Alan Pardew walks

Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew has sensationally walked out on the club after several high profile run ins with owner Mike Ashley, Pardew has released a statement to the press
"Im hear to announce my resignation from Newcastle United because i cant bear being around that fat f#%k Mike Ashley anymore, hes doing nothing but running this marvellous club into the ground, i wish the club and most importantly the fans all the best for the future, good luck to the next manager"
Meanwhile in Australia
and the referee blows for full time!! thats it Belconnen Blue Devils have won their 3rd NSW premier league title in a row, manager Shane Swanston has done a great job with this team of semi professional footballer.
as i walked toward the dressing room i recieve phone call from a private number, 'who could this be' I said to myself

Hello, whos this?
its Newcastle United Chairman Mike Ashley, i just wanna congratulate you on winning the NSW Premier League and would like to personally fly you out to our Benton training ground for further discussion, ill send my private jet out to get you, be ready at 6am tomorrow morning at Canberra airport
"ok ok ok, ill see you later on tomorrow i guess", and I hung up
am i about to be appointed as Newcastle United manager? surely not, i guess ill see tomorrow. me and the lads continued to party long and hard into the night