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David Healy; Hardboiled [Northern Ireland LLM]

David Healy, a down and out retired Northern Ireland international star, must rekindle his passion for the game in his new role as an LLM Football Manager. [FM14]
Started on 16 April 2014 by Arch Mon
Latest Reply on 20 June 2014 by Josh_MU
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
David Healy; Hardboiled

Hardboiled Fan Mail Replies
2014-04-25 07:29#171735 Arvind : Really loving the dialogue boxes! It's something new and creative, and it helps you tell the story in a different way. It might take a little longer to write, but its worth it. So far the story has me hooked, please keep on writing!

Hey thanks Arvind. I'm glad you're into it. Love hearing that I have hooked a reader. It makes it all worth while. I will definitely see this story through. Thanks for the encouragement.

2014-04-25 08:21#171736 TodayAtTomorrow : This is really, really good! Keep up the awesome work mate; i'm hooked!

Thanks TodayAtTomorrow! That makes two hooked then. I appreciate the compliment.

2014-04-25 10:47#171776 Justice : A very interesting style of story, I like it :)

Thank you Justice! I didn't read a lot of the FM stories before I started as I am new to the boards so I think I just fell upon a style that I liked writing in, which is a pseudo screenplay format. Glad you like my first attempt.

2014-04-25 17:58#171859 BartS : Hey Arch!

I love the way you are telling the story of David Healy - it has a Charles Bukowski thing to it which I really like, great choice. I will definitely follow this story. Oh and what an a**hole of an agent with this Bermuda BS :P

Comparing Hardboiled to Bukowski is the biggest compliment of all! Thanks Bart. Hope you enjoy my story as much as I have been enjoying your Oxford City chronicles!

Thanks again to everyone who has offered an encouraging word so far. It helps motivate me to write the next episode. --Arch
Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
The Dole - Season 1, Episode 5 - Part 2

INT. DUFFERIN ARMS INN - DAY
The calendar has flipped to June and I am still without a club job. The situation is getting dire. I’ll be on the dole soon if things continue.

[ring ring, ring ring]

My phone is ringing. Thank God! It is ringing. Must be Hughes with some good news. Maybe Swansea or Blackpool want me to come in for an interview?

David Healy:
“Hello.”
Dee Heron:
"Davie, it’s Dee."
David Healy:
“Dee… uh, great to hear from you.”
Dee Heron:
“Are you free this afternoon to come down to the Clubhouse?”
David Healy:
“Actually, I’m waiting for a call. Not really a good time, Dee. [pauses and looks at the calendar] Ah, forget what I just said, I’ll be down there as soon as I get cleaned up and have some breckie.”
Dee Heron:
“Breakfast? It’s half noon!”
David Healy:
[looks at the clock] “So it is. I’ll be there soon as I can, Dee.”

INT. KILLYLEAGH FC CLUBHOUSE – DAY
Dee Heron:
“Frank, may I introduce Sir David Healy. David, this is Frank Gibson, Chairman of Killyleagh Football Club”
Frank Gibson:
"Mr. Healy, we meet at last. Please, have a seat and we will begin."
David Healy:
“Thanks, pleasure to meet you Mr. Gibson, but Dee still hasn’t explained what this meeting is about.”
Frank Gibson:
"As Dee may have mentioned, Killyleagh is expanding beyond its rich Youth and Intermediate Club tradition. We have pooled a tidy sum of money from many community donors, businesses and the like, and are ready to launch Killyleagh into professional football."

"...ready to launch Killyleagh into professional football."

David Healy:
”How much are we talking 1-million, 2-million pound?”
Frank Gibson:
"Well, not quite that much, no.
David Healy:
“How much then?”
Frank Gibson:
"We’ve raised almost 60K, but most of that money has already been invested in re-turfing the pitch and building a 1,200 seat grandstand."

[Healy looks out the window only to see the same old mucky pitch and no stands whatsoever]

David Healy:
“And now I suppose you are looking for me to invest the difference?”
Frank Gibson:
"Well no but… [pauses] Are you in a position to do that?"
David Healy:
“Dee, you should have warned Mr. Gibson here that I’m all dried up. If it is money you are after, you’ve got the wrong man.”
Frank Gibson:
"Not exactly. We aren’t after YOUR money, but we are seeking the right man to help us raise some capital investment, that much is true. That man would be you, if you were interested in coming on board as our new Manager?"
David Healy:
“New Manager? I wouldn’t want to push Dee out. He’s been Manager of Killyleagh for the last 30 years. Besides, like I told Dee, I have other irons on the fire.”
Dee Heron:
“Take the job for Christ sakes, Davie. Don’t worry yourself about me. Frank has offered me a position as Head of Youth Development, should you come on board. I would handle the youth intake and run the Youth Academy.”
Frank Gibson:
"I hate to disappoint you Mr. Healy, but your irons have run cold. Swansea are all set to hire Glenn Hoddle and Blackpool have selected Dave Jones. It will be announced next week.
David Healy:
“But… how could even know that? [under his breath] Hughes!”

[Healy appears to be having an anxiety attack. He is flushed and sweating profusely]

David Healy:
"Pardon me, I need to… step outside... I need some air. I need to make a call.”

Scumbag agent! :v
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
The Dole - Season 1, Episode 5 - Part 3

EXT. KILLYLEAGH FC CLUBHOUSE - DAY
[ring, ring… ring, ring]

Wendy:
"BSA Limited, this is Wendy speaking, how may I…"
David Healy:
[interrupting] "Get me Hughes!"
Wendy:
"May I ask who is calling?"
David Healy:
"Yes, someone who wants to speak to Stephen Hughes, now get him!"
Wendy:
"Please hold sir."

[several minutes of infuriating phone muzak passes]

Stephen Hughes:
"‘Ello David, how are you mate?…”
David Healy:
[interrupting] "Don’t ‘mate’ me, Stephen! First, you try to dispatch me to the Bermuda triangle! Then, you say you will get me an interview with a respectable club! Now, I find out all the ones I was interested have already hired their managers with not so much as a phone call from you!"
Stephen Hughes:
"David, David, calm down. You know I always have your best interest at heart. Who stood by you during the flute playing incident? Who stood by you when the Leeds press were slagging your wife? Who stood by you when Bury fans blamed you for their relegation? Me, that’s who! Now, nothing has been announced by neither Swansea nor Blackpool yet. Frankly, I don’t know where all this animosity is coming from, David?”

"Who stood by you during the flute playing incident?"

David Healy:
"Oh you have an answer for everything, don’t you Stephen? Such a smooth talker, can talk your way out of anything. Well not this time! Preseason is about to start while I am stuck here in purgatory watching my career slip through my fingers. I have just been informed that Swansea and Blackpool are ready to announce next week, and I haven’t even had an interview with a single club yet!"
Stephen Hughes:
"I don’t know what to say David, you’re being irrational. Look, I’m sorry things aren’t going well for you at the moment but it is only a temporary setback. I can get you an interview for Wednesday, I promise.
David Healy:
"That would be grand. Why didn’t you say so before? Is it with Swansea or is it with Blackpool?"
Stephen Hughes:
"With Larne.
David Healy:
"Larne? Larne! [silence]"
Stephen Hughes:
"David, are you still there? Do you want me to set up the interview or not?
David Healy:
"Answer me this, Stephen… Does your firm represent Glenn Hoddle or Dave Jones? Yes or No?"
Stephen Hughes:
"Well yes, but…”
David Healy:
"That's what I thought. Stephen, you’re fired."

Next Episode: The Tattooed Lady
Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
The Tattooed Lady - Season 1, Episode 6 - Part 1

EXT. KILLYLEAGH FC CLUBHOUSE – DAY

[Healy hangs up his mobile phone]

Woman’s Voice:
"David. David Healy. Is that really you?”
David Healy:
[looking down at his phone] “Sorry, not really in the mood for autographs at the moment.”
Emma Heron:
”It’s me, Emma Heron, you egotistical jerk! You know, your ex-girlfriend from highschool?”
David Healy:
“Emma. So sorry, I wasn’t looking when I… it’s been a bad day. My God, highschool. Has it really been 16 years? Time flies.”
Emma Heron:
”Not so much here in Killyleagh. 16 years seems like a lifetime.”
David Healy:
“Well you still look the same. Except, I don’t remember you having all those tattoos. They’re ah… very bold.”
Emma Heron:
”Thanks, they’re a passion of mine. You’ve gotten a bit chubby, haven't you? When we were dating I remember you were so scrawny. Not been training much lately?”

"You’ve gotten a bit chubby, haven't you?"

David Healy:
“Thanks for noticing. Yeah, I’ve been retired since April.”
Emma Heron:
”So, I’ve heard. You coming back to help my Dah and the club then?”
David Healy:
“Dee told you that did he?”
Emma Heron:
”Yes, it came up in last week’s staff meeting. I’m Club Treasurer now.”
David Healy:
“You? Doing the books? That’s rich.”
Emma Heron:
”Stop being an arse. So, David Healy, are you delivering us to the Promised Land or not? You know, this club means everything to my Dah. I think if we had to close our doors he might…”
David Healy:
“What do you mean, close your doors?”
Emma Heron:
”Didn’t you hear? We had a big fundraiser to save the club from bankruptcy. The whole town pitched in 60K. It was amazing! It’s enough to run the club, build a grandstand and redo the pitch so we will be eligible for Belfast Telegraph Championship 2 this season. Well, it’s enough to keep us running for one year anyway. Dah says if we win some cup money and boost attendance we might not have to close the club for good.”
David Healy:
“I’ll be right back, I need to speak to your dad about something.”

OH MY GOD. I feel like finding the missing Malaysian airplane! Too early :(? Perhaps, but either way, I'M ENJOYING THIS VERY MUCH!
1
Nice twist with the 60k - well played. I just hope that Stephan Hughes will remain part of this story. I could imagine some serious/funny tension between him and David!

Great story so far and nice form!
1
Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
The Tattooed Lady - Season 1, Episode 6 - Part 2

INT. KILLYLEAGH FC CLUBHOUSE – DAY

[Healy swings open the door wildly and crosses the threshold]

David Healy:
[with enthusiasm]“Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll be your gaffer under the following terms.
1- First, I will be paid for my services. This isn’t a charity and I have mouths to feed. £650 per week, non-negotiable.
2- Second, I get full backing from the board to bring in a first class professional squad. My objectives are to lead us to the premiere league and we aren’t going to be able to do that with part time amateurs.”
3- Third, I have full control of the hiring and firing of staff. That means Dee stays on as Head of Youth Development and helps us build for the future. Also, it means I get to bring in my own staff where there are any deficiencies.
4- Fourth, We play my way. If I’m the manager, I want the freedom to play the style of football that I want to play and that will win us championships.”

[Dee and Frank look at each other, somewhat stunned at Healy’s change of heart, then in unison turn to Healy]

Dee Heron and Frank Gibson:
[in unison]”Welcome to Killyleagh Football Club!”

"Welcome to Killyleagh Football Club!"

Frank Gibson:
”You start first thing tomorrow. 8AM sharp!”

Next Episode: The Reign
Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
Hardboiled Fan Mail Replies
2014-04-27 02:33#172088 Pauker : OH MY GOD. I feel like finding the missing Malaysian airplane! Too early :(? Perhaps, but either way, I'M ENJOYING THIS VERY MUCH!

Glad you are enjoying my story, hopefully it is more enjoyable than CNN's coverage of Flight MH370.

2014-04-26 15:15#171977 Arvind : Scumbag agent! :v

I'm not quite sure yet if he is a scumbag or just a douchebag.

2014-04-27 10:38#172108 BartS : Nice twist with the 60k - well played. I just hope that Stephan Hughes will remain part of this story. I could imagine some serious/funny tension between him and David!

Great story so far and nice form!

I suspect Stephen Hughes may make a future appearance but the only way you'll know for sure is to keep tuning in. :)

Thanks for reading everyone!
Cheers, --Arch
Fantastic update, looks like you're a better negotiator than your agent.. You should do that for a job! WE WANT UPDATES!
Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
The Reign of King David - Season 1, Episode 7 - Part 1

INT. KILLYLEAGH FC CLUBHOUSE - DAY
It rained all last night. The thunder and lightning normally doesn’t keep me up, it must be nerves. That's what the Lagavulin 16 is for - that and the fact that it's a damn fine Scotch. Smokey like a campfire on the beach. But why am I nervous? It’s ridiculous. I've played at the highest levels of the game. This is Killyleagh in the Belfast Telegraph Championship 2, Third tier of the Northern Ireland League, not Manchester United. Either way, I am tired and I accidentally slept in. Not a good way to start a new job.

Frank Gibson:
”Good morning David, nice of you to join us. May I call you David?”
David Healy:
[sheepishly nods yes] Sorry I'm late.
Frank Gibson:
”It is raining today, so I thought we would get you up to speed on the current state of the club. First, let’s start from the beginning. Every good manager should know his club's roots and history. As a former player of the club, you already have a leg up. However, Killyleagh Youth Football Club existed long before the Dee Heron era, which you are familiar with.”

Old Badge

Frank Gibson:
Killyleagh Football Club
"In the 1950’s and probably long before that as well, we had a lot of trouble in Killyleagh with kids, having nothing else to do, joining sectarian gangs, vandalizing property, and drinking and fighting in the streets. It’s a problem we still struggle with today only add drugs to the mix as well. We established Killyleagh Youth Club in 1960 as a way to bring Protestant and Catholic kids together in a positive environment, working together for a common goal, and realizing they had more in common than differences. This enlightened policy was well ahead of its time and would be used as a model for years to come all around the country as a ground up solution to the Troubles.

The Youth Club operates as an important nursery for young talent to this day. In addition to you, David, Killyleagh has turned out three other international players: Terry Cochrane, Hugh Henry Davey, and Trevor Carson. Also, it is unique in Northern Ireland in operating its own summer youth league for school children, which has been running for more than 50 years."

"We had a lot of trouble in Killyleagh with kids, having nothing else to do, joining sectarian gangs, vandalizing property, and drinking and fighting in the streets."


The Founders

The founding officials were: Sam McCullough (Chairman), Billy Ferris (Secretary), Jim Farson (Treasurer), Gerry Green, Barlow Matthews, Frank Houston and Rev J. C. Boggs (President).

http://s0.geograph.org.uk/geophotos/03/43/87/3438786_f71aabcd.jpg
The Showgrounds (on a good day... and yes, that is a real castle in the background)

Frank Gibson:
"The town donated The Showgrounds on the Comber Road for our home and Killyleagh Youth Football Club was born. Football has been played on the showgrounds since it was first opened in 1912. In fact football legend Hugh Henry Davey played on this very pitch in 1918-1920.

Killyleagh’s Youth Club played its first organised football match in the South Belfast Youth League in September 1960. After winning the South Belfast League title in its first season, the club progressed to the Amateur League where it has remained ever since. The Manager at the time, Andy Cranston, took it into the top flight in 1979, and it has remained there since. Cranston also led the club to its first two Steel and Sons Cup final appearances when they were beaten by Dundela and Ballyclare Comrades.

The big trophy breakthrough came in 1984/85 when Eric Halliday took over as Manager and led the club to an Amateur League and Border Cup double. Paul Kirk, Ronnie Cromie, Ian Russell and Hugh Ross all managed the club between 1986 and 1992 with appearances in the finals of the Steel and Sons Cup, Intermediate Cup and League runners-up positions to their credit.

When the Premier Section of the Amateur League was formed in 1992, Killyleagh was one of the founding clubs and had has been there ever since. During that time Killyleagh has established a number of records including Premier Section Champions for a record six successive years.

The appointment of former Killyleagh player Dee Heron as Manager heralded the club’s golden era. He won the Premier Section title in his first season in charge in 1992/93."

Dee Heron - Head of Youth Development/Former Manager

Frank Gibson:
"In 2000, the year in which the club celebrated the 40th anniversary of its founding, Heron’s side retained the Amateur League's Premier Section title and picked up the League's main knock-out competition, the Clarence Cup. This earned them a summer trip to Sweden to compete in the Carlsberg European Pub Cup. In his first 12 years in charge, Heron won 12 trophies including the Steel and Sons Cup at Christmas 2002.

But it is Killyleagh’s reputation as Davie vs. Goliath on the bigger stage that has made the club famous. Remarkably for six successive seasons Heron and his assistant Michael Murray led out a Killyleagh team against Irish League opposition in the sixth round. Heron took his team to Windsor Park for a sixth round game in February 2000 where they were only defeated 1-0 by Professional Premier side Linfield. I don't need to tell you that Linfield is the most successful club in Northern Ireland, so this was quite an accomplishment for an ameteur side despite the loss. Linfield fans generously applauded Killyleagh off the pitch. Twelve months later and they held Linfield's rivals and the 2nd most successful club in Northern Ireland, Glenavon, to a scoreline of 1-1. They shocked their hosts thanks to a Mark Holland goal in the first half before Gary Haylock earned his side a replay. There was no chance of a shock second time around as Glenavon coasted to a 4-0 victory. In 2002 Killyleagh made it to the semi-finals defeating Irish League sides Larne and Ballyclare on the way, before losing to Linfield. In 2003 they were defeated by Ards in the sixth round.

Indeed Killyleagh has a strong Irish Cup pedigree. The club has taken on Professional Premier sides in the Irish Cup on other occasions, with creditable performances against Ballymena United (lost 0-2) in 1985 and Crusaders (lost 1-2) in 1997. In the past the amateur side has claimed the scalps of Irish League sides Portadown, Bangor and Carrick Rangers in the Co Antrim Shield.”
David Healy:
“Hopefully we'll be able to build upon Killyleagh's success with some more cups and championships under my reign. Where do you see the club going from here?”

New Badge

Frank Gibson:
”Needless to say, we feel the time is right to take the club pro. We have already proven that we can compete at the top flight of Northern Ireland Football. Due to the financial difficulties of Chiminey Corner, they have decided to drop down to the Amateur Premier League. This has left an opening in the Belfast Championship 2. Despite a mediocre season last year, we were the only club to pony up to build the minimum required grandstands. Our historical Championships was enough to convince the League that we would be able to handle ourselves at the Senior level.

That being said, we do feel it will be nessassary to bring in additional players. Therefore, we have allocated you £2,000 to handle transfer fees. In addition, we have dramatically increased the per week wages to £6,400 in order to attract better talent on the free agency market.

The Senior (or Pro) side will now be simply known as Killyleagh Football Club, our reserves will play at the Intermediate level and will be known as Killyleagh II, and our Junior side will be made up of strictly U18's and will carry on the proud name Killyleagh Youth Club.
David Healy:
“The transfer budget and wages are quite a bit lower than what I am used to but I understand the financial restrictions the club is facing. We'll try our luck on the free agency market and see what is available. Also, we should try to set up some affiliations with bigger clubs so that we could benefit from loan deals.”

Very nice update, I've enjoyed reading it.. And about Jennings... I'll put it nicely.. HE SUCKS.
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Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
Hardboiled Fan Mail Replies
2014-04-30 05:03#172570 Pauker : Very nice update, I've enjoyed reading it.. And about Jennings... I'll put it nicely.. HE SUCKS.

Sigh, Jennings is really all we got at the moment. Such is the reality of Northern Ireland Lower Leagues. I'll probably just let his contract run out at the end of the season especially since that is a lot of money for part time. Not a whole lot available for scouts though at this level. If I could re-sign Heron as a scout next season that would be ideal as he has much high ability to spot potential (13). Edit: Moving staff to separate post for next update.

What do you think of the new badge? Is it a keeper or back to the drawing board?

Was: Now:
Arch Mon's avatar Group Arch Mon
10 yearsEdited
The Reign of King David - Season 1, Episode 7 - Part 2

Frank Gibson:
“Now, Dee will introduce you to the rest of the staff."
Dee Heron:
"David, I'd like to introduce Stephen Johnston, our Defense and Fitness Coach, Phil Jennings, our Scout, and Brian Strain, our Team Physio."

Stephen Johnston - Defense/Fitness Coach

Stephen Johnston is a Killylegh Coach/Player with a reputation for being a hard man. In addition to coaching Fitness and Defense, he plays Central Defender on the Killyleagh II Intermediate squad. Prior to coaching for Killyleagh, Stephen previously managed Shankill United in Belfast.

Philip Jennings - Scout

Phil Jennings is a former key Midfielder for Killyleagh and now performs scouting (part time) duties since hanging up the boots. For his day job, Phil works as a public servant in Belfast.

Brian Strain – Physio

He has been team physiotherapist at Killyleagh for the past 6 years and has also acted as team physiotherapist to the Northern Amateur Football League representative squad and is the current team Physio for the under 18 Northern Ireland squad. He has also worked for the IFA National squads at under 19 and under 23 levels. He was a professional footballer in the Irish League for 17 years playing for Glentoran, Portadown, Lisburn, Distillery and Bangor.

Johnston and the physio are ok but this Jennings guy is a disater. I'm not even talking about his skills but the wage! Sweet Jesus, who gave him that much and why? If I were you I would do the math and try to replace him. What year is it ingame?

I like the new logo - very up to date!
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