No Offense, but i find three things that is slightly annoying me about your story.
Most annoying: pictures! this a must need in a story if its going to be really succesful.
2nd most annoying: it feels like you are just typing this, more of the proper spelling. 'comin'? coming. 'feb'? Febuary, 'at the end of January (I) now got my... Fix missing words aswell, and more of ,, ., etc aswell.
3: you only waited an hour for the 10 leagues -.-
Fix those things and it will be a really good story.
Most annoying: pictures! this a must need in a story if its going to be really succesful.
2nd most annoying: it feels like you are just typing this, more of the proper spelling. 'comin'? coming. 'feb'? Febuary, 'at the end of January (I) now got my... Fix missing words aswell, and more of ,, ., etc aswell.
3: you only waited an hour for the 10 leagues -.-
Fix those things and it will be a really good story.
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