My Football Manager Adventure SNAFU

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Liverpool are yet to name a new manager to succeed Brendan Rodgers, but it has already been an eventful summer with many changes to the Reds' playing personnel.

Steven Gerrard, considered by many to be the best player to ever don the club's red jersey, has finally ended his 28-year long association with Liverpool this summer, choosing to leave on a free transfer after the expiry of his contract.

In his prime, he established himself as one of the best midfielders in world football. Now 35, Gerrard has found opportunities in the first team harder to come by, and is set to spend the remainder of his professional career in the United States with LA Galaxy.

Racking up 504 appearances in the Premier League for Liverpool and serving as captain for 12 years, it will be no easy feat to find another player like him.

Apart from the man affectionately known as Stevie G, many other departures have taken place. Among the expected sales of unneeded players like Iago Aspas, Fabio Borini and Sebastian Coates, one transfer is especially significant for the Liverpool fans.


It is no secret that wantaway winger Raheem Sterling has been angling for a move to a better side and he finally got his wish after Manchester City came in with a £44 million bid.

The youngster had proved himself to be an important member of the first team and would have been instrumental in Liverpool's relentless quest for a Champions League finish this season.

Furthermore, the acrimonious manner of his Merseyside desertion has certainly not gone down well with the fans. Formerly viewed as a hero, Sterling is swiftly transforming himself into the Kop's latest villain and can expect a passionate reception the next time he returns to Anfield.

With a total of £55 million gained from transfers out, what about the transfers in? The absence of a manager has not deterred the club and the infamous transfer committee have worked to bring in no less than 7 players for a combined fee of £67 million.

Liverpool's frequent activity in the transfer market has naturally caused excitement among the club's supporters. In a negative viewpoint, however, the potential risk of a new boss having to work with a summer signing he did not want is growing with each new purchase the club makes on its own.

James Milner, Adam Bogdan and Danny Ings were brought in on free transfers, although the latter is subject to a tribunal fee that is yet to be determined.

Milner, a reliable midfielder who has played in over 300 Premier League games for the likes of Aston Villa and Manchester City, is expected to partner Jordan Henderson in the center of the pitch. Bogdan was brought in from Bolton Wanderers to replace Brad Jones, and Ings could turn out to be a prolific signing having scored 11 goals in his debut season in the top flight with Burnley.

At the back, 18-year-old Joe Gomez comes in from Charlton for £3.5 million and £12 million is also splurged on Southampton right-back Nathaniel Clyne, who will slot straight into the first team following the expiry of Glen Johnson's contract and the long-term injury of Jon Flanagan.


The two big money signings, Roberto Firmino and Christian Benteke, will come at the cost of £28 million and £32 million respectively.

Firmino has been slowly but surely gaining prominence after exceptional performances in the Bundesliga with Hoffenheim and the offensive-minded midfielder could add an extra dimension to Liverpool's attack. The man that will hopefully deliver the goals is Benteke, who managed to score 42 goals in 89 games for former side Villa.

As the most expensive summer signing so far, and with Daniel Sturridge stuck on the sidelines with an injury layoff, there will definitely be an added weight of expectation on Benteke to bang the goals in.

Regardless, Liverpool's transfer business is looking solid, although it is hard to envision their manager-to-be getting any funds for his own targets after the amount of money that has already been spent.

And that brings us back to the Reds' most pressing issue this summer. Two primary targets, Jurgen Klopp and Carlo Ancelotti, have turned down the chance to manage at Anfield and there appear to be very little candidates left in the pool.

With the majority of transfers for the club looking to be done and dusted, Liverpool owners Fenway Sports Group now have to focus their efforts on finding the right man to take over.

Job interviews.

I didn't like them, not at all. They seemed to be nothing to me but pointless wastes of time. There is no way to know if your prospective employee is being truthful in his answers or not. He could be lying straight to your face, telling you only the things you want to hear. Basically, an interview is a terrible way to judge a person's character.

"What made you want to take this job?"

"That's an easy one. I love football and I'm very keen on starting a career in management. I believe Liverpool is the perfect place to start as I feel that what this club needs is a young and hungry manager."

See what I mean?

At the other end of the table, my bosses-to-be, two American men, appeared to be suitably impressed with my answer, despite the fact that my previous two sentences held not a single shred of truth in them.

They also looked fairly surprised at my command of English. I silently thanked my past self for his diligence in the subject throughout the years of education.

"Your agent has very kindly sent me an e-mail of your CV..."

Agent? I have an agent? No, I don't have an agent. The e-mail must have been from Haruno.

"... and it says here that you have coached the Japanese national team as well as various top clubs in the J-League. What's more, there are rave reviews from players and fellow coaching staff regarding your training methods and approach to the game."

Wait a minute, that's forgery. Forgery is illegal.

"Yes, that's my CV."

Ha, no it isn't.

"It's a very good CV and all, but that being said, you have no prior experience as a manager. It also states here that you're just 22 years old? Of course, we have nothing against young coaches and managers. However, there is the slight possibility of you being unable to command respect in the dressing room. Can you tell us more about your plans to combat these shortcomings?"

Damn, what a question. Nice try, but I'm not going to be caught off guard. All I have to do is follow the script that Hayama pre-planned this morning.

"I can't prove anything about my inexperience and age. All I can assure you with is this. If I'm given the job, I will not fail to meet your standards. Allow my ability to speak for itself."

What a lame answer - I wasn't answering the question at all, but Hayama had insisted that this would earn me points.

I studied the faces of the two Americans carefully and discovered from their positive expressions that Hayama wasn't wrong. One of them was even nodding his head admirably.

"Tell us more about your footballing philosophies. What is the style of football you want a team of yours to play?"

Oops. Hayama didn't run me through this one. I considered the question, wondering what kind of answer would satisfy my possible employers.

"Style is something I do not have. The only thing I'm looking for is results. My teams will do anything to win, and by that I do mean anything."

This much was true. I didn't really care about the way I did things, as long as the end product satisfied me.

One of the two men frowned, and the other shifted uncomfortably before adjusting his glasses. Did I say something wrong? I swallowed, clenching the fists I kept under the table. Landing this job would secure my ideal life, where I wouldn't need to fret over a decreasing bank account everyday. I didn't want to go back to the drawing board.

"Possession football was something that Brendan valued during his time here. He's gone now, but if possible we would like the mentality of possession to stay."

I blinked. Brendan? Who?

"Football like that really entertains the fans and that's our main aim, to make sure the fans are entertained and happy to support the club."

It all felt very stupid to me. Wasn't the main aim of a football club to win games?

I didn't voice my concerns out loud, for obvious reasons. Instead, I struggled to find a response that would placate the people I was conversing with, while at the same time attempting to avoid the mistake of looking too much like a yes man.

"I would be happy for the team to play football like that if it means getting a win in the process," I said lamely, trying my absolute best.

The interviewers briefly exchanged looks. The one with the glasses turned to me and looked straight into my eye.

"Alright, Hachiman, here's the thing. We talk a lot about Liverpool being a big football club. I'm sure even in Japan, many people know who we are. They talk about us, they follow us."

Yeah, right. I've never even heard of you guys until yesterday.

"That's why, under normal circumstances, we would never consider the application of someone without any experience as a manager beforehand. Appointing such a person as the manager of Liverpool Football Club is a risky move, not something any chairman or owner would take."

What? Was all this really for nothing? Why did you even agree to having this interview then?

"Unfortunately," he continued. "There aren't many applicants at all. Our initial targets turned us down and no one else is available to take the job. We're getting a little desperate to have a manager in place before the start of the new season."

I nodded slowly. I liked where this conversation was going. Come on, aren't you desperate? Just give the word and I'll take the job immediately.

"Truth be told, before we heard about you, we were very close to appointing Sam Allardyce. I trust you have heard of him before."

No, I haven't. Does it matter?

"Allardyce is very different from you, Hachiman. He has managed many teams, amassing years and years of experience. You could say he's one of the veterans of football management in the Premier League. But, and this is a very big but, we don't like the kind of football he implements into his teams. It is, simply put, mediocre. Not anything that we're looking for."

The glasses-wearing American turned to his colleague. As if on cue, he pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. I strained my eyes to skim through its contents. It was a contract.

"If you're willing to accede to our request and play the style of exciting football we're looking for, we can overlook your inexperience. It would be our pleasure to offer you this one-year contract to become the manager of Liverpool."

The contract was handed over. I swiftly focused onto the section entitled salary.

£72,000 pounds a week.

"When do I start?"

Loving how you're telling us what's going on in your head Great update and good luck at Liverpool

SooruSooru: Just trying out new things Thanks!

wellsy1498: Thanks wellsy!

Jack: It's the same for me, it's really enjoyable to write from the perspective of the main character, especially if it's a guy like Hachiman. Thanks!

---

Liverpool Football Club have shocked the entire footballing world after naming a complete unknown from Japan as the club's next manager.

Hachiman Hikigaya will be the Reds' first ever Asian manager in their long 123-year history and has taken over the reins just in time for their pre-season tour of the United States.

The decision to appoint Hikigaya is undoubtedly a baffling one with the 22-year-old being younger than several of the first team players in his inherited squad, as well as having no prior management experience to speak of.

Fans have, very obviously, ridiculed the appointment, as well as suggested that the whole affair is an awful attempt at a joke by club owners Fenway Sports Group. With Hikigaya's first press conference scheduled for tomorrow morning though, the possibility of it being an uncharacteristic FSG pranking is growing remote.

Hikigaya himself has spoken out and an interview by LFCTV's Claire Rourke was posted onto the club's official website shortly after the announcement.

"I'm very excited to be given the chance to show what I can do at Liverpool," said the Premier League's newest and youngest manager. "It's very exciting opportunity for me and I am pleased to be here. Of course it's going to be a tough challenge to meet the expectations set but I'm ready to do just that."

But when asked about the club's transfer dealings so far this summer, Hikigaya admitted that he had no hand in any of the player purchases prior to his arrival, something that could potentially cause worry.

"No, I did not tell the club who to buy," he denied. "I trust the board and the people at the club who made the signings. I'm sure they are very good players and I look forward to working with them."

Having signed a short one-year contract that expires at the end of the 2015/16 season, it is down to Hikigaya to prove that he deserves a long-term extension to stay at Anfield for longer.

The primary demands will almost certainly be for the up-and-coming Japanese coach to improve on predecessor Brendan Rodgers' results from last season by securing Champions League football.

Stay tuned for Hikigaya's first press conference as Liverpool manager live tomorrow morning at 11 o'clock.

Your talent in writing from any perspective is extremely impressive man

Sweet, I love Liverpool stories.
I'm still a good bit behind, I've read now the first post (with the girl). It was amazing, great work
I will be trying to catching up with you in the next days, but really loved the beggining, and your writing.
Good luck for your story.

Jack: I'm flattered! I'm not sure about being the best, but I do try!

Murtagh: I love Liverpool stories as well! Thank you for the kind words.

I instantly discovered something new about myself about five minutes into my first press conference - I don't like press conferences.

Firstly, I strongly dislike being the center of attention. The feeling of many individuals resting their gazes on my face, watching my every move, isn't a feeling that I relish. I prefer staying in the shadows and minding my own business.

Secondly, I try to avoid conversations with unintelligent people as much as possible. I've met my own fair share of idiots in the past and it felt as if I had to forcefully lower my IQ simply to understand what they were trying to say.

The journalist who popped the first question of the press conference was one such idiot.

"Hi Hachiman, Jon Curtis from the Daily Mirror here. Moving forward, do you feel that your ambitions for Liverpool are matched by the owners?"

Was this person honestly challenging me to criticize my boss on my first day at work?

"Of course, Mr Curtis," I heavily emphasized on that last word to inform him that we weren't on a first name basis. "I wouldn't have taken this job otherwise."

The man named Curtis pressed on. "To our knowledge, the players signed by Liverpool so far this summer were all targets of the club's transfer committee and not you, the manager himself. Can you elaborate more on what you think about that?"

I still didn't know the full meaning behind the terms 'transfers' and 'signings', but naturally I had to conceal my ignorance.

"There is nothing to elaborate about, I only got this job yesterday," I reminded the journalist, who was frankly starting to annoy me with his questions. "Obviously I don't have much to say about the decisions that were made before I came in."

"Can you tell us whether you will be able to find space for these new signings in your squad?"

No, I can't. I don't even know their names.

"Sure, why not?"

Mr Curtis seemed happy with the response. Thank God. I was growing quite tired of his pointless queries.

Another journalist stepped up and fired away. "With all the new signings that have already been made by the club already, will you be given any extra funds for your own targets?"

At that point I felt like I was retaking my high school examinations, where every question got tougher and tougher.

Instinctively I turned to the person beside me for help. Liverpool's Managing Director, I think his name was Ian something, looked ready to answer this one.

"Yes, there will be a certain amount allocated to Hachiman for targets of his own. Owing to the business that has already been conducted beforehand, and the board's belief that the team is perfect at this point in time, it's not going to be a big sum. But there will be enough money to strengthen any areas that Hachiman feels is required."

I would have smiled at him as thanks for helping me with the question. Alas, Hachiman Hikigaya doesn't smile.

"This is Luis Fuentes from Eurosport. What are some of the targets set for you this season? How confident are you in meeting them?"

Alright, all I had to do was recite what I'd been told.

"To finish 4th place in the Premier League. I'm a very optimistic person so yes, I feel fairly confident in being able to meet the targets set."

Actually, 'pessimism' is my middle name, but I don't think I could have said anything else.

"Do you think it's realistic of the board to have such high expectations of your first season in charge?"

Trying to make me say negative things about my bosses again? I was starting to get the feeling that the English media were desperate for controversy.

"I think they have every right to have these expectations," I rebutted. You're not going to catch me saying what you want me to say, please stop trying.

"Hello, this is Jon Curtis again. I have another question I would like to ask."

No. Stop. Not this guy. Someone get him out of here.

"At just 22 years old, you're the youngest manager in not only the Premier League but possibly the world. What made you want to venture into this territory instead of something else, for example, a playing career?"

Believe me, Curtis, I've tried doing something else. If getting sacked three times in one month isn't proof of 'trying to do something else', I don't know what is.

"I don't think I'm suited to playing football. I've always been more of a tactical person and football management is something I've always wanted to do." Yet again, another lie. How many tales have I spun this week? I should be just about done writing my novel of bullshit.

"Are there perhaps any fears that the players won't respect you due to your young age?"

"No, I can't say I'm fearful of anything like that."

This, at least, was a statement of truth. The players didn't have to respect me, heck, I'm not sure I even care if they like me or not. I'm just in this for the money. I wouldn't mind being treated like a piece of trash as long as I was getting that sweet £72,000 per week.

In any case, from my experiences in school and former workplaces, I've grown accustomed to being 'the loser', or 'the jackass with no friends'. My time at this club probably wasn't going to be any different.

---

Liverpool's training ground was apparently dubbed Melwood, and I had been advised by Ian to head over following the end of the press conference, where I could meet the players for the first time.

Stepping onto the field, what immediately came into my field of vision was a total of about over twenty men kicking a football around, monitored by the all-too-recognizable Hayato Hayama.

I wasn't sure how to approach the group and settled for being an awkward spectator from afar. To my relief, one of the footballers finally noticed my presence.

He proceeded to run over. "Hey mate!"

Mate? That level of familiarity from a stranger made me feel uncomfortable.

"You're Asian, you must be the new gaffer."

Not just overly familiar, but casual racism as well, it seems. Defining me through a noticeable trait that isn't related to the continent I come from would be great, thanks.

"I'm Jordan Henderson. It's great to finally meet you, gaffer," he smiled and extended his hand, presumably for a handshake.

I accepted his friendly gesture and regretted it as soon as I did. His palms were sweaty.

Now I had no idea who this Jordan Henderson fellow was. Still, I tried to sound as polite as possible, trying my hardest to hide the disgust I was feeling from the earlier handshake.

"Thanks... it's great to be here."

I took a few moments to prepare myself mentally, as Henderson excused himself and returned to join his teammates in training.

It was time to get to work.

Ahead of new boss Hachiman Hikigaya's debut season as Liverpool manager, we explore the squad he has inherited from Brendan Rodgers in a brief overview.


As it stands, Simon Mignolet is Liverpool's undisputed first-choice in goal. The Belgian stopper came under criticism for some of his performances last season but remains a reliable goalkeeper of Premier League quality. On the contrary, Adam Bogdan most recently lost a first team place at Championship side Bolton Wanderers. An area that might need some strengthening, especially if Mignolet's form starts to slip.


Liverpool have looked leaky defensively in recent seasons but new signing Nathaniel Clyne could be the answer to the problems. A back four of Clyne, Mamadou Sakho, Martin Skrtel and Alberto Moreno will almost certainly ensure Mignolet keeps as many clean sheets as possible. However, with Jon Flanagan out for at least half a year and Jose Enrique ready to leave the club, a top priority for Hikigaya will be to get in backup options for his full-backs.


Midfield is arguably the prowess of Liverpool's squad. The incredible amount of talent packed in this area of the team means that no further reinforcement will be needed. Emre Can, a player of many positions, is likely to find his place in midfield alongside Jordan Henderson, leaving Lucas Leiva, James Milner and Joe Allen to fight for the remaining spots. Against the likes of Philippe Coutinho and Adam Lallana, even £29 million man Roberto Firmino will have it all to do


The arrival of Christian Benteke cost Liverpool £32 million but it is fair to say that Daniel Sturridge is still the club's most lethal front man. However, with Sturridge on the sidelines nursing a long term injury, Benteke will have to step up and convince Hikigaya that he is deserving of a first team place. Behind the big target man, young guns Divock Origi and Danny Ings are also ready to take their chances.


Shipped out on loan by Rodgers before he left the club, Lazar Markovic and Mario Balotelli did not have the best of debut seasons at Liverpool. A way back into Anfield is still open, but that will depend largely on their performances at Fenerbahce and Milan respectively.

Firmino is f***ing shit. Don't know why rodgers bought such a waste of a player

Your beckham's story is fantastic.

SooruSooru: A little bit too harsh aren't we? I think he's looking good irl at least! Thanks for taking the time to read From Hero to Zero!

In every high school, there's always that one boy who seems to be absolutely perfect. He has zero flaws - or at least, if he does have any, you can't see them. He's good at everything: sports, grades, social ability. Most importantly, he's popular.

People love him - guys literally worship him, and girls lick his feet, all of them eager to be the next in line to get a taste of his sexual organ.

Simply put, these kind of people are the gods of the school. Being the complete opposite of such a character, it was natural for me to develop a mild hatred of their fortune.

I was convinced they were posers, in fact, I still believe in that notion. You can't be so widely loved and not be a fake asshole at the same time. It's just not possible.

Long story short, I don't like popular people for being popular. Very mature, I know.

I resolved to never associate myself with these popular individuals from high school after breaking free of Japan's education system. Too bad God had other plans.

"We've offered Hayato a promotion from his coaching role. From today onward, he will be your assistant manager."

Taken aback, I processed the words that had just been uttered by Ian Ayre.

"Why him?"

Please. Anyone but him.

Beside Ayre, Hayato Hayama had an awkward look on his handsome face as he ran a hand through his stylish blonde hair.

In a completely non-homosexual way, I wondered how a mere mortal could look so flawless. It was a question I still struggled to answer ever since my discovery of Hayama's existence six years ago.

He was, in every aspect, the definition of perfection. I detested him for that.

I would take anyone as my right hand man. Not Hayama. Anyone but Hayama.

Ayre looked confused. "Your agent mentioned in the job application that you wanted Hayama to be your assistant if we made you manager."

Thanks, Haruno.

"Oh, okay," I dug my hands into my pockets, making the effort to conceal my annoyance. "Good to be able to work with you, Hayama."

I think the lack of enthusiasm in my voice told a different story.

---

I looked around in awe, committing the place to memory.

It was an office, the first ever that I could call my own. It made me feel important and needed. For once in my life, I was the boss.

At one corner of the room was my new desk, complete with a huge desktop and an amazing view outside the window that overlooked the training pitch. In the other corner was an inviting red sofa.

It was a good office, and would have been all the more glorious if not for the presence of the man standing before me.

I sank down onto the office chair and placed a hand on the impressive-looking desk, quietly appreciating its cooling touch. The silence was rudely broken when Hayama spoke up.

"Are you ready, Hikigaya?"

Ready? Was there something to prepare for? "What do you mean?"

"To get down to business," he replied with a smile. "You seem to be more interested in the desk than the meeting I'm here for."

Man, you came here of your own accord. Why are you barging in on me at this time? Couldn't you just have allowed me to take in the sight of my first office in peace?

"What do you want?"

If Hayama noticed my hostility he didn't show it. My new assistant manager produced a tablet computer out of seemingly nowhere and browsed through it.

"First off, we have transfer bids for Kolo Toure and Jose Enrique."

"Who are they?"

Hayama chuckled in response. I frowned at him. I had just posed a question, not a joke.

"Come on Hikigaya, you're the manager of Liverpool. At least know who your players are," he chided playfully. His friendly attitude disturbed me.

Ignoring his small piece of advice entirely, I moved on to my next enquiry. "What are transfer bids?"

"Ahaha, you're really clueless about this whole thing, aren't you?" Hayama's know-it-all stance soon made me regret asking. "Transfers are a big part of being a manager. It's basically trading, you sell players on your team and buy new ones. It's that simple."

Suddenly, it felt like this whole football management job was a game, with Hayama being the tutorial that helped to get new players started.

"There are a lot of reasons to dip into the transfer market. You might think a player is not good enough for your team, or-"

"Okay," I cut him off. I didn't like tutorials, to be honest, I usually just skipped them to figure out the game myself. "So are the players you mentioned good enough or not?"

"Toure and Enrique? No, I don't think so. Toure plays at center-back, where we have plenty of other options. Enrique isn't a very solid left-back, so I think we should replace him with a better player if we can."

The footballing terms that I didn't understand made my head spin. "Accept the bids then."

"If Enrique is allowed to leave, we are going to have to bring in a new left-back," Hayama declared, as he studied his tablet. "I looked into it beforehand and the scouts recommend-"

I didn't let him finish. I was keen to experience some peace and quiet in my new office alone, and for that Hayama had to leave.

"Sure, just buy whoever's best."

His skeptical look made it known that he wasn't too pleased at my reply. However, he refrained from forcing it, opting to instead progress to the next agenda.

"We will be leaving for the USA on our pre-season tour next week. Over there, we will play New England Revolution in a friendly."

USA? Pre-season tour? That sounded tedious.

"Do I have to go?" I asked. I already half-knew what the answer would be, still I thought I would take the chance.

Hayama cleared his throat. "You are the manager of this football team, Hikigaya," came the friendly reminder.

I sighed. "Right, of course I am."

An eternity later, my assistant agreed to take his leave, and I was finally granted the loneliness that I had been craving for.

Relaxing in my new office came first. The USA could wait.

2015-11-22 22:36#222040 Glenn T : SooruSooru: A little bit too harsh aren't we? I think he's looking good irl at least! Thanks for taking the time to read From Hero to Zero!

not a bit. He is a fool. A waste. But he played well against city.

P.S. What is SNAFU? I don't know it