Pep Guardiola: Proving Grounds

I think that you know he's gonna score on his debut

Phillipp Leschinski (Kicker): Congratulations; What’s it like winning your first trophy here in Germany?

Pep: Trophy? What trophy? This game is merely a friendly designed to catch the eye of football fans. It is of no worth. I am not bothered about the trophy, however I am pleased with the win. We beat our closest rivals for the season by a 2 goal margin. For sure I am happy.

Thomas Djordevic (ESPN): However a scoreline of 4-2 flatters you a little bit, yes?

Pep: Maybe. Of course we were not prepared for Bender to arrive late at the edge of the box and unleash those shots and to be 2-0 down after 15 minutes because of 2 Bender goals from long range was quite a shock and we played brilliantly to come back. We scored good goals too, well we got lucky with Mandzukic’s second.

Uli Kirsch (Sky): It was a fantastic game, wouldn’t you agree?

Pep: Oh of course. As I said before we were surprised to fall behind from 2 great strikes, but we put together a great passing move and ended with a header from Mandzukic. He got lucky with his second and the equaliser. Weidenfeller didn’t shout to his defender and Hummels headed it past him. Then Weidenfeller was sent off later on in the match. Martinez managed to grab a goal and then Ribery put an end to things right at the end. It was a fantastic spectacle.

Timo Lönig (Munich football post): Speaking of the sending off, did you think the ref made the right call?

Pep: I don’t see what the Dortmund players were arguing about and I believe Klopp said yesterday that it was a sending off. The rules say that the keeper cannot handle the ball outside his area and this is what he did. Also if he didn’t catch it then Mandzukic would have been in for his hat-trick. The fact that Langerak played helped us. Honestly I feel that Langerak should have saved the effort and I’m sure he would agree with me.


Uli Kirsch (Sky): This is surely going to inject some confidence into the side and especially Mandzukic who grabbed a hat-trick. Will this affect your start to the season?

Pep: Definitely, however I don’t know what way yet. We either go into the season knowing that we can beat any side and that if we preform we will beat any side, or we go thinking that if we turn up we will win. I will work to stop the latter from happening, but you never know in Football, that’s the beauty of it. As for Mandzukic, of course he will have more confidence. We will rely on him to get goals alongside, Kevin and Claudio. This is a great sign for us as we k now that he can do his job to great effect.

Timo Lönig (Munich football post): As we go in to the new season, do you expect to bring in any more names?

Pep: I doubt it. I am not looking at anyone right now, however you know what the transfer window is like. Anything can happen at any time. Maybe the right player will be placed on the transfer list. We’ll see.

Uli Kirsch (Sky): Well done today Pep and good luck for the rest of the season.

Pep: Thank you.

Overall it was a rather difficult pre-season. We struggled against teams such as Urawa Reds and Seoul. However the worst performance was by far against Suwon. We failed to create any chances and the result was fair. Despite the struggle against the Japanese sides. We found positives against Dortmund in the Super Cup. As I said we didn't play well this pre-season but it gave me and the team information and familiarity which is the most important thing.

An okay preseason, but as you said, more about familiarity with tactics and all. And a fanastic Super Cup win, despite what Pep thinks

Pauker: Maybe, Maybe Not.

Walter: It was a great game and we scored some pretty decent goals.

The season was drawing close and we were ready to take them on. The squad was ready and I was looking forward to this season more than any other. The season was going to be fun and also challenging, even though people say the Bundesliga is full of crap teams this will be a hard and difficult season. The squad is probably not as good as the one at Barcelona but the heart is there. Our first game of the season is against SSV Jahn Regensburg. We will play our first team in order to establish our best players and show the rest of Germany what we can do. I looked out the window and the team where smashing long ball across to each other perfectly, landing at each players feet. I decided to write down my top 11 players according to my scouts. I wrote them down and sat. I thought for a little while, I looked outside the window again and took my paper outside. I stood outside and stood still for a while. No one battered an eyelid. I shouted out and they all looked.


“I have here a list of our top 11 players. I will read them out in no particular order: Manuel Neuer, Mario Götze, Toni Kroos, Javi Martinez, Thiago, Xherdan Shaqiri, David Alaba, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Franck Ribery, Philipp Lahm and Arjen Robben. If your name is not on this list then it is your job, NO your duty to make it on that list. For those of you who are, you need to make sure you stay there because there are many other people here who want a place on that list. Any questions?.................No, ok as you know we are going to be up against Dortmund for the league and they are a very strong side. However we know that we can beat them. We won their earlier so come on, we can do this. This season will be successful and domestic success would be fantastic. We must not underestimate the other sides and we must not be complacent. We can win this COME ON.”

Good win there and a good goal for Kevin!

Heh you got the same draw as Bayern irl

It was quite cold in Prague, it was actually 10 degrees but it felt like 0. I stood in the tunnel and looked out onto the pitch. I could see a fair few fans wearing red, which is always a good sign, although they didn’t look too enthusiastic. Neither was I to be honest. It meant we had to play Augsburg in mid-week and all of us were tired. When I briefed the team I could tell that they knew I wasn’t bothered. I looked back and saw Philipp jumping up and down to keep warm. Where the hell were Chelsea? I looked at the referee and he understood. He turned and made his way to the home dressing room. I didn’t want to see Jose so early in my Bayern career. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing to him again, but I knew this meant nothing so I tried to pay him no mind. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of boots walking along solid ground. I didn’t look back at the boys in blue, mostly because I didn’t want to make eye contact with him. I heard Neuer and Cech’s gloves bang together. At least someone was in a friendly mood.



The referee came to the front of the 2 lines and led them out. I got up but I didn’t follow them. I went to stand next to Dom who had been talking to Jan (Kirchhoff). It was to be the biggest game he’s ever played in and so Dom was just wishing him good luck. We made our way out together. I looked at the bench in disgust. It was wooden, the one day I could do with a comfy chair to sit in and I get this. I reached into my pocket and took out a revel. I usually didn’t bring them to games but this was an exception. I dug out a woolly hat from the kit bag and stuck my hands in my pocket. Then I heard the whistle. I didn’t even look at the pitch.

13th minute: Hazard has a shot but it was weak and we managed to clear. Then we break but I don’t want to get excited the ball comes out towards me and Alaba touches it down. I can see his eyes searching and he smashes it forward. The ball goes nowhere near a red shirt and Cech calmly picks up the ball. Dom threw his hands up in the air but I did nothing. Cech manages to find Cole and somehow he finds Eto’o. Dom shouts “Hazard far left”. Everyone looks over but it’s too late, Hazard has space and fires it towards goal with real power, but Neuer managed to get a hand to it. I sat still again.

29th minute: Mata, whipped in a corner but Kirchhoff got to it above everyone else. Dom was on the edge of the technical area and he shouted something at Kirchhoff. Mata was back in possession of the ball and he laid it off to Lampard, the veteran teed it off for Hazard and this time Neuer couldn’t save it. Chelsea took the lead. Dom started shouting again but I just dug my hands into my pocket further.


34th minute: Willian had lots of space on the right wing, he could of crossed it but he gave it to Lampard. The Englishman struck it and I could tell straight away that Neuer was beaten. Luckily for us it came flying back off the post, however it fell to Eto’o who had an open goal. He tapped it home and I watched him as he ran off. Then I saw him hold his hands out wide and he had a look of disgust on his face. Dom pointed and I followed his finger, there was the official holding his flag up. We got lucky.


43rd minute: Azpilicueta took a long throw. Willian came forward and run the header, he was challenged by no one. To be fair to the Brazilian it was a beautiful flick on and Eto’o was waiting at the back post, he too was unmarked and he tapped home. Dom exploded out of his seat and started to yell at the players. I looked to the linesman with hope. He didn’t move and the referee continued to point at the centre circle. I looked to the skies hoping for something, I was not looking forward to the half time team talk.


Half time: I walked in and I told Dom I really didn’t want to give the talk. He said he wanted to because of that shocking defending. He pushed open the door and was followed by the players. I just waited outside. I really felt the cold again and to be honest was feeling a little bit sick. So I went out to the bench, put my hood up and kept my head down. I sat and waited for the teams to come back out.

I stayed exactly where I was when the teams came out. I didn’t want to watch. I only moved my head when the referee blew the whistle.

47th minute: I heard the crowd getting excited but I didn’t look. I assume it was a great passing move. So I look towards Cech’s goal, but he is standing still with not a soul within 20 metres of him. So I look towards the other end and the ball is just about to fall onto Willian’s boot. The ball flies off his right foot but unfortunately for him Neuer is up to the task. Dom leaned over and told me that Chelsea sliced us apart. I swore under my breath because I just imagined the joy Jose would be getting from all of this.


65th minute: Willian runs a good 40 yards down the wing and he cuts it back to Azpilicueta. The Spaniard hits it but Neuer saves it. A scramble forms on the penalty spot with challenges flying in from everyone. The ball pops out and Hazard is standing there. The Belgian winger smashes it past Neuer for 3-0. This was turning into a disaster.

81st minute: I had stopped watching the game completely by now and suddenly an eerie silence fell over the stadium. I wondered what had happened and the players in red were high-fiving each other. We must have scored but the fans didn’t celebrate, and who can blame them. I looked up at the poor quality scoreboard and saw a cross flying low into the Chelsea penalty area and Kevin Volland had got ahead of his man to tap it home. 3-1 was less embarrassing but still very poor.

The final whistle went, but I was already up and trudging down the tunnel. I couldn’t face Mourinho. So I left but before I did I asked Dom to take the team talk again. I walked straight through to the team bus. I couldn’t take it anymore and I texted Dom to make the team hurry up. I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes.

K1: Yeah, I was right about him and his goal.

Louis: I know, weird isn't it? I remember watching this game in Berchtesgaden.

Disappointed, Jozef, disappointed. I keed, I keed.

I looked over and Dom was slumped over, he was tired. After all he had done all the work the night before. We flew from Prague the day of the game as we were all a little bit down. We didn’t do an interview there but they wanted to do one in Munich at the Allianz. We were going to do a training session there and so everyone was here but it was too be a light session. The interview was to be done at noon. I didn’t want to do it so I was going to ask Dom to do it. But he was almost asleep in his chair and so I decided that it would be me who goes. I was feeling better than I was yesterday but I still was reluctant to do it. Nevertheless I got out of my chair and started to walk. My feet felt heavy and it was getting cold here. My feet dragged along the floor as I made my way to the press room.


I peeked through the glass to see how many people were there. I swear there was more than when I was announced and so my mood sank. I was not up for this one. However there are many things people have to do even if they don’t want to. So I decided to just suck it up and go in. I didn’t look at the field of journalists and just went straight to my chair. It was comfy, which was probably going to be a bad thing as I could see myself falling asleep. I still didn’t look at them and instead just took a sip from my glass of water. I was looking down until it was time to answer a question. I prepared my ears.

“How disappointed are you to lose to Mourinho and Chelsea the club you rejected?”

“Of course it is not nice. I wanted to beat Jose but this time it was not possible. It makes it worse when you look at the game because they clearly dominated it us. Perhaps Mourinho bettered me tactically yesterday. I say this because there is no way that Chelsea have a better squad than us. I think that maybe only 2 players from their squad would play regularly in ours. So I think that is the only explanation as to why we lost.”

“Do you have any regrets choosing Bayern over Chelsea?”

“That’s a stupid question, I have no regrets. OK so we may have lost to Chelsea but it’s very early in the season and who knows we may face them again in the Champions League. That time perhaps we will beat them."

“Did you see Mourinho before or after the match”?

“No, because I didn’t want to. I don’t really like the man and so I didn’t go and see him. I knew that he would gloat and so I don’t want to see him after the game. I still remember what he did to Tito. I will always remember that and I’m sure you will to."

“Do you feel that you underestimated Chelsea and Hazard in particular?”

“Hazard yes and in that respect Chelsea as well because he did everything for them. OK so Eto’o scored a goal but it was in a way a scrappy goal. Everything they did went through Hazard. You look at the players they have: Mata, Willian, Oscar, Schürrle yet they are a one man team. I’ve seen their first two league games, they lost to Cardiff and Liverpool. OK so in the Cardiff game Hazard didn’t feature at all. Then for Liverpool he only played the last 10 minutes. Then they dominate Hull completely in their 3rd league game and guess who plays 90 minutes.”

“Do you think this result will have any effect on your Champions League campaign?”

“No, no because I don’t value this competition. It is just like the Deutsche super cup. It would be nice to win it but if you don’t nobody is really bothered. Maybe this one means more to them than Deutsche one but it is still not enough to de-rail a Champions league campaign that starts in around 3 weeks.”

“Are you going to be watching the draw tomorrow?”

“Yes with great interest. Honestly some managers say that they want a hard group and it is understandable for some. I want the easiest draw possible. This way I can keep pushing in the Bundesliga and get through in the champions league with ease. Of course it can be done with a hard group too but it requires a lot more hard work.”

“Thank you for your time”

“No Problem”

I slipped out of the room. The press conference had made me feel a little better. I thought it went quite well. As I walked out and past the changing rooms. I asked the guy at the tunnel to open up the entrance. I didn’t want to have to climb up the “Van Bommel ladder”. I stood at the front as it opened and the coaching areas were raised. All the players looked over.

“That’s all for today boys, feel free to stay after training to do some extra work but don’t get yourself injured”.

With that I walked out and left.

Nice update, it actually sounds so much like Pep irl.

A tough loss mate but very nice update style I really enjoyed the read