"My name is Jack Baker," I whisper, "and I am here today to apply for the managerial position at Gosport Borough F.C.," I shout.
"Alright young man, just lower the volume level a tad. I'm Margaret, and I'm the club's part-time receptionist. Mark Hook will be out of his office in a moment to receive you."
Mark Hook is the chairman, I think nervously.
I'm only 26 years old, only a few years removed from my own playing days up at Boston United. A crushing knee injury finished any high-level aspirations I had at age 21.
They'd released me without so much as a goodbye card, the Pilgrims.
I was crushed and defeated, and had spent the majority of the last five years since my release sitting in my parents' basement unabashedly watching footage of myself, bitterly hating Boston United for not seeing my obvious potential.
"Hello Jack, welcome to our humble home," says a tall, thick man I take to be GBFC chairman Mark Hook. I instantly snap out of my reminiscence and grasp his outstretched hand.
"Hi Mr. Chairman, very happy to be here."
"Step into my office and let's have a chat, shall we?"
...
Twenty minutes later I leave the office, say goodbye to Margaret, and hop into my car for the long drive home, wearing my new Gosport Borough F.C. tracksuit, with "Manager" written proudly in cursive on the sleeve.
...
"Hello mum, I'm home! You won't believe this- I've got a job! A real job!
"Oh Jacky, I knew that Tesco would need an extra cart pusher! I'm so glad you're finally back on your own two feet! When do you move out?"
"Mum, I didn't apply to Tesco, and I'm too smart to push carts but thanks for that. I'm the new manager of GBFC!"
"What in god's name is GBFC? Is this one of those random Football Manager saves you always ramble on about?"
"GOSPORT BOROUGH FOOTBALL CLUB! I'm a football manager mum!"
"Wow...I'm so proud that you're going to coach a bunch of losers who can't get a real job and want to live the dream for a few more years! What do they play, Ryman League?"
"Oh shut up. They play in the Conference South."
"I'm so very proud of you my boy...now go do the dishes."
Sigh, I need to move out soon. Training starts tomorrow and I'm so excited to meet the lads. My mum simply doesn't understand what being a pro...erm...semi-pro football manager means!
"Alright young man, just lower the volume level a tad. I'm Margaret, and I'm the club's part-time receptionist. Mark Hook will be out of his office in a moment to receive you."
Mark Hook is the chairman, I think nervously.
I'm only 26 years old, only a few years removed from my own playing days up at Boston United. A crushing knee injury finished any high-level aspirations I had at age 21.
They'd released me without so much as a goodbye card, the Pilgrims.
I was crushed and defeated, and had spent the majority of the last five years since my release sitting in my parents' basement unabashedly watching footage of myself, bitterly hating Boston United for not seeing my obvious potential.
"Hello Jack, welcome to our humble home," says a tall, thick man I take to be GBFC chairman Mark Hook. I instantly snap out of my reminiscence and grasp his outstretched hand.
"Hi Mr. Chairman, very happy to be here."
"Step into my office and let's have a chat, shall we?"
...
Twenty minutes later I leave the office, say goodbye to Margaret, and hop into my car for the long drive home, wearing my new Gosport Borough F.C. tracksuit, with "Manager" written proudly in cursive on the sleeve.
...
"Hello mum, I'm home! You won't believe this- I've got a job! A real job!
"Oh Jacky, I knew that Tesco would need an extra cart pusher! I'm so glad you're finally back on your own two feet! When do you move out?"
"Mum, I didn't apply to Tesco, and I'm too smart to push carts but thanks for that. I'm the new manager of GBFC!"
"What in god's name is GBFC? Is this one of those random Football Manager saves you always ramble on about?"
"GOSPORT BOROUGH FOOTBALL CLUB! I'm a football manager mum!"
"Wow...I'm so proud that you're going to coach a bunch of losers who can't get a real job and want to live the dream for a few more years! What do they play, Ryman League?"
"Oh shut up. They play in the Conference South."
"I'm so very proud of you my boy...now go do the dishes."
Sigh, I need to move out soon. Training starts tomorrow and I'm so excited to meet the lads. My mum simply doesn't understand what being a pro...erm...semi-pro football manager means!