Gareth
Gareth Bale Was Caught Off Guard By Shepherd's Appointment
10/07/2017
Serial UEFA Champions League winner, hero of his country, one of the top performers in his profession. Gareth Bale's rise to the top was remarkable. From humble beginnings, the Welsh-born defender-turn-attacker had become a global superstar by his early 20s. The man with a wicked left foot and more physical capabilities than Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator, Bale was always a man capable of changing any game at any moment.
Having been a part of the Real Madrid team which recently won their second consecutive Champions League title, and twelfth in total, Bale was enjoying a relaxing off season in his (relatively) new hometown of Madrid. With pre-season at club level due to start in the coming weeks, the Welsh superhero was enjoying the last lights of his time off.
On one particular Monday evening, Gareth was preparing for a night out. In front of a mirror, he was grooming his long hair in to a tight man bun, and buttoning up a dark blue summery shirt. With nobody else in the house, the Welshman began singing to himself.
Gareth Bale's Impromptu Song:
First name Gareth, second name Bale
Always on the goal scoring trail
Finest looking of all the males
Sexiest sheep in all of Wales
Back in Tott'num, they called me a donkey
Couldn't dress well, and my hairline wonky
I came up from nothing, at White Hart Lane
Now I'm livin' it up, down here in Spain
Play for Madrid up front with Cris
Bangin' in the goals just like this
Score with a volley, a head or a tap-in
Gucci belt and man bun, ladies be fappin'
Now I'm a hero for all my land
Burying teams deep under the sand
First name Gareth, second name Bale
Always on the goal scoring trail
As he finished buttoning up his shirt and was about to slip on a pair of loafers, Gareth received a text message from his close friend and fellow professional footballer Ashley Williams; "Oi Gazza, not sure if you've heard yet but the Welsh FA just signed up some sheep shagger to be our new gaffer wtf!"
And on that note, Gareth Bale downed a pint of vodka. Was it the beginning of the end of a golden time for Welsh football? Or was it the beginning of something special?
