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David Healy; Hardboiled [Northern Ireland LLM]

David Healy, a down and out retired Northern Ireland international star, must rekindle his passion for the game in his new role as an LLM Football Manager. [FM14]
Started on 16 April 2014 by Arch Mon
Latest Reply on 20 June 2014 by Josh_MU
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
Northern Ireland LLM
David Healy; Hardboiled
hard–boiled adjective \-?bo?i(-?)ld\ of an egg : boiled until all the inside parts have become solid: not feeling or showing emotions such as affection or kindness : emotionally tough: having a tough main character: devoid of sentimentality : : of, relating to, or being a story featuring a tough unsentimental protagonist and a matter-of-fact attitude towards life's injustices



SUMMARY

The Manager

Warning - Spoilers!

The Club

Warning - Spoilers!


STAFF
Chairman
Manager
Goalkeeping Coach
Head Scout

TEAMS
Senior Squad
League Table
Cup Competitions
Fixtures
Intermediate Squad
Players
League Table
Fixtures
Junior Squad
Players
League Table
Fixtures

INFRASTRUCTURE
Facilities
Finances

Episode Guide

Soundtrack (coming soon)

Warning - Spoilers!

Skip to Latest Update (2014-May-28)
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
The Lough Down - Prologue



Hardboiled is the story of a down and out retired footballer who must find a new calling in life in the world of football management.

The story revolves around our protagonist, David Healy, the all-time leading scorer for Northern Ireland with 39 goals in 95 caps, who also holds the record for the highest scoring tally during a UEFA European Championship qualifying campaign with 13. Despite his illustrious international career, Healy seemed unable to find a solid footing while bouncing from club to club.

"Despite his illustrious international career, Healy seemed unable to find a solid footing while bouncing from club to club."


The boy from Killyleagh began his professional career at Manchester United Youth Academy in 1995, signing a professional contract with Man U in 1999. Man U had a tradition of bringing in hot prospects from Northern Ireland and Healy was billed as the next George Best. However, in the high flying late 90's - early 2000's when Man U was bringing in the best talent from around the world at any cost, Healy was unable to break into the first team. By age 21, he was allowed to be transferred to Preston North End for 1.5 million pounds.

He spent three years with Preston, maintaining a healthy goals to games ratio, before transferring to Leeds United in 2004. After three years to Leeds he moved on to Fulham for a season, before settling at Sunderland in 2008.

He thought he landed his dream job when moved north to Scotland to play for the club he supported as a boy, Glasgow Rangers, in January 2011. He helped the Gers to the SPL title in 2010–11 and also played in the 2011 League Cup final victory. The dream became a nightmare however, when the Gers entered liquidation towards the end of the 2011–12 season after it was discovered that they were caught up in a dodgy tax scheme and bank dealings that allowed them to overspend on transfers for years.

He joined Bury for a one-season spell in August 2012. After an injury plagued season, he was released from Bury in May of 2013. Disillusioned with the game he once loved, Healy decided to hang up his boots once and for all with an eye towards management. This is where our story begins...

The Lough Down - Season 1, Episode 1



EXT. HIGH STREET, KILLYLEAGH - NIGHT

[kicking an empty tall can down the street]

David Healy:
“He shoots... it's in! The home crowd is ecstatic! Their first win over England since 1972.
[singing] Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head,
The stars in the bright sky looked down where He lay
He lay, HE-LAY, HEA-LY!”

I sang slurringly, splashing and sputtering down High Street reliving my former glory. [Blows on the empty bottle of scotch for the final whistle]

David Healy:
"And that's it, David Healy has won it for Northern Ireland. Northern Ireland 1, England Nil."

Highland Park 18, Orkney’s finest, was a retirement gift from Ally McCoist. Poor Ally. Captain of the Titanic. Or was he the engineer that built the hull? His palette for expensive Spanish footballers was as refined as mine for fine single malts. Both have the potential to do us in if not moderated.


Most wouldn’t think scotch much of a consolation prize for my lost millions. When the music ran out on Rangers, I was caught holding a three year contract not worth the paper it was written on. I tried to get on at Bury but you know me and my luck with clubs. I injured my ankle. Bury fans were less than understanding after spending a big transfer fee to bring me in. They kept piling on. The season was over and we were relegated and I was the scapegoat. That was the season I lost the fire. Not like the international days. Those were the days. I long for those days. I long for a 'Club Northern Ireland'.

"I long for a 'Club Northern Ireland'."


Then it hit me… I forgot my keys in the pub. Damn. And now it’s closed til tomorrow. Hell. I’m locked out of my room at the Inn.

David Healy:
“Away in a manger, no crib for a bed…” [humming]

Defeated, here I lay, in a tunnel next to the Dufferin Arms. Directionless, for the first time in my life. There is freedom in nothingness. I just want to sleep here for a while. I don’t mind the dampness.

Just then, a silhouette of a man stands at the end of the tunnel. Light from the gas light refracts off the rain drops behind him. Is he going to rob me? Stab me? God, I hope he doesn’t ask for my autograph.

David Healy:
“Any closer and I’ll...,”

The man continues to approach. He reaches out to grab me. That’s when I blacked out…

Next Episode: The Baptist
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
The Baptist - Season 1, Episode 2

EXT. KILLYLEAGH QUAY - SUNRISE
When you're drowning in the ocean, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you don’t scream ‘Help me dammit, I’m drowning!,’ you are rendered mute by the shock of it all.

I manage to surface, gasping for air. “It’s cold!,” is all I could muster. Treading water, the familiar surroundings come into focus. Killyleagh Quay. It was first morning light on the Strangford Lough. The place St. Patrick first arrived in Ireland. They drilled that into us at Sunday school.

A Voice:
“Catch.”

A life preserver splatted next to me. The voice was a familiar one.

David Healy:
“Dee? That you?”

My eyes, still blurry from the salt water, now fixed on the man on the dock – my childhood coach, Dee Heron.

.

Dee Heron:
“Look at the state of you Davie. You’ll end up like Gazza you keep going this way.”

"You’ll end up like Gazza you keep going this way."

David Healy:
“I don’t need the sermon, nor the baptism, thank you very much.”
Dee Heron:
“Like hell...” [tows him in] “Come on then, let’s get you dry and warmed up.”

Next Episode: The International
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
The International - Season 1 Episode 3

INT. THE INTERNATIONAL PUB - MORNING
The whistle of the kettle screams as I stare at a replica of my 2003 Northern Ireland Jersey framed and mounted on the wall of The International pub.

Dee Heron:
Cup a tea?
David Healy:
“Irish Breakfast, double steeped.” [Heron looks paternally at Healy]
“Please?”
Dee Heron:
“Sugar?”
David Healy:
“No thanks, I'm sweet enough. Err, just cream. Please.”
Dee Heron:
“They don’t have any cream, just Baileys.”
David Healy:
“Why do you suppose every place in this town is a pub?” [rhetorically]

"Why do you suppose every place in this town is a pub?"

Dee Heron:
“Because, it’s filled with degenerates such as yourself. C’mon son, a little hair a the dog will do you well. You’re still soaking.
David Healy:
“Thanks to you. I would be dry had you not decided to throw an unconscious man into the ocean. Were you trying to kill me?”
Dee Heron:
“You would be dead in the gutter after choking on your own vomit had I not intervened. You needed sobering up. What happened to you Davie?”
David Healy:
“Life I suppose. Molly’s run out on me Dee. And She’s taken the kids."
Dee Heron:
“Jezus. What on earth for?”
David Healy:
“I never hit her Dee, if that’s what you’re thinking. I swear. After relegation Bury dropped me, I’m just on edge lately you know? So, I got a little loud one night. She scares easily is all."
Dee Heron:
“I remember your temper well. Your passion on the pitch was always your greatest strength, but it was also your greatest weakness if not kept properly in check.”
David Healy:
“The monies run out. I have to sell the flat in London to make child support and the decorator wants me out while she’s staging it and my realtor wants me out while she shows it because, well I’m messy."
Dee Heron:
“All the women in your life want rid of you it seems.”
David Healy:
“Yeah, even the ones I’m paying. Err, that didn't come out right.”
Dee Heron:
“Where are you staying now?”
David Healy:
“Dufferin Arms Inn, for now."
Dee Heron:
“So, what are your plans for the future?”
David Healy:
“I dunno, I'd like to be a writer. Try to get on at the Telegraph full time maybe? I've always wanted to write detective novels too - stories about some hardboiled Belfast cop.”
Dee Heron:
“Yes, I’ve seen your column in the 'Graph.”
David Healy:
“And?”
Dee Heron:
“Don’t quit your day job.”
David Healy:
“That’s just it, isn’t it? I don’t have a day job anymore.”
Dee Heron:
“Football.”
David Healy:
“It’s not in me anymore Dee. My ankle’s shot and well, the game’s not been kind to me lately.”
Dee Heron:
“Not playing, I’m talking coaching. And, stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
David Healy:
“Who would have me? I have no experience coaching. I don’t even have my badges for that.”
Dee Heron:
“Here’s the thing Davie, I’m taking the club pro.”
David Healy:
“The Youth Club? When?”
Dee Heron:
“Next season. We’ll still have the Youth Club, but we’ll have a professional Senior side as well, for the grads. This club has been nurturing and hemorrhaging talent for decades with no monetary reward. It’s time we cashed in and reinvested in our own operation.”
David Healy:
“And the amateur side, what becomes of them?”
Dee Heron:
“Some will make the cut, some won’t. There’s always the Sunday Leagues. This project is bigger than any one player, this will revitalize the community.”
David Healy:
“So what do you want with me? What are you after?”
Dee Heron:
“We need someone with your…"
David Healy:
[interrupting] “Like I said before Dee, the monies all gone.”
Dee Heron:
“Not money… Gravitas.”
David Healy:
“Gravitas?”
Dee Heron:
“Yes, Gravitas. You’re a national treasure for Christ sakes. You have a professional network. You could bring a lot to the club.”
David Healy:
“I dunno Dee, I appreciate your offer and everything, but it’s kinda… small potatoes. I was hoping for something more along the lines of Rangers, or even the National Team, but Killyleagh?”
Dee Heron:
“Your roots are here in Killyleagh. When you’re down, it’s best to go back where you started, regroup, come out stronger than ever. Your career’s not over Davie, it’s just beginning. A new career. A new beginning. C’mon, whataya say?”
David Healy:
“I’ll think about it, but don’t count on me. I have a lot of irons on the fire.”

Next Episode: Swimming with Sharks
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
The Shark - Season 1, Episode 4 - Part 1

INT. DUFFERIN ARMS INN - DAY
The world of football is nothing like the shiny, sanitised product that they sell in underwear ads.
The game is chalked full of chancers, parasites and hangers-on just out to make a quick killing.

The worst base defilers of the beautiful game are the agents, and the higher up the food chain you go, the greedier they seem to become.

Once it looks like you are on your way out, they will drop you like a hot iron.

After a week of dodging me, I tried one last time to reach my agent,
.
[ring, ring… ring, ring]

Wendy:
"BSA Limited, this is Wendy speaking, how may I help you?"
David Healy:
"Is Stephen Hughes available please?"
Wendy:
"May I ask who is calling?"
David Healy:
"Yes, it’s David Healy."
Wendy:
"Please hold Mr. Healy."

"Please hold Mr. Healy."


[waiting several minutes]

Wendy:
"I’m sorry Mr. Healy but Mr. Hughes is not in the office at the moment. May I take a message?"
David Healy:
"How convenient. He’s been out every time I’ve called this week. When do you expect him to return?"
Wendy:
"I’m not sure Mr. Healy, but if you leave a message I will be sure to pass it along to him."
David Healy:
"Please let him know that his client, David Healy, is thinking about getting into management and I would like to see if he knows of any management openings. Tell him I expect a call back by Friday or I’m dropping him as my agent."
Wendy:
"I will let him know. Thank you, Mr. Healy. Goodbye."

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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
The Shark - Season 1, Episode 4 - Part 2

Finally, on Friday, the phone rings...

Stephen Hughes:
"‘Ello David, how are you mate? Sorry to keep you waiting. Big goings on. I have something for you, which is going to knock your socks off… How do you feel about, wait for it... 'BERMUDA'?”

"I have something for you, which is going to knock your socks off… How do you feel about, wait for it... 'BERMUDA'?"


David Healy:
"Bermuda? You mean like for a holiday?
Stephen Hughes:
"No, to manage the Bermudan National Team in the World Cup Qualifiers. As a commonwealth nation, you are eligible under their Association charter and they are very interested in a big name football star coaching their team. What do you say?
David Healy:
"Do they have a snowballs chance to qualify?
Stephen Hughes:
"Well no, but… you’re looking at it the wrong way. Think of the scantily clad lassies on the beach, the sun and the palm trees. You’ll be sipping a Pena Colada on the balcony of your own sea side villa, absolutely loving life.
David Healy:
"How is stumbling out of the gate by not qualifying and subsequently getting sacked going to help kick off my management career, Stephen? Are you setting me up to fail?
Stephen Hughes:
"Of course not mate. Look, I still say Bermuda is the ticket but I have more openings for you to consider. That said, there is heavy competition, especially for the top clubs.
David Healy:
"Okay, hit me.
Stephen Hughes:
"Domestically, Swansea are the top club in the Prem looking for a new manager right now. Then there is Blackpool in the Championship.

Internationally there is Olympique de Marseille in French League One, De Graafschap in the Dutch Jupiler League, and Colorado in American Major League Soccer.

If you want to get your feet wet at a smaller club, we have Finn Harps, Derry City, and Shelbourne in the Irish Premier League, Larne in the Northern Ireland Championship, Kirkwall in Scottish League Two, Shrewsbury in the English League One and Oxford United in League Two.
David Healy:
"Hmm, okay, let’s try for Swansea, Blackpool, and Marseille.
Stephen Hughes:
"Alright, I’ll get on the horn with them asap.
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
Which club do you think Healy should choose to manage?



Swansea? Blackpool? Marseille? Bermuda? Other?
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Jonaldinho's avatar Group Jonaldinho
10 years
Nice start, very creative! I'd say manage Blackpool, I haven't seen any careers with them here before.
1
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bebero's avatar Group bebero
10 years
Nice story man ! And good start !
1
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
Hardboiled Fan Mail Replies
2014-04-21 08:07#170874 Jonaldinho : Nice start, very creative! I'd say manage Blackpool, I haven't seen any careers with them here before.

Jonaldinho, thanks for the feedback. Never been a Blackpool supporter but perhaps I should be. They are definitely a talented and underrated side. They have loads of players that I'd love to manage including Barry Ferguson (legend), Stephen Dobbie, Kirk Broadfoot, Andrew Halliday, Jack Robinson, and Craig Cathcart. I will apply for them certainly. We'll see how it goes.

2014-04-21 08:15#170876 bebero : Nice story man ! And good start !

Thanks bebero! I appreciate the compliment.
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 years • Edited
The Dole - Season 1, Episode 5 - Part 1

INT. DUFFERIN ARMS INN - DAY
Another week passed waiting by the phone and, big surprise, my agent never called me back. It was Friday and I decided to try and catch him on the phone before the weekend.

[ring, ring… ring, ring]

Wendy:
"BSA Limited, this is Wendy speaking, how may I help you?"
David Healy:
"Is Stephen Hughes available please?"
Wendy:
"May I ask who is calling?"
David Healy:
"Yes, it’s David Healy."
Wendy:
"Please hold Mr. Healy."

[several minutes of muzak pass]

Stephen Hughes:
"‘Ello David, how are you mate? Sorry to keep you waiting. Well I have good news and I have bad news, which do you want first?”

"Well I have good news and I have bad news, which do you want first?"

David Healy:
"The bad news I suppose."
Stephen Hughes:
"Marseille passed. Something about they were looking for someone who was fluent in French and had a strong CV.”
David Healy:
"And the good news?"
Stephen Hughes:
"The good news is that Swansea and Blackpool haven't said no yet.”
David Healy:
"But they haven't said yes yet either?"
Stephen Hughes:
"Exactly. Look mate, I got to run. Date night with the Mrs. I'll call you as soon as I hear something. Ciao.”

Marseille Scratch that off my list. So, down to Swansea and Blackpool. I guess Marseille wasn't a great fit anyway so I'm not that disappointed. Here's hoping for Swansea in the Prem.

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Arvind's avatar Group Arvind
10 years
Really loving the dialogue boxes! It's something new and creative, and it helps you tell the story in a different way. It might take a little longer to write, but its worth it. So far the story has me hooked, please keep on writing!
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InvertedWingbacks's avatar Group InvertedWingbacks
10 years
This is really, really good! Keep up the awesome work mate; i'm hooked!
1
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Justice's avatar Group Justice
10 years
A very interesting style of story, I like it :)
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BartS's avatar Group BartS
10 years
Hey Arch!

I love the way you are telling the story of David Healy - it has a Charles Bukowski thing to it which I really like, great choice. I will definitely follow this story. Oh and what an a**hole of an agent with this Bermuda BS :P
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