lol no one can compete with Neil, Neil, Neil Warnock!!!
Fantasia GMTV -
Here At Last!
"Good morning Fantasia, good morning World!
I'm Ben Dover and welcome to GOOD MORNING FANTASIA!!!
Please stand for the Fantasia National Anthem."
"Oh Fantasia, Fantasia,
Our leader, so adequately endowed.
Fantasia, Fantasia,
A nation oh so proud.
Tremble oh you doubting nations,
For your time will come.
Threaten not our salvation,
Or you'll get a rocket up the bum!
FANTASIA, F*CK YEAH!"
"We are coming to you live from the studio at the Fantasia National Stadium ready to today's first fixture in the Fantasia League of Champions. After the success of the opening ceremony yesterday and the announcing of the team managers there has been much talk about the coming days games, with squads still as yet unconfirmed there is only rumours of possible team mates.
World class players from around the world have descended on our young nation, names such as David Beckham, Lionel Messi and even the mighty Emile Heskey have been sighted.
Strangely enough there have been several sightings of Frank Lampard, in different places… at the same time which leads me nicely to our first segment of the day, lets take a look at the papers."
Fantasia Cloning Scandal
Our Glorious Leader has come under fire from the unscrupulous infidels of the world media today with ridiculous allegations of illegal human cloning experiments.
Is it a crime to want the greatest tournament the world has ever seen? NO
Is it a crime to gather the best and the brightest scientists to your new nation? NO
Is it a crime to gather the best footballing talent, and Heskey, for the tournament? NO
Is it a crime to then clone some of those players for use in several teams at the same time? Errr Probably NO!
In response to these heinous, slanderous, rumours our Glorious Leader issued the following statement:
"I'm not here to take your call at the moment, please leave a message after the infidel's scream…
...AAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!"
We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
"Well despite the UN, NATO and EPA trying their hardest to prevent this contest of giants (our lawyers have asked me to point out that they are not literal giants, that particular formula isn't ready yet…) from going ahead, it will kick off this evening as planned.
Later today we have the announcing of the squads on Fantasia Sport TV which will be followed up by the live draw for the group stages.
Don't miss it… seriously, don't… you are being watched…
Bye for now football fans.
I've been Ben Dover, and this has been GOOD MORNING FANTASIA!"