This chronicles the career of Bill Cosby, a football manager who has taken over Palermo in Serie B, with the aim of taking them back to the big time.
He might not be the most talented, or tactically astute, or competent of managers, but he looks and sounds just like Bill Cosby.
The prologue for his time at Palermo is below!
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The date is 17th June 2018 and Palermo have called a press conference. Club Chairman, Rino Foschi, has announced the arrival of their new manager. Dead silence falls across the media room as the man is introduced – a complete unknown by the name of Bill Cosby.
He shakes hands with Foschi, holding up a Palermo shirt and smiling. Members of the Italian press begin to murmur to one another. The resemblance is uncanny. Is this the Bill Cosby?
Of course, this isn’t the real Bill Cosby. This is me, Bill Cosby. Growing up in Manchester, England, I, Jackson Smith, was a huge fan of the comedian, with shows such as Kids Say the Darndest Things and The Cosby Show regularly repeating in the Smith household. I began to do impressions as a young teen, even doing tribute stand-up acts for friends and family.
As I entered adulthood in the 90s, I modelled my appearance on Bill Cosby. I started to make a living as a lookalike, appearing at parties for children and continuing to do tribute acts all over the country. In 2003, aged 34 and already beginning to go bald, in a desperate attempt to be cast in the show Big Brother I decided to get hair implants to mimic Cosby’s afro. That wasn’t the end, however, as I made the ultimate commitment, changing my name by deed poll to Bill Cosby. Needless to say, my application for Big Brother was rejected.
In 2014, comedian Hannibal Buress went viral with a stand-up piece alluding to sexually predatory behaviour from the real Bill Cosby. I then rather shrewdly saw that this career as a Cosby tribute act was maybe on its last legs. With a passion for the Football Manager game series, I decided to pursue my life dream and applied for my professional coaching badges. I passed the course with flying colours, just in time for charges to be pressed against Bill Cosby.
Now, with only a name and a face tying me to my old career, I’m taking my first leap into management.
The interview was confusing. I applied for U.S. Città di Palermo, which I naturally assumed was the U.S. National team. Next thing I know, I’ve received an interview offer in a pink envelope from a team with a badge I’ve never seen before, signed off by Rino Foschi, chairman of Palermo.
I get Google up on my phone and search for Palermo and I’m slightly disappointed. Rather than applying for the manager of one of the world’s biggest up-and-coming national teams, with the opportunity to live in Los Angeles or New York, I’ve applied for a team that’s sitting in Serie B and has been for a year. Sure, I can live in Sicily, which is nice, but as somebody who isn’t a huge fan of pasta, it’s not ideal.
Still, after a few days of smashing the Babbel language app and recalling my GCSE Italian, I manage to make my way through the interview, mostly by replying to questions that I don’t understand with the phrase, “Sì, andrà bene”, which roughly translates to, “Yes, that will be fine”. So, having agreed to lots of expectations I’m unaware of, here I find myself in Sicily, manager of Palermo. Definitely not the United States of America.
Now, it’s time to get stuck in.
He might not be the most talented, or tactically astute, or competent of managers, but he looks and sounds just like Bill Cosby.
The prologue for his time at Palermo is below!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The date is 17th June 2018 and Palermo have called a press conference. Club Chairman, Rino Foschi, has announced the arrival of their new manager. Dead silence falls across the media room as the man is introduced – a complete unknown by the name of Bill Cosby.
He shakes hands with Foschi, holding up a Palermo shirt and smiling. Members of the Italian press begin to murmur to one another. The resemblance is uncanny. Is this the Bill Cosby?
Of course, this isn’t the real Bill Cosby. This is me, Bill Cosby. Growing up in Manchester, England, I, Jackson Smith, was a huge fan of the comedian, with shows such as Kids Say the Darndest Things and The Cosby Show regularly repeating in the Smith household. I began to do impressions as a young teen, even doing tribute stand-up acts for friends and family.
As I entered adulthood in the 90s, I modelled my appearance on Bill Cosby. I started to make a living as a lookalike, appearing at parties for children and continuing to do tribute acts all over the country. In 2003, aged 34 and already beginning to go bald, in a desperate attempt to be cast in the show Big Brother I decided to get hair implants to mimic Cosby’s afro. That wasn’t the end, however, as I made the ultimate commitment, changing my name by deed poll to Bill Cosby. Needless to say, my application for Big Brother was rejected.
In 2014, comedian Hannibal Buress went viral with a stand-up piece alluding to sexually predatory behaviour from the real Bill Cosby. I then rather shrewdly saw that this career as a Cosby tribute act was maybe on its last legs. With a passion for the Football Manager game series, I decided to pursue my life dream and applied for my professional coaching badges. I passed the course with flying colours, just in time for charges to be pressed against Bill Cosby.
Now, with only a name and a face tying me to my old career, I’m taking my first leap into management.
The interview was confusing. I applied for U.S. Città di Palermo, which I naturally assumed was the U.S. National team. Next thing I know, I’ve received an interview offer in a pink envelope from a team with a badge I’ve never seen before, signed off by Rino Foschi, chairman of Palermo.
I get Google up on my phone and search for Palermo and I’m slightly disappointed. Rather than applying for the manager of one of the world’s biggest up-and-coming national teams, with the opportunity to live in Los Angeles or New York, I’ve applied for a team that’s sitting in Serie B and has been for a year. Sure, I can live in Sicily, which is nice, but as somebody who isn’t a huge fan of pasta, it’s not ideal.
Still, after a few days of smashing the Babbel language app and recalling my GCSE Italian, I manage to make my way through the interview, mostly by replying to questions that I don’t understand with the phrase, “Sì, andrà bene”, which roughly translates to, “Yes, that will be fine”. So, having agreed to lots of expectations I’m unaware of, here I find myself in Sicily, manager of Palermo. Definitely not the United States of America.
Now, it’s time to get stuck in.
