From the streets of Beeston

Jesus, man, that really hit me hard! Brilliantly written yet again, Josh.

Jack: Cheers mate

31st March 2015

I told Steve Evans about what had happened straight away.I spent the following month on compassionate leave and the past month and a half off work because I didn't feel up to it.

My life had been leading up to this point where I was almost in a position to manage a pro team, and all the while I never took time to appreciate my one-woman support team. And now she had been snatched away from me by one of the biggest killers in the world, drink driving.

It felt worse when Harvey came over. With the grieving process involving anger, he was bound to take it out on me at one point and sure enough he did. He got past that though. In fact, he got to the acceptance stage way before I did. By the date in question I was still stuck at an unofficial phase called 'wallowing in self-pity'.

So it came to little surprise when he was the one that turned up at the door of my parents' house. Yes, you read that right. At 40 years old, I was still contributing to bills in my old bedroom in my parents' council house in Beeston that I grew up in.

I was sleeping off a burst of intense depression when I heard a knock. Invariably, it was all-grown-up Harvey, now 34 years of age.

"How are you holding up?" he asked when I finally came around.

"I'm not" I replied

"Look at you" he said, with the contempt that you'd give a piece of dog shit it in the pavement. "You're 40 years old, you're living with your parents and you've been moping over someone her own son got over ages ago for the past two and a half months"

He had a point, but I didn't want to say anything. It wasn't out of self-pity, I was genuinely hoping he might offer me some motivation once he'd finished slagging me off. I was still in debt over a degree that now means nothing given my change of direction in my career, I would probably lucky if I still had a job to go back to, I was still living with my parents and to top it all off, I was a mile behind on a course that might actually lead me into a job that could make my life meaningful because I was still moping over the last thing to do such a thing for me.

"You've got to pull yourself together" he continued. "Mum was so excited when you started that course. She wanted you to make it big so that you and her could be happy again. She's not around for that any more but you're still alive. You met my mum after you decided you wanted to pursue coaching, so why are you letting her death hold back your career and your happiness? We're both grown men. Sure, my mum was gone too soon and that kills me but I'm over it. I'm over it because I knew she wouldn't be here forever."

By this point Harvey was pointing to the floor, indicating the obvious point that she wouldn't be physically here forever. I knew what was coming, and quite inevitably, he pointed to his heart.

"But she will be here forever." He pointed to my heart, "and the sooner you pull through it all, she'll be right there too. I never had a biological dad, but I've had you, and that was more than good enough. I don't want my dad's life to shatter into an irreparable mess just because my mum's gone. It's one thing not having my mum physically here, but when my dad goes mentally missing, it's hell."

He was right. I was the parent (step-parent, but he saw me as a main parent), and he was the one trying to hold me together. I couldn't just let my life go just because the life of someone close to me has been taken. I had to get my balls back.

I rang Steve Evans who was, quite luckily very understanding of my position. He had called in someone to do my job on a rolling contract until I was back, and allowed my to ease back into my job, taking baby steps back into my role until I was raring to go full-time again. The club's counselling service helped me through and I was back on the training ground by the start of the 2015/16 pre-season.

The FA and UEFA allowed me to stay on the course on the grounds of extenuating circumstances. I sat through one-to-one classes to catch up on what I had missed, and took extra consultation sessions to compensate for the ones I didn't attend. Josh Townend was on his way back.

God bless Harvey, good luck Josh Townend! You keep producing top quality updates at a fast pace and I'm really falling in love with this story!

Jack: I do aim to please!

1st September 2015

The past 7 and a half months had been a complete rollercoaster of emotions. I returned to work at the start of April, initally on a part-time basis until I felt I was ready. To keep me busy in the off-season, I took a trip to Ireland, where they were still mid-season. I volunteered in the youth setup at Derry City before returning to Rotherham for pre-season.

By this point, I was finally up-to-date on my coaching course and ready to get on with coaching the Under-17s again. They showed a brilliant 'the show must go on' mentality in my absence last year, eventually finishing 3rd in the league.

This year, things were different. I had a new boss. After keeping the club in the Championship last season, Steve Evans and Paul Raynor left the club. They were replaced by outgoing Leeds head coach and my former colleague at the Leeds United Academy, Neil Redfearn. Coincidentally, they also took his place at Elland Road.

Redfearn brought about a tactical overhaul at the club, bringing in a 4-3-3 system to be played at all levels. It would focus on a short passing, high tempo style of play, with the full backs pushing high up the pitch on the attack.

This was of help when I went for my consultation meetings at St George's Park, as there was the club's main system as well as the backup system I liked to employ, the 5-3-2 formation. I did research on these systems, often for long hours as well as looking into ways in which the mechanics of those systems can be coached. For example, the full backs would have the most running to do so they'd be the ones being put through their paces with the fitness coaches.

We made a good start to the season in the Under-17s, winning three and drawing one out of our first four matches. Things were looking up for me once again. I was finally through the grieving process and I now had just three months until the time would come to pursue my dream of becoming a manager of a professional side.

I absolutely love Redfearn, and Redfearn loves his youngsters, hopefully you can feed them through to him or even take a higher role in the club

Jack: I guess we'll have to find out!

Editor's note: Apologies for the recent lack of posting, but I've had to take some time out for personal issues, pursuing my real life ventures


1st November 2015

It was the day of my final consultation before the exam and I was raring to go. We hadn't lost all season which was news to the gaffer's ears to hear that his young teams were performing well.

Mr Redfearn had let me set training for my own side, to aid me with my coaching course, and that included setting the working hours. We were in from 12-3 on a Monday and Friday and 11-4 on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (based on a Saturday-only match week).

The lads took well to the reasonable hours, and there was notable progress on the training ground. Some of them had even been deemed fit enough to travel with the first team. Although there had been no playing time for them as yet at senior level, the experience in general can only have done the lucky few a world of good.

I was now a month away from sitting potentially the biggest exam of my life. If I passed, I'd be ready to embark on an adventure that would see my first venture into senior management. My mentor commented that he felt I was more than ready for this exam, and as long as I spent the next month preparing appropriately, I'd pass this with flying colours.

I suppose you could say I was feeling a little excited.

2nd December 2015

I was finally ready.

I got my results the day after the exam and from this day on, Josh Townend was now the proud holder of a UEFA B Licence in coaching.

I took a look at clubs in England from the Premier League to the National League North/South. I kept my job at Rotherham so that I didn't spend time out of a job.

At this point in time, there were only four jobs up for grabs. Not wanting to set a minimum for the lowest level I'd apply for, I sent my CV with a covering letter to all four clubs.

Those clubs were Brackley of the National League North, Hayes & Yeading of the National League South, Aldershot of the National League and Bury who sat rock bottom of League One.

The club that appealed to me most was Bury. Sure, I'd have to be patient and there's a chance they could get relegated, but it was a challenge I looked forward to and in my eyes, it was a club with bags of potential. It was also the nearest job geographically, which would make relocation easier.

The next job to take my fancy was the Aldershot Town job. The Shots had fallen a long way since their spell in the Football League and now sat in 22nd. I had been to Aldershot to see distant relatives on a few occasions and it's a town where the local population is massively behind its team. I thought if I could get the fans on my side, we'd soon be talk of the town.

Hayes & Yeading were the least likely of the four clubs to be relegated from their respective league, sitting in 20th. It's a small club with limitations aplenty, but I always prided myself on my ability to work with what I have at my disposal. It certainly wasn't going to be a walk in the park but I relish a challenge.

Brackley meanwhile, sat in 21st. Although competing in the Vanarama National League North, they're from down South, in between Northampton and Oxford. Again, this was a club fighting off relegation and it was a challenge I very much relished.

I sent off my applications and waited, meanwhile keeping an eye out for other employment at senior level.

Great to see you back with some quality updates! Some interesting offers there!

9th December 2015

I heard back from two of four clubs that I applied to. The first to contact me were Bury. They got in touch two days after I applied, telling me that although they appreciate what I have achieved in my coaching career, they weren't going to invite me to an interview as they were looking for someone with playing experience or senior management experience.

That was always going to be my downfall. I had no playing experience because for much of my life, I've been unable to bloody run. Still, I kept my chin out and held out for the other three. The Sunderland job became available, but I thought if I couldn't even get an interview at Bury, my application wouldn't even be read on Wearside.

The second club to contact me gave me a more positive response. It was Aldershot Town and they wanted me to attend an interview. They explained that the club was running on a shoe-string budget and that I would have to respect those limitations in my efforts to keep the club safe.

They were also a club that favoured signing young players rather than developing their own, so with that in mind, I sought to manage philosophy-free.

Fast forward to the 9th, and I was offered the job a week after applying for it. I drove down from Leeds bursting with self-pride and excitement before meeting the chairman, Shahid Azeem at the Recreation Ground on the edge of town.

I arrived at the club offices at 1pm, ready to meet my new boss in the boardroom. The boardroom overlooked the stadium, which looked pretty neat. Immediately below the window was the Main Stand. This ran the full length of the pitch and housed the tunnel and dugouts. To the left was the home end, known as the East Bank Terrace. This was a reasonably sized all-standing terrace, with an old-school barrel-shaped roof. Opposite the Main Stand sat the South Stand. This stand ran half the length of the pitch and sat astride the halfway line. It was slightly raised above the playing surface and all seated. There were also flat standing areas to either side- the away fans would occupy the left end. To the right sat the hastily constructed West Stand. This was an all-seater with just four rows. It ran from the corner flag on the near side to halfway across the goalmouth. Sitting on the far side of this end was a two-storey pre-fabricated building, which housed police control boxes.

Shahid arrived in the boardroom 15 minutes after my arrival. He firmly shook my hand and we got down to negotiating a contract.

"Welcome to Aldershot Town, Mr Townend. It's a pleasure to meet you" he said.

"Thanks, it's good to see you too and a pleasure to be here" I replied politely.

"We'll get down to negotiating a contract. How does £450 a week until the end of this season sound to you?" He asked.

"Would it be possible to round it up to £500 and extend the stay until the end of the 2016/17 season?" Was my response.

"Unfortunately that would cost too much, and the compensation should things not work out would be extortionate. You can have the £500 a week if you agree to keep it until the end of the season. If you perform well, we might be able to sort out an extension"

"I can see where you're coming from" I began, "but I'm having to relocate a long way and I'd like to make it worth my while. I'll lower my demands to £400 a week if you let me stay until the end of next season"

"That sounds fine. We finally have an agreement then!" He said, as he rubbed his hands together. "Just sign on the dotted line and from this day, you are the new manager at Aldershot Town Football Club. Welcome aboard!"

19th December 2015

The day had finally come. It was the day of my league debut as Aldershot Town manager. We had already played twice since my appointment, both coming against Weston-Super-Mare in the FA Trophy, a tie in which we eventually triumphed in the replay away from home.

I had also already made one strong move in the transfer window. I managed to bring in Australian goalkeeper Danijel Nizic from Burnley on a three-month loan deal. He's a promising young talent and someone I expect to see do a good job for us.

For the most part, I felt encouraged by the positive attitude shown by the players. One player in particular however, pushed my buttons immediately and was transfer-listed. On my first day in charge, I had a word with striker Charlie Walker. He wanted assurances that he would be playing first team football. Adamant that he should be guaranteed a start week in, week out, he was irate at my simple suggestion of working to earn his place and impress me. Because of his stinking attitude, he went straight on the list, I wasn't going to have selfish bastards like him playing under me.

I had been impressed with the eager-to-please attitude of 20-year-old winger/striker Rhys Browne. He had never made a senior appearance at any club until I arrived, and he put in two good shifts in the cup that led me to question why.

I was greeted by a buzz of anticipation as I approached the ground. Guiseley were in town, and their side contained several youngsters that I had worked with at Leeds, namely left-back Ben Parker and midfielders Zac Thompson, Gavin Rothery and Will Hatfield.

The turn out was low- just above the 1000 mark- but there was some decent noise being created in the ground during the run up to the game. I took pre-match training to excitable cheers from the home fans who were eager to see what the Shots could do in a league match.

This afternoon was going to see a relegation dog-fight between my lads who sat in 22nd and Guiseley who were bottom of the pile.

When I called the team into the dressing room for the team talk, I made my message simple.

"This club is only 23 years old, yet over a thousand people have turned up to watch you fight it out in the bottom four. I'm not saying take their breath away with a 40-yard piledriver, just work hard for each other and they'll all work hard for you.

They've got some very capable players out there. I should know because I coached a few of them when they were academy boys at Leeds. They're mainly a threat in the middle so that's where I want us to stop them from playing today"

Aldershot Town starting XI (4-3-3): Dan Nizic, Joe Oastler, Luke Oliver, Jack Savile, Sean McGinty (c), David Gonzalez, Jake Gallagher, Damon Lathrope, Dan Walker, Jake Fowler, Rhys Browne

Subs: Phil Smith, Will Butterwick, Jim Stevenson, Matthew Barnes-Homer, Omar Beckles

We started the game fairly strongly, getting some dangerous balls into the Guiseley penalty area that troubled their defence. We came close on ten minutes, when Jake Fowler nodded a Dan Walker cross narrowly wide of the goal.

After about fifteen minutes, Guiseley started in coming into the game, playing through their midfield hub. Zac Thompson seemed to be running the game from his central position, and his defence splitting pass on the twentieth minute found Parker on the left, whose low drilled cross skidded through the legs in the six-yard box before taking a deflection on its way out.

The visitors continued to press and Rothery was next to threaten with an effort from the edge of the box that clipped the bar on its way over.

We worked our way back into the game and got a head shortly after the half-hour mark. Dan Walker broke on the counter attack down the right before drilling a low cross into the area, converted brilliantly by Rhys Browne.

The tempo of the game died down after the opener and we went into half time a goal to the good.

After the break, Guiseley came at us with a high intensity style of football. Ben Parker was growing into the game and causing us problems down our right-hand side. He almost accidentally scored when a wayward cross had to be tipped over the bar by Nizic.

Our breaks were few and far between, and one particularly disappointing attack came when we hit Guiseley on the counter and forced a corner. The corner found the top of Jack Savile's head as the centre-half ballooned it harmlessly over the bar.

We were defending pretty well, we just couldn't break. Oastler was starting to find a way to deal with Parker and Zac Thompson was starting to tire.

But the pressure told with just eight minutes on the clock, when right-back Danny Hall's cross found the head of Will Hatfield. The midfielder's header smashed against the bar before substitute Wayne Brooksby appeared out of nowhere to hammer in the rebound.

It was a goal I was hoping wouldn't come, but one that Guiseley deserved for all their efforts in attack.

I tried to fight fire with fire by whacking the intensity up to full pace, but it was too little too late. We had thrown away two vital points in a relegation battle.

Aldershot Town (Rhys Browne 33) 1-1 Guiseley (Wayne Brooksby 82)
Att: 1,256

21st December 2015

I finally had the luxury of a week in between fixtures. I left my assistant, Chris Barker, to take training whilst I sorted out moving.

I had been living back with my folks for over a year now. The job at Rotherham didn't pay anywhere near as well as the one at Leeds so I couldn't really find anywhere appropriate to live, so I agreed with my parents that I could shack up with them until I get my managerial career off the ground.

That day had finally come and in the few days I had between the interview and the job offer, I found myself a nice little flat above a row of shops, a 5 minute walk down the road from the ground. There was a small bedroom-cum-living area in one room and a bathroom and kitchen separated by plasterboard in the other. The flat was already furnished so I didn't need to worry about the nightmare that is putting up flatpack furniture from IKEA.

On the Monday, I made the long 4-hour drive up to Leeds and stayed with my parents for one last night. We went out for a meal at Bella Italia on Briggate. My big brother was there as well, as part of a farewell party as I embarked on a new adventure 'darn sarf'.

Next it was on to Rotherham, where my old pal Neil Redfearn let me stay the night as a few players and members of staff from Rotherham United attended an event at the ground to see me off.

With my goodbyes said and the back of my Peugeot 207 packed with all my stuff, I was ready to make the move down to Aldershot on the Wednesday.

I unpacked everything that night and sat myself down in front of my TV with a four-pack of Fosters and a Dominos pizza, ready to kick back and relax.

I was finally an Aldershot citizen, home to not one, but two armies- the British Army and Josh Townend's Barmy Army.

24th December 2015

I rolled into work the following morning with a fresh feeling of optimism. We hadn't lost in the first three games I had taken charge of, and I had finally fully relocated from Leeds to Aldershot.

I sat down and began making a few notes ahead of our next match against Woking at home. I had just got a pen handy and my scout's report at the ready when the physio knocked on my door.

"Come in!" I shouted.

The physio eased into my office, and his facial expression showed he was feeling troubled about something. Given that he was a physio, I wasn't a fan of where this was going.

"Bad news, boss" he began "McGinty's twisted his knee. I've run a few scans on it and he's not going to be available for selection for three weeks"

This wasn't just bad news, it was terrible news. We didn't have a great deal of depth in the side, and Sean McGinty was our best left back. He was also our captain, and he was out for three weeks.

Injuries 1-0 Aldershot

Injuries 1-0 Aldershot

This is sad, but really nicely descriptive. I do enjoy your writing quite a bit.

2015-12-17 02:20#223156 tenthreeleader : Injuries 1-0 Aldershot

This is sad, but really nicely descriptive. I do enjoy your writing quite a bit.

Thanks man, great to have you reading along.


Same goes to all of you other readers out there, you've made this a pleasure to write so far.

25th December 2015

It was finally Christmas Day. No more shite adverts or bedlam on the high street. That viewpoint may sound cynical, but given my situation it was understandable.

As happy as I was to have this new start, this was going to be my first Christmas without Yvonne, and that was devastating. Luckily for me, I wasn't going to be on my own for Christmas, as my stepson and saint of the year Harvey came down on Christmas Eve.

He had rented a small van to bring both of our presents from family down in. I had some from my parents, distant relatives and mates from Beeston whilst Harvey had presents from his grandparents, uncles and aunties and my parents.

In a way it was nice to have him down just like old times. He didn't move out until he was 22 so he, Yvonne and I had some great Christmases together.

"Who have you got tomorrow?" He asked over Christmas Dinner.

It was nice to have him take an interest. I was so lucky to have him as a stepson, he was the driving force behind me getting back on track after his mother died.

"Woking at home" I replied. "It'll be our first real test after playing twice in the cup and the last game against the team the bottom"

"Where are they in the league?" He asked.

"Mid-table. Captain's out injured so my player/assistant manager is filling in. I'll get you a ticket if you've not got anything going on tomorrow"

"I'd like that" He replied. "It'll be good to see my old man in action"

That warmed my insides. To know that even though we're both grown men with just six years between us, he still saw me as his Dad.