Hammarby Fotboll: It's hammer time!

Authors Note

Now you may be wondering, why's he starting another story he just started a Palace one. I played ahead and I have some issues with the actual save itself so I've gotten it to be locked.

I promise this story will be wild! Not Michael wild, but wild and a good read! The last time I said that, my Arsenal story won SOTM so I'm serious about my words!



Hammarby, known as "Baejen" for short, is a Swedish football club based in Johanneshov. The reason why I picked Hammarby is because immediately I saw there name, I thought of MC Hammer Also, they look like a promising side, Swedish girls are beautiful and I've always wanted to manage a Swedish side! The club has a lot of great history and I'm sure it will be fun managing them.






As my manager, I've gone with the father figure of popular reality show Geordie Shore Scott Timlin! According to Mr.Timlin he has a PhD in pulling birds. It will be interesting to see what Mr.Timlin is up to in Sweden. A geordie, managing a side, with beautiful ladies around is bound to be interesting!

Who the hell is that?

2013-11-02 14:37#141128 Louis O. : Who the hell is that?

Scotty T!

2013-11-02 14:37#141128 Louis O. : Who the hell is that?

You'll have to watch Geordie shore to know who he is

2013-11-02 14:42#141132 Seni :

2013-11-02 14:37#141128 Louis O. : Who the hell is that?

You'll have to watch Geordie shore to know who he is

Now, why the hell would I do that?

2013-11-02 14:42#141132 Seni :

2013-11-02 14:37#141128 Louis O. : Who the hell is that?

You'll have to watch Geordie shore to know who he is

http://memecrunch.com/meme/HH1L/nah-you-re-alright/image.png

Well I liked the cheer-leaders But I'm sure you'll feature lots more hotties tbf;)

F*** me the girls here are georgeous, they're literally stunning I can't keep my eyes of them but I must remember what I'm here for. The only reason why I'm actually in this night club is to meet Mr.Jens, the director of Hammarby. Its very strange. When I was on Geordie shore, every night I was at a nightclub to pull girls, but now I'm here for a "business meeting".

It all started back in Newcastle, I told myself "Come on Scott, there's more to life than just pulling birds go out there and do something worthwhile". Obviously, when I can I will pull but I decided to go into the world of football and management in particular. I'm not the best at football, almost everyone knows that, however I understand the philosophies to the game and the tactical aspect. So back in Newcastle I did a course for my Continental Pro License while Geordie Shore was on a break and I successfully got it. Next was to find a club, so I popped on the internet and checked out this website which shows vacant manager jobs and I noticed Hammarby. I called them up immediately and introduced myself and they were shocked! Apparently, Geordie Shore is the big thing over there and the cast are more or less celebrities. They said having someone so popular would boost their finances and so they invited me over to Sweden, that's why I'm here.

Meeting Mr.Jens

Mr Jens
Scott Timlin

MJ: Mr.Timlin, glad you could make it!

ST: Cheers sir, its great to be here, this is a beautiful country.

MJ: Indeed it is, I assume you've checked into your hotel and everything is ok?

ST: Yeah I have, its wicked!

MJ: Well then, tomorrow we meet at 10 A.M at the clubs stadium, we will send a driver to your hotel 30 minutes before hand. The chairman, Mr.Richard will be there. Hopefully the negotiations go well, the contract is signed and you're ready to go. We've got a match in the near future but don't worry, its a friendly. It will give you a chance to get to know your squad.

ST: That sounds great, thanks a lot for giving me such an opportunity and giving it to me of all people, I really appreciate it a lot.

MJ: No problem, well I'll be going now, I have my wife waiting for me at home and if I'm not back on time she'll kill me. Enjoy the rest of your night Mr.Timlin.

ST: Cheers Mr.Jens, have a good night and see you tomorrow at 10.

*Mr.Jens exits the nightclub*

Well that went well, its only about 9:30 PM and there are loads of fit girls wondering around, I guess pulling one bird wouldn't be a bad thing would it? I'm looking around and I see someone. I'm both happy, frightened and shocked, its Marnie! In case you don't know who she is. Marnie was on the cast of Geordie Shore, and we had a bit of a thing going on between us which pissed off the other cast members, she did get with Gaz once my best mate but I forgave her. I go up to her and say hey and ask her what she's going here. She gives us a big hug and tells me she's doing some business here. Immediately the flirting begins. Jackpot, she's in the bag and coming to the hotel with Scotty T tonight!

Scott Timilin
Marnie Simpson

ST: Marnie, the driver's called and he's downstairs I'm off ok?

MS: Alright babe, take care, I hope everything goes well with your negotiations, by the time you get back I would have gone out but I'll see you in the evening.

ST: Alright, see ya love!

As I entered the car and greeted the driver, I had a lot of my mind. Mainly football but personal life too. Firstly, I have no agent, I was never good at Maths so how would I know what a good deal is? I'm not saying I'm in it for the money, but obviously I would like a decent offer that will enable to me to take care of my self and possibly Marnie. That's the second thing on my mind, Marnie. She's georgeous and I really like her but I'm not too sure if I should still go down that road or just stick as friends. Anyway, I need to stay focused and make sure I set make a decent first impression.

The driver tells me to look ahead and when I do I see this.....



I don't know whats better how St.James park is in the middle of town or this but what a beautiful stadium this is. If the outside looks like this, then I wonder what the inside looks like! We go into the underground car park and I spot Mr.Jens waiting there.

Mr.Jens
Mr.Richard
Scott Timlin

MJ: Welcome Mr.Timlin, its very nice to see you again please follow me upstairs to the boardroom where Mr.Richard awaits you.

ST: Thank you sir.

As we walk up to the boardroom I notice pictures hanging on the wall. They're like a story of the club from day one, its incredible. We're nearing what seems to be a medium sized room with the writing "boardroom" on it. As Mr.Jens opens the door I see a dark haired, middle aged man sitting down and smiling.

MJ: Mr.Timlin, meet Mr.Richard, the chairman of the club.

ST: Good morning sir, thank you for having me and giving me this opportunity.

MR: Good morning to you Mr.Timlin, thank you for not rejecting us and flying out to Sweden, I hope you have enjoyed your time here so far?

ST: Indeed I have.

MR: Right let's get started shall we? Mr.Jens could you project the presentation and show Mr.Timlin a bit about our club?

MJ: Yes sir, Mr.Timlin if you would be so kind to look at the projector. As you can see, we are a professional side that was founded in 1987. In fact we are one of the oldest clubs in our division. Our fierce rivals are AIK and Djurgadens. Winning against them is a must!

We are predicted to finish 1st and gain promotion, that is because last year we painfully and narrowly missed out on promotion, but this year we believe you can lead us to promotion.




ST: Wow, this sounds like a great club. Despite my inexperience, I believe I can help the team to achieve all its goals.

MR: I love the ambition. Make sure you don't allow the press to get to your head, they are crazy here just like they are in England. Now Mr.Jens I think Mr.Timlin would like to know a bit more about our stadium and our facilities. Perhaps you could show him some pictures and explain some essential things to him.

MJ: Yes sir. Mr.Timlin the stadium that you are currently seated in has a capacity of 30,000. That is the biggest in our division and every team wants to play at our stadium. The condition of our pitch is second to none. The Tele2 Arena is brand new and has just been built. However, our training and youth facilities are not the best and need improvement in the future, but right now we do not have the money to do so after building such a wonderful stadium. This leads into our next topic of discussion, finances.

Due to us needing money desperately, we've had to reduce the wadge budget and transfer budget for the upcoming season, here is a brief overview of our finances. We are sorry if they are not the best.




ST: It is fine, I understand. Its not easy to build a new stadium that is as beautiful as this. Hopefully with the fans buying tickets and other sources of income, we can get the money back and then invest again. It could form a cycle. I mean having 30,000 fans here is wicked! Maybe increasing the ticket prices a tad could increase the income.

MR: Indeed. Now finally to talk about your contract. We will pay you 825 p/w. This may seem very low but for us its the best we can offer. Obviously as time goes on, we can offer you a new contract if we choose to. With a new contract the wages could increase. We hope our offer is acceptable.

ST: To be honest sir, I'm not doing it for the money. It will be a good experience and a good starting point. I will sign the contract.



MR: Great! Welcome on board Mr.Timlin, the driver will now lead you to your house and will give you the keys to your car.

ST: House and car? WICKED! Thank you very much Mr.Richards and Mr.Jens have a good day.

Well I'm glad that went well! A house and car all to myself, that's mint! Oh yeah there's Marnie too, I totally forgot...

2013-11-02 15:12#141137 Rablador :

2013-11-02 14:42#141132 Seni :

2013-11-02 14:37#141128 Louis O. : Who the hell is that?

You'll have to watch Geordie shore to know who he is

http://memecrunch.com/meme/HH1L/nah-you-re-alright/image.png

LOOL!! Good start Seni very different approach!

2013-11-02 15:12#141137 Rablador :

2013-11-02 14:42#141132 Seni :

2013-11-02 14:37#141128 Louis O. : Who the hell is that?

You'll have to watch Geordie shore to know who he is

http://memecrunch.com/meme/HH1L/nah-you-re-alright/image.png

LOOL!! Good start Seni very different approach!

@Aaron thanks for the kind words

When I went down to the training ground this morning, I didn't know what to expect really. I mean this club isn't any Barcelona but I wasn't too sure what to expect from the players. Luckily I had my assistant,Carlos. He's been at the club for some time and so he could teach me a few things.

Once I arrived at the training ground, I spoke to all the players and introduced myself:

"Hello lads, I hope you all had a good night? My names Scott Timlin, or Scotty T for short. I'm a nice guy and very friendly but that doesn't mean I'm a push over. So maybe a few of you know me from Geordie shore, but none of you will know me as a manager because this is my first job as one.

Being a new manager will have its disadvantages and mistakes but that is good, for you learn from your mistakes and that's what makes you stronger. I've been told last year you narrowly missed out on promotion due to some silly mistakes, hopefully this year we will learn from those mistakes and go a step further.

This year I can guarantee you there will be blood, sweat and tears...but at the end of it there shall be success..."

I waited for a few seconds...did I make myself seem like a clown? Was I too serious? Then suddenly, one player clapped, then two, three, five, before I knew it everyone was clapping and the chants began "Scotty T! Scotty T" I was feeling mint! Like a king.

The training session itself went better than I had planned. We actually have some quality players. I spoke with Carlos in my office in depth about the squad, where we need to improve and just a general overview of the squad, alongside with our key players. Here is the overview:

Squad Overview

The squad is decent, not the best but a few quality players. I think the left back position needs strengthening and we need a defensive midfielder. In those two positions we lack depth. Our stronger positions are in the attacking midfield. We could do with another striker and therefore we will be dipping our toes into the market.

Key Players

We've got some friendlies coming up, it will be a good time for me to test how good this side really is and to see how my players perform when in matches. Right now I need to get home to Marnie, she's waiting for me at home.

So is the Geordie Shore just the UK version of Jersey Shore???

Nice last update Seni Looking forward to this story! Keep up the good work. But one question WHERE ARE THE GIRLS HAHA!