The Burnley President had enough of Sean Dyche as he led the Burnley side to relegation and Sky Bet championship winners in his run but had done nothing remarkable.They wanted someone with pride,passion and a good sense of humour so they could atleast use the manager for something...Eventually they found their perfect pick...Who you might think?The one and only Swag Boi.Swag Boi was one of the most revolutionary players for his club and country.He scored 320 goals for Nottingham Forrest while being a Keeper!Even Nicklas Bendtner hasn't scored that much!He also scored 54 goals for England while being a keeper.But when it was the big games Fabio Cappello would always sub on Emile Heskey just to piss Swag Boi off.Most people don't know about him because Brian Clough forgot to press "Keep history after retirement"...But he embarks a new journey being Manager of Burnley Football Club.
The first thing as manager Swag has to do is to meet the President Mike Garlick(Trust me I'm not lying that's his name),The President rambles on about boring stuff such as staff etc.Swag already had it in his mind that the first thing he does is set up a meeting with the board to discuss club philosophies and set up an intra squad friendly to learn about the team and if they are capable enough to beat a bunch of kids.Ofcourse then I checked the team out and realized that there isn't good depth in terms of attack and defence.Thus,the best way to improve this was to get some quality wonderkids.But before that I put the team on tactics training as they didn't know anything about the tactic and it felt like the whole squad was just a bunch of Mario Balotelli's...But once that was done Swag was heading onto the fun part.Signing wonderkids
The first wonderkid that Swag prepared to sign was the BEAST himself Kuki.One of the most promising wonderkids in football,Kuki was sure to improve and was already loan listed by the idiots that were Malaga.But 11 clubs were already interested clubs which included Crystal Palace and Watford.Now if you knew Swag the last thing he wanted was to let Kuki play with Benteke or Troy Deeney so he immediately offered Malaga an offer for a cheap $2.5m.Now it was time time to move to Defence.I put an offer in for another BEAST that is Matthijs de Ligt(I wonder how the Dutch come up with these names).Another Cheap wonderkid who's club accepted a deal of just $2m!Even Joey Barton costs more than that and Barton isn't even half decent!
SO the next day the board sends their requirements for the season and they expect us to avoid relegation,reach Round 5 of the FA Cup and Round 4 of the EFL Cup.Swag accepted those demands but he knew his players were hoping to win all the competitions.But Swag wasn't gonna tell that to the Board but his players and he knew that they were going to do it.The Club also offers a transfer budget of $14m but Swag knows he can change the team with just $100.Just supply his players with a Red Bull before every match...But the next mail was from De Ligt's agent as he said Burnley aren't a big club so he can't join it.Now I guess he mistook which club he was referring to but Swag didn't want to convince him.He moved on to another BEAST wonderkid defender who's name was Issa Diop(seriously though who names these guys...)
Swag went on and offered his club $7.5m and the next day negotiated a contract of 988k per year(He should probably change his name with that money...)but the day that Issa Diop confirmed his transfer to Burnley Kuki rejected going into talks with Burnley.Now while Swag did say he was a good player he wasn't the best wonderkid as he remembered the actual best Striker which was THE BEAST Andrea Pinamonti.The BEAST was brought by Swag for just $1.5m.But as the pre season begins the team will need to start playing with new players to get used to them.But will these players even come before the transfer window ends.Will they even come to the club.Will they not ask $10m a year just for being at this club?Stay alive and tuned for the next part of this story which will release very soon!
The first thing as manager Swag has to do is to meet the President Mike Garlick(Trust me I'm not lying that's his name),The President rambles on about boring stuff such as staff etc.Swag already had it in his mind that the first thing he does is set up a meeting with the board to discuss club philosophies and set up an intra squad friendly to learn about the team and if they are capable enough to beat a bunch of kids.Ofcourse then I checked the team out and realized that there isn't good depth in terms of attack and defence.Thus,the best way to improve this was to get some quality wonderkids.But before that I put the team on tactics training as they didn't know anything about the tactic and it felt like the whole squad was just a bunch of Mario Balotelli's...But once that was done Swag was heading onto the fun part.Signing wonderkids
The first wonderkid that Swag prepared to sign was the BEAST himself Kuki.One of the most promising wonderkids in football,Kuki was sure to improve and was already loan listed by the idiots that were Malaga.But 11 clubs were already interested clubs which included Crystal Palace and Watford.Now if you knew Swag the last thing he wanted was to let Kuki play with Benteke or Troy Deeney so he immediately offered Malaga an offer for a cheap $2.5m.Now it was time time to move to Defence.I put an offer in for another BEAST that is Matthijs de Ligt(I wonder how the Dutch come up with these names).Another Cheap wonderkid who's club accepted a deal of just $2m!Even Joey Barton costs more than that and Barton isn't even half decent!
SO the next day the board sends their requirements for the season and they expect us to avoid relegation,reach Round 5 of the FA Cup and Round 4 of the EFL Cup.Swag accepted those demands but he knew his players were hoping to win all the competitions.But Swag wasn't gonna tell that to the Board but his players and he knew that they were going to do it.The Club also offers a transfer budget of $14m but Swag knows he can change the team with just $100.Just supply his players with a Red Bull before every match...But the next mail was from De Ligt's agent as he said Burnley aren't a big club so he can't join it.Now I guess he mistook which club he was referring to but Swag didn't want to convince him.He moved on to another BEAST wonderkid defender who's name was Issa Diop(seriously though who names these guys...)
Swag went on and offered his club $7.5m and the next day negotiated a contract of 988k per year(He should probably change his name with that money...)but the day that Issa Diop confirmed his transfer to Burnley Kuki rejected going into talks with Burnley.Now while Swag did say he was a good player he wasn't the best wonderkid as he remembered the actual best Striker which was THE BEAST Andrea Pinamonti.The BEAST was brought by Swag for just $1.5m.But as the pre season begins the team will need to start playing with new players to get used to them.But will these players even come before the transfer window ends.Will they even come to the club.Will they not ask $10m a year just for being at this club?Stay alive and tuned for the next part of this story which will release very soon!
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