In the Name of God - A San Lorenzo Story

6:00 am, time to rise. I bathed and changed into my white robe, topped with that incessantly difficult to balance hat. I quite liked how it looked, though. Everything requires a sacrifice. 6:30, I had time for a quick prayer.

If God wills it, let San Lorenzo have a good preseason.

There was a quiet knock on the door. I glanced over at the tall, oak doors, and answered quietly, "Come in, come in." My personal assistant, Leonardo, entered the room. He was a good man, and a good Christian.

"I have a letter for you, your Holiness. It's from Matias Lammens." I only receive letters, email is far too complex for our image as an elder state of the Church.

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. Matias was the owner of San Lorenzo, my favorite football club on Earth. I wondered what he possibly wished to speak to me about so close to the start of the preseason.

"Well, let me see it then, Leo." He smiled, slightly flustered, and walked over to me and handed me a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it, and began to read.

Your Holiness Pope Francis,
Thank you for allowing me to contact you today. We have a dilemma at San Lorenzo. Our manager, Juan Antonio Pizzi, has had serious disagreements with the club due to our poor financial situation. He has turned his back on us and has left the club. We are 4 days away from the start of friendlies, and we need a manager.

I know this may sound ridiculous, but we want you to step in as manager. You are our greatest supporter, and your presence will urge the players to new heights. If God wills it, please accept and write us back.

Your friend,
Matias Lammens

I began to laugh. Could it be that San Lorenzo really wanted me as manager? The Pope as manager of a football club? I could feel the idea sink into my mind.

"Are you going to take it?"

The question brought me back to reality. Would I take it? What of my pledge to God, to serve as the leader of the Church, as the Bishop of Rome?

"I must pray, Leonardo. Leave me, I will save my decision until after I have God's consent."

Good luck Neal

LOL, the pope as the manager hahaha, I will be following your story because it looks interesting and because you are managing in south america

Hahaha, Great start Neal! I love it
Can't wait for more!

lol :P! San Lorenzo have a good team!

Great start Neal, I'll be following for sure!

Oh god no..

Thanks for all the early support guys

The Decision

Matias Lammens,

I am honored that you have even considered giving me the post as manager of my beloved San Lorenzo. I can not thank you enough.

It was a difficult decision for me. I am already the Pope, and that is a full time job. I have devoted my life to God, but never did I expect such an opportunity to come knocking. God's will is manifested to us in strange ways indeed.

After much prayer and consultation with the Bishops, I have decided I will take the post along with being the Pope. God has willed me to help the club I have supported my entire life, a club founded indirectly by a priest. I will arrive tomorrow at the Pedro Bidegain.

My only condition to the job is that I work for free. I do this in God's name, and will take no such payment for it.

May God's blessings lay upon you,
Pope Francis I

It was sent, there was no turning back now. Leonardo and I were aboard the papacy's jet, on our way to Buenos Aires to meet Matias. I do not know what I have signed up for, but in the name of God I will do this great club justice.

I love it m8! This story is already epic Keep it up Neal.

The Beginning of an Era

This is to be my home for the next few years, I hope. El Estadio Pedro Bidegain, home of San Lorenzo. I was greeted outside by Matias, and he walked me inside and took me on a tour of the ground. We discussed the club and it's current situation, and I realized how difficult a job I had signed up for.

The club were over 1m pounds in debt, which would need fixing. We were blessed with a number of quality players, though, and only a few additions were needed to aid the depth of the team. After much discussion about finances, goals, players, and more, Matias and I signed a contract for me to stay at the club for a single season, to be extended if God wills it.

The first thing that I did was examine the players I had. We had many quality attacking players, and I believed that with God's favor this could be a good season. We needed a defensive midfielder to add depth, and free agent Andres Diaz fit the bill well. I submitted a contract offer to him via email, and also listed a number of dead weight players.


Finally, I decided on the tactics that would lead my great San Lorenzo to glory. We had the personnel for a 4-2-3-1, and so this was the formation I chose. We had a few options to choose from, with either a counterattacking or an attacking strategy ready depending on the situation.


I had been given a luxurious apartment in which to live, but I adorned it with very little. I prayed after I arrived there, asking God to forgive me for leaving Rome in such a way and to help me succeed in this venture I had taken in his name. It was the start of a new era of football and God at San Lorenzo.

A great read so far, can't wait for more updates.

Get Coloccini when he is a little bit older and cheaper, San Lorenzo is the team he wanted to move to.

Hilarious start, great story overall, but that is to be expected from a Neal story Good luck with the rest of your Argentinian test.

Rhymed that on purpose

Weak, Glenn, weak.