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Rags to Riches

Valued at just £45k, time to climb the rich list.
Started on 21 July 2015 by Nastymiller
Latest Reply on 15 August 2015 by Jer
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Nastymiller's avatar Group Nastymiller
7 yearsEdited
Diary style updates on my mission of taking Gloucester from the bottom of the rich league to the top.


After meeting the chairman and blowing smoke up his arse about how happy I was at joining the club, it was a back room meeting with the men in charge of helping me add value to the club.

8 people would be helping me at the moment, but that would grow as I asked the chairman to find me a director of football. With someone to help with the backroom staff I could concentrate on the players.

The playing squad was thin, 16 players good enough for the first team with 6 in the 2nd string and nothing at all in the youth team, it would take me a couple of years before I had 3 players in each position.

Before looking at the transfer list I decided to call the bookies and ask what the odds were on us winning the league, 150/1 was the answer and 17th out 22nd position in the betting ranks. If we stayed up then that would be a great result in my first season.

I have offered a pay as you play deal to 21 year old Dan Bennett who is without a club, Dan came through the youth ranks at Plymouth in 2008/09 and moved on a free to the then Premiership side Portsmouth and spent 2 seasons with them before leaving in 2011. Out of the game for a few years, I hope to convince him he can play a part and if hungry enough he will earn a few quid.
Nastymiller's avatar Group Nastymiller
7 yearsEdited

It only took Dan a couple of days to give me and the club a chance, signing a pay as he plays deal. A decent regional league player, I am hoping he will rise to the occasion and help keep the club up. Dan is our best defensive player at the club and 10th best overall and if he stays fit will be one of the first names on the team sheet.

With the success with Dan I decided that was the name of the game and targeted another 21 year old centre half named Matthew McGiveron who learnt the game at Liverpool from 2009/10 to 2012 before being released on a free. A year at Brighton and no games saw him leave and less than a year out of the game sees me sell the same pay as you play dream to him. Bath and Leamington are both yet to offer a contract to him, so again, fingers crossed and he may become the 2nd peg of a back 3.

That feeling you get when you got what you wanted and then decided oh feck! That's the feeling I got when I saw young Matthew in training for the first time. The scouts had got it all wrong, he was pants!!!! 4th best center half at best and his only saving grace was the fact he could just about play at either left or right back (If I decide to play with a flat back 4 that is).

Stuck him in with the first team to train with as he can only get better and to also save face, 12th best player at the club.

Having been burnt with the last signing I hoped this next one to be much better. 22 year old Chace O'Neill can redeem the scouting team, this ex Spurs trainee (of the years 2008/10) was released, lost his way and ended up at Staines can become a steady away center midfield player for me.

3 backroom staff made their way to the club, Under 18 coach Mark Bonner was first and has been brought in ready for when our first crop of youngsters come through the ranks, next was scout Karl Ballard and finally Adie Britton came to the club as Director of Football.

2 Pre-season games have been played, the usual 1st team against 2nd string ended in a 3-3 draw. This was followed by a shitty 3-2 defeat away at Chasetown of the Northern Premier D1S, our saving grace was only 36 people saw the performance!

Looks like the scouts have stuck it up me again, with Chace being my 4th best center midfield player! He can however play on the right hand side, and this means he gets a place training with the first team squad. Ranked 13th best player in the first team squad, it's time to look at the loan market rather than signings until my scouts get a grip.

With this in mind, I am looking to bring in 33 year old Jon Boardman in on a season long loan from Hungerford of the Southern Premier league, with 276 league games to his name he will be a player that I am sure will anchor the defense to gain the points needed to stay up.

So Jon brings his wealth of experience to the club for the season, and is classed as my 11th best squad player and best center half at the club, which makes me happy as at least with this signing I am getting an immediate benefit of first team strengthening.

With the start of the season still a couple of weeks away, my sights now turned to 26 year old central striker Giuseppe Sole. Sole would be brought to the club on a season long loan and with 85 league goals in 268 league games, should be good enough for double figures.

Going out on loan is Tristain Haswell who has joined Southern D1SW side Cinderford, at just 17 years of age I am hoping the year long loan will see plenty of football and develop him well.

After Sole had given me the rods to joining on loan, another potential signing too gave the two fingered salute to joining our world beaters.

I did however gain the season long loan signing of Declan who has come through the youth ranks Nuneaton, he will give me options if I decide to play with full backs and costing me nothing, it helps with numbers if nothing more. Ranked as the worst first team player, my scouts are having a blinding time...they continue delivering me this shit and I am going to sack them.

On the field, results are a mirror image of our recruitment....pants with the 1st team losing 1-0 away at some Welsh League Div 1 team named Aberdare in front of 19 fans and almost quadruple that number in sheep.

Following that result, 425 fans turned up for a home friendly against Shrewsbury and a 1-0 defeat.

It's going to be a long, long season.

Another youth from Nuneaton is being lined up for a loan spell, I have a feeling he will sign and if so, I will have to decide if I am to play a flat back 4 or 3 central defenders.

Away from the club young Tristain had his leg broke by some 'Richard' in training, at least 6 months on the sidelines and any development hopes I had for him are now to be binned.

2 more loan signings, this time on 3 month deals. First in is 18 year old full back Tom Rayson from Nuneaton and can play anywhere across the back four, a complete dog shit recommendation from my scouts again. 19th best player in the squad, or 1st worst player depending on how you want to spin it.

The 2nd player coming in is 17 year old full back Ashley Thorpe from Burton and is another shite player - I think I might knock bringing players in for the rest of this season as my scouting team must have been trained by Stevie Wonder.

1,019 fans turn out in force to watch a home game against Burnley's 2nd string, losing 4-2 the team are now ready for the start of the season. 4 defeats out of 4 mean we will have a stonking season and most probably win the league right? That's what they say don't they? A shite pre-season and a great season....or am I living in hope?

Anyhow, another loan signing for 3 months, with 24 year old Oliie Thorne joining the squad and is the 12th best player at the club. I am still hoping to bring another face into the club before the season starts as I am just hoping to pile enough points on the board before the xmas dip no doubt I will have with a squad this poor.
Nastymiller's avatar Group Nastymiller
7 yearsEdited

I have decided to hand recruitment over to my director of football for a while as I am sick of being shit on by my scouts.

Sitting down with the board, they quite simply said the following would keep me in a job, anything less will see me looking for a new job.

Contemplating my line up and what formation to play with the joke of a squad I had, I decided upon a 3-5-2, I was going to bore the life out of football and try to bully teams with the 5 in the middle. If the opposition broke through then I may be in trouble, but I was hoping the energy in the middle of the park would be enough to tire teams out and maybe steal a few wins in the last quarter of the matches.

Mor Diop, my 22 year old French striker is a good player for this level of football and I am confident that if he stays fit he will hit double figures with ease. He's the best player at the club and my fear is that with him being on a pay as you play deal he won't see the full season out with me. By the time he goes I hope he has helped get enough points on the board to see us stay up.

So the first month of football is over and done with, and errr well the start has not been the greatest sitting in 20th place with just 4 points from 6 games.

My best player injured during a reserve game and with 2 games a week, a very tired squad that just is not good enough.

A memo from the board told me the club had sold 50 season tickets for the season which was the same as last season, and in turn tells me the club won't have a great deal of cash to use on wages. That I knew when I took over though and just to get to the end of the season with the youth players I bring through the ranks will be success enough I feel.

Looking at where the goals have been scored pretty much sums the start of the season up

Long balls over the top have been the tactics used against me with nearly all the goals coming from balls over the top and the quick strikers beating my back 3. Whilst we have the ability in midfield to smash long shots in with the strikers picking up rebounds.

I'm expecting a similar upcoming month unless more players can be found by my director of football, who has pulled in a pretty decent signing with 18 year old Jack ranked as my 2nd best midfield player and 4th best at the club. Jack came through the ranks at Reading without playing a first team game, and is actually valued at £11k

Current club value £18k!!! Going backwards.
This killed me. "After meeting the chairman and blowing smoke up his arse".. Hahaha! Looks like you've been unlucky with some signings and injuries, but best of luck!
Thank you Pauker, not been unlucky just a set of blind basts for scouts - as for injuries, I am sure once Mr Diop is back he will fire us up the league.


Memo from coaching staff reads "None of the players responded to our techniques this month boss, the only points to note are that Charlie Griffin and Marc Richards both need to work on their aerobic ability as its shit".

Memo from the board reads "We are satisfied with you at the moment, that is all"

Memo from the FA reads "Chelsea spent a whopping £38.5m this transfer window and FC United brought in 10 players making them the busiest team. The most notable transfers were those of Morgan Schneiderlin for £19.25m (Southampton to Arsenal) and Jan Vertonghen for £15.75m (Spurs to Manure)"

Managed to nab 30 year old Adam Green on loan for 3 months, a full back who can also play on the left of midfield gives me options if I decide to go to a flat back 4. Adam has nearly 300 games to his name at this level and should pass on some great experience during his stay. He is the 8th best player at the club.

On the injury front, Sahr Kabba is back from a 2 month thigh strain lay off and as my 3rd best striker, will be nursed back to fitness and fight for a starting place.

Another loan signing came to the club for 3 months, Matt Villis arrived from Bideford with 250 league games to his name. He adds competition to the central 3 I currently adopt, but with current results that may well change!

Shocking 2nd month at the club with the board vote going only 46% in favor of keeping me, another month like the last one and I think I will be down the job center. I think maybe the cup win kept me in the job last month to be honest.

There really is no rolling this turd in glitter and expecting anything else than brown and sticky, I could do the sensible thing and change formation but that would be giving in. I would rather be sacked than give in to the fact I may have dropped a bollack with the formation.

Still, as Yazz once said "The only way is up..."

A couple of my 2nd string players seem to have smelt the coffee and jumped ship, Femi Orenuga has left as he would rather be looking for a club than be playing for a team looking like going down. Whilst Matthew Williams was offered a 1st team role at Redditch and signed a 1 year deal earning 4 grand a year, better than sitting in my stiffs on "nishty boo da rooney".

Memo from coaching staff read "Nathan Modest has come on leaps and bounds in regards his call control and should be pushing Harry White as our 4th best striker at the club. As with ying and yang, yang this time is the fact that Tom Webb is the latest player to lose aerobic ability".

Will I see the month out, or will I be looking for a new club?

Current club value £7k!!! I really am driving this club into the dirt eh!
Not the best of starts at all! Hopefully you can turn it around!

You are reading "Rags to Riches".

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