The Manager
With everything in place for Irn-Bru to become Scotlands biggest team, we've all but one more thing left to do. Hire a manager.
Now you might be wondering why there is a great big picture of Piers Morgan at the top of this update and well, what else can I say other than this is who we've hired to take the reigns? It may seem far fetched but really I can assure you it's not.
Piers has been looking to become more involved in football ever since he found a platform to run his mouth about Arsenal, women, and gender-fluid apache helicopters.
When questioned on his aspirations for the club he said -
I'm really looking forward to getting stuck in with this club. I felt that it suits me down to the fact that this franchise stems from a long history of hard-men, and as they say Irn-Bru is only for hard-men.
NO snowflakes will be tolerated at Irn-Bronx while I'm on the throne I can assure you of that. We want to be the best, but we can only achieve this is we have a real strong policy of Hard-men only. Proper Hard-men. So hard.
Certainly seems like Piers' has a thing for hard-men.
tune in next time to see how Piers and 'The Real Winners Of TV's Naked Attraction' got in the first half of the 2019/20 season!
1
