Hello all,
Before I begin I would like to thoroughly apologize for never truly finishing any of my FM Handheld stories.
I would also like to point out that this series will be focused almost entirely on my manager-character as opposed to the teams, transfers, and proper FM stuff.
Why, you ask?
Because I am an FM noob, and don't want to screenshot my embarrassing trial run in FM 2014.
Stay tuned for my journey's commencement!
July 6th, 2013
My name is Carlos Merida, and I am a twenty-seven year old man-child living in his parents' (luxurious) basement in a suburb of Toronto, Canada.
I've got dual citizenship, however I've only actually lived in Spain once (for about a year, when I was a little kid). I'm Canadian to my core. Love hockey, country music, and winter.
The one thing I love most in life, however, is futbol. As sacred as the bible in our ultra-Catholic household, futbol has gotten me through some of my lowest times.
But right now may be my lowest yet.
My ex-girlfriend, Marissa, just broke it off with my after four and a half years together. She kept the apartment, and now I'm here- back on my parents' ultra-comfortable sofa, unemployed, and unloved.
At 27, it's time I got my stuff together.
Back in my late teens, I played semi-pro futbol for the somewhat-famous Serbian White Eagles, a team that at one time dominated the Canadian Soccer League, which is embarrassingly Canada's highest level of futbol. I played a total of seventeen games for the club, scoring twice in my role as attacking midfielder.
The one season I played was an embarrassment- we finished second to last, and even our notorious Ultras stopped attending games.
Point of the story- it was god awful, and it made me quit futbol.
Until now. I've got my CSA-administered coaching licenses, and I figured I had nothing to lose.
I threw my application letter into the mailbox of every European club that was manager-less.
Nothing back as of yet...
July 10th, 2013
I only sent my serious follow-up application to four teams, who I thought would seriously entertain the possibility of hiring me.
There are, well, the forgettable four:
Red Star FC - A team in France's National Division (3rd-tier I believe), they are expected to finish mid-table with a wage bill of $29K and Below Average training facilities. Quite frankly, the only positive about this job is the possibility of actually using the little French I learned in grade school...
Palermo - Alright, so this application wasn't very realistic. My favorite childhood team, I've always loved the pink of Palermo. Not to mention the thought of Sicily...mmm. Expected to win the Serie B with a wage bill of $220K and Good training facilities.
Salamanca S.A.D. - A bit of a flyer, I remember playing with them in FIFA 10, back when they were in Spain's Liga Adelante (2nd-tier). Now, they've tumbled down to the third tier, and are merely looking to avoid relegation. Wage bill of 10K with Average training facilities.
Stockport County - Playing in the lowest league of the English Football System, this Skrill North outfit are hoping for a Play-Off spot with a wage bill of $5K and Average training facilities.
These are the forgettable four, let's see if anyone is willing to give me my first shot as a manager!
I really need to get away from home. My frustrated and disappointed parents, Melissa constantly liking my Facebook pictures in some evil form of vengeful hinting...ugh.
July 11th, 2013
I pick up the phone-
"Hello," I mumble groggily. It's 4AM.
"Hi is this Mr. Merida," questions a quaint English accent.
"By god yes it's Mr. Merida what can I do for you," I say, then catch my breath and act cool, "I mean, is there something you'd like to offer me?"
"My name is Peter Snape. I'm going to be brief because I'm off to another one of our club's awful- I mean our club's annual financial meeting. I'm the Chairman here at Stockport County, and on behalf of the other three staff members, I would like to invite you to take up the post of manager here with us."
"Really," I ask a little too quickly. "Yes, that could potentially work. What are the grounds of the offer?"
"Well, as you may or may not know, our club has fallen on hard times recently. Our ten-thousand seat stadium is decrepit, and ever since falling out of League Football in spring 2011, our finances have been crippled quickly. We can't offer you much, just 375 pounds per week. You will also have an assistant manager, a scout, and a physio at your disposal."
"Sir, to be quite honest I cannot survive in England on 375 pounds a week! How long is the contract for?"
"It would be until June of 2014, so one season. If you win promotion, you will receive a bonus of one thousand nine hundred pounds," he said hopefully, like a car salesman pitching a lost cause.
"Look, I'm going to need at least six hundred pounds per week simply to sustain myself," I state angrily. This may be my first job in football, but I'm certainly not going to let an old English man with shady finances to sweet talk me into taking a welfare position! "Six hundred per week, and that promotion bonues? You'd best make it two and a half thousand pounds!"
I hang up the phone angrily. I understand that it's non-league football, but how do they expect someone to pack up and leave their home city, country, and continent to manage their club on three hundred pounds per week? Idiots.
July 12th, 2013
Stockport's Chairman didn't even bother to call me back.
I received a curt e-mail from him later that morning:
"Taken aback by such brashness for a manager of so little experience, the Board and I have come to the conclusion that you shan't be taking over Stockport County anytime soon. Thank you for your carefully-worded application and your time."
Maybe I had set my standards a little too high. After all, as a semi-professional footballer, this was the level I belonged at technically.
Next time, I won't cock up my opportunity.
July 15th, 2013
Looks as though my only one of my applications still has a chance.
Edoardo Reja, an old established Italian manager, just took over at Palermo. He played for the club back in the early 70s, and has managed the likes of Lazio, Genoa, and Napoli. If I were Palermo, I'd pick him over me too. I hope he can do right by my old childhood club.
Jean-Guy Wallemme has taken over at Red Star FC, and having played fifteen years in France's top flight with Lens, Saint-Etienne, and Sochaux made him a natural choice. I didn't have a chance there either.
Brian Little has taken control with Stockport County. Little played the entire decade of the 1970s with Aston Villa, and has had various positions with both league and non-league clubs.
Just posted a facebook status-
"Heading to the bar with the boys...still waiting to hear from Salamanca. Looks like I'll be coaching some u11 girls indoor again this winter unless something happens quick! :(
July 16th, 2013
The final nail has been put in my 2013-14 coffin.
The pipe dream of being hired by a European team, having a full summer to form my new squad, it's all out the window.
Salamanca announced the hiring today of Juan Merino as their new boss. He's had managerial roles in all three flights of pro Spanish futbol, and again, it's not surprising they looked past me.
While my final application rejection does hurt, it doesn't hurt too badly knowing that Salamanca is a club on the decline with unstable finances and a meagre squad.
Time to shape up and look for more jobs while fending off the borderline-harassment of Melissa.
July 22nd, 2013
I'm finally up and about again, going to futbol practice, working out, and now I'm even working at Subway!
Unfortunately, it doesn't appear as though any more jobs will pop up between now and the beginning of the European domestic seasons...
That being said, there have been some big transfers:
Lucas Leiva, Liverpool to Man City, 23mil
Antoine Griezmann, Real Sociedad to AS Monaco, 20mil
Ever Banega, Valencia to PSG, 14mil
Filipe, Atl. Madrid to PSG, 13.75mil
André Ayew, Marseille to Man City, 12mil
Hector Moreno, Espanyol to Arsenal, 10.75mil
Claudio Yacob, West Brom to Benfica, 9.75mil
Cheick Tioté, Newcastle to Liverpool, 9.25mil
My under-the-radar signing has to be FC Porto's Brazilian find:
Nicolas Lodeiro, Botafogo to FC Porto, 3.4mil
Lodeiro is a quality attacking midfielder who I believe is going to blossom into a great up-and-coming player at Porto.
While I continue to job hunt, I will keep everyone posted on the goings-on in the game world of Carlos Merida...the unlucky Canado-Spaniard!
July 31st, 2013
My last chance.
Last chance to take the reins of a team in the midst of its pre-season and attempt to guide us to glory.
Unfortunately, the team happens to be Sutton United, an altogether underwhelming outfit in the Skrill Conference South.
The board have placed an advert looking for a manager who can make the Skrill South Promotion Play-Offs, on a wage budget of 7,876 and Below Average training facilities.
I've thrown my application together, and sent it.
Let's hope for the best!
Everyone has to start somewhere, right?
August 1st, 2013
In yet another exciting twist, I've also applied to Boreham Wood's advert for a manager.
The club is barely breaking even, but do have a good stadium for their level (Skrill South). However, their wage budget is significantly lower than Sutton's at 5,827, yet the manager is somehow expected to lead Boreham Wood to promotion!
All this excitement from the comfort of my parents' comfortable suburban-Toronto couch!
August 11th, 2013
My patience is growing ever thin, as are the hairs on my nearly-30 head.
Boreham Wood have hired Gary Lowe to lead their team to the promotion play-offs in the Skrill South.
My frustration can only be symbolized by the shoe that is currently lodged in the wall of our den, in the same spot where I threw it when reading Boreham Wood's kind rejection letter.
I'm banking it all on Sutton United, but I haven't heard from them in nearly two weeks.
Life's rough being an unemployed Canadian futbol manager...
August 13th, 2013
The doorbell rings at 7:30 on another Tuesday morning. For whatever incomprehensible reason, I'm awake.
As I trudge to the door, I peep through the half-open blind to check if it's a familiar face.
I spy a small, wiry man with green sports goggles- looks like he's off on an early morning run.
I open the door, and immediately spot the Everton logo on his training shirt.
"Carlos Merida, I presume," he says with a meandering English accent.
"Uh, yes, what can I do for you?"
"My name is Bradley Elliott, and I live three doors down. Just moved in last week."
"Oh, well, welcome to the neighbourhood," I say, failing to hide my dejection.
"Why so sad? Would a contract offer to manage a football club in England make you happier?"
My heart skipped a beat.
"Yes, 150%! Why?"
Bradley then explained to me that through a complete coincidence, his older brother Bruce was the Chairman at Sutton United. He'd faxed Bradley my contract offer, which he handed to me now.
Looking it over, I smiled to see that I would be paid six hundred pounds per week, and my promotion bonus was a solid three thousand pounds.
"Excellent Bradley, you've just made my day. Hell, you just made my year! Should I just sign the contract and give it back to you?"
"No, sign it. Pack it, and catch a flight to Heathrow! You've got your debut in just four days at home against Eastleigh!"
"B- b- b- but....okay! See you around!"
Just like that, my career as a football manager had begun.
August 16th, 2013
Upon inspection, it turns out the squad is rather thin. Both in numbers and in hair quantity.
We've only seventeen players total, and three of them are injured.
Not to mention the average age of the squad appears to be around 32, I've got a lot of work to do.
Centre back Jamie Stuart is the team captain, and many seem to think he'd make a good player-manager.
It also looks like the few players I do have are quite decent for this level, with quite a few five-star players in their thirties.
So the key will be staying healthy, keeping the old dogs in top form, and trying to bring something up through our "Awful" youth team.
I'll be starting with a simple 3-5-2 formation in an attempt to clog the midfield and utilize the wings. Probably put it on Counter mentality with Rigid formation.
Oh and my first match will be a competitive one against Eastleigh, one of the few fully professional teams in the league, at home in front of a raucous crowd of 100 season ticket holders.
This could be quite the challenge...
This should be fun....
August 17th, 2013
Maybe I should have been more selective, or at least done my homework on the club I chose to began my managerial career in football with.
Quite frankly, our squad is old, slow, and tired.
Our first match was a pathetic excuse of a semi-professional football match. I played matches for the freakin' Serbian White Eagles in Canada that were better than what I just witnessed!
We were outplayed start to finish by Eastleigh, who just dominated us in all three sections of the pitch.
Stuart Fleetwood headed home for them just 32 seconds into the match, and it was a sign of things to come.
Yemi Odubade then buried home a poorly-spilled rebound in the fifth minute, and it was clear the match was already over.
Odubade then unleashed a rocketed volley off of a corner in the 48th minute, and it was suddenly 3-nil.
Mike Green then rubbed the final grain of salt in the wound with an absolute screamer of a free kick from twenty-five yards out.
Full-time, and the ugly-looking scoreboard at the corner of our ground read 4-nil to Eastleigh.
Quality start, just a quality start.
Everything about this club just reeks of failure and decline, and I'm not sure I want to be a part of it.
We've got Staines at home in two days' time. Hopefully we put out a slightly better showing.
August 21st, 2013
The times just keep on getting tougher for myself and the hapless Sutton United squad.
Despite playing quite well and outshooting Staines 13-5, we dropped our second Skrill South match by a narrow 2-1 score.
We currently have six men injured in our nineteen-man squad, three of whom are first team players.
Things are rough at Gander Green Lane, and a home date with Bishop's Stortford looks like it will be just as difficult as our previous two matches.
My only signing of the transfer window was a free one, as I brought in defensive midfielder Rambir Marwa on a part-time, backup basis. The 33 year-old has had stints in the Conference Premier, and way back in the late nineties he kitted up in League Two.
The board and fans are already on my back after just eight days in charge and two heavy losses. We currently sit bottom of the table in the 22-team Skrill Conference South, and something has to be done...
You are reading "A Young Man's Journey Around Europe".
