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Manchester United - It's All Lies

A Financially Twisted Story
Started on 30 March 2013 by JamieFMS
Latest Reply on 11 August 2013 by Jozef
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Deleted's avatar Deleted
Thanks lads! Let me recover from this hangover then I'll get loads more updates done :)
Deleted's avatar Deleted
12 yearsEdited
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Last Updated: 25th June 2012

Odds For The Next Manchester United Manager Announced

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Paddy Power was the first to give the odds out for the next Manchester United manager Steve Bruce tops the list.

Steve Bruce 5/2
Peter Schmeichel 25/1
Roy Keane 66/1
Eric Cantona 12/1
Andrew Cole 25/1
Ole Gunnar Solskjær 66/1
Teddy Sheringham 16/1
Jaap Stam 25/1
Fabien Barthez 66/1
Nicky Butt 16/1
Paul Ince 25/1
Mike Phelan 66/1
Gorden Strachan 16/1
Jose Mourinho 25/1
John Terry 80/1
Thierry Henry 18/1
Gianfranco Zola 25/1
Avram Grant 80/1
Walter Smith 20/1
Billy Davies 30/1
Steve McClaren 80/1
Nigel Adkins 20/1
Alex McLeish 33/1
Harry Redknapp 100/1
Rafael Benitez 40/1
Ruud Gullit 100/1
Dennis Bergkamp 20/1
Fabio Capello 40/1
Glenn Hoddle 100/1
Manuel Pelligrini 20/1
Roy Hodgson 50/1
Sam Allardyce 125/1
Dragan Stojkovic 22/1
Marcello Lippi 50/1
Raymond Domenech 125/1
Carlo Ancelotti 25/1
Phil Scolari 50/1
Alan Curbishley 125/1
Laurent Blanc 25/1
Dick Advocaat 50/1
Tony Adams 125/1
Harry Redknapp 25/1
Owen Coyle 50/1
Giovanni Trappatoni 150/1

Schmeichel for manager! Btw you put Capello twice.
2013-03-30 20:30#88441 MrJK :
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Last Updated: 24th June 2012

Manchester United Owner Brings In 14 New Directors

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Usain Bolt today was busy in meetings all day choosing his directors and his decision for the final 14 have been decided.

"All the directors i have chosen are strictly Manchester United fans and bring in some money to help the club achieve it's status once again, the directors are only here to help with decisions and add funds if needed, we do know that we don't have a great chance if we do ever get back to the Premier League as we cannot compete with the billionaire owners, but getting back into the premier league is all that we want."


Managing Director - Justin Timberlake
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/justin_zps64ece1ec.png
Justin Randall Timberlake (born January 31, 1981) is an American singer-songwriter, actor, dancer, record producer, and entrepreneur. Born in Memphis, Tennessee, he appeared in the television shows Star Search and The New Mickey Mouse Club as a child. In the late 1990s, Timberlake rose to prominence as the lead singer and youngest member of the boy band 'N Sync, whose launch was financed by Lou Pearlman.


Director Of Football - Ryan Giggs
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/ryangiggs_zpsb851de26.png
Ryan Joseph Giggs, (born Ryan Joseph Wilson; 29 November 1973) is a Welsh footballer who plays for Manchester United. Giggs made his first appearance for the club during the 1990–91 season and has been a regular player since the 1991–92 season. He established himself as a left winger during the 1990s, and continued in this position well into the 2000s, though he has been increasingly used in a deeper playmaking role in his latter years. Giggs is known for his tireless running, ball possession and ability to create goalscoring opportunities for those around him.


Director - Paul Scholes
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/paulscholes_zps622c61b6.png
Paul Scholes (born 16 November 1974) is an English footballer, a one-club man who has played his entire professional career for Manchester United. Born in Salford, but later moving to Langley, Scholes excelled in both cricket and football whilst at school. He first trained with Manchester United at the age of 14 after being spotted by a scout visiting his school, signing for them as an apprentice on leaving school in 1991, and turning professional in 1993. He made his full debut for United in the 1994–95 season. He went on to play a key part in the club's Treble-winning success in the 1998–99 season, and has won ten Premier League, three FA Cup and two UEFA Champions League winners medals.


Director - Olly Murs
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/ollymurs_zps76a5f466.png
Oliver Stanley "Olly" Murs (born 14 May 1984) is an English singer-songwriter, musician and television presenter. Murs rose to fame after finishing as the runner-up in the sixth series of The X Factor in 2009. He is currently signed to Epic Records in the United Kingdom, Columbia Records in the United States, and Syco Music.


Director - Megan Fox
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/meganfox_zps03e4a7cf.png
Megan Denise Fox (born May 16, 1986) is an American actress and model. She began her acting career in 2001, with several minor television and film roles, and played a regular role on the Hope & Faith television show. In 2004, she made her film debut with a role in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. In 2007, she co-starred as Mikaela Banes, the love interest of Shia LaBeouf's character, in the blockbuster film, Transformers, which became her breakout role. Fox reprised her role in the 2009 sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Later in 2009, she starred as the eponymous lead in the film Jennifer's Body. Fox is also considered one of the modern female sex symbols and has appeared in magazines such as Maxim, Rolling Stone and FHM.


Director - Manny Pacquiao
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/mannypaxquai_zpsa55b2750.png
Emmanuel "Manny" Dapidran Pacquiao born December 17, 1978) is a Filipino professional boxer and politician. He is the first eight-division world champion, in which he has won ten world titles, as well as the first to win the lineal championship in four different weight classes.


Director - Ian McShane
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/ianmcshane_zpsf92137f3.png
Ian David McShane (born 29 September 1942) is an English actor, director, producer and voice artist. Despite appearing in numerous films, McShane is best known for his television roles, particularly the BBC's Lovejoy (1986–94) and HBO's Western drama Deadwood (2004–06). McShane starred as King Silas Benjamin in NBC series Kings, Bishop Waleran in The Pillars of the Earth, Tai Lung in Kung Fu Panda, and as Blackbeard in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.


Director - Gary Neville
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Gary Alexander Neville (born 18 February 1975) is an English former footballer. He is England's most capped right-back and was Manchester United's club captain for five years. Neville spent his entire playing career at Old Trafford, making him a rare one-club man. At the time of his retirement in 2011, he was United's second longest serving player in the squad, behind his long-time team-mate Ryan Giggs. He made his international debut in 1995 and was first-choice right-back for club and country for more than ten years.


Director - Floyd Mayweather
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/flooymayweather_zpscb69c7ef.png
Floyd Joy Mayweather, Jr., (born Floyd Sinclair February 24, 1977) is an American professional boxer. He is a five-division world champion, who has won eight world titles and the Lineal championship in three different weight classes. Mayweather is a two-time Ring Fighter of the Year (winning the award in 1998 and 2007); he also won the Boxing Writers Association of America (BWAA) Fighter of the Year award in 2007 and the Best Fighter ESPY Award in 2007, 2008, 2010 and 2012. He is undefeated as a professional boxer.


Director - Enrique Iglesias
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/enrqiue_zps907a18bb.png
Enrique Iglesias (born Enrique Miguel Iglesias Preysler; May 8, 1975) is a Spanish singer-songwriter, model, actor, and record producer. Iglesias started his career in the mid-1990s on an American Spanish Language record label Fonovisa which helped turn him into one of the biggest stars in Latin America and the Hispanic Market in the United States becoming the biggest seller of Spanish-language albums of that decade. He made a successful crossover into the mainstream market and signed a multi-album deal with Universal Music Group for an unprecedented US $50,000,000 with Universal Music Latino to release his Spanish albums and Interscope to release English albums. In 2010, he parted with Interscope and signed with another Universal Music Group label, Universal Republic.


Director - Dwight Yorke
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/dwightyorke_zpse7ec5d85.png
Dwight Eversley Yorke (born 3 November 1971 in Canaan, Tobago) is a Trinidad and Tobago former football player. He played for Aston Villa, Manchester United, Blackburn Rovers, Birmingham City, Sydney FC and Sunderland. He was the assistant manager of the Trinidad and Tobago national team until the completion of the qualifying matches for the 2010 FIFA World Cup.


Director - Aubrey Graham
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/drake_zps380c52f3.png
Aubrey Drake Graham (born October 24, 1986), who records under the mononym Drake, is a Canadian recording artist, rapper, songwriter, and actor. He was born in Toronto, Ontario,[1] and became known for playing Jimmy Brooks on the television series Degrassi: The Next Generation. He later rose to prominence as a rapper, releasing several mixtapes before signing to Young Money Entertainment. Drake's EP, So Far Gone (2009), spawned the smash single "Best I Ever Had" and moderate hit "Successful". His debut studio album, Thank Me Later (2010), debuted at number one on the Billboard 200[3] and spawned the successful singles "Over" and "Find Your Love". It was certified Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). His second album, Take Care (2011), is his most successful to date, topping charts in the United States and Canada and produced multiple smash singles, including "Headlines", "Take Care", "Make Me Proud", and "The Motto", the latter of which is also credited for popularizing the widely used acronym YOLO. He embarked on the worldwide Club Paradise Tour, which became the most successful hip-hop tour of 2012, grossing over $42 million.


Director - Dominic Monaghan
http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b513/MrJK1/dominicmoganahan_zps861f18b6.png
Dominic Bernard Patrick Luke Monaghan (born 8 December 1976) is a German-born English actor. He has received international attention from playing Meriadoc Brandybuck in Peter Jackson's adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings and for his role as Charlie Pace on the television show Lost.



Director - David Beckham
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David Robert Joseph Beckham (born 2 May 1975) is an English footballer who currently plays for French Ligue 1 club Paris Saint-Germain. He has played for Manchester United, Preston North End, Real Madrid, Milan, Los Angeles Galaxy and the England national team for which he holds the appearance record for an outfield player.
Great idea ,but please take off Drake as a director ,cause in Man utd we don't allow gays !
Deleted's avatar Deleted
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Last Updated: 26th June 2012

Peter Schmeichel spotted entering Old Trafford

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Peter Schmeichel was today spotted entering Old Trafford by a BBC Sport photographer, could he be the next United manager?

Manchester United fans are eager to find out the new manager following the on goings at the club this summer, Paddy Power released some betting odds of who the next manager would be and it seems Peter Schmeichel could be in the line for the job.

There has been a lot of response to on the forums following the sight of Peter entering Old Trafford and we'll read you a few out..

James from Manchester wrote: I'm a massive fan of Schmeichel, i for one would love to see him back at the club and get us back to the Premier League

Carl from London wrote: Unsure about this really, he's got no experience in managing but then again we are in the Blue Square Premier it's a great chance for him to start off his career.

Harry from Macclesfield wrote: Who ever gets the job is basically entering the impossible if I'm honest, he's going to have to get all the staff, sell most of the players and then re acquire aload more players, lets be honest players like Wayne Rooney aint going to play in the Blue Square Premier.

I agree with the removal of Drake. I reckon all fans of United would protest against that. Add Harry Styles instead! :D

Like the idea so far, it's going well. But in the manager post, how does Denis Bergkamp, a rival of Utd get 20/1 odds, while Mike Phelan only has 66/1? ;)

Keep it up!
Harry Styles ??? i said not gays Devil...why not a real rapper ,like Eminem ,Ice Cube,50 Cent or Nas !
Deleted's avatar Deleted
All the directors are fans of Manchester United.

And there only odds Devil. ;)
Deleted's avatar Deleted
Just let the game go on, there's so many ways i can get rid of directors from the club...
Deleted's avatar Deleted
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Last Updated: 27th June 2012

Bolt Axes All Staff

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Usain Bolt has today axed the whole of his staff including Assistant Manager Mike Phelan leaving nobody in charge apart from the chairman and directors.

It seems a new manager is urgently needed at United after Bolt axed all of the staff including scouts and physios. Manchester United gave a statement following the departure of the staff.

"Unfortunately we have had to terminate the contracts of all the staff as we just cannot afford the wages of the staff, once we get a new manager it will give him a chance to start from fresh by getting a whole new staff team on less wages, we do wish the best to the staff for all the hard work they have done in the past for this club but times have changed and we need to cut our losses next season"

It seem United is falling apart and a manager is desperately needed.

Deleted's avatar Deleted
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Last Updated: 27th June 2012

Peter Schmeichel Gets United Job

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Peter Schmeichel today was announced as the new Manchester United manager and has the biggest job on his hands but believes it's doable.

Manchester United fans this morning can have something to smile about following the news of ex goalkeeper Schmeichel as been given a chance to redeem Man Utd from the ashes and make them the biggest team in the world once again but he's got huge hurdles to climb first.

We spoke to Schmeichel earlier today and this is what he had to say "I know I've never managed a club before but this is a great chance for me to get experience I've never really left Manchester United it was my favorite club to play for and to see the situation that we are in it seems quite surreal. I have got alot of work to do and the first thing i need to do is have a meeting with the directors and then the players and go from there, it's early stages yet"

Are the fans happy with the appointment of the ex Manchester United goalkeeper? We spoke to some of the fans outside the ground.

"I'm delighted with him getting the job, he was always a fans favorite when he was here"

"It's finally a bit of good news after all the doom and gloom we've had in the last 3 weeks but i expect most of the players will be leaving and he's got a huge job trying to get some players in"

Great update MrJK. Keep it going.
Deleted's avatar Deleted
Thanks Glenn! Great comments like that make me keep going.

I'm just eager to start the season now, just a few more updates and i can actually start the game.
2013-04-01 20:30#88954 MrJK : Thanks Glenn! Great comments like that make me keep going.

I'm just eager to start the season now, just a few more updates and i can actually start the game.

I'll be sure to comment every time I read then :D Really looking forward to what you can do with United in the lower leagues.
Deleted's avatar Deleted
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Last Updated: 29th June 2012

Man Utd Cancel All Affiliations

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Manchester United today cancelled all affiliations to ease financial structure.

More cut backs hit Manchester United as they today cancelled all the affiliations including Desportivo Brasil, Altrincham, Bury, Fluminesnse, FC Twente, Molde, Newcastle Town, Antwerp and Curzon Ashton.

The club seems to be doing everything at the minute to cut back on the money.

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