http://i58.tinypic.com/2qmosg0.jpg
The World is Yours...
http://www.holidayvillas4u.com/portugal%20pool3.jpg
I sit next to the bluest pool I've ever seen in my life. Beautiful, scantily-clad waitresses pace back and forth, rushing forward at the slightest raise of a hand to serve our needs.
This is the life, I think to myself. Then I remember this is Miguel Evangelista's house. Directly in front of me, the Varzim S.C. owner takes his seat.
http://blog.jinni.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/scarface.jpg
"
Eh CARAJO, this is my ****ing house. You better believe it," the young hotshot owner says. Sniffing a line before continuing, he nearly shouts, "
Look homie, I know we haven't been on the best of terms. But I really like the (sniff) work you're doing for me. So you know what I'm gonna do about it? I'll give you a ****ing raise man, because I like you!"
"Uh, thanks Miguel," I reply, unsure of what to say in front of my coked-up boss.
"
You don't have to thank me man, I'm your boss, I'm your bro, I'm your homie, eh," he rambles before suddenly stopping. "
Shit, must've been some bad coke man, I, I...I, feel..."
He passes out.
What. The. Hell. I thought this was supposed to be a meeting about club affairs, not some massive drug orgy!?!
Suddenly, the head of my dad, José Mourinho, pops out from around the corner of the beautiful yellow house. "
Daniel- my son! Tudo bem? I promised you I'd help you with with that cokehead owner of yours, so here you are," he grins, motioning to the now-deceased body of Miguel Evangelista with a sick sense of pride. "
A little bit of cyanide mixed into his daily shipment of cocaine. Easy peasy, huh," he winks, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Dad, this really wasn't necessary. I'd really prefer if you didn't kill owners that I dislike...it's, well it's sketchy!"
"
Sketchy," he booms reproachfully. "
Daniel, this man was holding you back from reaching new heights with Varzim! You are a man, now start acting like it and win promotion," he instructs, waving his hand as he retreats to the gate of the house.
On his way out, he calls over his shoulder, "
Hey- you better get promoted this year son. Or else I may have to find you a new job, outside of football...permanently."
Yikes.