Scott Timlin: Geordie Mourinho!

It's 3A.M. in the morning, I'm lying in bed in Newcastle Upon Tyne, hungover. What's new about that? Nothing. Last night was mental. We partied all night long, I remember asking for more shots every five minutes and now I'm here with a massive headache and vomiting, life couldn't get any worse could it? Oh wait, it did. Last night I didn't only drink a lot, I did some stupid things while drunk, like calling up MTV and telling them I quit from the show "Geordie Shore" what an idiot I am.

Now I'm stuck lying in bed, hungover and unemployed, crap. I have one possible saving grace, football. During my time in school, I got an A* in A level P.E. and I did get a few FA coaching badges, so technically, I could become a manager if I wanted to. There's only one extra problem. How can I promote myself? How will clubs know there's a young handsome and fit lad like myself available to manage their side. Would they judge me based on my history. Ok that's more than one problem! Maybe a text to my agent, Ash could help.

"Ash, I need your help mate. I don't want to be unemployed forever and I don't want to have to result into banging to get money. I've got some qualifications to be a football coach, help me find some small clubs that are willing to take me on mate, cheers. Scotty T."

A few hours later Ash replied:

"Scott, you're a real prick you know. I'll see what I can do and try and contact some clubs. I can't imagine you being a football manager though. You can't even manage how much money you spend each week on drinks, P.S. the club called last night, you did some damage...."

So this is it? The journey has begun, now I'm known as "Scotty T, the Geordie Mourinho" but before I can live up to that name, I need to work out how I'm going to pay for the damage I did.

P.S. Never take too many shots of Ciroc, it can make you're incredible hulk.

Good start mate, nice idea as well. I wonder who you'll be managing soon

Good start, will be interesting to see how this pans out!

Thanks for the support!

So I've got some cracking news! For the last few months, Ash and I have been working super hard to try find a new job for me as a football manager. It's been very tedious! Going all around England for interviews, most of them I was rejected because of my "bad boy" reputation, they're having a laugh!

After my unsuccessful interview with Wrexham, were I accidentally called the chairman a tosser, I decided to go into North London and get some Nando's because we were starving! Thankfully there weren't many people inside so we could get in and get out swiftly, ahead of the final interview for the day, with Barnet Football Club.

Ash told me not to talk to much, to try and hide my Geordie accent and if they asked about my past, just say "in life, you can't dwell too much on the past, I believe the future is what is important." However, I didn't say that the last 10 times, I said something more along the lines of this: "I've gotten with almost every fit bird you'll find in Newcastle, which manager has done that? None. I'm the Geordie Mourinho!". Within seconds of saying that, Ash and I would find ourselves in the car, driving to the next destination.

The Meeting

Mr.Tony: Mr.Timlin welcome, we have been expecting you for a while, may I ask what took so long?

Me: Good day to you sir, sorry about that, I had to squeeze in a cheeky Nando's, I was starving! Now I'm here and that's all that matters aye?

Mr.Tony: Well...yes...that's all that matters I suppose. Right let's get down to business shall we?

Me: Wicked! Sorry I mean, yes we shall.

Mr.Tony: Barnet is a club with a lot of history. Unfortunately last season, we were relegated out of the football leagues and into the Skrill Premier League. This isn't something we are proud of and we want to make things right, especially as this is our 125th year in existence. The board believes that despite your inexperience and your...rather intriguing background and history, you should be given the chance to take the club forward. Now tell me Mr.Timlin, what do you think you can do for this club?

At this point, I remembered what Ash told me, don't bring up the past..but I just had too...so I did!

Me: Well Mr.Tony, being a bit of a celebrity up North and in certain parts of England and me once being part of Geordie Shore, I believe I could increase the publicity of Barnet Football Club, increasing the income of the club. It would take a while at first but eventually it would be done. I'm Scotty T, the Geordie Mourinho. The ladies love me, if they come to watch games because of me, more lads will to try and get with them = $$$ do you get what I'm saying?

Mr.Tony: *silent* I'm quite amazed by your philosophy to make money, but please tell me, how would you help our football? I must say right now we don't play the most attractive football.

Me: Oh yeah about that...I would obviously bring in younger players, give them a chance. Also new training techniques should help the lads play fluid and attacking football. It's something I was taught how to do when I was still up North in Newcastle.

Mr.Tony: Mr.Timlin, as Barnet is a relatively small club, you would only have a transfer budget of 10k and a wadge budget of 16.28k. Here is the contract we're willing to offer you.



Their offer was alright, after all they're Barnet not City!

Me: That offer is fine Mr.Tony.

Mr.Tony: Fantastic, if you could sign here, that would be great and then you're ready to meet your staff and get the club merchandise.


I ended up signing the contract, posing for photographs and picking up some club merchandise. It was a great feeling, becoming the manager of Barnet F.C. even though the club had played 16 games and were sitting in 12th with 23 points. I can't wait to hear the fans chanting "Geordie Mourinho, Geordie Mourinho!"

Great update and in London Scotty can still pull some birds doubt he could have done that in Wrexham. Good Luck.

2014-05-24 16:24#176429 cfcmarkt : Great update and in London Scotty can still pull some birds doubt he could have done that in Wrexham. Good Luck.

Haha thanks!

Recently appointed manager, Scott Timlin, started his not only his Barnet career but managerial career with a convincing 2-0 victory away to Staines, in the Fourth qualifying round for the FA Cup. The squad traveled to Surrey to compete for a chance to take part in this year's FA Cup, the most magical competition in England.

Before the match, we spoke to Scotty T about the match and here is what he had to say:

Scott: "This is my first game in charge of Barnet and my first game as a football manager. I've just joined and I haven't had the whole pre-season to get used to the team and know my players well, but that isn't an excuse. I'm still expecting a good performance from the lads and in the two training sessions I've had with the team, I've been impressed.

A lot of stuff has been said about the squad and how it's not good enough, I don't believe what they say. I believe that this squad is good enough to do well this season and prove the doubters and haters wrong. We have a chance to do exactly that this afternoon when we face Staines. Hopefully we can get the win and move ever closer to qualifying for the FA Cup."


Over 1,000 fans gathered at Wheatsheaf Park to watch the fixture between the two sides. The Barnet fans were in great numbers and made sure they were noisy throughout the afternoon chanting "Scotty T, Geordie Mourinho". There was a huge roar from the crowd as the new gaffer, Mr.Timlin ran onto the pitch to applaud the fans.

The first half wasn't the most interesting as both sides took a fairly cautious approach, but it was in the second half that Barnet shifted a gear up. The Irish 24 year old, Mark Bryne gave Barnet the lead after getting on the end of a fantastic through ball. Just 6 minutes later, Marsh Brown scored from an identical through ball, making it 2-0. Barnet had many more chances to increase their lead but were unlucky not to score.

After the game we spoke briefly to Scott and he said:

Scott: "A brilliant victory that is. The first half was a bit slow, but in the second half we blew them away, playing very attractive football. Our two goals came from something we've been working on during training, so I was glad that it paid off during our game!"

Nice win and write-up.

2014-05-24 21:44#176470 Josh_MU : Nice win and write-up.

Thanks Josh, it was nice to win my first game at LLM!

As a barnet fan, i will be following

Good to start a new era at Barnet with a win, and a nice update too!

What a brilliant idea for a story mate, and really enjoying what you have written already!

One thing that's tough about being a football manager, is the sacrifices you have to make every single day of the week. Every morning you must get up nice and early and head to the training ground before the players, in order to prepare for the training session. Thankfully, the training ground is near my house so sometimes, I can fit in a cheeky lie in, which can be wicked!

I'm still a young manager, learning everyday and so my staff are very important to me. They don't see me as their boss, maybe that's because I'm much younger than all of them and some of the players, but they see me as a friend, which is also pretty decent. My assistant, Dick, is very patient with me. Sometimes I can be a bit immature and silly, for example, last week I wanted to take the club up to Newcastle to experience what a real party is, but Dick advised me that it was best for them to drink tea in a hotel and eat biscuits, what a loser!

I've been trying really hard to get to know the team better, not only on the pitch but personally. The captain, Graham Stack and I have been working hard on creating leisure activities every month. This will enable the lads to go out and have fun but at the same time, get to know each other better. Just yesterday, the whole squad went to Nando's and I got the lads to tell each other their strengths and weaknesses on the pitch, whilst the coaches noted these down. Now the players can help each other on the pitch, which is exactly what football is all about.

As a new manager, it's important to discuss tactics with your coaches, to create the winning one. Now since we're in the Skill Premier League, there is a stereotype that all teams play two types of football:

1. Hoof the ball up to the tallest man on the pitch, he heads it down and you score.
2. Pace abuse. Always look for the through ball which will put your speedster through on goal.

There's nothing wrong with playing that football, but I want Barnet to be unique, I want us to be known for something. Obviously introducing a complicated formation would be silly, when you consider the technical quality of the players, but I've gone for a "simple" 4-5-1 formation. The wingers will play as inside forwards, whilst the striker, will play as a false number 9. This is a risk, I know. Many people will think "this is non-league football, you need a big centre forward" but I think this will pay off.