Champions of Europe (sort of)

As any keen follower of English football will tell you (particularly folk from West Yorkshire), Don Revie assembled an all-conquering side at Elland Road, that terrified opponents both domestically and on a continental stage.

In goal, Gary Sprake and later on, David Harvey.

At the back, 'Speedy' Paul Reaney, 'Big' Jack Charlton and 'Ironman' Norman Hunter.

In the middle, Peter 'Hotshot' Lorimer, Billy Bremner, Paul Madeley and Eddie 'The Last Waltz' Gray.

Up top, Johnny Giles, Mick Jones and Alan 'Sniffer' Clark

These players- not necessarily all in a 3-4-3- would go on to win the First Division title thrice, the Intercities Fairs Cup (the Europa League) twice, the League Cup, the FA Cup and the Charity Shield. Adored by their supporters, hated by others, known as 'Dirty Leeds' for their physical style of play, a moniker the fans still revel in to this day.

Brian Clough was the team's main critic. He was the manager of Derby County whilst he was taking shots at Revie's Leeds side, and the nation seemed to take the side of Mr Clough. In a shocking turn of events, Clough took the role vacated by Revie, who had taken the England job, in the summer of 1974. However, on this occasion, he was without Peter Taylor, his right-hand man at Derby, who had taken an offer from Brighton & Hove Albion.

Nevertheless, he took on the role, claiming- at least according to novel-turned-film The Damned United- that he wouldn't rest until he'd taken everything Don Revie had achieved and beaten it. His rivalry with Don Revie and his criticism of the team didn't sit well with the players, and he lost his job after just 44 days in charge.

Blackpool legend Jimmy Armfield took on the job, and despite a rocky start to the season (under Clough), Armfield managed to guide Leeds United to their first ever European Cup (Champions League) final in 1975. It remains a largely underrated achievement- to this day, for all Revie's success with the team, Armfield was the man who came closest to winning the one trophy that evaded Don Revie.

The Wilderness

After defeat to Bayern Munich under rather controversial circumstances in the 1975 Paris final, Leeds slipped into the wilderness. They won no more trophies and reached no more finals before being relegated to the Second Division in 1982.

Former Leeds United captain Billy Bremner brought the club close to a return to the top flight, but his team was toppled in the 1986 playoffs. A year later, he took the club to the FA Cup semi-final, where they took Coventry City to extra time, before losing 3-2.

The Class of 92

Howard Wilkinson would be the next man to take the baton, he took the job from Billy Bremner who was sacked in 1988. 'Sergeant Wilko' went about an intense rebuild, in which all reminders of the Revie era were removed from the ground until the club got its act together and moved on. Leeds were promoted as champions in 1990, and would go on to win the First Division for a fourth time in 1992, the last season before the inaugural season of the Premier League.

Leeds couldn't follow up the initial success achieved under Wilkinson, and after a period of treading water, Wilkinson lost his job in 1995. He was replaced by George Graham, who largely improved the team, and nurtured new Ghanaian striker Tony Yeboah, known best for his strikes against Wimbledon and Liverpool.

Young Guns

Having brought in Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink to replace the outgoing Yeboah and having brought fresh young talent to the club, Graham left to take on the Tottenham job in 1998. He was succeeded by his assistant, Dermot O'Leary.

O'Leary would be responsible for handing first team opportunities to the likes of Harry Kewell, Alan Smith, Jonathan Woodgate, Stephen McPhail and Lee Bowyer. O'Leary's young guns- combined with astute signings such as Michael Bridges and Mark Viduka- would challenge the big boys at the top and were rewarded with Champions League football for their 4th placed finish in 2000, the club's first appearance in Europe for 25 years.

The club battled bravely as underdogs, and got results against the likes of Real Madrid, AC Milan, Lazio and Deportivo La Coruna, to name but a few. The bold run in Europe eventually saw the club reach the semi-final, where they were knocked out by Valencia.

Encouraged by this, the club spent money on trying to reach those heights again, having narrowly missed out on re-qualification. Finishing in 5th in 2002, the club once again failed to reach the Champions League, and the financial pressure was telling.

Financial Shitstorm

O'Leary lost his job that summer, and Terry Venables was brought in, charged with keeping the team's performance stable on the pitch, whilst players were sold left, right and centre on it. Rio Ferdinand, who the club signed for a record £18m in 2000, became the club's record sale, as he left for arch rivals Manchester United for £30m.

Other departures during the 2002/03 included Lee Bowyer and Jonathan Woodgate, who Venables was promised wouldn't be sold. The side continued to falter, and finished 15th, narrowly avoiding relegation. A killer blow was delivered in the summer of 2003 when Harry Kewell dpearted for Liverpool.

Left with the broken remains of a talented squad, new manager Peter Reid sought to build for stability through loan signings. The likes of Lamine Sakho, Zoumara Camara, (Brazilian World Cup winner) Roque Junior and Jermaine Pennant were unable to help Leeds avoid relegation, and the club slipped into the Championship in 2004.

The remainder of the Champions League side was sold off that summer, with Paul Robinson leaving for Tottenham, Dominic Matteo leaving for Blackburn, Mark Viduka leaving for Middlesbrough and the most sickening blow, Alan Smith leaving for Manchester United. Recently emerged James Milner also departed, for Newcastle United.

The Championship Part I

The club came down to the Championship with £100m of debt, and avoided administration through the sale of the ground, training facilities and the club itself to insolvency expert Gerald Krasner.

The club was sold to controversial ex-Chelsea owner Ken Bates in 2005, much to the frustration of the Leeds fans. On the pitch, Kevin Blackwell had done well to keep the club in mid-table after having to build a side from scratch, with all parachute payments being spent on paying off debt.

After a season of consolidation in 2005, Kevin Blackwell's Leeds made a promotion push in 2006, losing 3-0 to Watford in the playoff final. The club under-performed badly the following season, and slipped into the third tier of English football for the first time in the club's history in 2007.
,
With most of the club's best players (at least from the 2005/06 season) being bought with money the club still owed, the club went into administration that summer. *This is where my understanding of the situation gets cloudy* Ken Bates bought the club back from the administrators, but the club were hit with a 15-point deduction for a breach of takeover rules.

League One

Under Dennis Wise, the 15 point deduction was smashed, with 5 consecutive wins at the beginning of the season. Wise left for Newcastle in January 2008, and Gary McAllister, member of the Howard Wilkinson Class of '92, took the job. Leeds continued to fight valiantly, but were beaten in the 2008 playoff final, a game they wouldn't have had to play without the 15 point sanction.

The team stalled on the pitch shortly before the halfway point of the 2008/09 season, and former academy graduate and local lad Simon Grayson took the job during Christmas of 2008. He lasted four years, winning promotion in 2010 and narrowly missing out on the Championship playoffs the following year.

Ken Bates is a bit of a dick

Lack of investment saw the likes of Jonny Howson, Neil Kilkenny, Max Gradel and Jermaine Beckford replaced with Michael Brown, Mika Vayrynen (yeah, who?), Darren O'Dea and Mikael Forssell.

Astonished by the lack of results the has-beens were producing, Ken Bates dismissed Grayson in February 2012, replacing him with Neil Warnock. 'Colin' promised a team built in his image that could fight for promotion.

Colin Wanker

By February, top scorer Luciano Becchio had been sold to Norwich, and quite frankly, watching Lee Peltier hoof the ball up to the shortest man on the pitch (Ross McCormack) was getting pretty fucking tiresome. 'Colin' insisted that hoof ball was the way to go, despite Ross Barkley sitting on the bench whilst Michael Brown really took the piss in the 'Dirty Leeds' stakes.

Run by a Psychopath with " Marked Criminal Tendencies"

Colin finally fucked off in April 2013 and was replaced by common sense in former Reading boss Brian McDermott. McDermott would get the best out of Ross McCormack, before a crazy, sociopathic, crooked and to put it charitably, completely fucking deranged lunatic took over the club in 2014. (Date unknown, he claimed to own the club in January and attempted to sack McDermott. He was chased around the Elland Road car park by an angry mob and swiftly reinstated our bald hero. The Football League didn't approve him as an owner until April).

Brian lost his job (again) in the summer of 2014, and was replaced by former Forest Green Rovers boss (former because they were almost relegated from the fucking Conference) and half-man/half-testacle, Dave Hockaday. 'The Hock' failed to see out August and was sacked after six games in charge.

Sturm Graz hero Darko Milanic would be the next to attempt to keep his job for more than two minutes, but failed miserably. He was axed in November. Academy Manager and to a large extent, one of few sane people in charge, Neil Redfearn was appointed in Milanic's place.

Him and his wife- who also worked in the academy- were consistently undermined by Cellino, even when the mad bastard was banned for being a mad bastard, yet Redfearn managed to get the best out of the likes of Lewis Cook, Alex Mowatt, Charlie Taylor and Sam Byram.

Redfearn was sacked without any real reason- or contact for that matter- in the summer and was replaced by Uwe Rosler. Rosler will be remembered for recruiting Stuart Dallas and Chris Wood, but also for having a woeful home record. Because of Cellino's record with managers, few wanted to see Rosler go, but had it been at any normal club, he would have been sacked anyway.

Next on Massimo's 'list of death' was rotund, red-faced teletubby Steve Evans (formerly of Rotherham). Evans had an admirable record and guided the club to 13th. Evans would also receive the silent treatment, as Cellino dabbled in attempts to bring Darrell Clarke and then Karl Robinson to the club, both of whom declined because they weren't prepared to work with a complete fucking idiot.

The Future

Garry Monk was next to step in the gallows. However, he wouldn't be dismissed- by Cellino, at least. This was made sure of when baby-faced saviour and Italian media mogul Andrea Radrizzani took over the club, thus ridding it of that cancerous bastard and Verne Troyer (don't ask).

So this is where the club stands now. The story of Leeds United could only be written by the likes Roald Dahl (or in the case of the past 12 years, Stephen King). Garry Monk, will start the 2016/17 season in the Elland Road dugout, hoping that he's seen the last of the horrors that have imposed themselves on LS11. What's the next chapter of the completely unpredictable book that is Leeds United?

A great in depth start man, should be a good story and will be great to see where it goes! Didn't know the presenter of X Factor had managed Leeds before though

2017-05-22 21:30#242840 mgriffin2012 : A great in depth start man, should be a good story and will be great to see where it goes! Didn't know the presenter of X Factor had managed Leeds before though

Oops just realised that. Was meant to be David O'Leary

I'm Josh Townend. I'm 41 years old (yes dear, I'm writing another FM story) and had a playing career spanning from 1992 to 2013. Pundits and fans alike were astounded that I was never capped for England (believe me, they're not alone).

I started at Farsley Celtic, having pushed through the junior sides to play in the open age team at just 15 years old. In the summer of '92, I was approached by Huddersfield Town, then in Division Two.

I made 110 appearances in four years for the Terriers and scored 45 goals, before Bradford City came calling. By this point, both sides were in the same league, and I'll never forget the stick I got for joining Town's local rivals.

I stuck around for another four years, achieving promotion in '99 and survival in 2000. My 115 appearances and 52 goals earned me my first move out of West Yorkshire, as I joined Everton for £3m.

I played out my peak at the Toffees, making 175 appearances and scoring 102 goals in five years, taking me to the big three-oh in 2005. I took a free transfer to relegated Southampton, in the hope I'd be back in the Premier League in a year.

I wasn't. I wouldn't be the type to get itchy and leave, so I stuck it out until relegation to League One in 2009. I played a year in the third tier, but I was too old to be able to play any higher.

After being released on a free transfer, I took a move to Rochdale. I celebrated promotion with the Dale in 2010, but took a free transfer to the Conference in 2011, following the club's relegation.

In the 2011/12 season, I turned out for Wrexham on a one-year deal, before taking up a player/coach role the following season at Bradford Park Avenue.

I left the Avenue after retirement in 2013, and took up an academy role at Southampton. I was promoted to U23s manager at the start of last season, and I've held the role until the present day.

Today started with me choking on my cereal. My phone screen displayed the following tweet from Phil Hay at the Yorkshire Evening Post:

BREAKING: Leeds United have parted company with head coach Garry Monk.

Followed by this:

Monk's departure sees Leeds in 19th, 6 points above safety, following Saturday's 2-0 defeat at Brighton

Monday 12th December 2016


Leeds United have announced this morning that they have parted company with head coach, Garry Monk. The former Swansea City captain was relieved of his duties in the wake of Saturday's 2-0 defeat against Brighton & Hove Albion at the AMEX Stadium.

Although this does little to buck a trend set by former owner Massimo Cellino, this could have been anticipated by many who had expected Leeds to achieve a top half finish this year. As it stands, the Whites are currently sat in 19th place, just six points above safety. United have also picked up just four points from their last five games.

As the search for Leeds United's next manager continues, assistant manager Pep Clotet will take the reins as the club's caretaker manager. Clotet was hired in June at the request of Garry Monk, whom he worked with at Swansea City. He will take charge of his first game tomorrow, when Reading visit Elland Road.

As ever, there are a host of names being linked with the vacant job, with former Aston Villa boss Roberto Di Matteo being named as the favourite by SkyBet, at 2/1. Other candidates included recently departed Preston manager and Leeds' 2010 promotion winning manager, Simon Grayson (5/1); Scotland boss and captain of the 1992 Championship winning side, Gordon Strachan (9/1); and among the outsiders is former Huddersfield Town and Bradford City striker Josh Townend (30/1), who retired with Bradford Park Avenue in 2013 and is currently manager of the under-23s at Southampton, where he played between 2005 and 2010.

I parked my car outside Beeston McDonalds, on a bitterly cold Tuesday morning. There was frost everywhere, and a member of staff looked visibly frozen as he undertook a routine litter pick in the car park.

I looked across the road at the City of Leeds' most recognisable landmark. Heading off to the right was the giant cream-clad East Stand. Heading off to the left was the South Stand, and like the rest of the ground, it was dwarfed by the East Stand. In the foreground was a long building protruding out the South East Corner, the club shop. In front of that was a statue of a diminutive red-headed figure. It was the first of two statues erected on the site, it was of Billy Bremner, wee Billy, Leeds' number 4.

I strode towards a ground that held so many memories for me. I stood on the Lowfields terrace on the East side of the ground when we won promotion in 1990 and the title 1992. I'd had a season ticket on the Lowfields since I was 5 years old until I was offered my first professional contract at 17.

I had only been to the ground a handful of times since, a few as an opposing player and a few as a fan since my retirement in 2013. So much has changed since my last match on the Lowfields. It was fitting that the old Lowfields came down in the same summer that I could no longer attend Leeds matches.

The steps that made up the terracing still remain, they make up the bottom half of the East Stand lower tier. Having only been in the Kop since the death of the Lowfields, this would be my first time in any part of the 'new' East Stand.

The entrance to the club's offices protruded out from the centre on the East facade, clad in brick with the club badge sat proudly on the front. I took a deep breath as I stood at the top of the steps that led down to the reception below ground level.

I headed down towards the reception. As I hadn't played at Leeds' level since 2010, nobody really recognised my face, as they might with a recognisable manager with experience, or a higher profile ex-player.

It had been a childhood dream to have the opportunity to play for Leeds United. As I hadn't had that opportunity during my playing career, I was more than happy to take the next best thing, a seat in the dugout.

"Mr Radrizzani is ready for you now. Level 4 boxes, he'll meet you at the lift" said the receptionist.

I stood in the lift and headed up to Level 4. As I'd been told, Andrea Radrizzani was waiting for me when I got there. He looked at me with a big beaming smile and firmly shook my hand.

This all felt quite surreal. I was about to be interviewed for not only my dream job, but one of the biggest jobs in English football.

We sat down at a table in a box on the halfway line. I took a moment to admire the view. Of the elderly West Stand opposite, built in 1957. Of the old school Kop to my right, built in 1968. And of the small South Stand to my left, built in 1974.

We each took a sip of water before Mr Radrizzani began the interview.

"So Josh, I'm told you're a lifelong supporter of this club. How would you cope with the pressure of managing a club so close to your heart?"

That was an easy one. I love this club to bits, but no level of sentimentality was going to stand in the way of me doing what is right for Leeds United.

"I'm a football man first and foremost. I've been in this game long enough to know that there is no room for sentiment in the modern game. I never let my heart rule my head and I will always do what is right for this club"

He made a slight smile in the corner of his mouth and began to scribble some notes down.

"And erm, why should we hire a manager with no senior managerial experience?"

Another easy one.

"Don Revie had no managerial experience when he took the job here, but we have a statue of him outside the ground. David O'Leary had only been an assistant manager before he took charge, but he was the last man to manage us in Europe. If you have the passion and commitment for the game that I have, you can succeed regardless of experience. And what better place for me to attach myself to from the get-go than the club I where I was a season ticket holder as a kid?"

Mr Radrizzani wore the look of an intrigued man. He was probably thinking it was quite ambitious, if not audacious, for me to compare myself to two of this club's greatest managers. He could see my heartfelt passion for Leeds United, so he swiftly moved on to:

"As you are well aware, the last manager didn't last long. Do you believe you can fare differently?"

"Absolutely. It's my ambition to commit to a long-term project at this club. I want to be remembered as either the man who laid the foundations for Premier League football, or the man who delivered and sustained it"

"Brilliant. In our view, football should be played beautifully. Pass, pass, pass. Is this something you'd be willing to do?"

This was a difficult question. I didn't want to commit to possession football, but at the same time, I really wanted this job. Then I had a thought. If I can deliver this possession style of play successfully, I'll either grow to love it or the board will allow me greater flexibility with the playing style.

"Sure" I said. "I'm sure we have players capable of keeping the ball so I don't see any reason why not"

This seemed to at least appeal to Mr Radrizzani.

"As you are aware, we're at a point where there is plenty of football to be played. In that time we'd ideally like to see the team push towards mid-table. Can you do that?" he asked me.

"Well it's not impossible by any means" I replied. "As you said, there is plenty of football left to be played and all these players need is belief and to enjoy their football"

"What staff changes, if any, would you make?"

"I'd like to at least have a budget in place for staff changes. I need to appraise them properly and then I'll give a bit of thought about who stays and who goes"

Mr Radrizzani stood up and smiled. I he gestured for me to stand up and follow him out of the box and into the seats overlooking the pitch.

"You're a great man, Josh" he said. "And I know how much this club means to you. I've lived here since summer, and all around Leeds I hear people saying how much the city needs a Premier League team"

"It does" I said to him. "It's not going to be easy, but once this club has someone that gets Leeds, it stands half a chance", which to me was a hint to Mr Radrizzani that I'm his man.

He straightened up and said "Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you, and I wish you the best of luck in this selection process"

"Thank you very much for the opportunity" I said to him. "I'm sure one way or another, this club will be back where it belongs"

As I drove away from the famous old ground, I couldn't help but get the feeling that the conversation went from professional to personal really fast. I hoped that this was a good thing.

Great in depth interview man, and really good back story this story is going to go places I can feel it!

2017-05-23 21:40#242895 mgriffin2012 : Great in depth interview man, and really good back story this story is going to go places I can feel it!

Cheers mate, been off the novel style stories for a year or so, but it feels good to be back at it!

Sunday 1st January 2017, 9pm

A few weeks had passed since my interview. On my last visit, we had been held 1-1 at home to Brentford, in our last fixture before Christmas.

I say our because I've been in this family for 41 years. I witnessed heartbreak as a kid, watching us slip into the Second Division in 1982, followed by euphoria with the successes of 1990 and 1992.

I had been invited to Thorp Arch to assess the staff on Friday, and concluded in my evaluation that the scouting team wasn't up to scratch, in terms of numbers and ability. I also decided that Neil Sullivan, our goalkeeper in the 2006 playoff campaign and at this point our under-18 goalkeeping coach, was wasted on the youngsters. Having expert tuition for the kids is great, but we didn't have a really good goalkeeping coach for the senior squad.

My changes therefore would be to part company with Terry Potter and Andrea Iore (the full extent of the scouting team) as well as Darryl Flahavan. I would have had no issue with keeping Darryl around for the younger teams, but he had no interest in this so he had to go. Neil Sullivan would be promoted to first team goalkeeping coach.

As that was only recently, I had no idea when to expect the call if I got the job. I was still recovering from my New Year's hangover when I had a call on my phone. I recognised the area code instantly. To anyone from the right side of the Pennines, it's common knowledge that '0113' is a Leeds number.

"Hello?" I said trying to sound as unhungover as possible, hoping upon hope it was the call I'd been dreaming of.

"Am I speaking to Mr Townend?" said a soothing Italian voice.

"You are, who's speaking please?" I replied, as if I didn't recognise the voice.

"It's Andrea Radrizzani, owner of Leeds United"

"Oh, hello" I said, blushing under the belief I was about to hear the news I wanted to hear.

"Hi, we've decided you're the man for the job. Can you make it to Elland Road by 10am tomorrow morning to discuss a contract?"

10am, on the morning of Rotherham at home. Leeds is a four-and-a-half-hour drive from Winchester, where I resided to work in my role at Southampton. I'd have to be up mega early and prepared to take charge of tomorrow's game. But this is what I had always wanted. There was no such thing as an impracticality when it came to taking the Leeds job.

"I'll be up there for 10am, not a second later"


I woke up the following morning at 4am. It took a good ten minutes to come around so early in the morning. By the time I was ready to go, it was quarter to five. I figured this still gave me time to book a hotel for a week, so that I had somewhere to stay in Leeds whilst the logistics were arranged.

I booked a room for a week at a Premier Inn, near the Porsche garage on the ring road and a 10 minute walk to Elland Road. With a few belongings hastily packed, I fired up my Peugeot 207 hatchback and was hurtling 'oop North' towards Leeds.

I came off the M1 and onto the M621 at 9:30. The M621 took me past the city centre, with Bridgwater Place standing out as a beacon for returning Leeds sons like myself. It wasn't long before I was turning off at my spiritual home, Elland Road.

I nipped into McDonalds for something to eat as I had time to spare and a gaping hole in my stomach to fill. You could never go wrong with a double sausage and egg McMuffin with a hash brown.

As I headed towards the ground, Mr Radrizzani stood outside the East Stand reception, grinning from ear to ear.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr Radrizzani" I said as I approached him.

"Please, call me Andrea" he replied, "or Andy, if you like" he said with a chuckle. "Shall we go to the box? It's bloody freezing out here"

Bless him, getting to grips with British slang.

We headed up to the executive box on Level 4 where he had interviewed me. We sat an negotiated for no longer than 2 minutes.

The original offer was £390,000 per annum until June 2019, two and a half years from now. I wanted a longer contract and asked if we could extend it by a year. Although this wasn't greeted particularly well, I offered to work for *only* £260,000 p/a if I could have a three-and-a-half-year deal.

After all, £260,000 p/a was still around five times more than what I currently earned, it's not as if I need the money. I wanted the job and I wanted it for as long as I could get.

"Welcome to Leeds United Josh" said Andrea, still beaming.

"Thanks Andrea, can't wait to get started!" That felt so cheesy to say, but I honestly couldn't give a shit. I was the new face of Leeds United and I was going to revel in it.

"I'll text the players and let them know you're here, and that they're to be at the ground for 11:30" he said. It looked for all the world as if I would be taking charge of the Rotherham match.

I guess now that I've set the story up to begin, I should tell you a little about myself. The team's I've played for don't constitute my whole life story.

I was born and bred in Leeds, and lived in a family of four in Pudsey, 2/3 miles from Elland Road.

My Dad was a miner by trade, and worked at the South Kirkby colliery in Wakefield until it was closed in 1988. We had little enough money as it was before Thatcher put us on our arse. Dad eventually started up a recruitment agency that specialises in training and finding jobs for ex-miners.

Mum was a nurse. She began her training at the Leeds General Infirmary, in 1967, aged 17. She worked at the LGI until her retirement three years ago, after 46 years of nursing.

My little brother is four years younger than me. He played in Farsley's junior teams before being given a contract for the open age group. He played part time alongside his job at The Commercial, a long-standing pub nearby. At 25, he was still doing both, and decided to put the football dream to rest and joined Dad's company. He took full control of the recruitment agency when Dad retired a couple of years ago.

As you've probably guessed, I'm a lifelong Leeds fan. My first game was a 5th birthday present, Brighton & Hove Albion at home in a 1-1 draw. I stood in the Boys' Pen between the Lowfields terrace an the Kop. I wanted to stand with the grown ups, so Dad got my a season ticket in the Lowfields for the following season. Until I was 17, me and my Dad followed Leeds home and away.

Dad's still a season ticket holder, and has been since the 1971 league title win. His allegiance changed to the Kop when the Lowfields came down and has stood there ever since. He was the first person I rang when I got the job, in between filling out the paperwork and my players and staff arriving at the ground.

My brother joined the Elland Road entourage for the 1990 promotion-winning season. He's been a season ticket holder since, and has made our poor father's ears bleed every other Saturday for the last 26 years!

I grew up with a couple of mates I call the 'two little dicky birds' (because one's named Peter, the other Paul). We all met on the first day of school, way back in 1979, when milk cartons for school children were still a thing. Before turkey twizzlers were outlawed in school canteens.

We went through primary school, senior school and college together until I left midway through college. Obviously, when I had a contract to sign at a professional football club, I wasn't going to waste time working for A-Levels. Suffice to say, I've never needed American history or physical geography since.

We took part in the tragic ritual of underage drinking in Pudsey Park, where Peter and Paul also lost their virginities (not to each other). I was quite happy to wait until the opportunity to do it came in an actual bed at least. I lost mine on a homecoming visit after my first season with Huddersfield.

We were finally old enough to go out clubbing by the point, and this was at the height of rave culture. As game as I was for a rave, I wasn't going to risk my life or at the very least my health with MDMA. Peter and Paul did, but they weren't being paid to look after their bodies (he says, after his fifth jager bomb).

It took me one night out to bed the woman I would eventually marry. Not that it was the plan that night, it was initially a one night stand like any other. But we bumped each other on my homecoming the year after and hit it off. By the time the season started, we were together. Her name is Hannah.

We wed shortly after my move to Everton, with the proposal coming in the euphoria of the biggest move of my career. Along came our only child in 2001, called Zoe.

We split up after I broke the news that I had accepted a contract at Rochdale. She really wanted to stay in Southampton. She was happy there, and had a job. I said that I would be moving about a little towards the end of my career, and that didn't sit well with her.

Although we were both in the wrong- myself for just deciding we'd be upping sticks regularly and her for not supporting my career- she was the bigger person, and made the first move as we reconciled in 2013 after my retirement. When I moved back in, I took the job at Southampton. She took me back on the premise that I didn't take a job more than 30 miles away until I've been in my current job.

When she heard I was applying for the Leeds job, she was initially upset that we were going to be moving so far away, particularly after she'd lived in Hampshire for 11 years. However, she accepted that I hadn't breached the deal we made and told me that because the club was a part of who I am, she would have made a special exception anyway.

What she didn't know until 3pm on that Saturday afternoon, was that I had been offered the job and accepted it. Our biggest row since our split in 2010 ensued.

Leeds United vs Rotherham United
2nd January 2017, 3pm
Elland Road, Leeds
Sky Bet Championship, game 25

I didn't get to sleep until 1am the previous night, because I was drafting a tactical plan should I be called into action after agreeing a deal.

I brought all the players and staff out onto the pitch once they had all arrived, so that I could see all of them. This was the first time I'd address them, just under 4 hours until kickoff.

"Right gentlemen. I've been told I'm to take charge of today's game. As short notice as it seems, it is what it is.

"I want us to play a patient possession game today, so coaches, I need you guys to set up some passing drills. We'll run fitness tests as normal, I'm aware this team played Villa on Saturday, so most of you that played that game will be rested.

"Anyone have anything to say?"

Pep Clotet, who had now taken back his role as assistant manager, stepped forward.

"Big smiles lads, the new gaffer's not had long to prepare for today so let's go out there and impress him"

I appreciated that, my assistant stepping forward to embrace the situation.

Once the fitness tests were in, I was ready to pick my first starting XI. We'd play 4-5-1, as our only attacking midfielder, Pablo Hernandez, was knackered from Villa.

"Right lads" I said in the changing room, within 10 minutes of kickoff. "We're going five across the middle today. It'd be nice to have control of the middle of the pitch in my first game, it'll give us a good base to push on from.

"With that in mind, my starting lineup is as follows:

"Rob Green in between the sticks. Across the back from left to right, we'll go Charlie Taylor, Pontus Jansson, Luke Ayling and Lewie Coyle. In the middle, Stuart Dallas, Liam Bridcutt, Matt Grimes, Ronaldo Vieira and Kemar Roofe. Up top will be Marcus Antonsson

"Full backs will stay back today, let the wingers do the running today. Mr Jansson, you'll be the enforcer at the back today, covered by Luke Ayling. Matt Grimes will play an advanced playmaker role, essentially pushing into the hole when possible. Ronaldo Vieira will play deep, he'll be the first catalyst for us going forward from defensive positions. Liam Bridcutt, our captain, will be in charge of winning the ball back, I expect him to be helped by his teammates in the middle. As for Marcus Antonsson, you will be an out-and-out striker. You'll probably be a little isolated today, but I want you to get your head up and play team mates in where possible and bury anything that comes your way

"All clear on what we're doing?"

The nods around the room were a positive sign.

"Right boys, up and at 'em. Work hard for each other. I know you're all capable of pulling off a result here, now get out there and impress me"

"FUCKING COME ON BOYS!" yelled Jansson, and the team roared back at him in unison. Today would be the first day of the rest of our lives.

Leeds United starting XI:

1 Rob Green (GK)
2 Luke Ayling
7 Kemar Roofe
10 Marcus Antonsson
15 Stuart Dallas
16 Matt Grimes
18 Pontus Jansson
21 Charlie Taylor
25 Ronaldo Vieira
26 Liam Bridcutt (c)
31 Lewie Coyle

Subs:

5 Kyle Bartley
6 Liam Cooper
9 Chris Wood
14 Eunan O'Kane
19 Pablo Hernandez
20 Alfonso Pedraza
28 Gaetano Berardi

Rotherham United starting XI:

18 Richard O'Donnell (GK)
3 Joe Mattock
5 Kirk Broadfoot
9 Danny Ward
11 Jon Taylor
13 Ronny Minkwitz (c)
16 Kelvin Wilson
17 Darnell Fisher
20 Dexter Blackstock
21 Scott Allan
24 Tom Adeyemi

Subs:

1 Lee Camp
6 Richard Wood
7 Anthony Forde
15 Semi Ajayi
22 Joe Newell
26 Aymen Belaid
27 Alex Bray


We came out to a devastatingly half-empty crowd, but expectant and noisy nonetheless. It was the Elland Road I had become acquainted with since 2013, and it had to change, today was the day.

After a blast of Madness' One Step Beyond, the club's anthem, Leeds Leeds Leeds (better known as Marching On Together) rang throughout the ground. For those unacquainted with this song, it goes like this:


The ref blew his whistle to a deafening roar, and from the off, 'We Are Leeds' (goes a bit like this: )


was ringing out from both ends.

It was the visitors that were asking questions early on. A short throw-in played from Fisher was nicely controlled by Richards. Richards laid it short to Tom Adeyemi, but the ex-Leeds loanee skewed his shot wide from distance.

A couple of minutes later, they threatened again, this time coming much closer. A long free kick into the box from Scott Allan on the left found the head of Kirk Broadfoot. Broadfoot hit a looping header which troubled Green at first, before sailing narrowly past the post.

They didn't cause us a lot of hassle after that, and it was mostly our game.

Kemar Roofe showed how difficult he can be for defenders just 10 minutes in. Liam Bridcutt found him on the right with a short ball. He wriggled his way past Joe Mattock before drilling a quick ball across the box, which wrong-footed Kirk Broadfoot and found Matt Grimes. The Swansea loanee tried hitting it first time, but it was straight at keeper Richard O'Donnell.

Grimes troubled O'Donnell again midway through the first half. Stuart Dallas showcased his dribbling ability when he made his way past Darnell Fisher. He was blocked out by Kelvin Wilson, but the loose ball fell to Grimes. Grimes struck it from 25 yards out, forcing a good save from the Rotherham keeper.

We came close again a few minutes later. Grimes floated a long free kick from the right which met the head of Jansson. The popular Swede's header whistled past O'Donnell's left hand post.

Despite a lively first 25 minutes, the following 20 minutes were a pretty dull affair, and the two teams went into half-time at 0-0.

My message to the lads was simple. If we keep playing like that we'll get a goal. We were well capable of winning this one.

The second half kicked off, and within a few minutes, the Elland Road crowd were incensed by a badly timed tackle from Joe Mattock. Grimes had picked out Kemar Roofe on the right hand side. Roofe would have been racing for the byline, but for a trip from Mattock just outside the area. The Rotherham left back had his name taken by referee Robert Madley, and was shown the yellow card.

Our first chance of the second half fell to Pontus Jansson. A free kick from Charlie Taylor on the left was drifted into the near post, but headed over the bar and into the Kop by the centre-back.

Roofe made a nuisance of himself again midway through the second half. He was played in by Grimes, and once again shook loose of Mattock before firing an effort past the post from the edge of the area.

With 12 minutes remaining, Ronaldo Vieira found Kemar Roofe on the left hand side. Not for the first time, he got himself clear of Mattock and whipped a low cross into the near post. Antonsson was on his toes, and got ahead of Broadfoot to fire a volley past O'Donnell. 1-0, and the Kop went beserk.

Seven minutes later, Rotherham made a rare attempt at goal. Danny Ward had the beating of Kyle Bartley after a long ball over the top from Anthony Forde. If he had taken it into the box, he would have stood a chance, but he just took a touch and banged it from outside the box. The ball skidded harmlessly wide, to ironic jeers from the South Stand.

Robert Madley gave 2 minutes of added time. The Roofe/Maddock story was summed up with 15 seconds on the clock. Vieira played a short ball to Roofe, who decided not to take a run this time, but to hold the ball and shield it from Maddock. Out of frustration, Maddock dragged Roofe down from behind. Mr Madley had no choice, but to show Maddock a red card for a second bookable offence.

The red card wouldn't impact the game however, as the final whistle went before we had a chance to take the free kick. Three points in my first game in charge and a clean sheet. I couldn't ask for much more

Leeds (Antonsson 78) 1-0 Rotherham
Attendance: 17,911 (1,207 Rotherham)
Man of the Match: Kemar Roofe

Some good moves behind the scenes in the backroom staff and a good win over Rotherham there!