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Buckinghamshire Bisons: A Club of Crime, Conspiracy and Dishonesty

You may remember me. I used to manage Oxford until Gareth Pack came along. He wanted me to join his new club. But Danny Rose got in the way. It's all sorted now, though. And what a good season it should be.
Started on 15 July 2014 by OUFC2k14
Latest Reply on 22 July 2014 by OUFC2k14
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10 yearsEdited
EDIT: If you're not already familiar with the story, catch up here:

You only really need from Page 2 downwards, but feel free to read from the start if you wish.

Major News as Oxford United Manager Adam Woodage Resigns

After just a couple of months in the role of manage at Oxford United , it is reported today that the U's boss will be moving to a new club financed by a local consortium. It is reported that he was unhappy in his role at Oxford and, when the offer came along, he was more than happy to inform Lenegan and hand in his notice.

The players will, I'm sure, be very sorry to see such a seemingly dedicated manager leave his role so early from a club which really did have potential. It is unclear as to whether or not the recent circumstances surrounding the disappearance of Danny Rose has cause any distress to Woodage over the past few weeks.

The new club are going to be based in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire and will originally recieve a cash injection from the board believed to be in the region of £10m. Most of this will go towards buying kit, registering as a club and of course building the club in addition to the players. It is also believed the new team will start in Skrill Premier.

This is very exciting times for Woodage, and here at BBC Oxford we will continue to cover his progress.
Wow . I thought, as I made the short journey to Bucks Bisons’ training ground for the first time. This is it. A deal that had been weeks, months even in the making had all boiled down to this. Officially, manager of Bucks Bisons. Unofficially, something much, much more sinister.

I turned off onto a wide, American style road flanked by hedges just off a conservative grey pavement. From here, it was clear that the training facilities were impressive. Of course, they were modern. But they were also sophisticated. Sleek. Yet complex and High-Tec. Immediately I noticed a few of the outbuildings on the sight, each seemed to contain a laboratory style room alongside a much more attractive office leading through.

There were, obviously, no players, though. That was going to be my biggest challenge. I’d literally been handed a wad of cash, and was expected to turn it into players. And not just any players. But sustainable, multiple promotion getting players. Challenge accepted.
I parked up, locked the car and headed for what I thought was the front entrance. After a brief and friendly chat with the receptionist, I headed out to meet the man fronting this new project: club president, Gareth Pack. Like me, Gareth was fully aware of the real reason this football club had been summoned out of thin air, but, also like me, he was here to do a job. That job remained solely on the pitch. And off it, of course. But all football related.

Gareth had to be seen to have a decent amount of wealth. He did, as well: for a while back, he was managing director of Audi, more recently he took over as CEO at Hewlett-Packard and, shortly before retiring at the ripe old age of 46, owned his own business analysis company, working with the likes of Nestle, Coca-Cola and even Apple.

He sat at the table with piercing green eyes and a look that gave you the impression he was not just watching, logging your every move, but analysing it. Processing it through the large and super intelligent CPU that was Gareth’s brain. His hair was black. Nothing eccentric; relatively short, but not ‘chav’ short. He had the look of an efficient, purposeful worker who knows what he needs to do and how to do it.

I assume that was why he was chosen. He clearly had experience with regard to the law, whether for or against… he just gave you that feeling. The sort of thing that sends shivers through your body. I spent a while contemplating the man sat in front of me, and, as I stared shallowly into his black coffee, I was rather startled by his start to the discussion.
Great twist....can't wait to see what lies in waiting for you, as this business seems abit dangerous lol

Opening Speech

‘Today, the club are delighted to welcome Adam Woodage as our new manager. Adam has a wealth of experience in the football world and we have been looking forward to seeing more of him since our initial interview a couple of months ago. As I’m sure many of you are aware, we are still currently player less. This shouldn’t remain a problem for long given Adam’s contacts in the footballing world.

We would like to thank Adam very much for leaving such a secure position at a club he loves so much to take a two-tier step down. I think this shows everyone who is interested in following Bucks Bisons over the coming seasons that they have a manager in charge who is passionate about success and yet will loyally stick by the club no matter what happens on the pitch.

His desire, though, and hunger for success will not only drive his players over the next year, but it will also drive himself to perform to the absolute up most of his abilities. The board and I give Adam our full backing and we are looking forward with great anticipation to the success he can field for us over the coming seasons.

Thank you very much.’

I still can’t believe it. It’s actually going to happen. I don’t know whether I should be nervous now, or excited. Gareth and the board have stated their belief in me, but they also expect some pretty impressive results on the pitch for a team that currently yields a squad of zero. I’ll give it my all, though. As I would any job. And, hopefully, somewhere amongst the rough, I can pick out that hidden gem that propels us up the tiers of English football and ultimately to where we need to be.

A Transformation

We need 20 players, give or take, for the first team. Another 15 for the reserves as well. So now is as good a time as any to get started. The office has been manic, but it’s been productive. We’ve put in 7 or 8 bids, and you can find some of our first picks below. I won’t give an exhaustive list as some players are purely just in there to make up numbers, but here’s the bulk:
I have been graced by the new owners with a very generous wage/transfer budget. At this moment in time, I think we all have to put ethical matters aside, focus on the match and just see how it goes.

There are a couple of real stars in this transfer set, especially goalkeeper Etheridge and on loan striker Eccleston. I took some of the youngsters from Oxford, my old club and I’m looking forward to learning some new faces. The best part of this newly constructed team, though, is the balance between youth and experience.

I’m really looking forward to seeing this team shine over the next few weeks, we have a lot of high quality players and we’re going to make them count .
This story gets better and better!
Amazing......I'm hooked
Captain Brick Arms:
The Real Deal:

Cheers guys, the support is appreciated :)

Family Life

Now that things have started to settle down a bit here, I suppose it’s a good time to mention a bit about my private life…
Just before this takeover fiasco took centre-stage, I found, quite simply, the love of my life. In all seriousness, Lauren Brown is the most attractive girl I have ever met. We’ve been together for what, about 7 or 8 months now. It all started at a nightclub in Oxford one night and, since then, things have really taken off. She comes over 4 or 5 times a week at least… that might have to be a bit more soon, though.

I know it sounds sudden, but a couple of months ago, Lauren told me that she was expecting a baby. It was the best news of my life. Being a football manager has its perks, but it leads quite an isolated life in general so to be able to add somebody else to the cards, another social spectrum is just sublime. If my sources are correct, the baby should be due around February time… we haven’t spoken to the doctors about it yet, though.

Thankfully, Lauren doesn’t work so she has no job to leave and will be able to put 100% of her time into the baby – Jack, if it’s a boy; Emily if not. In all honesty, I’ve got to hope it’s a boy. Someone who can follow in my footballing footsteps. Maybe I’ll end up managing him someday. Who knows?

Lauren doesn’t know about the business, and it’s going to stay that way. There’s no reason for her to know… maybe if it becomes more substantial I’ll have to mention it, but only if I can trust her. This is dangerous. The sort of people we’re dealing with do not take mercy. Or prisoners. Shoot first, ask questions later. That’s what I was told on our only meeting.

Day 1

It’s half an hour until the match. It’s an emotional event, as far as I’m concerned. Mixed emotions, though. Nerves. Excitement. Fear. Joy. Anticipation. Yes. That was the main one. Anticipation. We’ve been building up to this for weeks now. So much back breaking work has gone into it. And is so close to all kicking off.

What I want to see from my players today isdesire. I want to see them fight for the ball, control the game and rule the middle of the pitch. They need to show flair, show me what they’re made of: there are places up for grabs for the rest of the season. Most importantly, though, is that the lads play without fear. Any nerves before the match need to be channelled into concentration, focus or excitement. I know that if my players do that, we’ll come out of tonight with a win.
So that’s what I told them.

The players appeared to take on board exactly what I said, and then some…
Within 2 minutes, Christian Montano found the top corner before, in the 30s, Dorchester were unable to withhold the vast pressure the Bisons were subjecting them to, leading to an own goal. Two penalties then followed, both for last ditch challenges as the Bisons continued to control the game.

I am overjoyed right now. I’ve mentioned before that there is no greater feeling than winning. And 4-0 on the opening day of the season is the best result I ever could have hoped for. How much of the credit I can take, though, is debatable… I’ve been handed a very nifty budget and the players, each and every one of them, has worked their socks off the team today, which did, however, prove costly with 2 injuries.
Bucks Bisons 4 – 0 Dorchester
Montano - - 2
Smeetan - - 35
Mckenna – (pen) - 54
Mckenna – (pen) - 84

Bucks Bisons 2 – 2 Bromley
A sole standout performance from Nathan Eccleston wasn’t enough to win this one for the Bisons. Despite his two goals, giving Bucks the lead twice, they were unable to hold on during either occasion and so the game ended level. A lovely through ball from Eccleston gave Hunter Diack, a youth player only brought on due to injury, the chance to put the game to bed but he failed to hit the target.
Eccleston – 11 , 41

Farnborough 1 – 3 Bucks Bisons
A good team performance on a sub-standard pitch was the tale of this match. The Bisons showed that they were perfectly capable of getting stuck in, as, despite going a goal down early on, they won the game 3-1. McKenna scored his 3rd penalty of the campaign already and that pays tribute to the success of the Bisons in the box, as the opposition fail to stand up against the pressure.
Amenku –
McKenna – (Pen. 14 )
Peters – 29
Siaw – OG 32

Bucks Bisons 4 – 1 Basingstoke
Another individual start of the show was central midfielder Paul McKenna. Despite his position, he managed to score a hat-trick today, taking him up to a season tally of 6: an average of 1.5 goals a game. The first goal came from a long kick from goalkeeper Etheridge, just 60 seconds into the match. His finishing was slick and clinical, putting away each of his three chances before Montano sealed the deal.
McKenna – 1 , (Pen 47 ), 51
Montano – 90


6 players. 6 whole players away from the club. Add that to the 3 injuries, and all of a sudden you’re training with 7 or 8 players. It was surprisingly fun. It was a great opportunity to get to learn a bit more about the lads, and also to focus on their individual needs.

I’m also really proud of those who had gone off to play for their country. The majority of them are still in their early 20’s, if that, and to play for your country, especially whilst in this league, is so impressive. A couple of them are playing for specific age groups, but the likes of Neil and Shelton are performing for the senior team, and I’m sure they’ll do excellently.

As a team as well, we’ve got off to a great start this season. We’re yet to lose a game and currently sit top of the table. Nathan Eccleston has been a real stand out star, and part of our strategy has just been to give it to him, this is probably supported by him coming 3rd in the player of the month awards.

McKenna, though, won PotM. It’s probably got something to do with his 6 goals in 4 games, and some absolutely sublime finishes to accompany them. His biggest goal spinner, though, has been penalties. I’m not sure why, I’m assuming it’s down to the pressure but McKenna has scored 4 penalties so far this season, which has really helped his goal tally.

Oh.. I also won the manager of the month award, but I can’t take too much credit for it: the team have really done me proud.

August Awards


Bucks Bisons: Nathan Eccleston - 3rd Player of the Month
Eastbourne: Stuart Fleetwood - 2nd Player of the Month
Bucks Bisons: Paul McKenna - Player of the Month


Farnborough: Spencer Day - 3rd Manager of the Month
Eastbourne: Richard Hill - 2nd Manager of the Month
Bucks Bisons: Adam Woodage - Manager of the Month

A very, very strong month for us... taking 1st place in both competitions. Paul can be proud of himself winning PotM, he thoroughly deserved it and has been head and shoulders above the rest. My win is mainly down to the desire and hunger of the players. It was what I asked for. And what I got.
This is a great start! Nice to see Eccleston performing well, even if it is at such a low level. Miss him at Liverpool, I always thought he could be a great player!

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