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Bullets from the Ashes: A different Arsenal Story

Started on 9 August 2012 by jimgooner
Latest Reply on 15 September 2012 by jimgooner
  • POSTS107
  • VIEWS96523
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jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited

Index


Pre Season 11/12
Usmanov buys Arsenal!
Arsenal release information on the departures from the club
Arsenal appoint Unproven Keeling as New Manager
Keeling gets a shock
Remaining Players
Keeling Meets With Usmanov to Discuss Transfer Targets
Arsenal Announce 3 new Signings!, The Gunners
Announce 4 New Arrivals
, Arsenal "completed" by 6 more signings!
Keeling casts his mind to tactics
The season is drawing near...
Arsenal Draw Panathinaikos

Season 11/12

August, September, October, November, December, January,February, March, April
The Champions League Final
Domestic Season Review

Pre Season 12/13
Keeling Meets with Usmanov
Arsenal Announce New Kits!
Arsenal Announce their new assistant manager!
The Journey for For Neymar I, II, III, IV

Season 12/13
August

Is it over?


Events over the past few days had left Gooners across the globe weeping with despair. The club they loved, destroyed by two heart-less business men; Stan Kroenke and Ivan Gazidis.


Stan Kroenke

Ivan Gazidis

With the retirement of the Chairman of the club, Peter Hill Wood, the majority share holder Stan Kroenke saw it as a good opportunity to make some money. Him and Gazidis drafted money from the club into an offshore account, sipping the club dry. Unfortunately it was a fool-proof plan and there was no way they could be prosecuted.

With only days left until the became bankrupt club the future of the once great Gunners looked incredibly bleak...

N.B. I am sorry if this story doesn't make sense factually (I suspect it will!) and I am sure this would never or could happen in real life. I am sure the two guys are top blokes whose best interest is in the club.
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
1st July

Breaking News: Alisher Usmanov buys Arsenal!


The fans are going mental out here! I have never seen anything like it. They are acting like they the league, not just about playing in it! Its unbelievable Jeff!- Chris Kamara, Sky Sports, outside the Emirates.

The business man Alisher Usmanov bought having owned 30% until Kroenke had bought out his shares. He felt saddened by the situation as he loved the club. However he said that he would only keep hold of the club until a new owner could be found.

The fans and the club had been given a lifeline, but as they had lost many staff and players on free transfers they had an uphill struggle to return to the club to it's former glory .
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
2nd July

Arsenal release information on the departures from the club


There was a mass exodus.

3 coaches, 4 physios and 1 scout were the only staff left.

There were only 11 first team players left along with a few unknown reserves.

But the biggest departures were the captain Robin Van Persie, and the club legend Arsene Wenger. In a statement Wenger said "This is a club I love and I cannot thank enough for the patience they have shown me. However this is a transition and a new period for the club. With a new period comes a new challenge and a new is needed. I wish who ever does take charge the best and I have decided to retire from management. I don't think i can make myself join a new club as long as Arsenal exists.
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
5th July

Arsenal appoint Unproven Keeling as New Manager


Arsenal have appointed Wengers's Apprentice, Geoff Keeling, as his predecessor. The fans were anxious to find out whether they have uncovered a gem with this appointment.

In his press conference Keeling revealed that Wenger had been tutoring him for a few years

"The plan was for Arsene to carry on as boss until he thought I was ready. Obviously with the recent situations Arsene decided to stop. I am determined to prove that I can not only save the club, but to take it to the next level and to dominate the World. People may question my passion and desire. However I am a Gooner so the future of my beloved club is in my own hands, so hopefully I won't let us down!
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
6th July

Keeling gets a shock


Geoff Keeling was anxious about meeting Usmanov to talk about the transfer budget. Geoff thought that he would receive next to no funds due to fact that Usmanov wanted to sell the club, therefore he would put as little as money as could into the club. However Geoff was in for a rather large shock.

Keeling
Usmanov

-Hello Geoff, please do take a seat.
-Hello there Alisher, how are you doing today?
-Im fine, I appreciate your politeness however I am sure you are incredibly eager to hear what I have to say, so let's get down to it.
-Of course
-I think that you probably know why I have asked you to come here today.
-To discuss transfer funds?
-Indeed, now regarding the current predicaments with the squad being so small I have decided to give you £200m to spend.
-Wait. Hang on, do you really mean 200 million, not 200 thousand?
-Yes Geoff I am sure, now please, go find some players. I want to meet again in a few days so you can tell me who you want to sign.
-Great! I will see you then. Have a good day.
-You too.

As Keeling walked out of Usmanov's office he couldn't believe his luck. He started to think about the players he could sign with all the money he had
It doesn't always need to be realistic to be a great story, and it is your story.

I'm also beginning to think of all the players you can sign with that money too! Best of luck....
1
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
#62323 Kiwi : It doesn't always need to be realistic to be a great story, and it is your story.

I'm also beginning to think of all the players you can sign with that money too! Best of luck....
thanks I'm trying not to sign the boring players that everyone signs i.e. sanogo, fiero, torres,vrsljko etc
Good start, and it is definitely interesting to see a refreshingly different story. It is still in its early stages, I know, but I hope you do well.
#62333 akash.vidyasagar : Good start, and it is definitely interesting to see a refreshingly different story. It is still in its early stages, I know, but I hope you do well.
thanks mate
Nice to see you executing this story. It'll be fun to follow. I think you should list the people who are currently employed...and what is your assessment of what you have at your disposal.
#62420 Gurdit : Nice to see you executing this story. It'll be fun to follow. I think you should list the people who are currently employed...and what is your assessment of what you have at your disposal.
Ok I will
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
6th July

Remaining Players


    Jack Wilshere

    Thomas Vermaelen

    Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Francis Coquelin

    Emmanuel Frimpong (loaned to Wolves this season)

    Aaron Ramsey

    Wojeich Szczesny

    Bacary Sagna

    Alex Song

    Johan Djourou

    Theo Walcott
jimgooner's avatar Group jimgooner
10 yearsEdited
11 July

Keeling Meets With Usmanov to Discuss Transfer Targets


Geoff had spent numerous hours looking for players in the last few days. After all the work he had produced a report that he was extremely proud of. Understandably he was very eager to show it to Alisher Usmanov.

Keeling
Usmanov


-Hello Geoff
-Hi Alisher, How are you doing?
-Good, yourself?
-Yeah, I'm good. I must say that I am rather excited to hand you my report, there are a lot of good players in it.
-Well please do hand it over then.
-Sure, here you go.
-...Well, I am going to brutally honest with you, Geoff, I don't know who half these players are.
-Well I am just going to ask you to trust me on this on Alisher. All the players have been thoroughly scouted I am sure that they will be great players for the club.
-Ok fine, but you are going to have go through this report with me, to help me decide how much to spend on each player.
-Of course.
-Lets get down to business then.

Hours passed as the two men looked through the report deciding how much to spend on each player. A few hours and countless coffees later, they had made their decisions.
17th July

Arsenal Announce 3 new Signings!


Yes Jim I can confirm that Arsenal have announced the signings of 3 new players. They are Shinji Kagawa, Edinson Cavani and Douglas Costa. Although it is unknown how much each player cost it is believed that the overall fee of the 3 players is in the region of £70m. This is quite incredible due to fact that only 17 days ago the club looked destined for liquidation. That was of course until the Uzbek Alihser Usmanov saved the club. There are rumours that Geoff Keeling has been given about £200m due to the low amount of players left in the squad. Im sure that there will be more signings coming in the near future at the Emirates- Brian Swanson, reporting for Sky Sports News, Outside the Emirates stadium.

Here are the first 3 players that Geoff Keeling had signed as Manager of the Gunners.

Edinson Cavani


Shinji Kagawa


Douglas Costa

Coffee is overrated. Aren't you going to share the list of targets?

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