Taking The 'Pish'

1st March 2015

It was that month when clubs saw what was coming through the youth ranks, I couldn't wait to be honest....the more players I had ready for next season the better as I wanted the cancer within the dressing room out.

7 points off the drop zone, and now 15 points off a play off place, I needed to get to the top 8th I reckon to keep my job, I was 12 points and 7 places off that.

With the youth intake revealed, it was going to have to be the transfer market if I was at the club - utter pap had come through...still, I might play a few just to piss DJ off.

Picking the line-up for my next match I noticed the only other player in my starting line up who had not scored was my pish signing. 8 games with 1 assist so far, proving Scottish players are pish.

Bishop's Stortford were in 20th place, I just had to win this game by a couple of goals, but with the ref giving me nothing I was nearly 1 down inside 6 minutes but my keeper actually pulled a save off. Scrap that, no he didn't, 1-0 down.

Shite reffing and shite keeping, the name of the game at the moment for me, and on 28 minutes we were 2 down, pathetic defending....the end was neigh for me I think as I saw DJ speaking to the chairman.

Pen ref....ref...ref...fook me, ref....why, pffft anyhow we managed to sneak one on 31 minutes 2-1. 32 minutes 3-1 down, I hate this game I was slowly thinking, weak defending from a cross.

Losing 3-1 to this shite at half time, I deserved the sack, 46 minutes, corner, weak defending 4-1 down....4 fecking 1!

Right on cue, injury time.....this time a striker, I was blessed at the moment, it wasn't raining it was a fecking tsunami or shite, a minute later another injury, I wanted this season over and quick.

With 9 minutes to go we made it 4-2 with a goal, that's it, a goal...All over 4-2 to this shite...shite, shite, shite...the players had it in the dressing room after that game.

I was dragged into the board room after the match!!! That whanker DJ....he had stirred shite up and 5 poor results without a win had caused the board to listen to him, I was in no mood...."Listen I can only do so much, these players were doing great until DJ caused shite, I can't do anything once they cross the line, lets get to the end of the season, cut out the poison and then if the results are shite...sack me".

I was still in a job, 8 loooooooooooooong games until the end of the season, Concord Rangers up next...fingers crossed a win and buy some time.

Before the kick off with the game against Concord Rangers I kept DJ back, I had decided to throw him stright back into the line up after his latest layoff.

"DJ, I had a conversation with the board, I am still here, now its up to you....inspire the team and get a win or go down I will take you off with another "injury" and the next time I am in with the board I will offer my notice"

"Deal"?

"Done"

Kick off time...A 7th goal of the season was scored by Brown on 16 minutes, a great cross by DJ...had I got through to him?

Then on 23 minutes it was the actions of the away teams shite goalkeeper, going walk about and allowing us to go 2-0 up, great start to the match, Ryan Upward the scorer.

The rest of the half was littered with fouls until the 1st minute of injury time and Concord scored from a corner, 2-1.

Concord should have leveled on 59 minutes but a poor finish allowed my nervous side to stay in the lead, a few minutes later and my keeper came to my rescue a sloppy ball in the middle of the park, long ball over the top and he won the 1 v 1, I felt they would score shortly though.

And they did from the resulting corner, my heart as though it had fallen from my body...what had happened to these lads....A couple more injuries from tough tackling and there would be only one winner in this match....should I offer my notice?

I actually lost another 2 players to injury before the end of the match, DJ not one of them, 2-2 what a load of pap.

The board told me my job was very insecure - I may not see the season out...feck you DJ and your moaning.

Going into the away game at Staines I had no fewer than 6 first team players out injured, I always seemed to have a key player out injured and couldn't but help feel as though the ref's had it in for me and my team.

On the eve of the match I could not help but think my fate had already been written, it was all over Sky Sports News that a loss and I would be sacked and another 1st team player had possibly gone into hiding picking up a 'virus'.

Could it be time for youth to save my bacon?

Narrrrr, lets do this lads. 0-0 at half time, not one chance for either team...ooooo dear.

Sick of getting nothing off the refs then teams going down the other end and scoring, 1-0 down, sack looming.

Wow, what a ball into the box and a 3rd goal of the season for Tashan Adeyinka on 54 minutes, come on lads I was screaming.

Disaster on 70 minutes with school boy defending from a free-kick, the sack was back on.

Game over, been nice knowing you club.....my god, DJ won...not happy.

Ouch.

Damn, shame about that.. Let's see whether you'll get a better job.

Squirmy420, that's one word for it and to make matter worse Maidenhead released DJ Campbell on a free transfer - maybe I was just used for a while. And Jer I have popped up at Vanarama North Hyde.

So a full pre-season under my belt with Hyde, and I am setting myself up for a long hard season. No goals scored in any of my friendlies and also 3 goalkeepers, all youth and no Scottish keepers wanting to join means I am ultimately setting myself up to resign again :-)

Let's do this!

First up Grantham at home....

A ball over the top and a clear cut chance for us on 25 minutes, the striker took what seemed like an age and allowed the keeper to cut the angle and make an easy save - looks like the inability to score from pre-season is continuing.

A couple of yellow cards for my team and then on 32 minutes a carbon copy of the first chance but this time to my other centre forward and exactly the same, the crowd were screaming for him to hit it but he held on for far too long and another easy save for the away keeper.

A third yellow card and a third ball over the top and easy chance for my striker, this time he did hit it early, but nearly hit the corner flag...head in hands, bring on half time.....these missed chances will be filling the away team with confidence.

A 4th yellow card for me and on 50 minutes I was just waiting to go down to 10 men, it was a matter of how long I had to wait.

55 minutes and a 5th yellow card, 1 more and a fine, at least this team wouldn't be kicked all over - seems we would be the team dishing out the kicks.

And on 62 minutes we went 1-0 down, an unlucky deflection and all the hard work and changes of the 1st half were out the window...67 minutes and a very soft goal to let in, the keeper allowed a tame header to go through his fingers and we were in a right mess.

Bottom of the table after 1 game! And my first injury of the season in a game. 3-0 on 87 minutes, a cracking curling shot from outside the area.

Think im jinxed in this football manager lark.

The in injury time my 2nd injury - yes I was jinxed, very much so.....

They made it 4 in the 2nd minute of injury time.

Southport away was quickly up, back on the horse time....come on lads.

8 Changes were made to the team that started at home, I decided I wanted to tinker with the team a little until the board call me in for a meeting.

After just 10 minutes we should have been 1-0 down, pissing about with the ball in the middle of the park resulted in a 1 on 1 with my keeper - keeper beaten but crossbar not, we survived...but for how long.

Wow, a long ball from the crossbar ball and we were clear through again, our 4th 1 v1 with the keeper in 2 games and the same result...0-0 would we ever score?

If yellow cards were goals we would be top of the table, another 1 to the tally from last match on 17 minutes. On 29 minutes we were 2-0 in the yellow card column, giggling to myself I thought every player will get a game this season at this rate.

0-0 at half time, bring on the 2nd half collapse.

3-0 in yellows on 55 minutes, wow 7 in 2 games and we still had half an hour left on the clock. 65 minutes, ball over the top, clear through aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand miss. 0-0 arrgghhh this will be a long, long, long season.

68 minutes and the tables were turned, it was Stockport's turn to miss a 1 v 1 with the keeper, phew, could we grind the point out.

GET IN....88 minutes and a throw in, bouncing all over it's knocked back out wide, cross, ping-pong and bosh Andy Molyneux with the finish, his first of the season after great work on the wing by Kofi Yeboah.

The changes had done good, a hard earned 3 points in a match not 1 person gave us a chance of winning.

Nice win! Hope this season goes better than the last.

Exactly what you wanted a win! Hopefully you can do better with Hyde!