@Admins: If you feel this should be in another forum, put it there and notify me, if you are OK with it, remove this Memo.
This will not be your standard story. Ill do it in my (in)famous Killymoon Style, although I will let this be readable without you people needing a therapist. If you'd like to be a co-author in an update (from another player's point of view), please PM me and Ill give the info needed
As this is my first entry in my diary with you, I feel like I should introduce myself a bit. You get to know me soon enough, I'd like to share my advantages on and off the pitch.
I'm Justin Case, the not so subtle, 1.85m tall center attacking midfielder from FC Groningen. Born in Groningen, Im more than happy to play for my team.
How I got my contract? Well, it's called having connections. A few phonecalls to Koeman, Robben en Heskey, and I earned my trial in the pre-season trainings. A bit overwhelmed, I went on my bike to the trainingfield, and I went there. 6 long distance goals, a broken leg by the defender on trial who tried to tackle me and a concussion by the goalie after he got a screamer from me on his head, I earned a 1 season contract as a rotation player.
Well Kitty, I see that Justice is calling me after he messaged me he doesnt want to be a chairman anymore, Im gonna hear him out.
See you soon and stay off the cigarettes
Great start there Michael!
Keep it up.
Dayumn. What a month. Although we had no pre-season friendlies (we got to play a few qualifying rounds for the Europa League) and we lost our first league match against Feyenoord, I was ON FI-RE.
First we got Harry Kane on loan, what a great fella. Him as target man, me just behind him chasing the gaps, we are working Miracles.
First we got the clash with Sarajevo. Kane couldnt wait to score, and I let me score my first goal for the club. With the simple 2-0 homewin we had a good perspective for the awaymatch. Kane couldnt wait to score again, and after that, I was feeling frisky. And the opponents couldnt handle me. I flew right, left and in the end I left the goalie crying after I scored a motherfricking hattrick. 6-0, and just 2 more rounds for the EL groupstage is ours.
1 round later it was against Petrolul. Again, Kane was quicker than Maradona on Coke to open the score, but after that we ran back too much. 2 goals later we faced a 1-2 at HT. The Coach was raging and fuming, screaming like hell and letting Satan look gaypink, so red and incomprehensible he went. After mockingly saying that I would fix it and downing my can of Monster Ripper, we went back on the field. and again, I was having a fieldday. I scored the 2-2, 3-2 and in the 88th minute Kane, that amazing lad, gave me the PK for my second hattrick in a row.
The return was hell. 30 minutes in we were 2-0 behind, our defence was like shit. and not the relieving kind after a 3 hour ride, no the diarrheakind you get when having a hangover and your body feels sick. 2nd half we went 3-0 behind and we felt the game slipping until Kane shot on goal from 25m and scored. And from that moment we pushed on. We wanted to go through and 1 goal was enough. In the 93rd minute I got the ball in front of me after a pinball-like scramble and I went all or nothing. A goal, 3-2 and through!
3 days after that we faced Feyenoord. The whole team was tired from Petrolul and we didnt stood a chance. We lost 3-1, I managed to put one behind Vermeer who looked like he could hang himself after not keeping the clean sheet.
Gotta go, LFC is asking me to play FIFA, I think I can take him.
Any chance of some screenshots?
The wanted screen
After an Amazing month, we had some rough patches. The Dynamic Duo Kane and Case cant do anything on our own. This month is nothing less of dramatic, with just 1 positive point.
First of all, what an absolutely dramatic goalie do we have. He is called Padt, but he sure isnt on the right Path. 6 goals against in just 5 matches. Maybe we should get Tyrion Lannister on goal. Despite his size I suspect he will get more clean sheets, as Padt just got 1. And that was against the worst team of them all.
Kane did his best and won the first league game for us with the 1-0, thats all about the positive things which can be said about the game. In the 3rd leaguegame against Willem II he scored, but the referee said no goal. being behind with 0-1 and in the 88th minute I couldnt control myself. The papers did a lipread which was on point: You worthless afterbirth of an assraped zika-mosquito, why dont you let your eyes checked out by the same ventriloquist who put his hand so deep up your arse you needed surgery to get him out. He didnt took that lightly and gave me yellow for disrespect. 4th leaguematch was a 1-2 loss too, I did score but it wasnt enough.
the only positive thing this month was not losing in the EL. In the last qualifying round we got Inter Milan. Away we got behind 0-1, went in front 2-1 due to goals by first Kane and then me, and that grabbling goalie of us let slip one past him to have a 2-2 FT. At Home we had a decent start, but no goals. In the 55th minute we went in front 1-0, after Kane scored the goal from a pass by me, and the coach went Park the Bus Mourinho style with a 5311. all went well, until minute 82. I think that we should put superglue on the gloves of our goalie as he let it slip again for a 1-1, and those last 8+6 minutes were the toughest so far. But we got through towards the EL, so we partied until late at night.
Tango is snapchatting me dickpics again, his ou-of-the-box way to flirt, so Ill speak to you later.
After the absolute horrible month last month, I finally got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we got through in the cup, the bad news is that I saw Lewie in Lederhosen.
We had just 3 leaguematches this month, first at home against Excelsior. Kane was doing his blitzkrieg again with an early 1-0 by a pass by me, and he gave me the 2-0 by setting me one-on-one. The 3rd was a nice cross from the right side, with Kane scoring a header.
After that we had our first EL match against Wolfsburg. And what a crazy match it was. 2-0 in front (Kane and Kane), and I got subbed because I needed to take a shit really badly. Kane scored a 3rd from the penalty spot, and 7 minutes later Woldsburg got a penalty which they scored. Gustavo couldnt handle my swearing towards him, tried to hit me and got send off. But the first win is in.
Second league match of this month was against FC Twente, and I was injured (a sprained wrist after playing to mutch WoW and LoL with Levz) so Kane decided it for us after defender Bjelland got red for kicking Kane from behind. Just a poor 1-0, but hey, a win is a win.
I was available again in the cupmatch against IJsselmeervogels. And this was a match for me with ups and downs. My first penalty was missed because I saw Alex in a borat string behind the goal, I scored the 1-0 7 minutes later, I missed my second penalty because InfraRed decided to go streaking and taking a piss against the post and I couldnt decide which target to hit, but I made it ok with my 2-0.
3 leaguematch and last match of this month was away against FC Dordrecht. Nothing really special happened. We were just relaxed, playing the ball on own half with 73 percent possession, and from the 3 shots Kane took, he scored 2.
Kane and me are printed on the teamsheet before the trainer puts the other names on. he scored 12, I scored 15, of the total 30 goals of our team.
Gotta go, I see Stam has posted new pics of his baby on Instagram
Great start to the story pal...
I must say, October has never been sweeter for us. I may have not been on my best, but with Verratti as the new guy and cleaner behind me, we won all but 1 game .
We started of this month with a match against Kosice in the EL. Ko-who you say? Exactly what I was thinking. They got of like a rocket and landed the 1-0 in just 34 seconds. after that it costed us 30 minutes to find the goal. I got 2 pk in just 7 minutes time, both converting them, gives us a 2-1 lead at HT. in the second half Kane couldnt stay behind and he scored 2, and giving one to our rightwinger, making us win the Match.
After that we met AZ, and got behind by a PK. I played as a midfielder, setting up the chances for Kane, as AZ put up a formidable defence. at HT we were still behind, and we got a surprise visit in the locker room. Heskey, along with his dog, came and gave a strong inspiring speech. And so Kane and I decided to put our game up a notch and I gave 2 assists towards Harry and we won 2-1.
Having a very busy scedule, we almost couldnt handle it. Against the red lantern in our division we had a hard time attacking, and it took us to the 88th minute until new Guy Verratti finally set us free.
After that we needed to fly to Israel. we needed a emergency stop in Greece because 2 guys decided they wanted to join the Mile High Club. After arriving we heard it was Leonardi di Caprio with some guy named Tello. The match itself was quite a runaround. Engels scored the opening goal for us, they equalised and Engels headed its second goal just before HT. Verratti started the second half with a screamer from 30m, and Kane decided the match with 4-1 and the 4-2 from them just before time didnt matter.
Our only pointspill was due to verratti. in the 13th minute he got a direct red card, and PEC Zwolle scored the PK. After that we defended just to not lose bigger and hope on a counterattack. And that counterattack finally Came by Case and Kane, letting Kane score the equaliser and grabbing a point away from home.
Last match of this month was a Cupmatch against AZ, who were determined to give us a run around for our money, having lost from us 3 weeks ago. And again, they got a PK, and they scored, having us seek for the win again. It just seems we needed to get woken up before we play. just before HT Verratti pulled a rabbit out of the bag, scoring a FK, and taunting the goalie by saying that the crap he took before the match. In the second half I decided it was enough. I wouldnt let AZ, the neighboors of Ajax win from us in the cup. With a run from own half, passing 6 playing, rounding the keeper with a rainbow flick I scored what maybe is the best goal in my young career, winning the game.
Looking that we playing on 3 fronts, we are doing quite well. Second in the league, just behind PSV, 1st in our EL poule and still in the cup, we are beyond expectations.
Hey, I gotta run. Griffo says he has the photos of the planearrests of Tello, I got to see them.
see ya soon
Interesting story xD. I love the part u talk about me hahaa