A bit of advice, take it or leave it but I would personally make sure that my first post, on a brand new story, that I hope to have success with, was an attention grabber. It needs to really set the scene for the story by using a mix of text and images, even possibly video. This isn't really an attention grabber for all the right reasons, it is lacking that "this story is going to be interesting" appeal.
Please don't take these comments as insults but instead take them as constructive criticism.
Please don't take these comments as insults but instead take them as constructive criticism.
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