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Uwe Rösler: Lost In A Foreign Land

A story of the former East German international Uwe Rösler as he takes the reigns of Italy's fallen giants - A.C. Milan
Started on 22 May 2015 by Jack
Latest Reply on 9 August 2015 by Jack

Kirchoff and Garner first to arrive at Elland Road

Uwe Rösler has completed his first two signings of the season today, as Bayern Munich's Jan Kirchoff and Preston North End's Joe Garner arrive at Elland Road for a combined fee of £3.8m.

The news of the 18-time German Under 21 international's arrival at Elland Road was first emanated by the Yorkshire Evening Post's chief sports writer Phil Hay on Twitter. He indicated on his Twitter account that Leeds United officials including new backroom arrivals Stuart Hayton, the new secretary and new chief scout Martyn Glover were part of the party that flew over to Munich to discuss a potential deal for the 24-year-old centre-back.

The negotiations were successful and the German took part in his first training session in late June, before the transfer window had started in England, so technically before his official arrival. He was welcomed by his manager, who is a fellow German in Uwe Rösler. He will be fit to be part of the squad travelling to Austria in early July for a pre-season tour including Wolfsberger AC, LASK Linz and SV Mattersburg.

The 6'5" Frankfurtian joins the club until summer 2018 unless his contract is renewed earlier than said expiration date. He appears to be earning around £18,000 per week at the West Yorkshire side and early estimates imply that Leeds paid the Bundesliga champions £1,900,000 for Kirchoff's services.

Joe Garner comes from much more familiar surroundings, though. He began his professional career at Blackburn before adventuring through the Football League, joining Carlisle, Nottingham Forest, Scunthorpe, Huddersfield, Watford and then his previous club Preston. He racked up a combined fee of £1.45m before his move to Elland Road this summer.

His form has disappeared in different stages throughout his career though, with his 14 goals at Carlisle, but then failing to continue this feit at The County Ground, then at Scunthorpe and Huddersfield. His time at Watford was drastic though. He scored one goal in 22 games for the Hornets, a shocking turnout.

But then Preston came in with a bid following his release from Watford in 2012. He failed to score a single league goal in his first season, but then he burst into action in the 2013/14 season. He netted 18 league goals in 35 appearances for Preston that season as he led the Lilywhites to a 5th placed finish in League One.

Then last season he had his most successful season to date, putting 22 goals in the net in 39 games in all competitions. He scored in the Play-Off Final last season against Doncaster Rovers, cancelling out Andy Butler's 12th minute goal to make it 1-1. The game went to penalties as Simon Grayson's men kept their composure and sent Preston into the Championship. It wouldn't have been possible without Garner, though.

Simon Grayson was probably more than happy to sell Garner to Leeds than anyone else though. Grayson supported Leeds ever since he was a young boy. He knew that a chance at Leeds only comes round once, and that Garner should seize the opportunity.

Garner signs for Leeds until 2017, as he is 27 years old Leeds must be careful about how much form they will get out of the striker. He is undoubtedly at his peak right now, but as soon as his form declines, Leeds must get rid for the highest fee they can. They bring Garner to Elland Road for a fee of £1.9m, and are paying him almost £10,000 more than Preston did as he earns £15,250 per week in West Yorkshire as opposed to his £6,000 per week at Deepdale.

Rösler recruits Spanish duo

LEEDS UNITED manager Uwe Rösler has today confirmed the signings of Liga BBVA stars Cristian Tello and Víctor Ruiz.

It comes to no surprise that Rösler has began to look beyond the British Isles for new transfer targets. Last season, Max Gradel was the only player to arrive at Elland Road from a foreign country. This season that tally has gone up to three already before the start of August, with Bayern Munich's Jan Kirchoff arriving on the start of the transfer window.

Tello celebrates a Barcelona goal.

Cristian Tello was the first to be agreed, with the winger arriving for £2,800,000 from the Liga BBVA runners-up Barcelona on the 27th of July. The left-winger very rarely got a game at the Nou Camp last season, starting only seven games in all competitions for Los Culés. He failed to score or assist any goals in that period.

This poor form led to his transfer-listing in April, before the season had even ended. The Sabadell-born winger was initially listed for around £4m, but that figure fell as the season ended, with Leeds picking the Barcelona graduate up for £2.8m - £1.2m less than his initial listing price.

He can't speak much English but the press in Yorkshire managed to get a few words from the 23-year-old: "To join Leeds is exciting. I look forward to challenge here in England. The team just come up from lower league and manager is very good, I hope to enjoy my stay here in Leeds."

Leeds manager of 13 months Uwe Rösler spoke highly of his new signing: "Tello is a beautiful player. He has pace, he has ability on the ball, he's wonderful! What's better is his age. The boy is only 23 years old so the Leeds fans can expect many good performances over the next few years from Tello."

Cristian Tello is reportedly earning £30,000 per week at Elland Road until June 2019, in four years time.

Víctor Ruiz turns away from Leverkusen's Sidney Sam.

The next to join Leeds' Premier League campaign is fellow Spaniard Víctor Ruiz from Valencia. He arrived at Elland Road from the Mestalla on the 29th of July. Last season, Ruiz made eleven appearances for Los Ches as Roberto Mancini led his Valencia side to a 5th placed finish in Liga BBVA.

The 26-year-old was often kept out of the starting eleven last season as Shkodran Mustafi and Nicolás Otamendi usually took charge of the back-four. But whenever Víctor Ruiz stood in for one of them, he did the job to a good standard and that is all that Uwe Rösler will be wanting from his new £1,500,000 signing.

Although there wasn't a problem related to Ruiz's performances or wage, he was transfer-listed on the basis that Vlad Chiriches had just arrived from Tottenham Hotspur earlier on in the window. Rúben Vezo is a younger prospect than Ruiz so Valencia felt they had to get rid of their former captain that they signed for £7m from Napoli in 2011 to make room for younger players.

Rösler called his new centre-back 'perfect for this league' and can't wait for him to start the new campaign in the Premier League.

Ruiz is reportedly earning £32,500 per week until June 2019 when he will be 30 years old unless Leeds decide to renew his contract before then.

'Final' two signings arrive at Elland Road

LEEDS UNITED manager Uwe Rösler has claimed he has signed the last two players of the transfer window today.

The first player in this article is the German wonderkid Timo Werner. He has been linked with many top, top clubs in the past, with some reports saying even Real Madrid have been interested in the striker/winger in earlier times.

Despite Werner's undoubted ability in any attacking position, he couldn't manage to keep his boyhood team Stuttgart from the drop down into Bundesliga.2. Stuttgart were six points down at the bottom of the Bundesliga as the season came to a close. They finished with six wins and nine draws. Werner made 31 league appearances out of a possible 34 and scored four goals in the league campaign. Hardly a great return considering his game time, but when a team is six points down and dead at the bottom you can hardly expect a 30-goal striker.

The 19-year-old is the Whites' biggest transfer of the summer, costing the club almost £7,000,000 to bring to Elland Road. The attacker has already scored three times in pre-season in six games. Rösler, a fellow German complimented the attacker saying this: "He's an absolutely wonderful player. There is not one attacking attribute that Werner hasn't got, he's perfect and he's only 19! I can definitely see Timo becoming a cult hero at Elland Road, it's inevitable."

Leeds failed to nurture a 'wonderkid' last season when taking on Flamengo's Adryan on loan for the season. Adryan failed to make a single league appearance last season on the basis that the formation didn't fit Adryan's typical attacking-midfield position in. He is now back at Flamengo and played 24 games this season, scoring only one goal.

But Timo Werner fits into this side, costing the club £6.75m to bring to Elland Road, earning a wage of £29,000 per week until 2019.

Callum Saunders' arrival at Elland Road caused much less excitement than that of Werner's. Saunders decided to follow in Chris Speed's and Luke Murphy's footsteps by taking the move away from The Alexandra Stadium to Elland Road. He joins Leeds United from Crewe Alexandra for £625,000 and goes straight into Leeds' Under-21 development side in a team containing fellow strikers Chris Speed, Lewis Walters, Eoghan Stokes, Clarke Oduor and Robbie McDaid. So as you can see, plenty of competition for the new boy.

The 19-year-old was placed on the development list upon his arrival, meaning simply that Leeds are looking to send Saunders out on loan to gain experience as is the case for all of Leeds' development teams. The striker admitted that it was his dad, ex-Galatasaray and Liverpool striker Dean Saunders - manager of Chesterfield that convinced him that a move to a Premier League Leeds United side only comes around once, meaning that he should accept the contract offered.

Interest in Saunders has rocketed, with relegated side Birmingham City and Rochdale showing major interest in taking the youngster on loan. MK Dons, Oldham, Sheffield Wednesday and Tranmere Rovers are teams who have also been linked with the Istanbul-born striker.

Saunders joins Leeds for £625,000 from Crewe, earning £900 per week until 2017.

Who has left Elland Road?

WITH all these new signings arriving at Elland Road, and Leeds racking up a transfer fee total of £15.37m so far, it makes you wonder who has actually left the club.

Eight players were released by Leeds at the beginning of July. One of them retired, two of them have since found clubs, but the other five are still searching. Who are these players?

Goalkeeper Paul Robinson was the most high-profile name to be released by the Whites, after making 28 appearances last season in Leeds' Premier League promotion season. Following his release, manager Uwe Rösler decided to reward Robinson's commitment that season by offering him the chance to become a goalkeeping coach alongside former Leeds shot-stopper Neil Sullivan at Thorp Arch.

Paul Robinson has become Leeds' new goalkeeping coach.

Since Frank Mulhern and Tom Pearce's release from Elland Road, Frank Mulhern landed himself a £1,000 per week deal at Sky Bet League One side Bradford City until 2018. Mulhern failed to make a single appearance for Leeds' first-team in his time there, but loan moves to Plymouth Argyle and Burton Albion in League Two proved his quality. He scored 7 goals in 17 games at Burton, but managed to make just one appearance at Plymouth previously. Bradford have obviously taken a cheap gamble on Mulhern's progress.

Tom Pearce was snapped up by Vanarama Conference Premier side Altrincham. He, like Mulhern failed to appear in one competitive game for the Whites and Altrincham snapped him up for free until 2017, paying him £210 per week. Other players released were Thomas Lyman, Bailey Peacock-Farrell, Luke Parkin, Michael Taylor and Tyla Bell. All of said players are still looking for a new club.

Jermaine Beckford leaves his second spell at Elland Road for Burnley.

The first transfer which commanded a fee was the departure of Jermaine Beckford to Burnley. Burnley finished 15th in the Premier League last season, only three points away from the drop. But have European football this season which is sure an attraction for any player, especially Beckford who has hit the peak of his career. Beckford leaves Elland Road once again for £750,000.

The second deal in place was Ben Pringle's departure from Elland Road. He decided to leave the club after 13 appearances last season and fell out with the manager Uwe Rösler near the end of last season's campaign. Leeds made a nice £400,000 profit out of Pringle's £600,000 arrival at the start of the season. He leaves Leeds to go to Wigan Athletic for £1,000,000 until 2018.

Sol Bamba's departure is the largest fee received by Leeds this summer so far.

The biggest transfer out of Elland Road in terms of transfer fee was Souleymane Bamba's move to AS Roma. The 6'4" giant was an integral part of last season's achievements at Leeds. He formed an excellent partnership with Liam Cooper all the way through the season and his time at Leeds ended perfectly with him lifting the play-off final trophy as captain. He left the club in tears according to fellow Ivorian Max Gradel, as he made his way back to Italy for £3.5m to last season's Serie A runners-up

The last permanent transfer was again to Italy. Not many Leeds fans even knew of Leonardo Spinazzola's existence until now he leaves to Serie B side Trapani. The winger made 4 appearances in all competitions since his arrival in January and scored one goal, but never made another appearance after January. He leaves for £500,000 to Trapani on a contract until 2019.

The only player loaned out this summer so far is Chris Dawson's move to Yorkshire neighbours Sheffield Wednesday in the Championship. Wednesday will pay all of Dawson's £3,800 wages and is staying at Hillsborough until the end of the season.

We probably set up too much of a hefty pre-season schedule. We played nine fixtures, including three in a tour of Austria. But that didn't phase our players whatsoever as we racked up a huge eight wins and one draw out of nine games.

What makes this even more impressive is that we achieved most of these wins with half of our first-team and half of our development teams, which helped our youngsters who needed first-team experience to improve. It was perfect for the upcoming season in the Premier League as we were worked hard, but I'm worried the players will be too tired.


Wolfsberger Athletik Club vs Leeds United

Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Sam Byram, Luke Murphy, Joe Garner (2)
Booked: Liam Cooper
Attendance: 2,336

Linzer Athletik-Sport-Klub vs Leeds United

Stadion der Stadt Linz
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Timo Werner
Booked: Jake Skelton
Attendance: 2,321

Sportvereinigung Mattersburg vs Leeds United

Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Max Gradel, Timo Werner
Booked: Jan Kirchoff, Jack Vann
Attendance: 2,339

Portsmouth FC vs Leeds United

Fratton Park
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Lewis Walters, Robbie McDaid
Booked: None
Attendance: 7,475

Leeds United vs Athletic Club

Elland Road
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Joe Garner (2), Liam Cooper
Booked: Sam Morsy
Attendance: 25,579

Birmingham City vs Leeds United

St. Andrews Stadium
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: None
Booked: None
Attendance: 4,143

Bristol City vs Leeds United

Ashton Gate
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Dave Doyle (2), Timo Werner
Booked: None
Attendance: 5,372

Leeds United vs Club Atlético Lanús

Elland Road
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Víctor Ruiz, Alex Mowatt, Max Gradel, Joe Garner
Booked: Víctor Ruiz, Liam Cooper
Attendance: 9,610

Gil Vicente vs Leeds United

Estádio Cidade de Barcelos
Preseason Friendly

Goalscorers: Timo Werner (4), Cadú (own goal)
Booked: Alex Mowatt
Attendance: 2,332


After a very successful preseason campaign, we are quite lucky as we are up against not the best of teams in the league. We face Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park for our first fixture on our return from Premier League exile. I'm confident we can win that game and maybe go onto go unbeaten all month against the likes of Burnley and Hull City. We play Cambridge United in the second round of the League Cup in August as well.

MATCH REPORT: Crystal Palace vs Leeds United

LEEDS UNITED marked their return to the Barclays Premier League with a goal fest at Selhurst Park.

It's been eleven years since Leeds' last game in the top-flight of English football and Leeds have gone through five different managers since their last meeting against Crystal Palace - with Neil Warnock leading the Whites to a 2-2 draw at Selhurst Park on 9th of March 2013 in the Championship.

But both teams now find themselves in a better place, as they fought out a very entertaining game on the first day of the Premier League.

Crystal Palace kicked off the game and kicked off the scoring yesterday. New signing Paolo De Ceglie started the move with a throw-in down the line to the Korean midfielder Lee Chung-Yong. He then gifted the ball to the pacey young winger Yannick Bolasie who made a run down the left hand edge of the area. The winger stopped suddenly as he let Leeds' right-back Sam Byram drift past him, expecting Bolasie to continue his run. Bolasie stopped and cut inside into the box, running in from the left. He jogged over the the edge of the six-yard box before toe-poking the ball into the bottom-right hand corner of the goal, with the ball going under the helpless Daniel Bentley.

Crystal Palace had the lead at 1-0 in the 7th minute.

Leeds' equaliser orginated from a De Ceglie throw in his own half this time. McArthur passed it to Chamakh, one of the only players in Leeds' half. He spread the ball out wide to the oncoming Yannick Bolasie who tried to take on Leeds' right-winger Max Gradel, but failed as the Frenchman was left on the floor by the Ivorian. This began Leeds' counter-attack on Crystal Palace - led by Lewis Cook.

The teenage sensation skipped away with the ball following Gradel's tackle on Bolasie and made his way to the halfway line before sending a ball to Leeds' new addition, Joe Garner up top. Scott Dann barged into Garner but it was declared a fair challenge on the 27-year-old. It wasn't a problem, though as Luke Murphy latched onto the ball to continue the attack. The former Crewe Alexandra man sent the ball into Alex Mowatt who was in the centre of the park. Mowatt spotted a run by the German wonderkid Timo Werner and sent over a beautiful ball to the winger, which Werner powered into the bottom-right corner.

Werner's equaliser came just three minutes after Bolasie's opener for Palace.

It was only seven minutes later when a Leeds United corner was floated in by the converted central midfielder Alex Mowatt. Jedinak cleared the ball only as far as Joe Garner, who hit a shot first-time, Hennessey parried it down to his near post, where he was oblivious to the fact there was a little Ivorian winger there expecting the ball. Gradel hammered it into the empty net.

Gradel's first goal in the Premier League made it 2-1 to Leeds.

Timo Werner set the game alight in the 20th minute though. An interception in his own half saw the German sprint past five Crystal Palace before his shot was parried away for a corner. It wasn't a goal, but it was the introduction Uwe Rösler would've wanted for his risky £6.75m signing.

Just four minutes after the break, Crystal Palace were knocking on the Leeds United door again. They were let in for the second time. A Bolasie run was halted by Lewis Cook in the centre of the final third. It caused a pass out left to Paolo De Ceglie, the ball was lended to Jason Puncheon before finding it's way back to Yannick Bolasie.

McArthur received the ball from Bolasie and stopped for a second to consider his options. Mile Jedinak then sent the ball all the way back to Brede Hangeland at the halfway line. It was clever play from De Ceglie and McArthur as McArthur spotted Puncheon's darting run into the box. The ball never arrived at Puncheon's feet, though. Víctor Ruiz had taken the man out and gifted Crystal Palace a penalty.

Marouane Chamakh stepped up to take it and the Moroccan slotted it to the right of Daniel Bentley's goal. Crystal Palace had equalised. 2-2.

Marouane Chamakh celebrating his penalty goal.

Byram had a throw-in deep inside Crystal Palace's half, level with the edge of the box. He threw it to the feet of his right-sided companion Max Gradel. The Ivorian couldn't find his way past the Italian left-back De Ceglie inside the box. He decided to cut onto his left foot and sent a searching cross, flying at hip-height across Hennessey's goal.

The cross found Timo Werner who volleyed in his second goal of the game on his Leeds United debut. 3-2 to Leeds.

In the 72nd minute it was time for Yannick Bolasie to re-enter the games affairs. He took a throw-in over on the right side of the field. He threw it to Ward. Lewis Cook intercepted the path of the ball and cleared it away. Joe Garner nodded it on straight to the outnumbering Crystal Palace defence. Scott Dann took control of the ball in his half. He sent a high ball over the top of Víctor Ruiz's head. The Spaniard jumped but couldn't reach it which sent the Moroccan striker Chamakh free into the box.

As Chamakh went out right to collect the ball, Bolasie made his way into the box and as it was crossed in, Bolasie followed it's path and scored the equaliser. 3-3 in the 72nd minute.

It took some late magic to save Leeds from drawing the game they deserved to win. Sam Morsy, who had come on for the booked Alex Mowatt in the 60th minute took the corner. Liam Cooper met it at the near post, but couldn't guide it goalwards. Instead, he flicked it over to the far post where Víctor Ruiz was waiting.

The Spaniard could only head it onto the bar, but it fell for the former Preston striker Joe Garner just inside the six-yard box. Among the flurry of attacking feet, Garner toe-poked it straight down the middle of the goal, Hennessey not being able to react quick enough. Garner had won the game in the 89th minute.

Crystal Palace 3 - 4 Leeds United

good result, unlucky about conceding all those goals though, thats what heart attacks are made from ;)

great update aswell :)
Jack's avatar Group Jack
7 yearsEdited

Snodgrass: Why I left Leeds

ROBERT SNODGRASS has revealed for the first time what Leeds United contributed to his decision to leave the club ahead of Leeds' Premier League tie against Hull City at the weekend.

The former United captain is proving a Premier League wow at Hull City following his £8m move towards the end of July last season, with the winger netting a dramatic late equaliser in a classy performance in the Tigers’ 3-3 draw at Aston Villa last weekend.

Snodgrass moved to Norwich in 2012, with the Canaries paying £1.5million the Scottish international, who, while grateful for his time at Elland Road, is glad to have swapped it for Carrow Road after, at times, bewildering seasons.

Snodgrass, who turned his back on a deal to become United’s top earner to move to the Canaries, told the Yorkshire Evening Post: “Neil (manager Warnock) tried to sign me on a longer deal at Leeds, but I told him I wasn’t ready because I wanted to play in the Premier League.

“I heard from him once or twice about signing and that was it.

“I think he was a bit more baffled about what was going on in the boardroom – whether it was going to be (chairman) Ken Bates or new owners in charge.

“I don’t really think he knew 100 per cent what was going on. If he didn’t know what was going on, then it was hard for me, too.

“The fee got agreed and the professional way Norwich went about their business and pushed so hard to get me made me really want to be part of things there.”

Neil Warnock 'didn't know what was going on' at the club, according to Snodgrass.

Snodgrass admits that the lure of Premier League football and potentially becoming an international regular with his country also played a big part in his decision to leave Leeds for long-time admirers Norwich, who failed in a bid to sign him in the summer of 2011.

The midfielder added: “I said when I left Leeds for Norwich, a big part of the move was down to it hopefully improving my international situation. That was my own view. I hadn’t spoken to Craig Levein about it or Neil Warnock.

“It was just clear to me if you get the chance to test yourself against the best players, it’s a no-brainer.”

Meanwhile, Whites chairman Bates has again defended his tenure at Elland Road and reiterated that his legacy will be that the club will be in safe hands when he moved on amid takeover speculation at the time.

Ken Bates is a hated man amongst the West Yorkshire areas.

Writing in his programme notes for a game with Blackburn, Bates, who also rubbished national newspaper reports that said GFH Capital would have completed a takeover ‘within the next 72 hours’ said: “There is a lot that goes on, and is going on behind the scenes, which unfortunately cannot be put in the public arena.

“However, rest assured that having spent the last seven and a half years clawing the club back from the abyss, I am determined that when I move on, my legacy will be that the club is in safe hands and will take Leeds United to the next level.

“Meanwhile, the club will continue to be run along proper lines, despite the clamour of the small minority. There are ‘none as deaf as those that won’t hear’ that this has to be the case.”
2015-06-21 19:55#215154 The Motivated One : good result, unlucky about conceding all those goals though, thats what heart attacks are made from ;)

great update aswell :)
It was nice to have so much to write about for our return to the Premier League! Thanks for the support mate, it's really appreciated :D
Very detailed story, great work so far Jack!

Now that is how you come back to the Premier League! Three straight league wins, okay, against lower quality sides, but they're in the Premier League for a reason. We take the lead at the top of the table after three games, obviously an extremely vague indicator as to where we will ultimately finish, but it sets the season off perfectly for us and has given the new signings a perfect sign as to what Elland Road life is like.


Crystal Palace vs Leeds United

Selhurst Park
Barclays Premier League

Goalscorers: Timo Werner (2), Max Gradel, Joe Garner
Booked: Víctor Ruiz, Liam Cooper, Alex Mowatt
Attendance: 25,499

Leeds United vs Burnley FC

Elland Road
Barclays Premier League

Goalscorers: Timo Werner
Booked: Sam Byram, Liam Cooper, Sam Morsy
Attendance: 34,723

Cambridge United vs Leeds United

The Abbey Ground
Capital One Cup 2nd Round

Goalscorers: Callum Saunders, Liam Cooper, Ian Miller (own goal), Dave Doyle (2)
Booked: Alex Purver
Attendance: 3,406

Hull City vs Leeds United

KC Stadium
Barclays Premier League

Goalscorer: Jan Kirchoff, Liam Cooper, Alex Mowatt
Booked: None
Attendance: 25,586

League Table

As I said before, we lead the Premier League table by two points. But you can tell how inaccurate this table is at this point in the season, with Chelsea sat in 19th place with one point.


September will mark the last day of the transfer window, but will also be the month we play some decent teams for Premier League standard. We are set to face Southampton, who will be looking to deploy new signing Sebastian Giovinco upon us, to which we hopefully don't let through. But the headline fixture for the month is definitely the Manchester United game - The Roses Derby. We have been absent from regular Roses Derbies in the past decade or so, and will be looking to reignite what we had lost, and maybe, just maybe beat the scum at Elland Road.
2015-06-22 10:10#215185 Feliks : Very detailed story, great work so far Jack!
Thanks mate! Great to get positive feedback, it's appreciated :D

The Rösler Raid

Inside the Rösler household...

"Hello? Yes, I'd like a delivery please... Yes, it's Uwe... Yes, erm, may I have a large pepperoni pizza?... Yes, with a portion of chips... Yes that's all thanks... Yep, see you later... Yes, thanks." They don't half like to drag on with a conversation at the local takeaway, I don't know if it's just me, but I hate it! All I want is a pizza, Jesus Christ.

I turn on my laptop to continue my save on Football Manager 2015 with Man City. Should I feel guilty for not being Leeds? Oh well, it's only a game, the fans won't find out. It was pretty easy, given shedloads of money with every coming season, not much of a challenge but it cured my boredom at least until the pizza arrives.

10 minutes later...

BANG, BANG, BANG... That was the door - I've never heard a delivery man so desperate to give me a pizza! I'm surprised the door didn't come off its hinges! I haul myself off the sofa over to the front door, it was silent in my house, the kids away at their mates' for a sleepover and the wife is out for drinks with her lady friends at Wetherspoons. I open the door, five men with long, slicked back, greasy hair appear in the September darkness. "Are you lot on a business trip from the Luigi's? Where's my pizza then?" I ask the group.

"Shut up you stupid man." The smallest one shouted at me in a slight Italian twang, all five took that opening line as a cue to barge past me into my home.

"Hang on, who are you lot?" I question them.

"Us? Ah, you were right about the business trip, but not from the takeaway." Another one replied.

"What's going on here?" I ask worriedly.

"We're here to do a bit of business here, all pre-planned with your boss so no need to go crying to him after this."

"Who are you?"

"Me? I am Enzo Moretti, these are Lucca Bianchi, Matteo Giordano, Dante Ricci and Dino Gallo. We're here on behalf of an Italian group." I was right about the Italian connection anyway.

"And why am I involved in this?"

"Ah, you see, your boss - Massimo Cellino. He has many, many links in Italy, we're his strongest connection." I stand there shocked.

"Right, so can one of you tell me what this 'group' is called, what your purpose is, and where I come into this?" I stand up to one of Enzo, who appeared to be the leader of this group.

"Sit the fuck back down, baldy!" He ordered, which was an order I followed, and I slowly went back to my seat on the sofa as they intimidatingly surrounded me. "This groups name is anonymous, why would we like to be classified? Silly question. Your second question - our purpose is to extract profits from big companies, just like Leeds United--"

"No you can't do--"

"HE TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!" Lucca screams at me.

"As I was saying, we extract profits from big companies, Massimo Cellino is our friend as well as owner of a very profitable company, we took the opportunity.

"Lastly, where do you come into this? You're the manager aren't you?"
He quizzed me.

"Yes, yes I am." I answer.

"Well, it's morally right that you should get used to the changes that are about to be happening to your club, because believe me, there's plenty to come from us - we haven't even started.

"So what you're saying is that you're effectively bankrupting the club of it's profits?"

"Oh no, not just that. We've already taken 20 million pounds from the remnants of your promotion, we haven't even started on collecting the ticket sales, your transfer budget, merchandise and sponsorship money. We're basically raping the club, and nobody can stop us - am I understood?" He glared at me intensely, forcing me to give in.

"Y-Y-Yes, of course, sure." I stuttered.

"Good." He lingered onto the vowels in the word. "I think our work here has been done, my friends." Turning around and talking to his four other criminal friends. "I suppose we'll be meeting you again very soon, Mr. Rösler." They opened the door to see the pizza delivery man. "Oh, and he even ordered a pizza for us! How very kind! Thank you very much Uwe!" As he snatched the box of pizza from the small European blokes hands, leaving me to pay the bill.

This job was going to get a lot harder.

All in all, a very decent month for us. We managed to defeat a good Southampton side 2-1 in our opening fixture of September, we then went onto gain a point at The Britannia Stadium of Stoke City, well known for it's hostile atmosphere, drawing 3-3 with The Potters. Our third fixture wasn't as bad as it looks, with our only first-team players fielded against Burnley being Jan Kirchoff and Daniel Bentley - the rest coming from our development sides. It's a shame to be knocked out of the cup, but I'm sure the F.A. Cup will be more important.

We finished our month back at Elland Road to face Manchester United in The Roses Derby. The Red Devils outshone us with quality of players, boasting the likes of David De Gea, Aymeric Laporte, Wesley Sneijder, Juan Mata, Wayne Rooney and Memphis Depay. The game finished 1-1 after a Joe Garner penalty spot equaliser after Depay's opener.


Leeds United vs Southampton FC

Elland Road
Barclays Premier League

Goalscorers: Kalvin Phillips, Timo Werner
Booked: Jan Kirchoff
Sent off: Liam Cooper
Attendance: 34,347

Stoke City vs Leeds United

The Britannia Stadium
Barclays Premier League

Goalscorers: Cristian Tello, Max Gradel, Billy Sharp
Booked: Charlie Taylor
Attendance: 27,461

Leeds United vs Burnley FC

Elland Road
Capital One Cup 3rd Round

Goalscorers: None
Booked: Jan Kirchoff
Attendance: 31,691

Leeds United vs Manchester United

Elland Road
Barclays Premier League

Goalscorers: Joe Garner
Booked: Jan Kirchoff
Attendance: 40,287

League table

As expected, we lost our top spot in the Premier League, and with the fixtures coming up I wouldn't be surprised to fall further down the table in the coming months. Arsenal managed to take a two point lead on us at the top as we play their North London rivals Tottenham Hotspur in our first game of September. The likes of Man City, Liverpool and Chelsea are all waiting to overtake us in the league - it's inevitable it will happen - especially considering the quality they have and have added in the summer transfer window. Liverpool signing Iker Muniain from Athletic Club, Man City signing Koke, Lars Bender and Ricardo Rodríguez, and Chelsea with Jesé and Stephan El Shaarawy.


We can't expect any more niceties from anyone from October onwards. Spurs will take us on in the first game with their newfound attacking maestro Salomón Rondón signed in August from Zenit. He will take any chances given to him in that game, so we must deny him of any opportunity. I wouldn't expect too much from Sunderland, but then we play Liverpool, containing the leagues top scorer Daniel Sturridge with 9 goals from 5 games as he leads Liverpool to a +13 goal difference - the highest in the league as we visit Anfield. We finish the month playing relegation-threatened Aston Villa, unpredictable with the strong attacking force of Gabby Agbonlahor and Christian Benteke.

Business to Conclude

Door knocks...

"Come in!" Says the voice behind the oak door.

Massimo Cellino sits at his Elland Road desk inside his own office - a location that has previously cooked up controversy at Elland Road, with the Mad Italian ostensibly accused of snorting cocaine inside said office. Papers and documents are stacked up on the table behind him, to be dealt with at a later time.

"Hello. Enzo, Lucca, Dante, Matteo, Dino. Welcome." Cellino acknowledged all five of his partners in crime.

"Hello, Massimo." Enzo began. "We've come to speak about possibilities of how to disguise us from the lowlife British press as we carry out our operation." He finished.

"I see. Do you have any thoughts on this?" Cellino opened the question for debate.

"Yes." Dino Gallo spoke first. "The media in Italy. We get them to write a fake profile on us, make us seem to be a wealthy investment company, then, when the supporters look for who we are, it gives out positive signals."

"No, no, no. Very poor idea my friend. All it takes is an insider to look up profiles for our company, and when it's not there it's already a fraud.

"What we need is, say, a family. Therefore there's no business to look up, we're anonymous to everyone. We take 25%, the Cellino's take 75% of the club."
Matteo offered his idea into the ring.

"I agree with Matteo on that. We must be a family, like Massimo did, but we're not actually a family. Dino - we'll go under your last name of Gallo." Enzo concluded.

"Good. Very good my friends. It's good to get things over with so quickly. I'll file the deal to the Football League and we're okay to go. I need to inform the board of this new development." Cellino said.

No, there's no need. Your board members will be taken care of by the police. We've filed a fraud allegation against all members besides you, it gives the English the bad press, which opens us up to become the 'saviours'." Enzo added.

"With what evidence, Enzo?" Massimo questioned.

"Ah, don't you worry. We have hackers working for us, they've got into their personal accounts - the evidence is there for the taking. No money has been taken from them, don't worry." Enzo answered.

"Very good. I think that concludes this meeting. I will organise a press conference to welcome our new 'investing family' as soon as the files come back to finalise the deal." Massimo herded the five men out of the door as he finished his final sentence.

"Oh I do love my money..." The chairman said to himself as he closed the door on the group.

You are reading "Uwe Rösler: Lost In A Foreign Land".

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