player happiness

i have played football manager for 9 years now. and have thoroughly enjoyed the changes that have come about over the years. however my concern comes in with one of the later advances the ability to chat individually with your players. you can have a private interaction with them and ask them to change a certain part of there gameplay. i can appreciate that certain players just cannot do certain things. but if you get into an argument with a player about wanting him to adapt a certain way he plays and does not like it he instantly has a poor opinion of you. and if you push him to hard he will stop talking to you outright. this can prove very harmful to your cause if this happens with your captain.as the rest of the squad then has problems playing under him and even after 2 years in my case my captain still says he has problems finding motivation to play for me. i have managed to fix the problem with the majority of my players, but i pose the question out there to anyone who has suggestions or help. how can you be a strong willed manager who demands had work form his players, when half the tme they cry like little babies and whine they lose opinion of you. selling the players is not really a satisfactory solution.
i look forward to hearing from everyone

The player chats don't seem to have worked like they should have and do not seem to carry on - a player gets unhappy and thats it they dont chat enough and when you do what they want they are still not happy.

Try do have higher hands of approach. Maybe some trophies or been in a team a quite long time.