Golden Graham

The West Ham United fans loved me, the Chelsea supporters, not so much. The above chant was a reference to my undying loyalty to West Ham during my playing days and the way in which I publicly snubbed the Blues,

I was originally born in Leeds and grew up a Leeds fan. I came from a long line of Leeds fans and I was even a season ticket holder at one point. But when I was 10 years old, my dad got a promotion in his job that required us to move down to London. I could have followed my dreams and played for Leeds and was even scouted for the academy when I was 9, but I missed the trial after breaking my leg playing in the park with my friends.

With a potential career at Leeds having passed me by, I decided to get back on my feet and try my hand at getting somewhere in the Capital. West Ham came knocking when I was 12 and I became a young Hammer. I made my first team debut in 1992.

I was one of those players that always believed you should show loyalty to the club that gave you chance. I remained at the Boleyn Ground until the summer of 2010 when I retired having made 823 appearances and scored 218 goals.

As mentioned earlier, I turned down a move to Chelsea. It was in the summer of 2004, one year on from the arrival of Russian Billionaire Roman Abramovich. Jose Mourinho had been in charge for a week when he approached me. West Ham decided that £13m was too good to turn down and allowed them to speak to me. They offered me double what I was earning at West Ham with a £10,000 appearance bonus.

I told them to get out of my sight. I could tell they were trying to tempt me with money instead of trying to sell the club for its strengths and what’s good about it. I was furious that they thought I would just sell my soul like that. I wanted to publicly humiliate them and rang every journalist I could find the number for, quoting them that “I’m a footballer, not a prostitute”.

When I retired, I instantly moved into a coaching role at the club, one that I remained in until 2012, when I was approached by Wycombe Wanderers to manage their U18s. I was in that post for three years before I resigned at the end of the season. I wanted a first team management opportunity and set about looking for one. It wasn’t long before I found what I was looking for….

Good luck with this one, man! Nice start, I hope you have a good save!

Thanks man, we'll have to see won't we?

From my vantage point outside the ground in the car park, the stadium looked pretty impressive. Very flash and modern, although it is miles away from town. I was looking forward to this new adventure, this club is capable of doing much better and it's a shame to see them languishing the way they are.

I got up out of my car and headed towards the reception in the Main Stand.

"Is the chairman around please?" I asked the receptionist.

"Yes, are you here for the interview?" she replied.

"I am"

"I'll just buzz his office and he'll be down to meet you. Just take a seat for now"

I sat down in a soft blue chair, next to a large window pane. The evening summer sun cast a pleasant light over the surrounding area. I could see the players and coaching staff wrapping up training for the night at the training ground across the car park from the stadium.

"Steve Graham?" boomed a male voice.

I turned around and saw Robbie Cowling. I instantly got to my feet to shake his hand.

"Welcome to Colchester United" he said. "I'm glad we've got you in, you strike me as an ambitious guy and that's exactly what this club needs"

"It's a pleasure to be here" I said, still locked in the handshake.

"Shall we head up to the boardroom?" he said.

I nodded and followed him up the stairs. The walls that surrounded the staircase were a clean white, and the steps were a deep blue. Framed photographs of Colchester sides from years gone by adorned the walls, for the most part set at the club's old Layer Road ground. There was a picture of the celebrations that followed the famous 1973 FA Cup win against holders Leeds and an iconic picture of former player-manager Rory McDonough, celebrating a goal during the 1991/92 season which saw the Us win the Conference title and return to the Football League. As we reached the top, there was a picture of Phil Parkinson at the end of the 2005/06 season, which saw the club win promotion to the second tier of English football for the first time.

The boardroom was straight across the corridor from the end of the staircase, concealed behind a wooden pair of double doors. The room was fairly basic with just a large table in it, although I was reliably informed on my stadium tour before my interview that there was a catering service that delivers food to the boardroom on match days.

Outside the boardroom was a row of white seats for board members and their guests. This row sits astride the halfway line, directly above the tunnel and behind the dugouts. The other three stands are all of equal height (slightly smaller than the Main Stand) and are quite close to the pitch.

"This is where I sit on a match day" said Mr Cowling. He walked out on to the seating area and took a seat, gesturing towards me to take a seat next to him. "So Mr Townend, it's great to have you here. This is obviously a club with some history, would you further information about it?"

"Yeah sure" I said. "I've done a bit of research already but if you can just shoot an email my way, that'd be great"

"Do you have any philosophies that you'd like to implement at this club?"

"Yes I do, can we meet at a later date to discuss them?"

"Absolutely. We've got a press conference lined up for you tomorrow, can you just confirm that you'll be attending?"

"Yes, I will be. It's a good chance for the fans to see me in Colchester's colours for the first time"

"The expectation is to avoid relegation. Reckon you can do it?"

I smiled before saying "I'd like to tell you we can do better but I won't get your expectations too high. Avoiding relegation is a reasonable goal"

He then straightened up before saying "Well as you can probably tell, training is over for today so you'll meet your players and staff tomorrow. If you want, you can check out your office, even get a bit of work done if you feel like it. I'm not overly sure where it is because previous managers have just been called to the boardroom. If you go down to reception, Alison will be happy to show you where it is"

We both got up and shook hands. Alison showed me to my office but I really only wanted to check it out. The important stuff will be done tomorrow.

My playing career was never a smooth journey by any stretch of the imagination. Injuries can do horrible things to a player’s mind and I spent the final stretch of my playing days in a dark place.

I was sidelined for the 2006 FA Cup Final against Liverpool following an injury I picked up the day before. I thought it would be something I could just jog off over the summer, but that was before my scan on the Monday. The scan revealed I had ruptured my anterior cruciate ligament and would be out for at least a year.

The rehabilitation was tough, and I went through a phase of depression that came from not being able to play or train with my team mates. When the initial year was up, I still wasn’t over the injury and the specialist said I could be out for a further 3 months. This was the tipping point and I started drinking.

I drank, and I drank, and I drank. My closest friends told me I was doing my liver no good but I didn’t listen. The threat of liver failure never stopped me drinking. It was another setback that did that. One night, I got out of bed for some water. I was still hammered so I staggered out of my room. And then the worst happened. I fell down the stairs.

The damaged stopped just short of disabling me completely and my already wounded knee was damaged. The doctor said I’d need surgery for it to be in any fit state of repair. Luckily, the surgery was successful and all it meant was that I’d be injured for even longer. It was at this point that the manager- then Alan Curbishley- was about to release me from my contract. I begged and pleaded with him and in the end I persuaded him to let me stay on the condition that I got help for my alcoholism and settled for a reduced contract.

I’ve not touched a drop of alcohol since that night, the stuff has practically terrified me. I’ve not spoken to the woman I was seeing at the time since the incident, nor have I entered into any form of relationship since then.

After more intense rehabilitation, I was finally back playing football. I made my comeback appearance at the start of the 2008/09 season, having spent two years out with injury. I never made a full appearance again, but I still played with some regularity. I was always in the 18-man squad, it was usually a question of if I would be substituted or come off the bench. I picked up niggles in my knee, but the medical team handled it expertly and I owe the prolonging of my career to them.

If they hadn’t been there to motivate me out of my rough patch, I daren’t think what would have become not just of my career but my life.