*Knock, Knock, Knock*
"Good afternoon Alan."
"Oh, hi David, take a seat. What can I do for you?"
"Well, Alan, you've probably heard through the grapevine that a couple of the lads have been taking knocks recently in training…"
"Yes, that's right. I've instructed the coaches to reduce the workload a little bit and maybe to dial down the intensity, we want to impress in this league but not at the cost of all our players." *Wry Chuckle*
"A good idea for sure, but maybe too little to late, as you know, I'm due to submit my report on the overall health of the squad but thought it best to come and talk to you myself first."
"You mean 'hear it from a friend' rather than a piece of paper from the fax machine…"
"On that, why do you use the fax machine rather than e-mail?"
"I don't hold with computers mate, you know that. Besides there is something satisfying about a hard copy, makes it more official like."
"Fair enough, so anyway, your report?"
"Ah, yes, the report. Well the thing is…"
"Come on David, what's happened?"
"Well you know about Wayne, he came off after the last game complaining about his leg…"
"Turns out he's pulled his hamstring pretty bad, I reckon he'll be ok with rest but I wouldn't expect to see him back at full fitness any time before the end of next month."
"Oh great, and he'd just found his form as well!"
"Er, yes, and there was an incident in last nights under 21's match. You remember, of course, that we had to substitute the Ox in the second half after he went down funny from that attempted header?"
"Yeah, a precaution, we didn't want him to make any twinge worse."
"Too little too late I'm afraid. Turns out he's sprained his ankle, I'd put my house on it being at least five weeks before he's back again."
"Oh for crying out loud. First Kieran, then Wayne and now Alex…"
"And Phil too…"
"PHIL?! What the hell's wrong with Phil?"
"Don't shoot the messenger Alan but he twisted his ankle in training just now which is why I thought I'd come tell you in person."
*Exasperated Sigh* "…How long?"
"It's early days yet but I'd reckon three weeks at best… sorry."
"It's ok David, thanks for letting me know, I guess I've got some plans to change for the coming weeks then." *Ironic Chuckle* "This just keeps getting better doesn't it."
"Tell me about it, we'll need to hire more staff at this rate!"
"Staff? We'll need some bloody players first! Do me a favour, can you get the kit man to check the studs on the guys boots? Every time I had lower leg injuries it was because of the wrong studs, it's a long shot I know but we've got to stop all these sodding injuries and soon!!"
"Consider it done, I'd best be getting back to the treatment room."
"Ok, thanks again David. See you later."
*Door opens and closes*
"For f***s sake!"