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A Spaniard Walks into a Pub in Dublin...

Irish Football Goes International
Started on 21 April 2014 by CarlosV96
Latest Reply on 24 April 2014 by Jer
  • POSTS16
  • VIEWS7576
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May 12th, 2013



I swing open the pub doors, two giggling Irish girls following me. The place is called O'Donoghue's, or O'Halloran's, or something to that effect. As I order a pint of the pub's finest ale in my thick Spanish accent, I consider my life.

My name is Enrique Vasquez, and I'm thirty years old. I grew up in the great city of Sevilla, a mere five minute walk from the Estadio Benito Villamarin, home of Real Betis.

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Yes, I do bear a striking resemblance to some American actor named Brad Pitt. People always ask me about someone named Angelina, though the only Angelina I've ever known was the neighborhood prostitute in Sevilla...

In my youth, I trained with Betis' two-bit academy, but a knee injury at age sixteen limited me to Sunday League football in Spain.

At age twenty-one, I garnered some national attention in papers such as Marca and As when Betis' B team took me on as their manager. I became the youngest ever manager in the history of Spanish football.

While the recognition and record felt great, the actual on-pitch side of things sucked. I hated the club I'd grown up loving, I hated the players, and I hated the bush league fourth division we were in. I resigned after two seasons, and we were promptly relegated to the fifth tier of Spanish soccer the following season.

I've spent the last seven years traipsing around the lower divisions of various European countries' domestic set-ups. I've had stops in Germany (Duisburg), Italy (Nettuno), and England (Telford United). None have lasted more than six months, and my career as a football manager seems to have hit rock bottom.

Which is why I'm here, in god-foresaken Ireland. The economy is in the toilet, the national team is dead in the water, the domestic league is practically amateur. But maybe that's why I'm here.

As the giggling underage girls try to slap their ridiculous drink tab on me, I stare idly into my half-empty glass of Guinness, eyes watering- not because of the alcohol.

I'm here. Time to start circulating those resumes mama made me last year after Telford United fired me...




Love it so far, I've also just started a new story please take a look http://www.fmscout.com/q-12333-Wenger-finally-goes.html#170850

I wish you all of the best with your new club and those to girls
CarlosV96's avatar Group CarlosV96
10 yearsEdited
June 7th, 2013
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The sun sets over Drogheda as I stand at the away end of the local football pitch. I've stumbled my way into the Northeastern corner of Ireland, for better or worse.

You could call this a calculated career move, coming to Ireland, but you could just as easily call it the soul-searching adventure of a desperate, broke Spaniard.

I sit here and contemplate the meaning of life- of mama, back home in the little apartment in Sevilla. Of Anne, the giggling ginger that I met last night at the pub in southern Drogheda. Of my late father, Pablo, always teaching me the intricacies of the game that came so naturally to him.

I pause a moment, thinking of my father. He died prematurely, at age 55. I was only thirteen when he passed, but in the painfully short time I spent in the same apartment as my idol, he taught me essentially all he knew about the game. He starred for the hated Sevilla back in the late 50s and early 60s- I remember as a kid walking through the strongly pro-Betis neighborhood with him, and he'd get heckled by these old farts, just ripped to pieces.

Rivalries ran deep in Spain, especially during that time.

...

As I stare out at this pathetic little pitch, in a pathetic little country, I hear something behind me-


"Hello," I call out to nobody in particular.

Then suddenly I feel a warm gust of wind on my back, and spin around.

"What the-"



Standing there, in the flesh, directly in front of me, is my father. But not my father as I knew him. It was 20 year-old Pablo Vasquez, with a tattered, old-style football at his feet.

"Want to kick about? It's a beautiful evening," he asks me quickly in his distinct, albeit less worn than I remember, voice.

"Wh-...why yes, I would," I stammer, very shaken.

We begin to kick about on the pitch, as the sun sets over Ireland, and the setting overcomes me. I began to tear up as I look at my youthful father, in a time and life that I never knew him.

"Papa, why are you here," I ask, finally mustering the courage to ask what I've been wanting to since he appeared.

"Papa? I'm Pablo Vasquez, I play for Sevilla, I'm twenty years old! I don't have any children," he beams, his youth betrayed by his hardened features, acquired from many a fistfight on the poverty-stricken streets of Teruel.

Playing along, I ask him,"Of course, my mistake. What brings you to Ireland?"

"My club, Sevilla, are here on a United Kingdom tour! We're hoping to get scouted, and potentially come play in England for clubs like Manchester United," he smiled, completely unaware.

"Ah. I'm a manager you know, I actually grew up in Sevilla," I say, barely holding back tears as I realize that my father does not know who I am.

"Excellent- you must be a Sevilla fan, yes," he eagerly anticipates.

"Erm, no. I lived five minutes from Benito Villamarin, and therefore am a Betis fan by proximity!"

Jokingly, he turns his back on me, hurting me more than this young, lively version of my father could ever know. "Los Beticos are terrible! They haven't won in over a decade..since '47 if I recall correctly!"

With that, I could no longer take it. I snapped,"Tu estas mi padre, pero una forma mas joven! You are my father! I am your son, Enrique!"

Suddenly, he faded away, into thin air.

Where did he g-

"Oi! Sonny! You gonna stand there all day or are ye gonna let me lock up for the night," cried an old man in a Claret-and-blue jacket. "I gotta lock up lad, why don't you run along? If ya come back tomorrow maybe I can get you a trial with United," he cackled maliciously.

"I was on my way out you prick," I angrily retort. Some people.

As I make my way to the stadium exit, I glance up and see a tiny, rusted sign- Drogheda United, Est. 1975.

Hm...I wonder if they received one of my CVs that I sent en-masse...







Nice start, good writing style! Keep it up! :D
July 2nd, 2013
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I walk towards the grandstand at the field which is called United Park, drinking in the scene.

It's early-morning, maybe 7:30. The birds are singing, the air is surprisingly crisp on this warm summer morning.


"Laddy, I've given up kicking you out. You might as well help out around here, if you're gonna stride in at any hour of the day," yells the man I've come to know as Alastair O'Halloran, the groundskeeper at United Park. "Grab the line-painter and go put down some lines. The senior side have a big, fancy European match in two days' time!"

Momentarily digesting that a European match was going to be played on this sorry excuse for a pitch, I snap into action, eager to please Alastair, who's been letting me stay in the converted groundskeeper's storage room. "Hey Alastair, how is the senior side doing," I ask, remembering that the Irish domestic leagues run year-long from February until October.

"Well it's been decent so far laddy, but you haven't heard the news?"

"What news," I ask, completely unknowing.

Suddenly, he whips out a wrinkled newspaper, and hands it to me. "Read, boy."


"Wow. I'm so sorry, I hadn't heard. Was he at Drogheda long?"

"Aye, he played for the Drogs in the early 90s for some time. Came back in February of 2011 to be assistant manager, and then took the reins not long after. Definitely a fan favorite, and a massive loss for our wee club," Alastair frowned, tears welling at the corners of his eyes.

"You said the squad have a match...in two days? Have they found a manager? How's the squad?" I was brimming with questions about my new town's club. How were the players holding up? The loss of their manager must've been such a blow...

I couldn't help tearing up a little myself as I stared into the Irish sky...


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July 3rd, 2013
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What an incredible turn of events! While I was lining the pitch yesterday at United Park, the Drogheda United chairman himself, Jim Agnew, began talking to me.

He rambled on and on about what a great manager Robbie Horgan had been, how devastated the supporters and, especially, the players were. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the old Irishman.

When I asked him about the European match that was coming up, he broke down. "We don't even have a manager or a captain," he sobbed.

When I told him I was a manager, you should have seen his eyes perk up! I mean, it wasn't exactly a lie...I've just never managed a fully professional squad before! It was just a little white lie...

Well guess what? He didn't even ask for my CV. He offered me an interim position as the manager of Drogheda United.

I certainly couldn't say no, so I accepted on the spot. That was yesterday, and now here we are today at my introductory press conference- things are moving pretty quickly!


"...And with that, it is my great pleasure to introduce to you, the new interim manager of Drogheda United, Enrique Vasquez," Jim finished, clapping me on the back as I stand up.

"Sorry to you three fine gentleman that showed up to this little presser today," I chuckle, "But I've got to get to my players. They have to play their biggest game of the season in approximately twenty-four hours, and I would be making a grave mistake if I didn't go to talk to them as soon as possible. Therefore, I will simply read a prepared statement that I wrote last night:

It is a great honor for me to be named manager here at Drog-"


"Interim!" shouts the chairman Agnew from the seat next to me. The reporters chuckle.

"The interrrrrrim manager here at Drogheda. I am very saddened by the circumstances under which I take control of the club. Robbie Horgan was a great manager, and the things he did for this club are things I only aspire to do. I know this club and this community are going through a difficult time, but I believe that we can come together over the one thing that brought us all together in the first place- football.

The board has given me a decent wage budget (3K), and I hope to finish the job Mr. Horgan and his charges began the season with- finishing comfortably outside of the relegation zone, preferably mid-table.

This job will not be easy, but I believe in the squad. We've got some good veterans and some decent youngsters, which will make my job very interesting.

I look forward to my time here with the Drogs, and I hope that I can eventually lead this club to Irish League glory!"


As I conclude, I can hear Agnew snickering next to me. What's his problem? Can't any 'wee' club in Ireland make a run at the league title? Maybe not this season or next, but I believe in the Drogs!

"Tomorrow's pre-match press conference will take place at 9AM at the Swords Community Stadium, where we will play tomororw's home match against Bulgarian side Levski Sofia," announces Agnew.

First match in charge, and it won't even be a true home game? FANTASTIC...







Squad Overview

Goalkeepers
David Ryan - 25 -
Michael Schlingermann - 22 -

Left Back
Shane Grimes - 26 -

Center Back
Alan McNally - 30 -
Paul Andrews - 23 -
Ciaran Cluskey-Kelly - 17 -
Ciaran O'Connor - 18 -

Right Back
Domonic Mahon - 17 -

Defensive Midfielders
Michael Daly - 24 -
Gavan Holohan - 22 -

Left Mid
Gavin Brennan - 25 -

Center Mid
Eric Foley - 23 -
Paul Crowley - 32 -
Daire Doyle - 32 -
Austin McCann - 28 -

Right Mid
Cathal Brady - 26-

Strikers
Declan O'Brien - 34 -
Phil Hughes - 31 -
Gary O'Neill - 31 -
Carl Walshe - 19 -


--------------------------

Bring on Levski Sofia!
Pre-Match Press Conference- July 4th, 2013 (H) Levski Sofia
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Wow, big crowd. Nine whole journalists. Let's get this started...

"Alright, one at a time please."

"Conor Mahon, Irish Football Review, do you feel this season's expectations are fair and realistic?"

"Yes, I think this club has the horses, especially up front, to get us into a comfortable mid-table position. The board and I agree on what the goals need to be going forward for this club."

"The players have been off for 24 days- do you think that will affect them?"

"No, not at all. They needed time to grieve the sudden passing of their last manager, and I think they will be raring to go today."

"Igor Hristov, Bulgarian Football Press, some people think your side could produce a mammoth upset against a fully professional squad. Is it possible?"

"In my short time here in Ireland, I've begun to believe in the supernatural and unexpected. These kids will be fired up and rest assured they will be prepared come kick-off."

"Are you confident you can at least get a result at home in front of your supporters?"

"Yes. The last three weeks have been very trying for the players, the club, and the community. Later today they will come together and I'm confident they will surprise all of Europe against the Bulgarian giants we've been drawn against."

"Michael Hawkins, FourFourTwo, do you really expect your tiny semi-professional club to make a run all the way to the Europa League group stage?"

"All we can do is try, right Michael?"

With that, I rose from my chair, thanked the journalists, and headed for the club lounge. We had a game to prepare for.
This is a really awesome story so far. I hope you keep it up.
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Welcome to Setanta Sports' live coverage of this Europa League qualifying match between Drogheda United and Bulgarian giants Levski Sofia.

We're coming to you live from Swords Community Stadium, home for all of Drogheda United's European matches.

Here is the line-up that very newly-minted Drogs manager Enrique Vasquez is going to run out today in his debut:


Drogheda United (4-4-1-1)
GK - David Ryan
LB - Shane Grimes
CB - Paul Andrews
CB - Alan McNally
RB - Michael Daly
LM - Gavin Brennan
CM - Daire Doyle
CM - Gavan Holohan
RM - Cathal Brady
CAM - Declan O'Brien (C)
ST - Gary O'Neill

They'll be opposed by Levski Sofia, who finished strongly in 2nd during the Bulgarian "A" Group season in 2012-13. Levski are bolstered by imports Rafael Bastos and Larsen Touré, however Touré will miss today's match with a sprained MCL. Here is how Levski will line up today:


Levski Sofia (4-4-2)
GK - Iliev
LB - Gavazov
CB - Koev
CB - Dankov
RB - Mulder
LM - Rafael Bastos
CM - Gadzhev (C)
CM - Shopov
RM - Ivanov
LST- Bojinov
RST- Genkov

Levski enter today's match as strong favorites, and are easily one of the most talented teams involved in the First Qualifying Round of the UEFA Europa League.

We'll take a short break and come back with kickoff from Ireland!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1' - O'Brien passes it to O'Neill and Drogheda get us underway! Should be an excellent match on a seasonably warm Thursday evening here in Ireland.

18' - Plenty of midfield control for the Bulgarian visitors thus far, but no chances to show for it- here comes Bastos, sprinting down the left flank for Levski, CROSSES IT FOR BOJINOV--
EXCELLENT SAVE BY RYAN! He keeps the hosts level, denying Bojinov on the doorstep!

22' - Ivanov floats in a corner for Levski...headed out, only as far as Gazanov WHO FIRES--
Another quality save from Ryan!

24' - Now Declan O'Brien steps up to take a dangerous free kick for Drogheda, at the edge of the Levski 18. O'Brien runs up, CURLS IT--
Just over the bar from O'Brien!

43' - Bastos plays it to the edge of the 18, he finds Bojinov. Bojinov spins off his man, SHOT--
It grazes tbe top of the bar and goes over! So close from the visitors!

45+2' - That will do it for the half, as the Andorran referee blows his whistle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I storm into the change room, flipping the refreshment table.

"Come on you fools! This is the biggest game of your season! There are over three thousand supporters out there who came because you mean something! You mean something to this town, you are this town. Now go out there, and make Horgan proud!"

With that, captain and elder statesman Declan O'Brien stands up, shouting, "Let's do it for Robbie! Gone too soon lads, let's win this for Robbie!"

While all the lads got riled up and walked out of the change room, I pulled Declan aside.

"While you are my captain, I've made some tactical moves. I'm subbing you out for Walshe."

"Are you thick? The kid's still wet behind the ears."

"Don't make a scene, Declan..."

And there my captain went, storming out after his teammates, blubbering like a little girl. Some leadership.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

45' - Welcome back to Setanta Sports' live coverage of this Europa League qualifier between Drogheda United and Levski Sofia! We're all square after one half of play, though shots are 9 to 1 in favor of the Bulgarian visitors. Drogs manager Enrique Vasquez made two changes at halftime, bringing on youngster Carl Walshe and former Shelbourne striker Phil Hughes have come on to form the final two in a new-look 4-4-2. Vasquez is clearly looking for more offensively from his squad. Levski kick us off and we're underway from Ireland!

46' - Immediately Drogheda win a free kick, from about thirty-five yards out. It appears Brennan is going to float this into the box on a high cross, with five Drogs players huddled at the edge of the 18. Quickly taken by BRENNAN TOWARDS GOAL--
Iliev gets a fingertip to it to push it over! Corner to Drogheda!

47' - The Drogheda corner's whipped into the box...and cleared away easily by Rafael Bastos.

51' - Now on the counter here come Levski, it's Tsonev! Tsonev, plays a high ball over the top, BOJINOV RUNS ONTO IT- IN CLEAR ON GOAL-
AND HE FINISHES! Valeri Bojinov puts the visitors up, 1-nil!

56' - Bojinov is sent in again on the clear for LEVSKI-
But he's denied by a superb fingertip stop from David Ryan! What a match for Ryan!

63' - There's Ivanov in the midfield, Ivanov, circles past his marker, sends a through ball for Bojinov- He's got it- Bojinov in alone on goal--
Another spectacular save by Ryan!

69' - Drogheda starting to roam dangerously far forward here, they're vulnerable on the counter.

70' - Hughes sends a ball into the box FOR WALSHE-
But he can't latch onto it, and it rolls harmlessly into the arms of Iliev.

71- - Away comes Bastos, quickly, for Levski. Pacing down the right flank, he strides past the Drogheda defender, keeps running towards the corner, what a run from Bastos here as he CROSSES-
AND THEY SCORE! Valeri Bojinov with his second of the match, a powerful header off of an excellent cross from Bastos, and this one is surely in the bag now for Levski!

73' - Bojinov is yet again released here for Levski! He streaks in alone on Ryan, SHOOTS-
Another fantastic save from the Drogheda keeper! He's keeping this scoreline respectable!

78' - Now it's Tsonev in alone behind the Drogheda defenders, yet another breakaway for Levski-
Ryan makes an awkward-looking shin save!

84' - Now here's Gadzhev on the right flank for Levski, Gadzhev, holds, holds, CROSSED-
Excellent save on the header by Bojinov! Rebound pops loose--
AND BOJINOV MAKES IT THREE! A hat trick for Valeri Bojinov as he buries his own rebound, 3-nil Levski!

87' - Hughes plays a long-ball for Walshe, Walshe latches onto it at the edge of the Levski 18...Walshe spins, FIRES--
And grazes the post, but it stays out! So close from the hosts!

90+3' - Iliev launches a big kick up into the night sky, and the referee blows for full time, that's all from Ireland tonight, as Drogheda United fell quite a ways short in their upset bid, losing 3-nil at home thanks to a treble from Levski's Valeri Bojinov.

---------------------------------------------------------


Post-match presser

"Jamie O'Houlahan, Dublin Free Press, why couldn't you get anything going against Levski offensively?"

"Well, Jamie, what you saw out on the pitch tonight was the difference between an above-average professional team and an above-average semi-professional side. The fitness, the sheer skill, there were two different calibres of team on the pitch here tonight.

"Bryce Cuffernan, Drogheda Daily Mail, speak of what an important match this was for the players and supporters."

"Thanks Bryce. It was a massive game for the players, and the town as a whole. We played our hearts out, I was extremely pleased with the effort level and work rate the lads showed after being off for more than three weeks. To come back with that kind of enthusiasm and effort, after everything they've been through, is a testament to the character of each and every member of the club. The supporters were excellent, loud until the final whistle, and we know we have the best supporters in Ireland right here with Drogheda."

"Enrique, a difficult loss for you, but there was never any doubt as to the result from the opening kickoff. How good was Valeri Bojinov tonight?"

"Well, he scored a hat trick. He was unplayable. We tried marking him all sorts of different ways, and nothing worked. The remarkable service he got from Bastos helped, for sure. Bastos' balls were the key for Levski tonight."

"Tommy Harrington, WorldSoccer.com, your side did not muster a single shot on target. Any concern going forward, with the St. Pat's match in three days' time?"

"No Tommy, I'm not concerned at all. We played a side today that is 100 times better than any side we will face in the Irish Premier Division, and I am not concerned about this loss being a sign of anything to come domestically."

"Final question?"

"Enrique, Gord Bronwyn, Dublin Expositor, are you afraid of how bad the scoreline might be when you travel to Sofia for the meaningless second leg?"

"No. Nikolay Mitov and I have a mutual respect for one another, and I don't think the scoreline will get too out of hand. I've got a tactic in my backpocket which I think will help reduce their scoring chances. Thanks everybody."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank god that's over. We never had a chance against an import-laden pro squad. The first thing we need to do is improve our defense, then the midfield. Then we can discuss turning pro, or building up our stadium, or developing our youth system.

Who am I kidding, I'm only here as an interim manager.


I take a look at my phone, and see a text from the chairman, Agnew.

"Meeting tomorrow with board, 10AM sharp. Be there, not a minute late."

Uh oh, I think to myself when I feel a hand ON MY BACK-
An interesting start! Enjoying this so far and keep up the nice detailed updates. Unlucky in your first game! :P

Unbelievable. We did it. We won a match.

725 fans nestled into cozy Richmond Park, 650 of them traveling to support us.

It was fantastic- I experimented with a new type of 4-3-3, with three strikers, attempting to utilize our excellent depth up front. It paid off massively.

Gary O'Neill got it started for us, slotting home a calm penalty on 19 minutes.

Our leader and captain, Declan O'Brien, made it two-nil for us just before halftime when he headed home a brilliant cross.

He buried his second of the match in the 55th minute, potting a rebound.

They scored a consolation goal in the 79th, but it was too little too late.

Nobody expected us to win the match, heck St. Pat's were 4-5 favorites, but we pulled it off.

From here on out, since I can't really afford to buy solid defenders, I'll just have to depend on my quality strikers to pull through!

I really am ecstatic, just sitting here on the pitch staring dumbly at the now-empty stands.


"Soy aqui para ti," whispers a voice behind me.

"Wha!?!" I stammer, not quite comprehending my own mother tongue for a moment. Did that voice say it's here for me?

"Soy todo el tiempo aqui para ti."

Seriously freaked out, I spin madly in circles, trying to pinpoint the source of that youthful, yet sad Spanish voice.

"Where are you? What do you want? Papa, is that you?"

"I'm with you in spirit, my son. Always. Excellent win..."

With that, I fully collapse onto the pitch, and mercifully black out...

St. Pat's Athletic (A) 3-0

Very rattled to announce that this save file has been corrupted. Very, very rattled.

Thanks for those who read and commented, I was really excited to see where this story could've gone.
You should do another one!
I clicked on this story for the first time today and was absolutely loving it - it was heartbreak when I saw that the save corrupted. I really hope you do another story.

You are reading "A Spaniard Walks into a Pub in Dublin...".

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