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The Kis-s of Death

The Timmy-less Adriatic Adventure
Started on 28 April 2016 by Akash
Latest Reply on 5 May 2016 by ScottT

The Kis-s of Death

A long time ago, when this forum had stories that were just an account of the results, signings and competition victories rather than the professionally written masterpieces we see now (Kudos to everyone!), there was a story that made us laugh, cry and seriously question our writing/blogging abilities while we stood and applauded the genius.

Tbendis' The Adriatic Adventure for FM13 still remains one of my favourite stories on FMScout. So, when I finally felt like getting back to Football Manager 16 and starting a new save, there was only one team I wanted to choose:

Unfortunately, the man, the myth, the legend from that save, Tomislav Kis, has just left Hajduk Split but that doesn't matter; we'll find ourselves a new hero!
Looking forward to this, good luck in your endeavors!
Good luck mate!
Good luck in making Hadjuk world-beaters
A new hero? I like the sound of that! Good luck mate. :)
Ooo this looks cool. Good luck! :)
@Justice, @Griffo, @Live For FM, @C.J. Lippo and @ScottT, thank you! :)


Buric's Phone Call

1st July, 2015

I was initially quite certain this was a prank call. Buric and I have not been the best of friends - more 'nod-when-you-pass' than 'hug-and-talk' kind of friends, so to receive a call like this seemed a bit fishy. However, on reading articles and talking to Croatian experts (internet people!), it all checks out - The man needs saving and he wants me to do it.

Last month, Buric took over a Croatian club with a lot of history, Hajduk Split; this was his first job as a football manager. As his first act as manager, the 51 year old stripped the club of some of its best players in an attempt to establish his own core group. Unfortunately for him, the club's financial conditions did not improve as much as he had expected and it has put the historic club in a spot of bother - both in terms of personnel and finances. On the eve of his 1st month-i-versary as the manger of the club, the former Barcelona player decided to sell Tomislav Kis, who many at the club believed to be the next best thing in Croatian football for just about 1/10th of what fans and the board would've expected. Protests and petitions followed immediately after, leading to Buric's phonecall to me; he had been sacked by the board but given the opportunity to pick a temporary successor to clean up his mess.

I have had the required badges for a few years now; I knew I wanted to be a manager well before my career ended. The thing I forgot was - if you don't make full use of your 15 minutes of fame, no one will remember you. As I rejected any and every contract to be a part of the SKY and Premier League broadcast, the public's memory faded; I became a footnote in an ever-growing anthology called football. When I announced I was open to managing a team in Europe, the only response I got was 'get-in-line'. So, a chance to rebuild Hajduk Split and save the club, or simply get my name out there again is why I answered Buric's phone call. It's selfish but it's what comes with managing a brand.

As I take my seat on the airplane, a surprisingly hairy baby begins singing the song of his people - there's tears and screaming and howling - as this part-human, part-wolf indicates just how smooth my next 12 months in Croatia are going to be. I was probably Buric's tenth phone call, I'm thinking to myself; surely he called close friends, ex-teammates and other Croatian managers before he called me to take over his job. What's worse, Buric would've only been allowed to pick a replacement if the board were out of options as well. This means I was probably the 34th or 35th pick to manage Hajduk Split; no one wanted to touch this job. Maybe I should've considered just what I was saying 'yes' to.

As I walk out of the aircraft, I'm greeted by about 50 fans, who wear Hajduk scarfs and carry banners - not too bad. I wasn't expecting a red carpet and was secretly hoping I wouldn't be greeted to silence, so a bunch of true, passionate fans of the club is relatively good. I'm happy to be in Split, that is until they start singing:

"Are you Buric in disguise?"

The mother of the werewolf translates it for me, as the kid looks at me, far too pleased about it. I can do nothing more than fake a wide smile and walk briskly towards the car waiting for me at the exit.
Great start man
Great start, was also nice to get some insight into why you chose Hajduk, best of luck!
Great writing!
@MJK46, @BackPostHeader and @Griffo, appreciate your comments, guys!


Getting Into Management

2nd July 2015
One day into my tenure as manager and one day before the start of the team's Europa League campaign, I am walking towards the training ground, only to be stopped by the Director of the club, Jako Andabak - The players will manage themselves. We need to talk about something more important. Besides, they'll do a better job with the coaches than with you.

I am told I am being advised about my role as manager by someone who cares for the club and me but it feels like Andabak is telling me what he and the rest of the board expect; there is zero room for negotiation, discussion or concern. The expectations for the season are set:

  • Get to the Europa League Playoff but try for the Group Stage
  • Qualify for Europe via league position
  • Do not spend any money in the transfer market

To be fair, the expectations aren't too unrealistic and are understandable. The club needs money and the Croatian league isn't popular enough to be a cash cow, which means focus needs to be on Europe to fix the financial problems the club is in. I wouldn't dream of digging into the transfer market right now, considering what happened to the last man who tried but even if I wanted to, no one would want to come to Hajduk because of the lack of wage budget we have. Nothing at the club seems unreasonable, except the hostility from all corners. For the Director of the club to speak to the manager with such disgust should be unacceptable but I clearly cannot command the respect at this club that I believe I should be. If I can't do it through my name or my tag, I will have to do it through the games we play.

As a parting gift, Andabak tells me both Susic and Maloku want to leave the club immediately and that I have to find a way to keep them both here. On speaking to them, it's clear why they want to leave; Susic thinks his career will move backwards staying at a club that is moving in the wrong direction, while Maloku is getting offers from the Premier League, offering him a wage we simply cannot compete with. I tell them both I will consider their requests but I have no intention of letting them go - the former is one of our key players, while the latter could very well be the future. It's only a matter of time before they realize they've been tricked into staying and I'm hoping their discontent doesn't spread to the rest of the club.

We face Latvian side, FC Skonto Riga, in the Europa League 1st Qualifying Round, where we're heavy favourites but as I look on from the dugout during training, the team looks deflated, bored and unprofessional. This is going to be a long season!
Good luck in Europa
Good luck mate, think your objectives are more than achievable!
Pretty grim feel about the club atm, hopefully you can turn their fortunes around & get them moving in the right direction.

Fantastically written by the way, loving it!

You are reading "The Kis-s of Death".

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