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Tottenham Hotspur: Back To Basics

Started on 6 May 2014 by InvertedWingbacks
Latest Reply on 27 May 2014 by AdamFinchale
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explain all to us
All in good time dear chap

The Explanation

"Ok, Ossie, listen carefully. Those men told you they were your friends, told you you were safe, and told you they represented powerful people...only one of these is true, and it's the latter. We have taken you from an almost certain death.

Buy why me? I don't understand

I'm getting to that, but you have to be patient...These men wanted to use Tottenham Hotspur to trial illegal steroids in time for the World Cup and the Olympics in 2016; they would sell it to you as a new training supplement for your looks legal, on the face of it, but every single player would have failed a drugs test...and before you protest, they weren't all against it either.

Wait....I was abducted, dragged through backwaters and then brought here, all because someone wanted my boys to be guinea pigs?!

It's more serious than that. The men who took you now want you dead. You can't go back to White Hart Lane, it's too dan-

I don't give a damn how dangerous it is - i'm going back to lead my boys in the second half of the season - they need me and I need them! This copter will land me there, or close to there, and then you can tell me what you want from me, but i'm going back!

All we want, is you back in the driving seat at White Hart Lane...we'll watch over you, and monitor your safety: good luck Mr Ardilles
I'm Home. The sight that greeted me though, was appalling. The boys were standing around, yelling at each other, at each others' throats, all while Hugo and Sandro were caught in the middle, trying to calm everyone down.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOT PLAYING AT?! I was livid. These boys were winners last season, crushing almost all in their path


Trouble At White Hart Lane
It is being widely reported today that Belgian centre-back Jan Vertonghen is on his way out of White Hart Lane, after a training ground bustup with recently returned manager Ossie Ardilles. Vertonghen was reportedly furious at a lack of answers surrounding his managers 3 month absence between October and January, before his return at the start of the month, and allegedly called him a "spineless git", for apparently bailing on his side when things got tough.

Ardilles' response was unequivocal, transfer-listing the defender, who has scored 4 goals in 33 appearances for the club this season, and sending a clear warning to the rest of his side: Nobody is bigger than this club. I have apologised for being absent, and explained my reasons to the board and backroom, and also to Hugo and Sandro, my captain and vice-captain. Anybody who wishes to question this will be transfer listed, and a replacement brought in for them.

Young strikers Harry Kane and Alberto Cerri also find themselves being shipped out, but only on loan, as Brazillian wonderkid Tata has established himself, alongside Jese, as pushing for first-team football behind Adebayor and Soldado, while Brazilian CB Doria completes his long-awaited move from Botafago, joining Chiriches in the Tottenham defence, pushing Younes Kaboul for a starting spot.
Wow Jan... Get rid of him! No one is bigger than the club!
great twist

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