Ignore this post now, I'm starting a new story with Schalke. I just don't think winning the league every year then faltering in Europe is going to be fun. Sorry Guys.

Hahah poor Zlatan! I can see where this is going good luck!

Ibrahimovic spotted in Amsterdam

In what can be only described as a strange turn of events Zlatan Ibrahimovic has emerged as an unlikely favourite to become the new Ajax boss.

After Frank De Boer’s dismissal last week there has been much speculation as to who would take the helm of the most successful club in Holland. Managers with reputations which would make them hot property have been touted to take the job.

But Sky Sports can exclusively reveal today that the Big Swede was spotted watching an u16s friendly at De Toekomst this morning. An unlikely fixture for a man of such importance and with seemingly more important things going on in his life to be attending.

Much to the deleight of one football lover from Japan, Yoto Zakamuri a 37 year old Sony employee put 600,000 Yen and his wife on Zlatan becoming the Ajax manager when the odds were at 64,000/1. We are deleighted to annouce Yoto is our new Sky Sports Source as he seems to always have insider knowledge.

Ok, I'm off to watch the Liverpool match now so I'll update at crazy o'clock in the morning or tomorrow. Most likely the former however.

The Ajax Chairman has made a personal appearance to reveal the new manager of the Dutch Giants, we’ll now cross over to our journalist on the ground. Follow for live text updates.

Wijers: Good Morning everyone, as everyone has heard by now, Ajax Amsterdam have been searching day and night for the right man. A man who can reinvigorate a club whose glory days are behind them. A club with rich history which has sadly fallen away in recent years due to troubles financially and some may say a lack of leadership. A club which deserves to be there up amongst Europe’s elite. Frank was a great coach for us. He won us 3 consecutive league titles after a long wait for the fans during a troublesome half decade. But as you all know due to personal issues we have had to terminate him from his post at the club.

I don’t want to ramble any longer let me tell you about who we have chosen. He is charismatic, he will bring great joy to those who watch the game, we feel he can make Ajax the ‘sexy’ club it once was again. He can make those red and white shirts the epitome of cool they once were. He can rejuvenate this great club back to it’s rightful stature as a European Powerhouse.

With the utmost pleasure I would like to formally announce Zlatan Ibrahimović as the new boss here in Amsterdam. I would like to open this up the floor and will happily ask any questions.

Journalist 1: Interesting Choice Hans, what makes you think Mr. Ibrahimović has what it takes to be a manager? He hasn’t any coaching qualifications or experience.

Wijers: We feel Zlatan has a lot to offer as a coach. He is widely experienced having played under many world class managers including Jose Mourinho at Inter Milan and Pep Guardiola at Barcelona albeit a disastrous relationship, we have spoken to Zlatan about it and he said that he came out of his time there a stronger person.

Journalist 2: Do you not think Zlatan’s confrontational and mischievous personality is a sign that he may not be able to be taken seriously, that he may not be the leader you perceive him to be?

Wijers: This is a major factor we based our decision on. Zlatan is loved by all football fans around the world. We want to create an image similar to that at Ajax, we want to be the good guy of world football. We agree, Zlatan is an outrageous individual at times, but isn’t that why he is loved? What most people don’t know is that he can turn it on and off like a switch. He is a very focused and determined individual. You don’t have a career like he did without an element of professionalism.

Wijers: I’m sorry to abruptly end this, I will take questions at a later date but I have just been informed by my Personal Assitant one of my windmills has caught fire and I don’t want my clog collection to go down in flames. I’ve got to run. See you all later.

I am going to make it my personal mission to keep count of how many times the word Zlatan is said in this thread. The counter currently sits at 11.

2014-08-05 11:00#188262 Griffo : I am going to make it my personal mission to keep count of how many times the word Zlatan is said in this thread. The counter currently sits at 11.

I'm holding you to that.

Ah, Amsterdam. A city I hated when I first came here, the new John Carew I was touted. In hindsight, that was beyond insulting to someone of my calibre. However, I’ll let the media off, hindsight is a beautiful thing. I arrived from Malmö in my late teens for a record fee of €8.7m, an amount of money I couldn’t comprehend at the time. Growing up as a bike thief, family problems galore and always being told I needed to pass the ball more as a kid. Seriously? What did the other kids parents know that I didn’t. All I knew is that I scored a lot of goals and was the best player to come out of Sweden in decades. I was arrogant, ignorant and worst of all, I was naive. I came to Ajax thinking life would be easy for me now I was a superstar. Safe to say, I wasn’t. At least for the first 6 months.

Well, how times change. This time around it’s quite the opposite, I’m nervous and I don’t know how this is going to go down to be quite frank. The media think I’m going to be a high flyer, for once I am doubting myself, I don’t know if I’m up to the challenge. Sure I’ll be my usual cocky self with the media, that’s how I do things. But deep down I know this challenge could be make or break for the rest of my managerial career. I sure to hell don’t want to be end up managing in the second division in Bosnia any time soon.

My first press conference is in a few hours, I have a few things to say to bring out a laugh or two, Mr. Wijers says he wants to make Ajax “cool” again, and appointing me was the first step. Firstly, I’m keeping it to myself but what does a 62 year old ex-Minster of Economic Affairs know about making anything sexy, let alone a football club. Secondly, despite what I just said, I think I can do it. Maybe tatical knowledge and man management might need some work and it’ll certainly be a learning curve but one thing I can do is bring some life and zest back to Amsterdam. I’m surrounded by some of the best staff in the game, I trust I will learn heaps from them and maybe bring in several of my own idea’s to put a Zlatan-twist on Total Football.

Live text updates of the first press conference held by the new Ajax man.

Ibrahimović: Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman, if any of you don’t know me I am Zlatan Ibrahimović former Ajax player and Swedish international. I’m deleighted to have been hired by Mr. Wijers and the Ajax board to take the helm of such a big club with a history which precedes itself.

Journalist: Welcome back to Amsterdam, I’d like to warmly welcome you back to Holland and we hope you stay isn’t short lived.

Ibrahimović: I should hope so.

Journalist: Do you believe you have what it takes to restore the glory the club enjoyed during the early 90s?

Ibrahimović: Of course I do. I wouldn’t have taken the job otherwise. It would have been easy for me to have retired and hidden away for the rest of my life. But I’m still only 31, I have a good 30/40 years left of my life story to write and I can’t think of a better way to start the new chapter at a club I first made my name at.

Journalist: Do you fear that because you have no experience as a manager you may be out of your depth being thrown into the Champions league from the start?

Ibrahimović: Have you ever known me to doubt myself? When I went for that scissor kick against England, I knew I would score, I was planning my celebration before I even left the ground. I have every confidence in my ability to take on this challenge. To paraphrase what I said 12 years ago. Whatever Jose Mourinho can do with a football team, I can do with a herd of sheep.

*giggles around the room*

Journalist: What philosophies would you like to impose upon the club Zlatan?

Ibrahimović: I am very much a fan of the Total Football style, I have a few idea’s about how to tweak it to make us a little less predictable. I want to play with a tall striker, someone who is physical but technical which allows us a certain degree of freedom I think the Ajax style lacks. I would sign myself if possible but that Ugandan child put an end to that didn’t he? Obviously I want to bring in youth players, that is one of my main goals. I want to develop players and make De Toekomst better than La Masia. I’m not afraid to sign players in their mid 20s but I’d prefer to bring in players under 21 and develop them to play the Ajax brand. But if a player already fits the mold I’m not going to hold off.

Journalist: Can you share any transfer news with us?

Ibrahimović: You know, I can’t tell you too much, I still need to assess the squad, see where our best youngsters play so I don’t hinder their development. I think we need another center midfielder and a few forwards. I won’t be drastically changing the starting XI but a few new faces won’t hurt. If we are looking to win the league, the cup and go far in Europe then we are going to need a certain amount of squad depth.

Journalist: Thank you for answering our questions, we’ll let you get on with your job now.

Ibrahimović: Thank you, it’s my pleasure to interact with you guys and the fans. Expect to see a lot of me.

Nicolaj Thomsen: The first of two signings made by the new Ajax boss from AaB in the Danish Superliga. The 20 year old Dane is a dynamic center midfielder with potential to be a top European player. He’s renown throughout Denmark for his exception footballing brain, his work rate and his quite brilliant first touch. With the coaches at Ajax’s disposal they can polish Thomsen into the star he could so easily become. He has arrived in Ajax for €2.1m on a 4 year deal worth €7.25k a week.


Michy Batshuayi: The Belgian u21 international, can follow in the footsteps of Romelu Lukaku and Christian Benteke as the next up and coming Belgium striker. Standing at 6 feet and weighing an impressive 85 kg, he should be the physical presence Zlatan Ibrahimović was mentioned to be wanting, arriving from Standard Liege this week Batshuayi may be the missing link to a side that has struggled with strikers for several years since Luis Suarez's depature in 2011. The big Belgian is a pacey customer with impressive finishing abilty for someone so young. But he is far from the poacher we have so far made him out to be. The €8m man, who had his buyout clause met by the Dutch giants, excels technically which is what first attracted Ajax scouts, who crave young, technical players that they can snap up while they are still developing.


Kasper Kusk: The second signing from Danish league side AaB. The baby faced Dane is the oldest of the trio of signings still at a tender 21 however. The right winger was made for a team like Ajax, he will be the player who creates something out of nothing. The left footed winger is exceptionally talented at picking out team mates, similar to Andres Iniesta of Barcelona. He’s a player Ajax are deleighted to have picked up for such a low fee of just €625k which matched the Denmark international’s buyout fee.

Ibra is awesome great choice and Batshuayi will do great for you I have had good experiences with him

2014-08-05 17:53#188336 the champi0n fm : Ibra is awesome great choice and Batshuayi will do great for you I have had good experiences with him

I've just read his autobiography so I thought I'd go for some crazy idea to get him back to Ajax.

I've never used him! He looks brilliant, with a very cheap buyout clause too. Hopefully he'll blossom in the Eredivisie.

Zlatan’s return, one match, one trophy, one new club idol.

Ajax were the winners in the Supercup yesterday evening as they ran out 3-0 victors against AZ. New boy at De Godenzonen, Batshuayi, netted a stunning hattrick to take home the plaudits on his debut for the club. The 20 year old arrived from Standard Liege last month for €8m and is already looking like a steal for the 3 times Champions League winners.

Ajax dominated a match which presented very few chances with only 6 shots on target, 4 going Ajax’s way. After 38 minutes another new signing at Ajax, Kasper Kusk bent in a delicous free kick from 40 yards deep. Batshuayi showed great movement and determination to throw himself at the ball at the back post and rifled a header beyond the hapless Esteban in the AZ goal. With a 1-0 lead going into half time Ajax looked the more comfortable team and had settled nicely into the game.

After the restart the game was turned on it’s head as AZ took the game to the Amsterdam based club. Johansson, the American striker, showed great pace to burst past Joel Veltman and gave Vermeer something to worry about as he struck a powerful shot, the Dutch international however matched the strike with a stunning save tipping the ball onto the post. This domination from AZ was short lived as Kusk broker free of his marker on the right wing, drove towards the byline and delivered a peach of a cross to the front post. Batshuayi met the ball at pace and cannoned a header into the top corner. AZ looked broken.

The wind was well and truely taken from their sails. The game was settled when a dubious handball decision was given in Ajax’s favour within the AZ box. None other than the debut hero Batshuayi confidently picked up the ball and placed it on the spot. He never looked like missing, and nor did he. He stepped up cool as you like and swept the ball into the bottom left hand corner. 3-0. Game over. The question on the lips of football fans throughout Holland, is Batshuayi a one hit wonder or can he carry his scintillating form into the Eredivisie which kicks off next week?

Ajax have signed Spanish left back Loris Benito from FC Zurich on a 3 year deal. The fee is said to be in the €1.4m range. The 21 year old said he is deleighted to have made the step up to the Eredivisie and is looking forward to challenging to get into the knockout rounds of the ever enthralling Champions League. With Ajax only have one first team left back in Boilesen, Benito will act as cover but with a rigorous campaign ahead of them it is likely he will start a fair amount of games.

In other news the new boss at Ajax, Zlatan, has terminated the loan signing of Bojan as he would prefer to promote youngsters rather than use a quick fix in the wantaway Barcelona striker.