DNU - OLD

Club One

Dear Mr Martinez, We are very much interested in securing your services if our manager leaves at the end of the World Cup , although we performed very poorly at the World Cup we would like you to know the potential in our young vibrant squad is very high. This has been demonstrated by our spirited performances by certain individuals , including a variety of players you know extremely well. We will expect you to qualify for Euro 2016 and use the potential of our nation to gain us the success that the nation demands

Club Two

Dear Mr Martinez, Following your resignation from Everton , we would like to move quickly to secure your services. We are an upcoming Dutch team with many young players that we believe you can make some of the best players in the world. Our manager left us last week to take over a premier league team. We are happy to give you £10 Million and we will allow you full use of the excellent youth facilities and great training facilities. We will send a representative to meet you at Amsterdam Airport , and drive you to our training base outside of Rotterdam later tomorrow if you accept our offer of the interview.

Club Three

Good Evening Roberto, To keep it short we've just been taken over in the A-League and would like you to maintain our challenge. We have good affiliations with Manchester City and will get a high majority of their young upcoming players to play for us every year. We realise you may not value a move this early in your career but we can offer you Asian Champions League football and the views and scenery will be perfect for your wife. Our offer is open until the end of the 2013/14 season.

Club Four

Hi, Roberto, it is time for you to return home , we've followed your whole managerial career and would like you to come manage us. We have had many years of dominance here in Spain and believe you are the right man to put us back top of La Liga. The Club is a very much world leading club and can offer you a large budget of £50 million to move here. We will supply a Porsche and a penthouse in the Catalunya area. We may have a slightly ageing squad but I believe we have the best youth system in Europe , Sergi Roberto and Dongou stand you in good stead for the future. We have organised a trip to Florida for you to discuss personal issues , if you don't agree , we have sent the tickets through the post for you and your wife to enjoy a two week trip at your convenience.

Club Five

Roberto, this is simply an enquiry , we are a very high profile team in Germany and would like to invite you to a tour of the club. Unless you knew Jurgen Klopp had agreed in principle to take over the head coach role of Juventus. We can offer you £17.25M and a generous wage budget. We would like you to challenge for the title.In principle we have agreed the following pre season fixtures:
Ajax (A)
Sporting (H)
Halvese (A)
Nantes (A)
Friendly Cup (Leicester , Nimes and Reggina)
Lazio (A)

You are the only manager on you shortlist , We have booked tickets to Dortmund airport and they'll be found in your post tomorrow morning. We look forward to meeting you Roberto , have a good day.

Offer Six

The offer six wasn't from a club , it was from my wife Beth, unknown to me Sarah was her personal trainer and she had describe the night of passion she had with me to her. Que 50 abusive texts , screaming and shouting , tantrums and the bitch hitting me. Beth is a really sweet girl but she wasn't the best romantic person she didn't understand what I meant by my love of football and she'd often moan that I wasn't there when she needed me most. In fact I only met Sarah when Romelu took me to see his private gym and my good she was beautiful , tall blonde and extremely well toned , we started talking immediately and it carried on to a couple of so called dates , we moved in together at the back end of the season , Beth understood I had stopped loving her but she didn't realise I had moved on behind her back. Of course I accepted and have now began planning life with Sarah.

The Decision

I strolled around the city centre looking for Costa Coffee , where I'd be meeting with Sarah and my agent Javier Silva. The heavens opened , a taxi flew door slammed , Sarah walked upto be me and grabbed my hand. She whispered " Roberto make me proud , make us proud , choose somewhere that we can have family ".

I met Javier in the corner of the coffee shop. He dwelled and looked at me , my eyes bloodshot , my hair scruffy , I hadn't shaved in a week. The tiredness oozed from my veins , wow , just wow , 6 contracts , 1 manager , 1 life changing moment. I read through them carefully , making sure every detail was as quoted in the emails , my phone buzzed alas Sarah had forgotten her key and needed me to get back to the house as soon as possible. I grabbed the pen and signed one of the contracts , Javier will deal with the rest , he'll tell the clubs that I've kindly declined but first me and Sarah had a trip to Florida to enjoy for two weeks.