Pep Guardiola: Proving Grounds

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha”
*beep* I put the phone down. I didn’t want to negotiate a deal like that. The conversation only lasted 30 seconds and I just laughed at what they wanted. They wanted to be the top earner at this club, FC Bayern Munich. I went in for him so that he could maybe come on in the second half and perhaps play in some cup games, a few Bundesliga fixtures but he was never meant to be a first team player. That is why I rejected Fernando Torres. Him and his agent. It was ridiculous and so I didn’t bother responding to anything they said. I just laughed. I decided to test something and so I walked out into the canteen where the players were having their lunch and I shouted.


“Put your hand up if you think you are a better footballer than Fernando Torres…………Ok 15 of you think that you are better than him and guess what. The aforementioned striker things he’s better than all of you since he asked for €260,000 per week. None of you earn that much and I think and you think that there are 15 players here that are better than him and contracts of much less. Many of you are below €100,000 per week, but that’s still enough. Claudio and Mario, remember when I told you that there would be a striker coming in, it’s not gonna be Fernando Torres.”


I walked out the room and went back to my office. I still wanted a striker, but I didn’t want to go through the same bulls**t again. I looked at the list Lars (Kornetka- Scout) had given me. There were many good players in that list. A name at the top caught my eye. However he would be more expensive than Torres in terms of Transfer fees. I had a look anyway, Carlos Vela. I thought about him for a while. He would do a good job for us, however I kept searching on the list and then I found the one, the one that I was going to make mine.

“OK, so we’re settled?”

“Yes “

“Great, £15 Million and future incentives.”

“That is correct, he has been a fantastic player for us and has great potential, you will not regret this”

“I’m sure I won’t, thanks again.”

“I should be thanking you”

*chuckle’s* *Beep*

I put the phone down, “Domenech! We got him”

“Fantastic mate, how much?”

“15 plus some future crap”

“That’s quite a lot”

“Yeah but I think he’ll be worth it. I guarantee he will score on his competitive debut”.

“OK, I’ll go and tell the players”

“Thanks Dom”.

I had made my first signing for FC Bayern Munich, well we still have to agree personal terms but I’m pretty sure he’ll be ecstatic that he has a contract offer from us.

I got up from my desk and went towards the archive room. I had asked my scout’s to capture his best moments on video tape so I went to have another look at what we were getting. I opened the room and there was a barrage of DVD’s in a rack. They were arranged alphabetically so I looked for the letter V. It didn’t take me long to find it and I read it out loud to myself. “Volland goals”. A huge smile came across my face as I made it back to my office. I sat down with my packet of Revels and watched the tape. He didn’t score many spectacular goals but, goals are goals no matter how they go in.


The tape came to a close and just then my phone burst into life. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. It was an unrecognised number so I didn’t know what to expect. I greeted this person with a ginger hello. His voice was cold and dark and I still had no clue who he was until he mentioned “Kevin”. I don’t like agents like this so I showed no enthusiasm in fact I didn’t even listen. The only word’s I heard were £55,000 a week. I mumbled yes and hung up. A smile came across my face for the second time and with that I turned my attention to the draw of the DFB Pokal. I popped another revel in my mouth watched. Bayern came up pretty quickly. It was a decent draw, away at SSV Jahn Regensburg. This should be easy and it would also be the game I hoped my new boy Kevin Volland would get a goal in.

Volland is a good signing, Bayern signed him on my save too - but for 8m more

I'm a United fan and I enjoyed that update

“Toni look wide…… Great ball, go Mario go. Well done boys great goal, Phillip, great cross as well. Jan, you gotta see those runs, Mario had way too much time to bring it down. Apart from that you’re doing great.”

It was only my 3rd session with the team, but I was eager to show them my tactics. This way they have more time to fully understand their roles and what kind of football I want.

“Ok boys, gather round. This is important. OK, we are going to have 3 primary formations, each with different player roles and slightly different styles of football.”

I whipped out the clipboard from behind my back.

“Right first one as you can see, wingers on either side, one in between and one behind him. OK first of all, the two centre backs have different roles. One of you is going to look for through balls and you will get the ball quickly into the midfield. The other will be very restricted. Of course you can go up for set-pieces but you must hold position and be aware of what’s around you. Full Backs you will play however you want to play, however if you are attacking too much then I may call you back. Whoever is playing at defensive mid, will be quite creative, but it will only be from deep. Your aim is to slip through balls in and spray it wide. You will have someone in front of you and he will have to be an engine. He will be playing as a box to box player. This means arriving late in the opposition area and taking part in the defence. The two wingers will stay wide and maybe make a few runs in behind the lines. I want you to really drill the ball across the box too. OK and the centre attacking mid will stay just behind the striker, receive a pass from deep and then turn in which you have 3 options. Play it left, right or through the middle. The Striker is going to be waiting between the 2 centre backs and he will be looking to break free of the defence or run across them when we have it wide. This is the shape we will be forming.”

“Look at this one know, the back four can play how they like, I don’t mind. The two in the middle of the park will play very different roles. One will stay back and win the ball, otherwise the defence has no protection. The other will be playing deep as well but his job will be getting on the ball and finding passes. The two wingers can roam around that area as much as they like. Do what you want with it I don’t mind. There will also be two up front and one will be again hanging on the last man while the other tries to do all sorts of jobs, it’s sort of freedom for you.”

“Again we will have the same defence as before, however the shape here is very different. The DM will be an anchor man. You will be lying in front of the defence, winning the ball and intercepting balls without moving forward at all. There will be two in front. One will be box to box and the other will be playing passes from deep. There will be two in front of you as well, one will be roaming around and taking shots while the other slips it in for the striker. That striker will also have complete freedom and can do anything they want.”

“So boys, this is what you’ll be working for and this is what will bring us our success. That’s right, we are going to win a trophy this year at least, and when I say this I’m not counting the Club World cup and the super cup even though it would be nice to win it. I’m talking Bundesliga, Pokal or Champions League. We’ll start work on these tactics tomorrow so that we know what we’re doing with them. Thanks for your attention and you can now go to lunch.”

Very interesting tactics, hope they work out for you

Great story so far!

Great read Jozef!

Some very VERY interesting tactics haha I have never seen any like the third one

Lucas: Yes well, i'm quite a way ahead of the story, so I know how they did, but you won't for a while MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Jontearonsson: Thanks mate.

Pauker: Thanks Pauker, it's been fun to write.

k1rups: Yeah well there may be a reason why.

I wondered into my office, threw my daily packet of revels on my desk and sat. I looked up at the ceiling. Nothing. Suddenly a colourful picture on my desk distracted me. It was the cover of a magazine. There was a picture of Kevin Volland in his new Bayern shirt and then the words what was he thinking? I was confused and I wondered if he had done something crazy in public. I opened it to the contents page and then flicked to page 57. Then I realised that the article was about me, but I hadn’t done anything crazy. Slowly my mind worked out that it must have been about me signing Volland. There was a stats section on the far side and I was horrified.


I had paid €21.5 million for someone who scores 29 league goals in 100 appearances. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t give him back and I couldn’t show my disappointment in front of him. I stood up and was about to leave when I froze. I realised that I would just have to believe him. We could change this record. We could make him the goal-scorer we thought we were getting. He was only young and I’m sure he’d be able to change. Besides he will be given time to improve. I don’t plan to bring in anymore strikers for a while so we can show the faith we have in him.


As I sat back down, I heard the first few cars of players pull up. I looked out the window to see who it was and sure enough it was Kevin Volland. He had a huge smile on his face and he looked ready to play. He did not think to himself that his scoring record was not good enough. He was loving here and had had complete confidence in his ability. I realised that he was going to be fine. He may struggle at first but he would find his feet after a while. Despite this I decided that I would like to talk to him. Partly because I wanted someone to sit in the chair opposite my desk. I got up and looked at him. He saw me and I gestured to come in here. He started to walk. A few seconds later and the door was opened, in came Kevin.

“Revel?” I said holding the packet in the air.

“No thanks, boss”.

He sat down in the chair and a little tingle went down my spine.
“OK, Kevin, as our new signing I just wanted to ask you some questions.”

“No problem boss, ask away.”

“What is it that you want to achieve here?”

“I want to help the team win trophies, any trophy will do. I just want to be part of some success.”

“How do you plan to contribute to this?”

“By scoring goals, setting up team mates. Generally, I will just play the best I can at all times and work hard on the pitch.”

I decided that I was going to confront him on his scoring record.

“Now Kevin, are you aware that you scoring record……isn’t exactly the best?”

“Well, I hadn’t scored as many as I had hoped but I thought it was alright. I know that I could do better though.”

“Could you suggest a reason as to why you hadn’t scored that many at your previous clubs?”

“Well, maybe it’s because, I didn't have great players around me to say the least and I would have to create almost everything for myself. Apart from that, I’m not sure. I guess will find out because this year everyone around me is fantastic”.

“Ok, don’t worry Kevin, I’m sure you’ll do great this season”.

“Thanks boss”.

“You’re welcome”.
He got up and left. I had made myself feel more easy but I think I might have worried him. However I still think that he’s going to score on his debut. Only time will tell and it’s going to be an exciting time.

Pah, only one bag of revels? You disappoint me, Pep. Good update, I hope Volland does well

Been meaning to comment on this for a while. Love the style of writing and the quality is very high. Keep it up.

Louis: I'm not too keen on revels.

Walter: Thanks mate.