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Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Richard Hammond, of Top Gear, takes charge of Bolton.
Started on 1 August 2014 by squirmy420 / First Post
Latest Reply on 7 September 2014 by squirmy420 / Last Post
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squirmy420's avatar Group squirmy420
5 yearsEdited


Breaking news!


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Richard Hammond, of Top Gear, has been announced as the manager of Bolton Wanderers following the rather abrupt sacking of Dougie Freedman. When questioned about the subject Freedman appeared cagey and, in the eyes of this reporter, very unhappy. Offering little in the way of explanation, Freedman did say, “It’s come as rather a shock, being replaced by a telepresenter, especially a petrol head like Hammond, is not something any manager would like to go through.”

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Richard Hammond will appear later tonight to discuss his thoughts in a press conference at Reebok Stadium. More to come.

OMG I love Top Gear!!! Good luck squirmy
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squirmy420's avatar Group squirmy420
5 yearsEdited



Richard Hammond met the media today with his customary rye smile and leather jacket. Taking his seat at the front of the room he discussed his recent appointment as manager of Bolton Wanderers Football Club he seemed a man a light with inspiration.

“Not many would guess it, but I’ve always been a fan of football. And to see a club with a History like Boltons struggling as it is… It makes my heart sick. I wish to make Bolton Wanderers strong again. We will be Premier League bound. And after that, well… in Top Gear… we like to say, end on a bombshell so…. why not Europe?”

Afterward he took a series of questions.

Reporter 1: “Mr Hammond, why Bolton?”

Hammond: “I am a Wanderer at heart. I do a lot of roaming, and through that feeling I have always been a Wanderer. I’ve think I’ve finally Wandered home, if you know what I mean?”

Reporter 2: “Rumors are the Chong Young Lee is a transfer target for a lot of clubs, are you confident of keeping him at the club?”

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Chong Yong Lee, playing for Wanderers.

Hammond: “I’m completely confident that Lee is in the right place to both help this club achieve and help himself achieve something this season. I will do everything I can to keep him here, as I’m sure would any fan.”

Reporter 1: “Tony Mowbray has recently been in the media suggesting that there might be some business between you and his club Middlesbrough for Lukas Jutkiewicz, would you care to elaborate?”

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Jutkiewicz playing for Middlesbrough

Hammond: “Of course we are interested, clubs need goals and Lukas is a player who can score them. I’ve come to a club with a number of great players, and a quite a few out on loan, so I will be making some calls in the next few days to a number of people.”

Generally, Richard Hammond seemed at ease, and in fact well informed through the duration of the press conference, which came as a surprise by many considering the episode of Top Gear where he admitted to knowing nothing about football and having little to no interest in the sport.

Wanderers fans are opening questioning his appointment and hoping it doesn’t start with an awful half of the season before he gets the sack. Some, however, may find highlights in his performance today as he seemed like a man on top of his form.
Good luck with the Wanderers! :)
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@Zemdegs Me too! I was watching Top Gear: Top Fails and came up with the idea.

@TheMadridista Thanks! I'm being ambitious, but I think I have a good chance.
great start, Hammond certainly has big plans
A very good start mate!Good luck!

Richard Hammond has made his first foray into the transfer market in recent days, adding two players to his Wanderers side. Firstly, Will Keane, has joined the side on loan from Premier League giants, Manchester United, paying 1.5k pounds a week of his salary.

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Keane responded by saying “I’m happy to come to a side like Bolton and play at the Reebok stadium. It’s not old Trafford, but it is first team football.” At just 20 years old, the Stockport born lad, could use about all the first team action he can. It’s yet another step in the right direction in the eyes of many Trotter loyals.

The second signing was revealed to the press earlier today, one Franco Zuculini, an Argentinian international, and also a fairly young signing at only 22 years of age. Hammond managed to pick up Zuculini on a free transfer after his contract ran out with Real Zaragoza. Putting pen to paper on an agreed 12.5k pounds a week, Franco was not shy with his words, “To play for Bolton, a team with such a long history is a dream. Richard Hammond has assured me that we will be pushing for promotion as soon as possible, and I think this is a great step in the right direction for both the manager, and the club.” Zuculini joins an already very strong midfield for the Wanderers, giving the lads some competition, and maybe allowing some more maneuvering in the transfer market.

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When asked about his recent transfer business, Hammond decline comment as he was getting into his Morgan 3 wheeler saying, “There’s a lot more business to be done, and not enough time before the season in which to do it.”
Good start! Good Luck!
After completing a successful pre season campaign of 3 games with Bolton Wanderers FC Richard Hammond kicked off his professional career in football management against Burnely in a heated rivalry away game.

The pre season having consisted of 3 wins in a row, once vs Northern Irish feeder team Ballinamallard Utd in a 5-0 drubbing, a second against Ards, another Northern Irish team, and finally a 1-0 vs Inverness CT, not one a home game.

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Taking the momentum into the Burnley game was the hope for Richard Hammonds Trotters, and while they didn’t maintain the best possession, they did fight for everything at Turf Moor and the first half ended 0-0 and was remarkable for the number of fouls committed by both teams.

The second half started much more lively for Bolton Wanderers, as they started straight from the kickoff into applying pressure on the Burnley back line. Ten minutes into the half, Andre Moritz won the ball deep in the Burnley defensive half, and immediately launched a wonderful through ball to Chong Young Lee who finished with a lovely one touch shot past the sprawling Tom Heaton.

Hammond used the break to introduce the first sub to the game in the form of Franco Zuculini, his recent acquisition. Burnley began to play with a desperation, as losing in front of the home fans on opening day vs a rival isn’t an ideal opener. However, Wanderers would not be out done. With Chong Young Lee again finding space on the right wing to play a lovely low cross in for Zuculini to tap home with aplomb in the 85th minute. The traveling Trotters fans were undoubtedly pleased to both see they’re new lad in action, and to see him score on his debut.

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When asked afterwards about the game Hammond had this to say, “We played well out there today. We were lackluster in the first half, but in the second half we found… Top Gear… and managed to score 2 great goals. Chongy was great for us today. And it was a great match for us to build for the season off of. I don’t envy Sean Dyche and the job he has ahead of him in the next few weeks… But we’re off and flying, and the lads have earned a rest day.”

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Chong Young Lee was awarded the man of the match award, he was dominate on Bolton’s right wing and often found himself in a lot of space to makes things happen for his club.

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great preseason, hopefully the good form continues into the season

WIll keane is a good signing too and should bring you quality due to being a part of the Manchester United setup

ill be following
squirmy420's avatar Group squirmy420
5 yearsEdited

August 2013 Review


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Having traveled to Burnley in their opening game of the season and grabbing the 3 points the Wanderers got to play in the Reebok stadium for their next match. A Capital One Cup match-up vs Sky Bet League Two strugglers Chesterfield.

Bolton dominated the say but could not find their way past Aaron Chapman the man in the gloves for Chesterfield until the first half of extra time as their fitness levels proved to be the decider.

In the 102nd minute of the game Robb Hall got onto the end of a lovely pass by Jermaine Beckford inside the oppositions 18 yard box and hit a lovely one-touch volley past the helpless Chapman who had done so well to deny the Trotters up til then.

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Robb Hall lets the ball drop before unleashing a ferocious volley into the Chesterfield net.

Five minutes later, early in the second half of extra time, Darren Pratley found himself on the end of rebounding ball inside the box and kept his head to tuck home in a crowd of players to seal the game for the Wanderers to the roar of the home crowd.

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Darren Pratley wheels away in jubilation after tucking in the 2nd late goal for Bolton.

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Bolton stayed in home for their next game, their first home league game of the season vs recent EPL wash-outs Reading. Despite Reading controlling the ball throughout the game, Adam Bogdan and the back-line for the Trotters came up big. Allowing Lee Chung Young’s powerful effort in the 26th minute to stand as the match winner.

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Lee Chung Young races towards the Bolton home fans after smashing home a wonderful ball by Alex Baptiste.

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Wanderers took their game to Nottingham Forest where they showed their ability to pass the ball about the pitch and retain possession, as well as get forward and create chances. Forcing Dorous De Vries to save 2 clear cut chances before David Ngog managed to slide one low and hard past the sprawling Dutch keeper to win the game for Bolton in the 50th minute. Having been the first striker to score for Bolton, Hammond was undoubtedly pleased with the effort.

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David Ngog finishes a lovely team move by scoring into the low corner past in form De Vries.

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Trotters hosted QPR next in what, most assumed would be a hard fought battle against the recently relegated side. Things did not start well for QPR, however, as Andre Moritz put the moves to 30 year old defensive midfielder Karl Henry only to be chopped down from behind with referee Andy D’Urso standing close by to judge the affair. Henry was given a straight red card in the 26th minute of play, and from then on the Trotters didn’t look back.

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With ref D’Urso standing only yards away, Henry commits a silly lunge on attacking midfielder Andre Moritz.

Playing with 10 men, and obviously on the back foot, QPR had a tough time of things for the remainder of the game. However, Julio Cesar was looking a brick wall in the sticks and it wasn’t until the 62nd minute of the game after a series of bad clearances and a double save by Cesar ended with David Ngog tapping it over the line in a crowd of green shirts.

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Ngog runs out of the crowd of players in sheer joy after tapping home the opener and his first of the game.

Ngog again was the player to make things happen for the Wanderers in the 77th minute when he rose, towering over the defense to put a powerful header to a Lee Chung Young cross and smash it against the far post and into the net past Cesar.

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David Ngog rises tall and smashes home his 2nd goal of the night.

The game looked set to finish out a 2-0 but in the 82nd minute a deep attack free kick saw Chris Eagles loft a lovely ball into the box and onto the feet of Franco Zuculini only for Danny Simpson to come clattering through him for the ball and giving away a late penalty kick to the Wanderers. David Ngog stepped up to secure a hat-trick, and kept his calm to do so.

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Ngog runs towards the Bolton fans, all smiles, after completing his hat-trick.

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Wanderers fans traveled to Reebok Stadium for the next fixture, a capital one cup clash between Bolton and Sky Bet Championship league mates Ipswich Town. And there was a prevailing sense of Trotters win which resounded through the grounds.

Within 2 minutes the Trotters found the lead through a wonderful left foot ripper from outside the box by Andre Moritz for his first goal of the season.

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Moritz shot from outside the box beats the keepers glove to the top corner.

Bolton found the net again before the 10th minute when Chris Eagles hit a lovely right side foot half volley past the diving keeper and into the side netting for his first goal of the season.

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Chris Eagles shows great technique to hit the ball on the half volley and into the goal.

Things got decidedly better for the traveling fans of Ipswich in the 19th minute when David McGoldrick seized on David Wheater’s mistake to score the first goal for Ipswich and force Adam Bogdan to feel the sting of conceding for the first time this season with a great long range effort.

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McGoldrick scores a long range effort in the 19th minute.

Not to be outdone the Wanderers pressed the attack once again, allowing Chris Eagles to score a tap in, into the open net, off a rebounding Lee Chung Young header.

Sitting at 3-1, and with a free kick towards the center of the pitch, Ipswich played a lovely ball in which beat everyone but Marcus Olsson to the near post allowing him to score his first goal of the season with another easy tap in in the 45th minute.

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Marcus Olsson scores an easy tap to put the game back in contest.

With both teams looking to score in the second half the game began to wind down. Tired legs, and an exciting first half lead to Ipswich playing a little more offensively and the Wanderers looked to exploit them on the counter for the remainder of the game. However, in the 55th minute Aaron Cresswell was judge to bring down Boltons Lee Chung Young in the box and Chris Eagles stepped up to score the resulting penalty and earn his hat-trick and seal the win for the Trotters.

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Eagles completes his hat-trick for Bolton with a top-shelf penalty.

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The final match of the month saw Bolton travel to local rivals Blackburn in what would undoubtedly be a heated match. Bolton got things off to a start early on with Lee Chung Young managing to steer the ball home from a tight angle past the keeper and into the side netting in the 8th minute of the game.

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Lee Chung Young scores from a tigh angle early on.

Not too far later, Lee Chung Young made a wonderful dribbling run, scything through the heart of midfield and towards the goal only for Dickson Ethuhu to come flying in with both feet in a violent challenge. The ref awarded him a redcard for his efforts and sent him back to the showers.

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Dickson Ethuhu already making his way for the touchline after a rash tackle.

Darren Pratley was brought off injured in the 37th minute, but he didn’t look to worse for the wear. Bolton didn’t make the extra man count for them until early in the second half when Lee Chung Young again found himself with the time and space to slot another goal home for the 4th goal of his season.

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Lee Chung Young celebrates another man of the match performance with a lovely brace.

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With a wonderful first month under his belt Richard Hammond will undoubtedly be looking to keep the wonderful run with Bolton going. They’ve played well, and he’s had them firing on all cylinders. Keeping a month of clean sheets in league play, as well climbing the table into first in the opening weeks. Many fans of the Trotters and in awe, having never expected the Top Gear presenter to make much of an impact, but now are hoping for his run to continue into the next month.

Player of the Month

Lee Chung Young

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With 4 goals and 4 assists in his first 6 appearances this year, Lee Chung Young has definitely impressed so far. Not only earning our player of the month but also landing 2nd in Sky Bet Championship player of the month rankings. Richard Hammond will try and keep the fires lit under his Korean star and inspire him to greater achievements this season as well as try and hold onto one of his better players who is a transfer target for a number of tops clubs world wide.

With the wonderful month done, Richard Hammond was awarded manager of the month in his first ever in charge of a club, a wonderful award for a great newcomer to the scene.

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League Standings:

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Next months fixtures:

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Great first month, well done with all the detail and the wins! Hopefully your graphics work soon :P
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Fixed my graphics thanks to the help of Neal . I owe him a cookie or something epic. Anyways, I think this miiiight be what to expect from now onwards.
What a great start to Hamster's career! Brilliant results mate, i'm hoping Clarkson makes an appearance at some point! :P

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