BPL Chairman Game Story

Villains complete Nasri deal

Aston Villa have completed the signing of 25 year old French Midfielder Samir Nasri just a day after the takeover from the New Chairman Emile Heskey. The fee is believed to be around the region of £35.5 million which would be a record signing for Villa. Their previous most expensive signing was Darren Bent for £20 million in 2011. Samir Nasri made 103 appearances for Manchester City scoring 13 goals. In a press conference held at Villa Park, Nasri stated "I look forward to playing alongside a great manager with world class team mates and I Strongly believe that We can make a push for European football

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Samir Nasri was spotted in Birmingham on Sunday morning and went straight to a private hospital to undergo his medical. Aston Villa Manager Paul Lambert also said "He is a great player, with proven quality at both club and international level. We have watched and admired him for some time as he has all the attributes I look for in an Aston Villa player.

Del Bosque takes the reigns

In a shocking turn of events new chairman, Dave Whelan, has sacked manager, Steve Bruce, despite Bruce leading the club back to the Premier League. The new man Vincent Del Bosque, resigned as Spain National team manager last week and immediately returned to football management, by joining the ‘Tigers.’
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(Steve Bruce leaves the KC)

There has been mixed reactions towards both the sacking and the appointment, with many people saying Whelan has made a wrong decision. One man told us ‘Well Whelan replaces Bruce with Del Bosque, which is very interesting, since Del Bosque isn’t very adaptable but once he settles in, I believe he’ll do well.’ He then added, ‘People are complaining about Whelan but, we could have that crazy Asian man, Vincent Tan!’
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(Vincent Del Bosque, above, has it all to prove, following Hull fan concerns)

Arsenal sold, Arséne sacked, team renamed

After so many chairman changes in the Premier League, one of the more high-profile ones have just happened - Sir John Keswick, Arsenal chairman, has sold the club to Ukrainian psychopath Mykhailo Holub, much to fans outrage.

According to Ukraine Today, Holub, 26, has been involved in many crimes and been to jail on three two-year stints. One for "accidentally" murdering a poor member of the public, two for "accidentally" murdering the president of Ukraine, three for "accidentally" murdering a journalist for Ukraine Today. *sniff sniff*

Holub has already made a statement in two different ways, both extremely controversial. The Ukrainian sacked long-running manager Arséne Wenger, claiming he was "too French" for the job. This is the less controversial move Mykhailo has made...

Yes, Mykhailo Holub changed Arsenal's name to FC Arsenal Champions, despite the club not winning a trophy since 2004. This has divided Arsenal Champions fans, some thinking it shows glory, others thinking it shows arrogance.

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FORMAN TAKES OVER WBA
The WB Times have exclusively found out about George Forman's taking-over of WBA. We gave him 5 questions.
"What do you plan to do with the club?"
"Appoint myself as manager."
"How old are you?"
"Five."
"Who is your main transfer target?"
"Nathan Baker. Then Mum won't have to do the cooking."
"What if you get relegated?"
"I'll have a tantrum."
"What will you do next?"
"Have lunch."

What do you think, WBA fans?

The frenzy around the Premier League concerning all the new chairmen in town, has finally hit Southampton, who today, have confirmed that Nicola Cortese has been sacked from her role as excetutive chairman. Cortese, under the guidance of owner Katharina Liebherr (who replaced the late Markus Liebherr), had led the club famously to a double promotion, from League 1 into the top flight of English football, before cementing their status after a good opening account in the 12/13 season, where they confortablely finished 14th, although they did replace Nigel Atkins, for Argentinian head coach Mauricio Pochettino, after a not so great start in the first half of the season.

The replacement they have chosen is unknown Australian businessman Taramasalata Ilikekangaroo. Taramasalata has a growing reputation in the stock market world, as well as being a keen buyer of zoos, to host his various animal-related enterprises, such as one in Melbourne, which witnessed the largest gathering of kangaroos in recorded history. This rather outrageous event, raised a lot of money, which he kindly donated to the Australian version of the RSPCA, but has, rather unfortunately earned his the reputation of a very eccentric, slightly crazy man, which has swayed a lot of fans into doubting this appointment.

Mr. Ilikekangaroo was available for comment as he left the Saints' training ground, and left the fans and critics alike thinking hard about whether this was the right choice for the club.

‘Thank you, thank you. I’m very proud to stand here as chairman of…Northampton? Southampton, that’s it. I want to help the club move forward both in terms of our facilities and league finishes, and hopefully we can get into the Asian Champions League! Or African. Or European. Or Antarctican. Whatever. I will be taking a closer look at the manager and staff to see whether they like kangaroo’s or koalas, and sack them based on that decision. Finally, I would like to thank the owner, who I have a very, very close relationship with, for giving me this chance. Our love affair will….I mean, our working relationship will hopefully blossom a new age for this club. And stuff. Bye now.’

News has yet to reach us whether any new staffing changes at St. Marys have taken place, but until then, we are all going to be thinking what was going through the owner’s and board’s mind when they made this appointment.

Werner Out

Tom Werner

Liverpool chairman, Tom Werner today announced his bankruptcy and departure from the club. Werner reportedly spent his millions of pounds in a casino, only to lose every last penny. Werner spent all his money in an casino somewhere in Merseyside playing blackjack and, cockily, he bet a million pounds on each hand.

As a result of his bankruptcy, Werner was forced to sell the club to English entrepreneur Mysee Man. Mysee Man was very excited about owning something, as he's only just gained his fortune through an invention. He refused to reveal the invention, but rumour has it that it has something to do with pants.

Man explained that he wanted to bring the club towards success by making the right signings and using the right manager. He said that he would not be replacing Brendan Rodgers as he is the right manager to take the club forward. Man has already announced the signing of David Marshall from Cardiff for 5M and Leroy Fer from Norwich for 14.5M.

In walks David Moyes, followed by Johnny Evans, Ryan Giggs, Wayne Rooney, Tom Cleverley, Michael Carrick, Alexander Buttner $ Fabio da Silva. They all take a seat along the back wall, Mr. Moyes nearest the podium. Every of of their faces uncertain.

Moments later, a relatively short man effortlessly glides into the conference room from the public entrance, and seemingly unaware of everybody's disbelief, walks straight up to the podium... Is this a joke?



#TOBECONTINUED

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TRIO OF SIGNINGS
New West Brom chairman, George Forman, has signed three new players to strengthen the Baggies.

Andreas Cornelius should help the forwards to shine. He cost 15 million and will be paid 75k per week.

Pablo Hernandez cost 16m. His wages are unconfirmed. He is hoping to control the midfield and will bring some Swansea flair to the Baggies.

Finally, Nathan Baker was bought for 9 million pounds. His wages are also unconfirmed.

George Forman has stated he is not completely done in the transfer window yet...

Norwich City have today announced that after weeks of uncertainty and drawn out negotiations, Emirati businessman Abdullah Bin Sayed Masood has finally taken over as the chairman, after buying the club out from previous owner Alan Bowkett. The general reception of this news is being met with optimism and hope for the future by the Norwich fans, who will be hoping that Mr Masood uses his business links and personal finance to benefit the club. And the new man will be popular, after promising that he is willing to spend money to get this club into shape. With a reported £65 million transfer budget available, it will be interesting to see who the club can attract, but after the recent take over of all of the Premier League clubs, it will be tough to fight off their rivals. It remains to be seen whether or not the current Norwich players will be used in the squad, but it appears that the new chairman is keeping some things the same, after he refused the chance to dismiss Chris Hughton.

Diego Simeone has stepped down from his post at Atletico Madrid in favour of Swansea City. Diego is apparently delighted to be given this opportunity. At the press conference that was held this morning to confirm the appointment Diego had this to say: "I have no regrets about my decision, I was happy at Atletic and we were doing very well, I had players that I was, and still am, excited to see develop such as Diego (Costa) and Koke. But that was in the past and now I am at Swansea and I am very much looking forward to working with the quality that is possessed by this club, such as Jonjo (Shelvey) and the two recent signings of Alvaro (Negredo) and Jesus (Navas) who I have watched countless times in Spain. I am also definitely looking forward to working under a very forward thinking chairman."


Diego Simeone retired from Playing in 2005 aged 34 after a career that saw him play 514 games in Spain, Italy and Argentina for teams such as Lazio and Atletico Madrid. Diego's first venture into management was with Estudaintes (EP) where he reigned from 2006 to 2007. Diego also managed River Plate, San Lorenzo, Catania and Racing Club before being appointed as Atletico Madrid manager in 2011 where he went on to win the UEFA Europa League and UEFA Super Cup defeating fellow La Liga team Athletic Bilbao and Chelsea respectively.

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THREE OUT, ONE IN FOR ALBION
Everton won the transfer race for Claudio Yacob with a bid of 9 million. Everton fans are extremely happy with the signing, while Baggies fans are pessimistic about their club's chances without their star man.

Also on the way out is Morrison, who insignificantly signed for Hull on a 4.5 million transfer.
Huddlestone is making the reverse journey and signed a 6.5 million deal to sign for West Brom. The funds for this were made by selling Chris Brunt, who went to Liverpool for another 6.5 mil fee.

New chairman makes early deals.

New Everton Chairman has started his reign with a busy week of transfers. In response to these transfers Maximillian Steel has expressed his happiness with the deals and also with his efforts to bring down the age of the defense, He had this to say; " Everton, whilst having a strong team filled with quality had a few key players on the wrong side of 30. Furthermore i felt that whilst controversial the sale of Leighton Baines was needed to fund future foreign transfers and will represent part of Everton's efforts to modenise and to strengthen the all round strength of the squad.

Transfers Summary
Out
Kone
Heitinga
Baines
Oviedo
Osman
Distin

In
Fabio Da Silva
Antonio Luna
Claudio Yacob
Curtis Davis


New signings bedding in

Fans have expressed concern that the overall quality of the team has been effected and are concerned that the transfer surplus may not be spent on new players as has so often be the tale for Everton football club. Furthermore Everton fans are upset that fan favourite Sylvain Distin and academy graduate Leon Osman have been forced out of the club but the new chairman says this does not represent the madness of king tan but rather a move to change the age profile and promises high profile signings will follow. These signings steel promises will help Everton move to the next stage of their progression and big things are in the future of Everton! Furthermore he promises a warchest will be provided for Roberto Martinez.


Mystery signings await.

Hull have broke their previous record signing today, after completing a 15 million pound move for Chelsea’s Samuel Eto’o. Eto’o joined after completing a medical yesterday and the ex Barcelona star will add that little bit of spice up front and bag the goals to potentially keep Hull up this season. Eto’o is a champions league winner after winning the competition several times at Barcelona.

Eto’o is very excited, after we questioned him about his move to the KC
In = Interviewer
SE = Samuel Eto’o

IN: Hello Samuel, can I ask, what brought you to the club?
SE: Well, the fact that Hull is a club fighting to stay up is a new challenge for me, I hope my goals will help the team achieve their goal.
IN: What are your thoughts on the other new signings, such as Thomas Rosicky, Ryan Bertrand and Nathan Dyer?
SE: I think they’re going to be great teammates to be around on and off the pitch. I look forward to seeing the potential of Ryan, the flair of Dyer and the settling in of all the other players.
IN: There are rumours going round that one of your teammates, Tom Huddlestone is departing the club in the following days, are those true?
SE: Yes, he will sadly be leaving the club, we had a little chat when I first entered the training ground. He told me that he’s joining West Brom, which he believes will be the next step for him, and his career.
IN: Thank you for your time, Samuel, good luck at the ‘Tigers.’
SE: Cheers.

Rorschach...

This supposedly fictional character is the new owner and chairman of the biggest club in the world, Manchester United. He did not allow any cameras in the conference room, it has since emerged that this is because he revealed his face whilst talking about his already extremely active stint at the club.

It would appear unlike many other clubs, Rorschach, true identity still unknown to the people that were not in that press room, has decided to still with the current staff at Old Trafford and Carrington. As for the players though, the ones we saw enter the press room I beleive will never be seen on the red side of Manchester again.

The saddest departure being that of the Welsh Wizard, the legend that is Ryan Giggs, but it is thought that Rorschach made a crude joke about a certain injunction, which incidentally he has taken out himself so his true identity remains secret.


This is a man who will never be able to hide his true emotion as long as that mysterious mask remains on his face...

#TOBECONTINUED

Villains eye Giovinco

Juventus midfielder Sebastian Giovinco has been strongly linked with a move to Villa Park with reports saying that Aston Villa are willing to go up to £16 million in transfer fees in an attempt to sign the man that they have been eyeing for a long time. The out of favour Italy international was the subject of a tried - and failed - bid from the Villains earlier this summer, and reports were circling that they could renew that interest this week with the arrival of new Chairman Emile Heskey giving them the financial power to sign world class players.

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Sebastian Giovinco has attracted the attention of many Top European clubs such as Atletico Madrid and Borussia Dortmund but it seems that French moneybags PSG are in pole position for His signature. However Aston Villa Boss Paul Lambert remains adamant and insists that his club will do everything in their power to land the 26 year old. Sebastian Giovinco has made a total of 91 appearances for Juventus scoring 15 goals and was also part of the 2013 Seria A winning Juventus team.