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Unemployment to Stardom. v2

Started on 23 March 2014 by dykie567
Latest Reply on 30 March 2014 by dykie567
  • POSTS24
  • VIEWS7237
dykie567's avatar Group dykie567
10 yearsEdited
A New Beginning?

Bastion HQ: Bravo 2-1 this is Baseplate. Radio check, over.

Bravo 2-1: This is Bravo 2-1, Baseplate. Radios functioning.

HQ: Captain Peterson, nice to hear you. Do you have eyes on the compound?

Peterson: Confirmed. 12 hostiles armed with AK-47's. Less than we were expecting.

HQ: Have you located the target?

Peterson: We have located one unknown heat signature in the Northernmost hut.

HQ: That'll be him. Wait for confirmation from Overwatch, prepare to engage.

Peterson: Confirmed HQ, out.
Just to tell you to make sense of what is about to happen read the last couple of posts on my old story.
An Absolute Shocker of a Year

Now, when your plane crashes in the Atlantic Ocean that isn't fantastic. When you think you're going to die, clinging to a floating bit of wreckage, the sun burning your back, your throat parched and your stomach empty, life is not treating you well. When you see a small island in front of you the happiness you feel cannot be described. Then, when you find that the island's only inhabitants are a load of lizards and spiders your happiness fades.

I thought I would die in the Atlantic, I thought I would die on that island. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die at the hands of these ....... (insert rude word here).

It all started with that offer of a job at Wolfsburg. After a year out I thought I should get back on the horse and where better than the riches of a prominent Bundesliga club? I packed my bags, got a taxi and hopped on the plane. In short, planes crashed, I floated around for a bit, floated some more, and some more, then I washed up on an island.

On the island, as I'm quite the expert on the Sims' Castaway, I built a raft, collected some fruit and water in hollowed out coconuts and drifted out to sea. You are know thinking that, as I was on my own for an extended period of time I would be lonely. However, I was not, I had my trusty football/friend Mitre to keep me entertained.

To cut a long story slightly less long, I hit land after a few days.
My Poor Excuse for a Year: Continued

So, I hit land. Turned out to be Africa, more specifically Sierra Leone. The only things I knew about Sierra Leone is that they hate the British because of our intervention in the Civil War and that it is the nation that Tommy Tejan-Sie belongs to. When I landed I found a "friendly" family who took me in, fed me and gave me a place to sleep. After a couple of weeks, having helped them with their crops to pay them back, I was nearly back to full health.

One day they took me to the town, this message was hard to convey as we communicated only via sign language and facial expressions. However, after 20 good minutes of waving hands and contorting faces we were away. This family seemed to be quite rich as they didn't have to walk like everyone else I saw on the journey. We were taken along in a little cart dragged by the most lethargic donkey I have ever seen.

When we arrived I was suddenly arrested by a load of blokes with turbans. It turned out that the family only helped me to sell me to al-Shabbab, and feeding me made me more healthy, so they got a better price. Besides the fact that I now dislike them thoroughly I have to admire their business model.

Anyway, I was whisked away to a truck and taken across the Sahara to Somalia. From there I was shoved onto a ship and taken to Pakistan, from there I was taken across the border into Afghanistan and locked in a room no bigger than your average garden shed. I was fed (a bit) and watered but those few months were painful, not because of torture or harassment, but because the only entertainment I had was Championship Manager 2009. Barbaric, I know.
My Return Home

Free, at last. Having been rescued from that compound by the Army, I was whisked away to Camp Bastion where I was given a quick medical exam before being flown back to the UK. Whilst on the plane it turned out that one of the men from the rescue team was on his way home as well. It turned out that he had decided to retire from the military because he wanted to be with his newborn daughter more.

I was permanently indebted to Captain James Peterson and we spent the time left chatting about what to do when we got home. He was a mad Gooner, such as myself and so there was plenty to discuss.
Getting Back on the Horse

Having spent a few weeks recuperating the job hunt is on. However in the past year times have changed, a few people recall my name but I'm back to square one. I'm open to any offers with only one condition: minimal air travel.

I was browsing the internet, getting up to date on all of the changes while I'd been on my little adventure when I saw the pretty cool new stadium in Le Havre. Doing a bit of research I noticed that they had just sacked their manager Erick Mombaerts due to him sleeping with the daughter of the chairman. So I thought that I'd apply for the position.
dykie567's avatar Group dykie567
10 yearsEdited

Le Havre Hire Dyke

George Dyke has signed a contract with Ligue 2 team Le Havre AC. Dyke was recently in the press because of his kidnap in Afghanistan but has now decided to put the past behind him and get back to work.

There have been rumours that he could sign the man who rescued him, James Peterson, will become his assistant manager, but rumours have neither been confrimed nor denied.
Peterson Hired!

So I hired James. He'd been struggling to find a job since he left the Army and I owed him so I decided to offer him the job of Assistant Manager. Some people have told me I'm insane, particularly the chairman, however his time in the military has taught him some key skills that could be really put to use in this position.

If I screw this up I'm definitely going to get sacked.
Good luck
Great one mate :) Good luck
but because the only entertainment I had was Championship Manager 2009. Barbaric, I know.

You had me rolling with this one. I can't wait to see what happens.
captainbrickarms - Cheers mate!

uni3s - Thanks for the support, glad you've enjoyed it so far!

Mr. Shjanzey - Haha, will keep updating.
dykie567's avatar Group dykie567
10 yearsEdited
Out With the Old

Transfers Out:

Tarik Bengelloun (AML) - £425,000 to Auxerre

James Fanchone (AMR/ST) - £22,500 to FC Sochaux

Romain Saiss (DM/DC) - £675,000 to LOSC Lille

Geoffrey Malfleury (ST) - Loan to Nimes Olympique

Benjamin Genton (DC) - Loan to Amiens
dykie567's avatar Group dykie567
10 yearsEdited
In With the New

Transfers In:

Welinton: 24 years old, , (DC) - £180,000 from Flamengo.

A large, strong centre back to marshal the defence after the sales of Saiss and Genton. I was cheekily asked by a journalist if I thought that, as he was tipped as a star for the future, his career had stalled. Disgusted that he could even suggest that I stormed out of the press conference.


Adrien Regattin: 21 years old, , (AMR/L) - Loan from Toulouse FC

A young, pacey winger who offers more brute force than players like Bonnet but still has solid technique. Having performed well last season, making 27 appearances and contributing 3 goals, it was a bit of shock to see him on the loan list. However, Toulouse's loss is my gain.


Jean-Paul Boetius: 19 years old, , (AML/R) - Loan from Feyenoord

A very similar player to Regattin. He perhaps doesn't have the same panache as Regattin but will offer a solid backup to Mesloub or Bonnet.


Florian Galley: 19 years old, , (AMC) - Free transfer (previously at Marseille)

So, having scouted him at Marseille, I thought "this guy looks decent". When I saw they had released him my thoughts changed slightly to "what in God's name are they playing at????" Galley looks quality. Not at the moment but give him a few years and he'll be the next Valbuena.

dykie567's avatar Group dykie567
10 yearsEdited
Adam Gilchrist Joins Le Havre

Just kidding.

It's this guy.

Free transfer (previously at Chelsea)

OK, first Galley, now Gilchrist. I'm beginning to think that the managers of decent teams are all insane. He is definitely going to be up there with the best in a few years.

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