Journeyman Career

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=171111600Started a journeyman career, where u start unemployed and set your experience to Sunday league, the team i managed to get a job with was Hayes and Yeading in the conference South, in my first three games i didn't score a goal and lost 2 and drew one but in my next 4 i scored 15 goals and didn't concede a goal so hopefully i keep up the good form to get a good league position. Will keep updating every few games anyone feel free to submit there own journeyman careers be nice to see how you all did or are doing.

Sorry to say mate but your story is all over the place. 1. It should be "You" not "U" 2. You should write in Paragraphs and 3. when doing scores you should go "Hayes and Yeading 1-0 Barrow, I hope you improve as a lot of people will be put off by these problems

Maybe try and have a look at some paragraphing, and some simple codes like Bold etc.

Take a look at your writing before you post it and think if you would actually read it. First, your picture doesn't work, secondly, you need to use punctuation and proper English. You need to give more detail too. You shouldn't just say 'and the team I managed to get a job at was Hayes and Yeading'. You need to say that you have started with Hayes and Yeading, give a whole update devoted to the club, using screenshots, and describing the club's history and recent events, any notable things. You also need to tell us, in separate updates, what your results are, tell us who you played and who scored. Read some of the other stories on the site, take bits from them. Who have you signed? What were your friendlies? What are your goals for the season?

I recommend you take a look at the bbcodes page and the Football Manager Story Writing guide.