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alanstrong83
alanstrong83
RedArmy20
:p
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alanstrong83
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alanstrong83
Atreidas
alanstrong83
#39919 Atreidas : No Offense, but i find three things that is slightly annoying me about your story.There is no pics at mo coz I update on here through my iPhone whilst playing fm (if anyone knows how to put pics on here through iphone please tell)sorry about the shorthand writing its just the way I do things and yeah fair point on only waiting an hour but wanted to start my challenge so just started one anyway
Most annoying: pictures! this a must need in a story if its going to be really succesful.
2nd most annoying: it feels like you are just typing this, more of the proper spelling. 'comin'? coming. 'feb'? Febuary, 'at the end of January (I) now got my... Fix missing words aswell, and more of ,, ., etc aswell.
3: you only waited an hour for the 10 leagues -.-
Fix those things and it will be a really good story.
alanstrong83
alanstrong83





→ This post was edited by alanstrong83 (2012-01-17 23:59, 1 years ago)
alanstrong83



