From Broadway to Football

2013-05-23 20:23#104341 Jamesg237 : I don't quite get your characters link to football but it will be interesting to see if you can change my initial opinion. Good luck.

James to tell you the truth there is probably none at all. but it makes for an interesting turn of events, and heck, nice to write as someone who has no prior knowledge of football (or soccer as he would call it)

2013-05-23 18:33#104303 93:20 : Why are screenshots so zoomed in and blurry? Nice story though mate.

Probably cause I make the screenshot a bit too big. may edit it for future updates. but I am glad you like it

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Hello, I am Alfred James, and welcome to Premier League Bonanza. Neil Patrick Harris has only been in the job for a few months and already, he has performed wonders on Southamton, with the club going unbeaten in their opening 6 games, currently sitting 6th in the league. Following last month's brilliance with two being in the player of the month top three (Jos Hooiveld and Rickie Lambert), Marc Hornschuh, on loan from Bourissia Dortmund, has finished 3rd in the young player of the month. The youngster has certainly wowed us, as well as the fans, who recently said that Neil Patrick Harris has made them unbeatable...for now it seems if that may be the case. Today, We have our first in a line of special guests. Tonight, Our guest is Southampton's Irish midfielder, on loan from Stoke, Glenn Whelan. Glenn, welcome.

Well, thank you for having me. It's a real honour.

Our first question is, How is Neil as a manager?
Well, despite having no proper experience in the role, he has certainly settled in well. He has taught some of the youngster's a lot of important things, and has even convinced us the older players to play like we have nothing to lose.

Do you agree with the criticism's of those like Alan Hansen and Joey Barton that having an inexperienced manager can only be bad for the club?

Not at all. If anything, this job will give him the chance to make a good first impression, and gives us a chance to give him a career. He definately hasn't been bad for the club, if he was hindering us, I don't think we would of been this high in the league.

If Southampton do stay up, or reach europe do you think that you might get a permanent deal?

Maybe, who knows. I wouldn't mind a permanent move here. The fans have been fantastic and my fellow players have welcomed me in, and made me feel welcome, and I think it has improved my performance's. But, for now I want to buckle down and impress the gaffer.

Ok thank you very much Neil. Just to round up then, Southampton, 6th in the league 2 wins 4 draws. Through to face Stoke in the Capital One Cup 4th round. When or will Southampton suffer a defeat this month? Lets find out?

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Neil Patrick Harris today has said that he aims to take the title away from the usual suspects, and wants the league to be more frequent to upsets.

"I am so bored of always hearing about Chelsea, Manchester United and Manchester City winning stuff. I think it is making the league too predictable. I would like it if teams like southampton, Wigan and Swansea, you know teams that aren't considered to challenge for the title, could take the big teams for all their money and win some silverwear."

Some of the players of the league and other well know pundits also had their say on what Neil had to say: (READERS NOTE I MADE THESE QUOTES UP! THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL FAKE!)

Glenn: I agree with Neil, at first it was Arsenal and Manchester United as a duopoly, then Chelsea and United, and now City and United. I hope someone breaks that duopoly, and if Neil could do that then he would be considered a great, just like I am.

Jamesg237: Although he raises some valid points, the league has numerous things to challenge for, and then there is also the cups, there isn't any real need to break the top teams and give the weaker teams some money.

Alan Hansen: I completely disagree with Neil's comments, they are making it out as if the league is boring, and it clearly isn't as it is clearly the best league in the World.

Alan Shearer: I think Neil is right in thinking of a future of the lower teams being known across the world and if they can do this by winning the league then, by all means have a go.

David Cameron: Who cares? The Bullingdon Club are a much better football team, just ask my boyfriend Deputy prime minister.

These comments followed Southampton's most recent match, a 2-1 over QPR.

great and interesting story so far, a lot of draws in the Premier League but better then losing and for NPH as a manager of a football team I think that gives this story just that little extra

Arsenal 0-1 Southampton

Neil Patrick Harris has praised his men following a closely won game agaimst the gunners at the emirates. Despite losing future superstar Wellington Nem and key defender Jose Fonte to injury, The saints held on long enough for Emmanuel Mayuka's first goal for Southampton in the league, coming two minutes from time.

"The team showed real character today. I was one of the many thinking we might not win this, better hope for at least a draw, but the men showed that the big teams aren't all that and have now taken us up to fourth in the league."

Southampton team members have also come out to say how brilliant the manager is:

Adam Lalana: "The man may not be the greatest at team talks, but what he has put in us is the belief to go all the way. We have been performing well under him and we will hopefully get something from this season."

Rickie Lambert: "I certainly didn't expect this type of form at the beginning of the season, but Neil was truthful with us, telling us that he wanted to be league champions within 7 seasons, preferable in 5, so we now have to match his ambitions and I like to think we are doing so."

Jack Cork: "He may not have had any managerial or prior footballing experience but he has instantly installed some faith in us that we can be a big club again, and that we can aim for more than just "Survival" this campaign. A true great."

This form also draws praise from those of the acting world:

Alyson Hannigan:"It's nice to see Neil is settling in at his new job as Southampton soccer manager, and that hopefully, when he arrives for Season 9 filming he will be in a happy mood as always."

Josh Radnor: "Neil's always said that he likes a challenge and these last few months he has certainly proved it. He is not only a great showman, but a great mate and I wish him all the best"

Cobie Smulders: " He has been awesome so far at Southampton, and when we talk, he sounds really excited about what he is doing, and it seems he has settled well into his new job, and he definitely can become a legen wait for it dary, legendary manager."

How long the saints recent run of form will last for, we don't know. What we do know is that Neil has certainly made these southampton players hungry for wins, and has certainly silenced doubters with a current 4th place standing in the league.

Neil Patrick Harris has won the November manager of the month, having won all 5 of the games that month. Having come into November on the back of an October with two defeats and just 1 win in 4 games, Harris' side have turned it around, and have won some key games against the likes of Wigan and Norwich.

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V.S Liverpool 1-1 Home
Morgan Schneiderlin 23
V.S Man. City 0-4 Home
None
V.S. West Brom 1-2 Away
Steven Davis 65
Rickie Lambert 90+2
V.S. Stoke 2-1 Away
Jack Cork 35
V.S Sunderland 1-2 Away
Rickie Lambert 76
Wellington Nem 90+1
V.S Q.P.R 2-1 Home
Wellington Nem 26
Rickie Lambert 34
V.S Arsenal 0-1 Away
Emmanuel Mayuka 88
V.S Wigan 1-2 Away
Morgan Schneiderlin 22, 82
V.S. Norwich 1-0 Home
Morgan Schneiderlin 2

Neil Patrick Harris was also very critical of the Player of the month picking commitee after they failed to notice any of his players for the month of November: "My players have worked better than I could of asked for this month, especially the likes of Morgan and Wellington. Why aren't they being selected? I don't understand and neither will the players or fans of this mighty football club"

great results mate

Saints to sign Black

Neil Patrick Harris has confirmed the signing of Hibernian's 17 year old right defender Andrew Black on a free. The Scottish international, who can also play right midfield, will officially join on the first of June next year. "I am pleased to be joining a club that has such a big history as Southampton" the defender told our reporter this morning, "They have always been a favourite club of mine. When I talked with Neil he told me of his aims for the club, and I totally believe I can be helpful towards getting those aims."

Harris himself said "Andrew has a big future ahead of him. I talked to a close source and they recommended him, saying that he would provide something to our defence once he has settled in." Rumours have it that this source is Glenn, the famous scout, well known for his scouting abilities, being the one to predict things for in the past Jack Wilshire and Neymar, and more recently has predicted big things for lesser known players like Ademilson, Jack Grealish and Andrew Black, the player that Harris has signed.

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Messi can't win them all!

The world player of the year awards have just been announced but they are still predictable even if Lionel Messi, hasn't won all of the awards.

The World Golden Ball has again gone to Lionel Messi, with second place belonging to Andreas Iniesta and third to Cristiano Ronaldo. Meanwhile, the world player of the year is that of Iniesta, with Messi in second. The first non spanish based player on these lists is third, and this player is one highly ranked by many, Bayern Munich's Toni Kroos.

Eden Hazard has earned himself the european golden boy this year beating some talents such as Southampton's samba star, Wellington Nem..

I turned off the radio at that point. I had left the house early today, and was sitting in the office listening to the awards. Why on earth can't they just pick someone that isn't from a big name club. I mean Nathaniel Clyne was third in the young player of the month. Wellington Nem was a quality player with the best years of his career still to come. And, players like Jos who I was considering to sell, has been awesome at the back with Jose and has made me keep him on. I wish I was at home with David and the twins but we have a game tomorrow. Newcastle. We needed to find our form again and quick. We had slipped from 4th to 7th. It could be worse if we don't sort it out. Phone goes off. Hey Glenn. What's that? You and Doria have arrived from Brazil? Brilliant. I will come down and get you guys then? See you in a moment. Doria. A young brazilian centre back. All the people recommended him. Especially Wellington and Wallace. "He's a defender on par with players like Bobby Moore". Thats some respect shown there.

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Goal against Stoke: Rickie Lambert 63
Goals against Villa: Razvan Rat 35, Rickie Lambert 43, Jose Fonte 72
Goals against Chelsea: Emmanuel Mayuka 50, Gaston Ramirez 73 (pen)

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Transfers Galore!

Southampton have confirmed that 3 players have joined the club, with another two awaiting work experience confirmation. With the Saint's having already confirmed the signing of Andrew Black, it will be interesting to see who Harris has signed.

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The first is Brazilian defender Doria, who arrived for a fee of just £525 k. This player was confirmed to be joining in the summer but has only now officially become a saint. He is currently out injured following an injury gained playing for Brazil under 20's.

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The next is that of loan signing Yaya Sanogo. He has recently signed a new deal at Auxerre till 2015, to ward off interest of Arsenal. Harris is hoping the player will improve an attack force that contains Lambert, Fortune and Mayuka.

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One player that, like Andrew Black, will join the saints on the end of his contract is former Man. City man Vladimir Wiess, currently of Pescara. The midfielder has been thoroughly scouted by Harris and the manager is currently happy with the signing of the Slovakian.



One of the players that is awaiting work experience confirmation is Argentine Lisandro Lopez of Arsenal De Sarandi. He has agreed a deal to join the club, once his current deal ends. Argentine striker Hernan Crespo has said that he hopes the player has a better time in England than he did. And, with Harris saying the defender can be the "argentinian Bobby Moore" you have to believe that he will.

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Rennes keeper David Ospina is the second waiting work experience clearance. The keeper had been praised by pundits like True and Alan Hansen, and has been a highly thought of keeper by Harris, according to close friend Jason Segel. "Neil's always saying that he want's a top keeper. He has been admiring David's talent for some time and hopes that he can lead them to glory."



Douglas is a player currently in talks with Southampton, but with Juventus and Bourissia Dortmund sniffing around, it seems unlikely the player will team up with the saint's.

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Another that could be joining the club is that of ex-pompey star Sulley Ali Muntari. The ghanian has endured a torrid time since returning to Italy, and was sold to Ac from rivals Inter. The midfielder just needs to regain form, and joining Southampton may just give him the regaining of form he needs.

We will also soon have news of the saints first game of the new year, in the FA Cup third round against Manchester United.

Harris V.S. Dowd

Neil Patrick Harris today has escaped a warning and a ban after having a rant about Phil Dowd, the referee in his side's 2-1 loss to Manchester United.

"The guys a joke." Harris said to reporter Gary Neville. "Nem was fouled in the box and we recieved no penalty. The Kagawa goal was offside, and the whole game he was just a f***er if you ask me".

The only reason he escaped a ban, is that Phil Dowd has agreed with the Saints boss, and has since apologised for doing the wrong decisions. Even Sir Alex Ferguson has said that his side was lucky to win. "Neil has been brilliant for southampton, and has transformed them into a tough team to beat. We where lucky the referee was a c*** today to Southampton, or we could have had a replay or worse been out of the cup."

Phil Jones, the man who injured Wellington Nem, has since not only apologised to Nem, but has agreed that he should of conceded a penalty. "yeah, I was a bit surprised there was no penalty, and Harris has every right to be aggrived."

One man however, who disagree's is Neville, the reporter who listened to Harris talk badly about Dowd. Neville replied "Maybe your team are just s***" which led to a full scale brawl, with Neville sacked from his job, and Harris fined £50, 000 by the Saints board for "tarnishing the clubs image".

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And another one bites the dust!

Tottenham are the latest big name club to suffer defeat to Neil Patrick Harris and Southampton after the Saint's pulled off a 1-0 win. Having already beaten Arsenal 1-0 and Chelsea 2-1, the fans where optimistic heading into this fixture against the league leaders.


Yaya Sanogo came off the bench to win on his debut, having signed on loan earlier in the week.