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Poll: This Is England. The Three Lions Roar.

You are bored. This is the antidote.
Started on 17 December 2012 by TheChosenOne
Latest Reply on 8 January 2013 by TheChosenOne
  • POSTS39
  • VIEWS15060
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What do you prefer? (43 votes)
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

England have a manager! FA do not reveal who it is.


Channel 4 News Reporter: "Well what a story we have for you here today; after all the controversy over the England manager, The English FA have finally come to a decision on who it will be. However, they have decided to keep it quiet. They will eventually release who the man is, but they do not wish to do so as of yet. Fans hope and pray it is favorite Harry Redknapp, even after declining anymore interest in the job. Social Networking sites suggest most fans would prefer obscure manager Josh Sleightholm over some like Chris Hughton, or Capello. We will have more information on this soon. This is Arvind Krishna reporting for Channel 4 News."

TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Irish lead the English!


Sky Sports News Reporter: "It's revealed! The England manager has finally been revealed. Roy Keane has been selected as the man to take England, hopefully forward. Obviously, Manchester United fans have being going crazy to see their ex player manage their country, as well as others also being interested in him. On the other hand some are disheartened that Harry is not their manager, but pleased they have got somebody who knows what they're doing. A press conference will be released later today for Roy so he can announce himself properly to the fans.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/columnists/2008/11/29/1227987917976/Roy-Keane-001.jpg
"Someone who knows what they're doing"?

Don't think so :))
2012-12-24 17:31#73689 Glenn T : "Someone who knows what they're doing"?

Don't think so :))
I knew you would say that; as soon as I posted it. ;)
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Press Conference


I walked down the empty corridor, smiling, not smiling at anyone, obviously you silly twat it's an empty corridor. I was looking forward to this day more than any other. I always loved England, deep inside, but I never showed it. I was hoping to make a good impression in this conference, I hope I do or I am fucked.

(Keane takes a seat next to two board members, and his Assistant Manager; Ray Lewington.)

"Mr. Keane! You now sit here as the new England manager after now unemployed manager Harry Redknapp was sure to get the job, how did you manage to claim it?"

"Well, you simply apply. (Rest of Media laugh) Then with the stature I have, I was bound to get it, I would even go as far as to say I would've got it over Redknapp."

"Still as cocky as you were on the pitch I see, Haha! You seem very confident Roy, do you hope that confidence will rub onto you're players?"

"Certainly, with the amount of youth that will be included, it will have to!"

"Are you saying you will be using youth? If so, could we have a few names?"

"Hm, I don't want to single out certain players, but don't get me wrong, experienced players will be thrown in as well."

"You have a friendly against Australia in a few weeks time. Do you think that will be enough time to prepare?"

"I'm going to be honest, I think it'll be a tight affair, even thought it shouldn't, Australia are a good side, and will be better seeing as how we will not be familiar with the tactics. Um, that'll be all now, thanks. I have things to do. Good Bye."

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/pictures/2008/11/29/1227977280078/Roy-Keane-001.jpg
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Tactics, tactics everywhere


I shouldn't make it too difficult for the boys, the younger ones will learn the tactics a ,ot quicker than the elder ones. I think two tactics should be sufficient, and if I adapt them to an average Premier League tactic it should be even easier. I think I know which tactics I have in mind...

The 4-2-3-1
My good, possessive, defensive and offensive tactic. Should work a treat.


The 4-3-2-1
The dominant midfield and two wide players mean lots and lost of attempts on goal, but having decent numbers back to defend as well.
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Keane names 'Best 23-Man squad'


http://answers.bettor.com/images/Articles/thumbs/extralarge/World-Cup-Qualifiers-England-vs-San-Marino-194348.jpg

Goalkeepers


Joe Hart

David Stockdale

Jack Butland

Fullbacks


Ashley Cole

Leighton Baines

Kyle Walker

Glenn Johnson

Central Defenders


Ryan Shawcross

John Terry

Gary Cahill

Michael Dawson

Central Midfielders


Steven Gerrard

Scott Parker

Frank Lampard

David Beckham

Jack Wilshere

Wingers


Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Aaron Lennon

Ashley Young

Raheem Sterling

Forwards


Darren Bent

Wayne Rooney

Jermain Defoe

Team may change due to injuries and suspensions.
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Confirmed England squad against Australia.


1. Joe Hart
2. Jack Butland
3. David Stockdale
4. Danny Simpson (Replacement for Glenn Johnson)
5. Gary Cahill
6. Michael Dawson
7. John Terry
8. Phil Jones (Replacement for Kyle Walker)
9. Ryan Shawcross
10. Ashley Cole
11. Leighton Baines
12. Jack Rodwell (Replacement for Wilshere)
13. Frank Lampard
14. Steven Gerrard
15. Tom Cleverley (Replacement for Scott Parker)
16. Raheem Sterling
17. Aaron Lennon
18. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
19. Ashley Young
20. Danny Welbeck (Replacement for David Beckham)
21. Wayne Rooney
22. Jermain Defoe
23. Andy Carroll (Replacement for Bent)
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Pre-Season Team Talk


Roy Keane
John Terry
Ashley Young

"Right boys this is your first time under my management, and my first time managing you. So we need to go over a few things, yes I know it's painful now, but all the pleasure will come later on."

"Yeah, the only pleasure received will be our wives' after Terry has been at them"

(Whole team burst out in laughter)

"You just hit the nail in the coffin there Ashley, like Terry hits is dic... Woah, nevermind actually, but my point is there needs to be chemistry between us, I want nothing like the Suarez and Evra incident between any of us because at the end of the say you still play for the same country, and have to play along side each other. I mean it. I don't care if you are two of the biggest players here, you will both be dis-included from the squad until the matter is resolved. You got that?"

"Yes Roy, I'm sure we all do..."

"Good good, now the friendly is in about 3 hours, I'll let you know the starting eleven and subs shortly, but I will tell you now; Butland, Carroll, you'll both be sat out this match, but guaranteed to start if you make the squad come the qualification game yes? Good. See you all later."
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Keane's first Test


"Right boys, listen up! I'm not expecting the biggest things in the world here, but I expect a decent effort Yeah? This is the starting line up; Hart, Simpson, Cahill, Terry, Cole, Lampard, Gerrard, Lennon, Rooney, Young and Defoe. The rest, you're subs, bar the two or three not here. Right, show me what you got boys! Oh, and you should probably know you have Montenegro, Ukraine, Poland, San Marino and Moldova in our group. That shouldn't be a problem though, on you go."

England 0-0 Australia

England (4-2-3-1) Hart, Simpson, Cahill, Terry, Cole, Lampard, Gerrard, Lennon, Rooney, Young, Defoe

Goals: None

Subs: Shawcross Terry, Cleverley Lampard, Rodwell Gerrard, Sterling Lennon, Oxlade-Chamberlain Rooney, Welbeck Defoe

Yellow Cards: Rooney (51'), Wilkshere (72'), Kruse (88'), Cole (90+3')

Red Cards: None

Man of the Match: Mark Schwarzer

Injuries: None
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

England favorite tells fans not to 'worry'


"After a disappointing night at Wembley where England held the game against the team underneath them, Australia and drew 0-0; International legend Sir Bobby Charlton spoke out to the fans claiming they don't need to worry, or give hate to newly appointed manager Roy Keane as he was just getting into things and needed time, and that he will duly deliver in the World Cup Qualifiers against Montenegro and San Marino."

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/04_02/AlanBall08_468x363.jpg
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

Confirmed England squad for Montenegro and San Marino


1. Joe Hart
2. Jack Butland
3. David Stockdale
4. Danny Simpson
5. Kyle Walker
6. Phil Jones
7. Gary Cahill
8. Michael Dawson
9. John Terry
10. Ryan Shawcross
11. Ashley Cole
12. Leighton Baines
13. Jordan Henderson
14. Frank Lampard
15. David Beckham
16. Tom Cleverley
17. Ashley Young
18. Aaron Lennon
19. Raheem Sterling
20. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
21. Wayne Rooney
22. Danny Welbeck
23. Jermain Defoe
TheChosenOne's avatar Group TheChosenOne
12 yearsEdited

World Cup Qualifier (Group 8) Montenegro vs England




Martin Tyler: "Hello and welcome here to us today on Sky Sports where we have a match to bring you where England, take on Montenegro in the World Cup Qualifiers. This will mark Roy Keane's competitive debut and it's expected to be a cracker of a match. We will be bringing you live coverage of the match, right after the break..."

Na na na na na na, say that you want me...

Andy Gray: "Hello there and welcome back to us with me, and Martin Tyler. Kick off is moments away, so Martin, what do you think of the line ups today?"

Martin Tyler: "Well I think England have really gone for it today, Terry, Lampard and Rooney will be key for them today. The other side, Montenegro have a strong looking side as well, Jovetic and Vucinic will cause the English defense plenty of problems, and so here is kick off..."

Pre-Match Team Talk

"Right boy's, listen up. All I'm going to say is win it. Win it for me, win it for the fans, and most importantly, win it for yourselves...ENGLAND!"

0' England Kick Off

3' Cleverley at the edge of the box, plays it to Lampard, who looks up towards goal, has a crack!? Held by the keeper, he fired that one straight at him.

4' Cahill plays the ball up to Lennon, he runs with it out of his own half, he beats three defends, cuts inside! Shot! Saved by the tall figure of Bozovic, what a goal that would've been by Lennon.

5' Boskovic feeds the ball left to Pekovic then with a pass to Jovetic just in front of the half way line, Jovetic makes a charging run into the England penalty box, surges past Cahill, then takes the ball past Simpson, he stops at the touchline and runs down it, only the keeper to beat and the awkward angle, shoots! Blocked by Hart, Jovetic didn't look like scoring from there, great play though.

6' Defoe nods it left to Ashley Young who makes a darting run down the left wing, he crosses it to the near post through the legs of the defender aims for Cleverley? Penalty! the referee had no hesitation there, Boskovic is furious, he thinks he got the ball away fairly. The referee disagree's. Lampard to take the penalty.

6' Lampard ready to take, he steps up, shoots! Saved! Bozovic guessed right to deny England, what a waste!

8' Vucinic with a pacey run down the left, plays in right, inside to Jovanic, Cahill intercepts but it falls to Pekovic, who plays through Jovetic, onside!? GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! He slots it down Harts near post. Sloppy defending by England there. Montenegro lead 1-0!

16' Deflection of Cahill send the ball up in the air into the middle of the park, it'll fall to Rooney? Foul! Dzudovic came charging in and shoved Rooney mid-air, free kick England.

18' Young with the corner, knocks it in to the near post, Terry waiting? GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! It curled perfectly round the keeper who was glued to the floor, England equalise, 1-1.

27' Young has it far right, makes a huge cut inside, has a dig! Wide! Unlucky there from Young.

30' Vuckcevic blasts down the right side of the pitch, reaches the touchline, crosses in to the unmarked Vucinic? GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Shocking defending there from England, he was completely unmarked!

45+2' Young with the corner. Whacks it into the crowded box, it bounces of several players, fall's to Defoe's feet! Saved! A very determined block there by Bozovic.

45+3' Half Time. What an exciting first half! We will be back shortly with coverage on the second half.

Half-Time Team Talk


"Keep going out there, play your game, and a comeback should be easy as pie."

Martin Tyler: "Hello and welcome back, we now bring you the second half of the Montenegro vs England match where Hrabri sokolovi lead England two to one, let's hope England can make a recovery..."

45' Montenegro restart the second half. Two Changes made for England, Baines replaces Cole, and Oxlade-Chamberlain replaces Lennon.

50' Chamberlain with a powerful run, skins most of the Montenegrin defense, shot from the edge of the box!? Wide! Some goal that would've been, instant impact from the substitute.

51' Rooney receives the ball, dispossessed, Foul! Boskovic pushed him in the back.

54' David Beckham been added to the midfield at the expense of Welbeck.

53' Cleverley to Simpson, intercepted by Bozovic who is now on a surging run, reaches the touch line, floats in a ball to the unmarked Vucinic! GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Vucinic unmarked again, England have their work cut out now!

71' Boskovic with the corner, near post to Vucinic, Free-Kick! Vucinic slid in. Wasn't needed.

81' Beckham's corner, whips it in nobody there, Penalty! Pekovic shoved Cleverley to the floor.

81' Penalty about to be taken, Rooney steps up? GOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Taken beautifully

90+1 Marko Basa tripped Beckham. England have this final kick to make something of the game.

90+2 Beckham lines up the ball on the edge of the box...He rifles it forward...GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! He's done it, he's completed England's comeback, with the last kick of the game, what a free-kick!

90' Full Time

Post-Match Team Talk

"Whaaheey! You did it boy's what a marvelous comeback, Becks? You beauty, you're the reason we have 1 point instead of 0. I'm proud of you all!"

Andy Gray: "Wow. What a match we have just witnessed, I'm sure Gary Neville and Alan Shearer will spend time looking over the match with you, but from us, it's goodbye for now...
very nice match reports :D looks like a lot of writing but very easy on the eye and easy to read :D keep it up m8 :D ps nice comeback lol
It's a bit too colorful in my opinion (the match report). Other than that, it's perfect.

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