I cast my mind back to when I was a baby, and my Dad used to take me to the Arsenal. And I cast my mind back to the early 70s, and the days of the great Leeds side, and they were saying about the catalog of games; 65-75 games a season. And they asked the captain Billy Bremner about it and he said: "Well, when you're winning, you're not tired. You don't get tired, when you're winning".
Now what I'm saying is, the amount of work that I'm going to put in to this football club, the amount of work my players are going to put in, when the results do go the wrong way like they have done for the best part of 40 years - that coupled with the fact the amount of work we're putting in anyway, possibly the work of five people between three of us, the work of six people between four of us, you find yourself and all you're doing is sleeping. And the most important people are on a family photograph sat on top of the fireplace at home, the most important people, are the ones that suffer. So we all need energy, and we'll find it from somewhere...we'll find it from somewhere.
I didn't quit as a player, and I ain't gonna start quitting now. I got a living because of that, I got a living out of football because I never quit. I ain't gonna start quitting now.
My name is John Sitton.
Between 1985 and 1991 I played 174 games in a Leyton Orient shirt - I played for the football club I love as much as my three kids. To the average Joe, that might actually sound sick and twisted - but they say you can't help falling in love, and I couldn't stop and never will stop my love for Leyton Orient Football Club.
After I finished playing in 1994, Orient were enduring horrendous financial difficulty. It was so bad, they hired me and my then co-manager Chris Turner to turn around fortunes on the field. Trust in me, there has never been a more difficult job in football. We had to strip back the foundations and start again. An 18 man squad and two coaches. 18 players who didn't know what it meant to wear the Leyton Orient shirt, and it made me feel sick.
We succeeded in management of O's, we did. I remember, like it was yesterday. We've two games to go, we need 4pts to avoid relegation and save the club from inevitable liquidation. Imagine that pressure? It's unbearable. I didn't sleep a wink for at least 3 weeks, and neither did Chris. The players? Slept like babies. Because they didn't understand what Leyton Orient means to the fans - Leyton Orient to them was wages, not heart.
We salvaged 4pts from the final two games. Orient were safe in the Second Division for another year, and so were the books.
Unfortunately, during this deeply distressing and stressful time at the club - we were being filmed by a local wannabe journalist who was creating a documentary about how Leyton Orient was bought for a fiver by Barry Hearn - after then owner Tony Wood did his best to run a circus and the club into the ground.
These half-time team talks from myself being broadcast on Channel 4 got me the sack after keeping Orient up.
CLICK HERE TO SEE MY RANT AT BRENTFORD
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE TEAM TALK THAT GOT ME THE SACK
18 years later, and having not managed a football club since, I am back.
Finances are still dire, the players not much better. But trust in me, I will go to hell and back before I see this club fail any more. I'm still positive, of course I'm still positive. On my three kids, I love Leyton Orient Football Club.
I'll tell you what's gone before, it's airy, fairy, fantasies. That's what's gone before. I'll tell you all now, if allowed, something can be built at this place. But there has got to be an element of realism about it.
I've only brought back two things from my time in charge the first time round in 94/95 - and that's the dodgy tracksuit, and a sign for the dressing room wall. It reads: 'Nothing Great Was Ever Achieved Without Passion and Enthusiasm'.
Truer words, never spoken.