This was not on. Not on whatsoever. Hibernian were in free-falling form, and every week the fans and pundits wondered when they were finally gonna crack their unfortunate streak. The miserable news that attendances were going to be painfully low for the home visit of Aberdeen on Saturday the 26th October did little to lighten spirits around the Edinburgh club's fanbase, if anything only putting even more of a damper on one already mediocre party.

Previously, at Hibernian F.C...

The unwanted run began at home to St Mirren. With Hibernian coming into the game following just one loss from their last five games and their opponents also in excellent form, it was predicted to be a tight match. How wrong could they be.

Even without taking into account the frustrating home record that the Hibees have, the hosts were still getting the game taken to them. By half time the St Mirren strike duo had already combined on two occasions and Hibs already looked dead and buried.

Another three goals followed after the break as fans poured out of the stadium like flocks of sheep, and even Kevin Thomson's and Nuno Gomes' rather lacklustre attempts to start a comeback did little good for the home side, and their goals proved merely a consolation in a resounding 5-2 victory for the visitors. There was no need for the fated panic button just yet, however, as Hibs still occupied a comfortable top half position going into their next match against Inverness.

Before that, though, was the small matter of the Scottish League Cup. Ally McDaid clearly didn't care for this and was more focused on getting his team back on track in the league, as he made 11 changes to his starting line up and narrowly lost 1-0 at home to lower-league side Dundee. Steven Doris, a player Ally McDaid later admitted to having a secret like for, scored the winner near to the end of the game, but this didn't concern the home boss too much.

Next was that tantalising away trip to the Scottish Highlands to face Inverness Caley Thistle. All was well with the world until Ross Draper's goal just before half time (keep note of this, it will become a familiar pattern in the not too distant future) put Thistle in the lead. And then came the real shocking moment.

Goalkeeper Ben Williams decided to throw away any hope of a come-from-behind point by throwing the ball, with no real pressure from any other players, straight at an Inverness player, who coolly finished to seal the game for the hosts. An angry McDaid was said to have thrown insults at Williams in the changing room for his howler, and the poor goalkeeping performances didn't stop there...

Next was an untimely trip to overperformers Partick Thistle in the first of several journeys to Scotland's biggest city. Once again it was a set piece goal, and, once again it came just before half time to give Partick an undeserved lead. In the second half a spill from Williams led to a corner which, once again, Partick capitalised on the slack defending with to score a second.

The scoreline was a total outrage given the balance of play, with Hibs surprisingly only managing a single goal through James Collins' consolation. It was an improvement on the two previous weeks' performances for sure, but it was another loss.

And then came the dread home game versus two-time reigning league champions Celtic. Just a few weeks earlier, Dave Gordain's side had produced an outstanding performance to pull off a major upset by winning 2-0, and back then Ally would surely have felt quietly confident of his team's chances having watched how poor Celtic were on the day.

Now it was a completely different story. Defensive minded tactics were employed to try and get anything out of the game to build on for future reference, and for the first third of the game at least, it looked like they might just work. Celtic were expectedly all over the Hibs in a capacity stadium, but valiant defending from the partnership of Fitz Hall and returning captain James McPake was frustrating the big-spending Celts.

Then came the dreaded set-piece chance, once more just before half time, and would you believe it, Hibernian fell behind. Despite continued work on set piece defending, Ally was once again left frustrated on the touchline, and it worsened in the second half as the predicted Celtic onslaught began. Nuno Gomes once again scored a late goal to try and provoke a comeback, but the damage had already been done, and distraught fans went home in dull moods after watching their team suffer another 3-goal hammering at home.

McDaid's hands were now firmly hovering over the panic button. Four league defeats on the trot, five in all competitions, and six games without even so much as taking the lead had dumped his boys to the relegation play-off zone. Only their near-neighbours' deduction had prevented them from slipping to the bottom of the table. Saturday's game against Aberdeen was more than just a must-win now, it was a win-or-fear-for-your-job. McDaid knew as well as anyone that he would be as well handing in his resumé to the job centre if he lost another home game.

Easter Road Stadium, Edinburgh. Saturday, 26th October 2013. Game day.
The BT Sport commentators sum the situation here at Hibernian sublimely:
"This really is crunch time for Hibernian. Win, and things finally start looking up for Ally McDaid. Lose, and he really starts to feel the pressure, Michael."
"I totally agwee, I mean err they could be five points adrifft by the end of today if they're not carefool," claims the unfortunate figure of Michael Owen.

McDaid is taking big risks for this one. He skips the usual press conference, having made national headlines for storming out of his last meeting with the media following his team's defeat to Celtic. He motivates his team the only way he knows how...by sending his benched captain McPake to do it for him. He garners some gasps from the fans when his teamsheet is announced and they become aware he has chosen a 3-1-2-2-1 formation, last utilised during the ridiculously poor display against St Mirren.

Paul Heffernan earns a rare start, with Nuno Gomes starting alongside him for the first time. James Collins was excusably poor against Celtic and finds himself in the dugout this time around, hoping to be the one to make an impact for sure. And with winger Adrian Luna on visiting leave, having been repeatedly backed for his underwhelming performances by his manager but finding life in Scotland all too hard to adapt to, young star Alec Harris starts at wide right for the second game running, having shined during his first two games for Scotland's U21s, for whom he scored two goals.

Liam Craig, usually an undisputed starter, drops out as Ally prepares a bold move to deploy Reading loanee Jordan Obita on the left flank for his first SPFL start ever. McPake himself's swap has proved to be a controversial one, with many criticising young defender, and subsequent replacement for the Northern Irishman, Rob Kiernan for not really cutting it at this level, but he starts alongside Fitz Hall and Ryan McGiveron in defence.

And the match, played out in front of a below-average crowd of just over 10,000 people as expected, gets underway. The early signs are good and the tactical switches appear to be working, for now at least, as a defensive error allows Heffernan to wriggle free from the defence unnoticed, but his shot, which floats just wide, perhaps shows the poor form and lack of confidence he is suffering from currently, which is why he has been limited to so few appearances all season.

But then all Hibs' hard work suddenly gets undone by one stupid error from that man Heffernan. Scott Robertson surely did not intend to exchange so many simple one-two passes with the Irishman playing up front, but Paul seemed incredibly reluctant to take anyone on, and eventually Aberdeen cut out one of his passes to play a long ball to Scott Vernon, who slams the ball home for a one goal advantage to Aberdeen. The panic button is about to be pressed.

A visibly puzzled Ally McDaid can be seen from a far pondering his way down the home tunnel. Upon entering the dressing room, McPake once again offers to do his best, but for once this is McDaid's turn to go. He shouts at just about anyone he can catch a glimpse of, he furiously scratches notes onto the tactics board, and, crucially, he brings on Collins for Heffernan having taken the final straw.

Tactical genius. The players begin to put their heart and soul into it, and Scott Robertson equalises shortly after half time. The cheers are ringing out, the encouragement is there.
The comeback is on?

Yes it well and truly is. James Collins produces a moment of magic, doing brilliantly to round the keeper and escape the challenge of the defender, and the ball is in the back of the net for a rare Hibernian lead.

Then they defend. And defend. And defend for their lives. It's scrappy, but thankfully Aberdeen have no huge chances to tie the game, and the much-needed victory is sealed. As if things weren't already good enough, Nuno Gomes is centimetres from putting the icing on the cake, as his audacious lob clips the underside of the bar and bounces away to Aberdeen safety. The win is finally here, and boy oh boy is it long overdue.

Six long weeks of misery have been halted.

And here it is, the famous Rab/Eb tag team story. Well done to you both. The writing is gripping and entertaining, the concept is brilliant, and the chemistry is one level above. Definitely on the road to be a classic, especially if you guys can move on to different leagues together. I anticipate a healthy United-Liverpool switch, or something along those lines. Perhaps Spain, Italy, or Germany awaits. Or will Scotland overcome England with both of you on opposite sides of the border?

Keep up the brilliant work, I hope this becomes one of the primary staples of the site.

PS: Don't forget to sign Kiš

Great updates from both of you!
Well done Eb for getting to 0 points and above and well done to Rab for finally winning a game again

Congrats on getting Hearts onto the positive points mark, Eb. Top update, again! As for Rab, I can't hide the fact that your failure to succeed so far has produced class updates. At last you won, however, in a tough game as well! Keep it up, guys

@Pauker, P-Kiddy, Walter: Thanks for all your comments guys, we really appreciate them. And Paddy...watch your back
@Berbatov: Because I needed a picture for my manager and Limmy fits the bill well for how I perceive him to be. I honestly didn't expect many people to notice!
@pompeyblue: Cheers man, appreciate it! Thanks for reading
@tbendis: I blushed a little bit when reading this comment. Thanks a bunch for the praise, and who knows what the future may hold for the both of us. I'd sign Kis if I could, believe me on that

We played Celtic in the quarterfinal of the Scottish League Cup. We had home field advantage once again, and played most of our regular squad as Celtic rotated out most of their squad for this cup affair. Still, it was tough as Ryan Stevenson was being an idiot, taking too many long shots from favorable positions. Late, I subbed him off for Gary Oliver, and he came through huge late in the match, making a great pass then coming forward for another pass, breaking through the defensive line and capitalizing on the chance, and just like last time, Hearts fans celebrated as Celtic was knocked out of the cup, losing 1-0 to Hearts.

That could have been a springboard to more league success, but we came away empty in two chances to slim St. Johnstone's lead above us on the table, drawing away at St. Johnstone, keeping the status quo, and suffering a massive 3-0 away defeat at Aberdeen, where all the bounces went their way, we played better save for a couple of bizarre collapses that looked Hibs-like in their futility. We gained a point at Ross County, both in our total score and against St. Johnstone, and Ryan Stevenson was maddening me with his inability to score and inability to take close shots, instead opting for the long shot.

This came to a head when we traveled to Livingston's ground to play them in the Scottish Cup, I kept cursing at Ryan Stevenson because he kept bombing it into Row Z from 30 yards out. Thankfully, left winger Sam Nicholson picked up the slack and scored the first goal, and then suddenly something amazing happened, as Ryan Stevenson scored 2 goals to put us up 3-0. We totally dominated Livingston, not letting them have any shot on goal, but yet their manager yapped to the media about how we weren't that good, the delusional prick.

During this span, Danny Wilson screwed his back and will miss 2 months, and I made a crucial mistake, not realizing that Scottish contracts are up in May, so after telling AJ Auxerre to go screw themselves after lowball offers for Dylan McGowan, I have lost him to Hellas Verona in Serie A on a free. I am also letting Jamie Walker go on a free, not only did he tear his hamstring, he got injured again in weight training and will miss 3 weeks. I have redone a lot of our players' contracts, however, so Hearts fans shouldn't be too discouraged, and I hope to get some players in on loan during the winter window. I also made my first player signing, Luke Giverin, who was unattached. He is a versatile player who will help with depth, but for some reason he can't play with us until the winter window.

Blackpool has asked about Ryan Stevenson, I hope they make an offer. [Expletive deleted] longshot artist.

Matches Played: 14
Points: 6

Princes Street, Edinburgh. December 2014
It had been a month of pure, raw drama for Ally McDaid and his Hibernian squad. Results on the pitch were certainly showing dramatic improvements since the autumn horror shows. Players had become unsettled, while others were enjoying the form of their careers. Shots had been fired and there had been the occasional spat, but generally squad morale was on the rise. And, to top it all off, the Hibees were beginning to launch a push towards a little enjoyable cup run. Fantastic.

It's coming up towards the holiday season and Ally is taking some time out to do his seasonal shopping. He's never been a man for lingerie but something clearly caught his eye.

It wasn't the skimpy bras or the daring underwear, however, as out of the corner of his eye he spots one of those old-fashioned news stands. It's doubtful that he was even aware that kiosks of that type still existed, but the man working in it is bellowing some rather intriguing news.
"OLD FIRM DERBY RETURNING AFTER TWO SEASONS," the man in the box yells.
With a puzzled look on his face, McDaid walks up to the man and pays for his copy.

As it turned out, Celtic and Rangers had been drawn together in the next round of the Scottish Cup. Of course this is brilliant news for Scottish football fans who had been craving an derby of this sorts for the past couple of seasons, ever since Rangers were demoted to the Third Division, and the fixture is returning to our screens far earlier than initially expected.

But in a way, Ally McDaid looked disappointed with this news. He skim-reads the rest of the headlines on the front page, before scouring the traditional back page reserved for sport, mostly football of course. Nothing. No mention of Hibs' triumph, or Dave Gordain's with Hearts for that matter. And this was an Edinburgh newspaper, too.

This infuriated Ally, no, it upset him. He had been carrying on with things, totally delighted with how his team were playing currently, and the local newspapers couldn't give less of a shit.

Things had to change. Celtic and even Rangers, two tiers below the rest of the league yet still somehow as evenly matched, were getting all the attention. They craved it, it was as if they played just to make the headlines, aside from their large wads of cash that also came with the job. Everyone remembers the infamous eye-catcher Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious yet no-one remembers what Hearts, or Hibernian, or anyone else for that matter were doing on that day.

Now was the time for Edinburgh's two famous rivals to step up, and put their city on the footballing map. They didn't want to steal Glasgow's limelight, so much as share it. Because good things happen to good people, and Ally had been as nice as he possibly can over the past six months, even being referred to by fellow managers as "one of the nicest in football", now it was time for him to reap the rewards.

Previously, at Hibernian F.C...

Things didn't start off too brightly. Following the magnificent turnaround against Aberdeen to claim a first home win of the season, the Hibees and their supporters travelled south to play Motherwell, who had already beaten them once this season. The game had only just started and Hibernian were already greatly on the back foot. Ex-Jambo John Sutton's goals, which came in a 7 minute spell during the opening fifteen minutes of the game, had given Stuart McCall's Motherwell side a commanding lead, and it looked like all the work Ally had put in over the past few weeks was about to be undone in an instance.

But Hibs kept fighting, and indeed, they deserved to be on the score sheet before half time. They would have to wait a little longer, however, as Nuno Gomes' spectacular long rage pearler nested itself into the top corner at the near post on 71 minutes. Hibs were right back in the game, and this time, they had plenty of time to come back in. First sub Zoubir and later James Collins tested Faroese goalkeeper (and infamously the only player from his country to ever have played in a Premier League match) Gunnar Nielsen, but the ex-Man City man was equal to both their efforts. The game finished 2-1 to the home side, and Hibernian travelled home wholly disappointed to have claimed the minimum points available.

But there was no time to mourn the lost points, however, as the following week it was back to Easter Road for a crunch clash with Inverness Caley Thistle. Pre-match, big Terry Butcher and Ally McDaid praised each other, with neither knowing if the other was being truthful, or merely trying to mess their opponent up a little. McDaid praised the football that Tel was implementing and assumed that his side were going to have to play very well to match them, but the match was a very, very different outcome.

Following early pressure from the away side, it was the host's chance to break away, and they capitalised on some neat counter attacking play to set through James Collins. The hitman still had plenty of work to do, however, as he ran from deep inside his own half until he was one-on-one with the goalkeeper, before keeping his cool to put Hibernian 1-0 ahead and on course for a much needed win.

Collins' contributions were not to end there though, as he claimed his second of the match soon after, in similar circumstances to the two goal lead which Motherwell had rushed into through Sutton, before sealing his hat trick shortly after half time. Hibs were in command, contrary to the pre-match billing, and even though James Vincent pulled one back soon after for ICT, the match was dead and buried long before it. Richie Foran scored a second consolation after Nick Ross had been sent off for two yellows, but the match ended in the home team's favour. Get in.

Unfortunately this didn't seem to lighten the spirit of young winger Adrian Luna. Having returned from his month-long absence, presumably back home in Uruguay although one wouldn't be surprised to see him slacking off elsewhere, the right midfielder immediately began to whinge, and whinge, and whinge a little more about his play time. This confused McDaid, who had started Luna in all but three of his matches before his leave, but after his "No hard feelings!" approach had failed, there was nothing to do but transfer list the want-away winger, who even suggested he didn't care about his club football anymore.

But McDaid's not like that. He refused to give in to Adrian's demands and instead let him rot away in the reserves until he had taken a good, hard look at himself in the mirror. Ryan Stevenson followed suit, although this time the transfer-requesting process was far less complicated and thus, Ally agreed to his demands because he asked so politely.

And then it was back to the pitch, with previous 5-2 victors St Mirren returning home for a rematch with the Hibs. Hibernian coincidentally did score two goals and had the lead going into the final few minutes, but they had to come from behind to do it after another goal against them from Steven Thompson. Scott Robertson's first of the season and an own goal from a St Mirren defender looked to have won the Hibs the game in the second half, but for a late John McGinn equaliser to send them home winless. A draw was deserved but it still left McDaid in a questionable mood.

And then came that illusive Scottish Cup tie, where Hibernian had been dealt a tough away duel with Aberdeen. A potentially tough tie saw McDaid opt for a slightly more defensive 4-1-2-2-1, much like the one he had deployed earlier in the season, compared to the attacking display they had craved when at home to Aberdeen. And it paid off.

The home side were in the driving seat for much of the first half, but Hibs were happy to soak up the pressure so long as their defence mopped up behind them. The counter attacking style was almost perfect right before the interval, as Ryan McGiveron fired just over from a very tight angle, but at half time the scores remained goalless.

Soon after the break and news came through that Hearts were leading, and with their rivals already participating in one more domestic cup competition than Hibs, the boys in green were driven to keep their spot in this one. Another own goal from a Hibernian corner handed them the lead with just 10 minutes to play, bringing about an eerie deja vu from the events in Paisley the week before, but this time there was to be no later drama...well, for the home side at least.

Fully into ultra-defensive mode, Hibs managed to scramble the ball up field, and Nuno Gomes' brilliant cross-field ball picked out wonderkid Alex Harris, who sweetly volleyed home for his first senior goal. Hibs were through, as were Hearts, and there was nobody more relieved in the building than Ally McDaid.

And with Luna's replacement performing admirably, it only seemed fitting that the selfish South American pick up a long injury which will see him miss most of January and, crucially, could see him stay at the club for the entirety of the period.

Serves. You. Right.

Nice updates Rab and eb, hopefully you can get into the papers next month.

We went into December hoping to continue our upward surge up the table. We started off against Dundee United, and after taking an early lead, it looked like we would continue winning. Unfortunately, an equalizer and a penalty call later and we had a 2-1 defeat to show for our efforts.

We then hosted Inverness, and after Terry Butcher left them for Leeds United, they needed a new manager. So who did they hire? Of course, Gary Locke, the previous Hearts manager before me. I showed the world that Hearts hiring me was the better move, as we defeated them 1-0, and it gave me great professional pride to beat my predecessor.

Once again, Celtic appeared on our schedule, this time away. After we defeated Celtic twice, and Hibernian defeated Celtic at their own place, I felt cocky, and insulted Celtic manager Neil Lennon in the pre-match presser. Quality quotes include:

Q: Are you looking to surprise Celtic tactically?
A: I wouldn't want to hurt Neil's little brain, so I won't make things too complex for him.

Q: Do you think Neil Lennon is under any sort of pressure for this match?
A: I'm sure Neil's shaking in his little boots, I'm sure he was wishing he was playing Ross County instead.

Q: Who's the weak link of Celtic?
A: Neil Lennon.

And other assorted zingers. Unfortunately, when it came time for the actual match, Celtic won on a questionable penalty, 1-0. We felt hard done, and the papers were praising Celtic like they won the Champions League. Assholes.

I don't really remember how*, but we thrashed Kilmarnock 3-0. but we collapsed at St. Mirren and blew our lead from 2-1 to lose 2-4. We're still in very good shape considering, only 2 points down to St. Johnstone, but every time we have a chance to overtake them we bottle it. In any other season, we'd be battling for continental football, but we're scraping just to avoid relegation.

*The Kilmarnock game was simmed because FM decided to be a jerk and kick me out of the game

Sweet update, Eb. Probably bit off more than you can chew v Celtic but a 1-0 loss isn't convincing on their part. You should be out of the relegation zone in no time

Celebrations, Controversy, Cheating C*nts

First Team Manager's Office, Hibernian Football Club, Edinburgh. 31st December 2013.
Alone in his office, Ally McDaid sweeps everything from the centre of his desk to the edges, kicks back in his chair and puts his feet up for the first time in what must have been months.

It's New Years Eve. Hogmanay, as they call it here. The partying in the city is already well underway, and the endless fireworks are simply unavoidable, wherever you are. It had been a hectic December, with the bloated dreams of Christmas offering little in terms of a break. There had been drama aplenty, goals a-few and anger too much. Tomorrow may be signalling the beginning of a new year, but while the calendar prepares to reset itself, the dramatic world of Scottish football was not going to die down.

Keeping in line with tradition, tomorrow's Edinburgh derby, the second of the season, falls during the holiday season. McDaid's men may well have the bragging rights for another day at least, but tomorrow it was on their own patch.

For most teams, that would be the perfect outcome. Home is where the heart is, they always said, and for this great sport it's supposed to be somewhat of a fortress. But for Hibernian, home form had been a world away from consistent, and with Hearts now out of the red and cleared to play their new signings for the first time, the derby match was going to be all the tougher.

Previously, at Hibernian F.C...

The month of December began with a general sense of rage. And rage. And some more rage.
High-flyers Partick Thistle came to town, looking to claim a second straight win over the Hibees since their return to the SPL this season. Apparently frustrated with the lack of goalmouth action for the vast majority of the game, Thistle decided to take matters into their own hands.

First on the injury list was Kevin Thomson, forced to come off at half time for want-away Lewis Stevenson. Youngster Alex Harris followed suit soon into the second period, and with no other right-sided players on the bench, Jordan Obita was forced to play in an uneasy position. Stevenson himself was next to go down, this time leaving Hibs with just 10 players on the pitch, having risked the use of their third substitute shortly before.

And then, being the dirty unprofessionals that they obviously are, Partick decided to rub it in. By scoring the winner late on. Ally bemoaned the loss to the winning team's manager, but unfortunately there was no going back now. As if trying to make matters worse, Harris was crocked and faces a lengthy spell on the sidelines, just as he began to show little glimmers of form.

Next came the trip every Scottish league manager dreads, the cross-country journey to Glasgow to play Celtic. Last time these two teams met, Hibs had been on the wrong end of a very heavy defeat, and they stood very little chance of avenging this record. Cautious of Celtic's threats, with the exception of Park Chu Young, McDaid favoured the same defensive approach that had cost them so dearly last time around. That's not to say he wasn't up for it, however, and he still found time to ruffle up Neil Lennon a bit.

Lennon, acting all too like a child about to play his friend at that one game they know they always win at, reacted in the most uncalled for manner to McDaid's suggestion that Celtic were overhyped and it was time for another club to make the step up to challenge them.

"Ally is deluded thinking he has a chance. We're going to absolutely crush them," Lennon claims, deadly serious for that matter. "Like we do to every team."

Lennon, whose side did hold a healthy lead at the top of the table but had made an uneasy habit of dropping unnecessary points to teams favoured by few, didn't succeed in unsettling McDaid, although he did at least garner a hysterical laugh from his opposition coach.

As it turned out, Neil's pre-match confidence horrifically backfired on him, and although his high-spending team struck the woodwork early in the game, they did little to lay down their dominance throughout the match. After several big chances went amiss, Hibernian eventually took the lead through assist-king Liam Craig from the spot, and held out with very little hassle for the remainder of the match to seal an unforgettable win and send Lennon into another ridiculous sulk.

McDaid, therefore, felt he was allowed to poke some fun at the beleaguered Celts boss now, and as expected the morning papers were littered with screaming images of the Northern-Irishman having his little hissy fits in the technical area, amidst wild Hibs celebrations. The old firm may again be hogging the sports pages, but at least for a change there was a new club on the block. Definitely something for Ally to smile about.

For the first time this season, Hibernian followed up the win with another of its kind, calmly beating a woeful St Johnstone 2-0 at Easter Road to go clear of their visitors in the table.

But the cheers ended there, and the controversy soon followed. The next match, Hibs were playing out of their skin until Ross County were awarded an incredibly dubious penalty for what looked like a clean, excellent challenge. Nuno Gomes equalised soon after coming on, but it was left to County to win the game minutes from time. Just about everyone watching the game could see that the penalty should not have been awarded and had proved very costly for Hibs, but if McDaid had imagined he could put his anger to bed before long, he would have been wrong.

At the rate things were going, Ally's voice would be braindead within days, so the controversy surrounding the forthcoming Kilmarnock match was all too displeasing. Abdellah Zoubir scored what was a very legit goal to hand Hibs a first-half lead and grab his first for the club, but somehow the linesman and referee combined to rule out the goal. Zoubir had never once strayed beyond the final two defenders, both of whom had played him well onside, and when Nuno Gomes squared the ball to him, his first time finish sparked a great deal of delight.

But somehow, somehow, the goal did not stand. Even Nuno himself had played the ball behind him, so the goal should have stood even if the last two Kilmarnock defenders had been out of sight. Still pleading with the fourth official over the shocker of a refereeing decision, Ally McDaid then watched in awe as Killie scored seconds after the resulting free kick.

Vicious amounts of booing and widespread chants of "The referee's a wanker! were frozen throughout Easter Road for the remainder of the game, as Hibs never really recovered from the disgrace and succumbed to another home defeat, in a game which provided them with three less points than they were owed.

To the Present...

Ally was still not over that assistant's horror show. Recently, he had to be talked out of writing a written complaint about the referee's performance that game in all his expletive fury, only his assistant manager seeing some responsibility in the matter.

Ally does, however, condemn that he is not going to settle for anything other than a verbal apology from that linesman the next time Hibernian met him in a match, although it would be favourable for that meeting to not take place at all "after last time". Probably a Hearts fan.

Jimmy Nicholl enters the room, without knocking of course.
"Coming out for a few drinks, Ally?" he asks, surprisingly looking a little tipsy already.

"Ah, why the hell not! Happy Hogmanay!" McDaid beams, as he clambers up from his desk, rips the yearly team photo calendar from its spot on the wall, precisely moulds it into a ball before tossing it straight into the bin. The expected hectic moments of the SPFL were not going to change, but at least a little drink allows him to reset his emotions.

Neil (Lennon) before us. Nobody underestimates Hibernian.

I see the Edinburgh folk like to poke fun at Neil Lennon and Celtic

New Year's Day in Edinburgh traditionally means a derby, and this season was no different, as we were scheduled to go to Easter Road Stadium on January 1, 2014, to play Hibernian. On the schedule it said "away", but since Hibernian's home form was so poor, it might have been like another home game for us.

I spent the press conference making fun of Ben Williams, the imbecilic goalkeeper for Hibernian, calling him the weak link and asking the media if they've even see him play this year (other than the Celtic miracle, of course). Riling up the media is pretty fun.

The game wasn't as much fun as we expected though. Tempers were tense, and mine flared when Kevin Thomson decided to play rough, and then Callum Paterson scored a goal, but it was called offside. We dominated the stat sheet, but every bit of buildup was ruined by Ryan Stevenson's moronic efforts. Ben Williams seemed to take my criticism and play at a better level, too, not making mistakes in ball distribution this time. We went into halftime, 0-0.

Ryan Stevenson spent the second half still acting like a gloryhounding idiot and ruined any chance of us securing a win. Thankfully, Hibernian played poorly, too, and the final was 0-0, and both sets of fans were disappointed, although some Hibs fans were more realistic and accepted a draw. Right fullback Jack Simpson, who came on as a 21st minute sub for Elliot Ford, who has been revealed to have torn his hamstring and will be out 3 months, made his professional debut, and won player of the match.

Matches Played: 20
Points: 13

New Year's Derby

Wednesday, 1st January 2014. Easter Road Stadium. Edinburgh Derby Round 2.
A nervous Ally McDaid is sitting at his desk, tapping his shaking fingers on the rough draft of the teamsheet. It hadn't struck him until today that so many of his players were injured, or just generally shattered, not least after the New Year's Eve celebrations. It is becoming increasingly tough to just fill a subs bench with players who could actually come on to do a job if called upon.

Fitz Hall: Out. Owain Tudor-Jones: Out. Scott Robertson: Shattered.

There's no chance of a 3-1-2-2-1 today, this is going to be old-fashioned and safe. McDaid hands in his final team list, and he has had no choice but to ask his assist leader Liam Craig to fill in at central midfield and drop Obita into left wing.

The pep talk is nothing out-of-the-ordinary. "C'mon lads, let's put an end to our poor run of form and get one over on Hearts here," bla-de-bla. And then it's time to head down the tunnel, to a vigorous roar of support from both sides, closely followed by the beginning of two hours of non-stop singing.

An embrace of the two managers is closely followed by the screeching of the ref's whistle, and the match is underway. And it's Hearts who begin it the strongest.

Only a few minutes are on the clock and Kevin Thomson is already getting himself wound up, carelessly fouling the Hearts player to hand the away side a free kick. Jamie Hamill is dangerous from this kind of range.

It's clipped into PATTERSON, he sends it past Ben Williams and Hearts have the le...oh no, the flag is up, that must have been very tight. A quick glance across to Dave Gordain tells Ally just how devastated he looks.

McDaid is furiously alternating between the bench and the technical area, one minute he is muttering away to Nicholl, the next he is screaming at Thomson to "CALM THE F*CK DOWN!".

Still in the first half, and Hearts are still in the ascendency. Although Hibs as a unit look happy to soak up the pressure as they stand and wait for their first big chance on the counter, the same cannot be said for McDaid, or Hearts for that matter who are really going for the win here.

Ryan Stevenson, like most of his career, is being a greedy f*cker but Hearts almost take a lead into the break, coming agonisingly close to taking the lead but only finding the post before it is scrambled away by Hibernian.

The half time signal sounds, and it's quite clear who have been the better team.
HEARTS, HEARTS, GLORIOUS HEARTS. IT'S DOWN AT TYNECASTLE THEY BIDE can be heard from what appears to be every corner of the ground, despite the fact that really shouldn't be possible.

If it would take anything to kick Hibs into gear, it would be a half time bollocking from their manager. And boy, does he deliver. There's no screaming, though, nor the famous "hairdryer" treatment. Ally simply makes the boys feel guilty.
"Remember, every time Hearts get the better of you, you're letting me down, you're letting the fans down and you're letting the club down. That is all," he cautions.

And, in the second half, the Hibees are improving, to some extent.

It takes a little while for them to get the chance, but a goalmouth scramble ends only with Nuno Gomes shooting straight into the hands of Jamie MacDonald, as the groans of ten thousand people become apparent.
McDaid turns to Nicholl, his assistant, in the dugout. "Mr Reliable, they call him down these parts. Mr F*cking Reliable," he sighs.

The fans' spirits are certainly gaining a lift, if a small one at that, now and their own songs become louder and more frequent. "Sunshine on Leith" is chanted to a rapturous applause.

The winner for either club, however, just will not come and the match eventually ends goalless. Full of hope, but ultimately lacking the final finishing touch. The same words could be used to describe the quality of Nuno Gomes' finishing on the night.

Back in the changing room, and Ally is doing his best to renew some faith in some aggrieved players. "At the end of the day, we played quite well, definitely an improvement on last week. Let's take the positives of that draw!" he declares...only to see the heads of his players drop and a *tut* from his captain.

For the final time today, Ally McDaid marches out of the dressing room with his assistant manager. "Why do I even bother?"

Fixed the lack of comments.

---

Ouch, unlucky Rab, I guess the players don't care as much as you do. Nice result though