Brommapojkarna - Boys Amongst Men

Brommapojkarna – “Boys amongst men”

INTRODUCTION

WARNING! This story will contain loose language and the writer will also use less impressive similes, metaphors and clichés extensively in order to possibly excite the reader.

Well, where shall I start? As a Norwegian, I am essentially born to despise Sweden and all of what it entails. But if I have to be honest, there is really nothing about Sweden to despise. The women are decent and the booze is cheap, so… eh. My lack of nationalism and patriotism is not transferable into the world of football however, and maybe it is therefore the philosophy and structure of Brommapojkarna applies to me, sexually as well as intellectually. Nearly a whole team consisting of local players. A team depending on what the youth academy is able to produce in order to maintain a stable economy and a decent squad. You know the sensation that flushes through your body when finally reaching the bathroom after holding it in for a long time? Yes, that feeling is easily comparable to the feeling I am getting when explaining the club’s philosophy. I will try not to get too aroused during this story, but will do my utter best to share my deep, deep, deep love for this way of managing a club.

Recommendation: I would suggest you all hear the “song of the episode” while reading. For the introduction, the uncontested all-time champion of Disney songs “A Whole New World” will feature. The intention is not to go all sentimental on you, but if you let it all in as you read this, it will take you on a journey. Hopefully this will contribute to enhance the experience.

I could also perhaps have featured “Let’s get this party started” by Fergie(I have a hard time remembering the other members due to natural factors),but a Disney classic will trump every pop-song ever made in history throughout this story.

Tired of reading this utterly useless story? I hope not. As you already may have been able to conclude with, the main focus and main line of entertainment of this story will not always be connected to the footballing aspect and there will be digressions that hopefully everyone will get the gist of, at least.

Episode one will be posted later tonight!

Nice start m8, I will be following

EPISODE 1 – “Weak bitches”

Brommapojkarna, based in Stockholm, Sweden, is claimed to be one of the biggest clubs in Europe with an impressive 3000 players in their enormous youth division. However, the support in the insufficient stands of Grimsta are next to none, and the club struggles to keep up with the bigger teams located in Stockholm. After a bumpy ride up and down in the league system and several years experiencing both promotions and relegations, Brommapojkarna is yet again to be found in Allsvenskan and this time their new manager, me; Chukk Broski, plan to keep them up.

Song of the episode:
You’ll get it as you read.

My unattainable vision

Being the manager of a club that is predicted to relegate may lead you to believe the first thing to do is bring in someone who really strengthens the squad. Well, that’s not the case. Brommapojkarna will under my reign depend on what the youth academy produces. This also known as the talent factory challenge or La Masia challenge if you will, however this story comes with a twist. Barcelona enjoys selling their players and then buy them back whenever they reach a certain level. During this story, Brommapojkarna will be those scumbags. They will be the ones who let teams believe that they’ve purchased a star for the future and that this is a star willing to stay at the club forever, when in reality it is just a matter of time until they flash their wish to get their star back “where he belongs”. Fabregas, Jordi Alba, Gerard Pique, the instances are many, and booooy will this please me whenever I am the one to derive benefits from this type of douchebaggery.
Former graduates from Brommapojkarnas youth academy are players like John Guidetti, Albin Ekdal and perpetually young Bojan Djordic who is currently back in his mother club. This shows there are definitely potential amongst the kids in the streets of Stockholm, but the minimal youth facilities needs to be prioritized in order for me to grow some talent in my backyard.

The squad

Ah. The squad. A rather limited squad, to say the least. I’ll give you the highlights and lowlights, if that’s a word at all.


Davor Blazevic
http://i41.tinypic.com/2ynrp0p.png

We do really got some decent talent here. Allthough he lacks something mentally (no, he is not retarded, or is he?), he does possess some acceptable technical abilities that will do him well. His physical abilities are not anything to brag about either. I mean, his strength? Come on…


Gustav Sandberg Magnusson

Our defence is generally good, without any outstanding players. We have got this player though. In contrast to the man between the sticks, this guy possess some incredible mental stats in addition to some a couple of useful technical attributes. But again, what is up with his strength? And also, if he is as prone to injuries as the reports suggest, I will have to consider my options with this fellow.


Bojan Djordjic

Although he did not make quite make it in Manchester United or any other club for that matter, he is still a legend to me. His drug dealer-esque look really makes my knees shiver and hopefully this is also the mindset of the opposition. Yet again are those physical stats miserable…


Anton Sandberg Magnusson

These parents must have been in a hurry. His brother, Gustav, is a year older and plays DM. Another talented home-grown player that lacks strength. Wait. WHAT?! What are their parents feeding their kids? Seriously. This guy is basically a girl in a man’s body. I thought it was his goalkeeper rating, but no. Does he even lift?


Well, the squad isn’t great. But hopefully the boys will be good enough to avoid relegation.


Feedback is sincerely appreciated, and as I understand that this format may not bring all of you head over heels I would like you all to know that all types of feedback are welcome!