Some time later...

Can't be arsed to change the clock's batteries

"I swear, I'll murder the little cunt if he comes anywhere near us! I'll fucking stab him! I will!"
That was John Kerr. He was quite scared. He had gone mad.
"Fuck them! Fuck all of them..."
"Calm down, John," I said, giving him his coffee. He was, of course, talking about Ben Sheppard.
" He can't do anything to us! He doesn't have the balls!" I continued.
" But what about Seni or Zapdos or Pauker?"
"Seni and Zapdos liked us, though. And we'd just kill Pauker."
"But what would we do to his body?"
"Send it back to Sheppard. I'm sure he'd take it as a warning."

At that, John Kerr took his coffee and went upstairs without saying a word.

This story is hilarious

2013-10-25 05:19#139396 Neal : This story is hilarious

Thank God! I thought I was failing!

MOAR League One Action!!!!!!! {I spelled "more" incorrectly on purpose}

Gillingham 0-3 Tranmere Rovers

Kits

Saturday, 10th September 2013

7:30PM, in Tesco, buying some batteries for the clock

Some Gillingham fan called me a "P*ki bastard". So I smashed a jar of Dolmio bolognaise sauce over his head. No-one saw. Thank fuck for that!

On the way home

"Make sure that you do the same to Sheppard and Pauker," said John Kerr, who looked like he was about to piss himself.
"For Christ's sake, John, stop worrying about those twats!" said Liam, handing something to John Kerr, "here, take this! That will help you!"
It was a bottle of Smirnoff.
"Liam, do you have any more?" that was John Eastbound.
"Yes, why?"
"He may need some more, that's all!"
Remarkably, only John Kerr got drunk and even waited until we got home to throw up in the toilet! Things are just getting better!

We've drawn Carlisle away in the JPT.

I forgot which competition this game was played in!

Stevenage 1-3 Tranmere Rovers

Kits:

After the game while we're walking on the streets of Stevenage (if you hadn't already guessed, we don't take the team bus home)...

Some chav stopped us in the streets.
"Ay, bruv," he began, "give us a quid you know, or I swear you is getting shanked fam!"
At that, I told him to fuck off.
"Oh, you shouldn't have done that blad! Man's gonna shank you now!"
"Just piss off, you gangster wannabe!" I shouted at him
He started crying. Maybe we shouldn't have sworn at him; he was only 5.

ALL OF THIS WILL BE REALLY BIG! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish John Kerr wouldn't get drunk and then write shit like that on my blog. Anyway, here are the League 1 results from the 21st September, 2013.

Bradford City 4-0 Leyton Orient
Brentford 2-2 Milton Keynes Dons
Carlisle United 0-2 Bristol City
Colchester United 0-2 Coventry City
Peterborough United 6-0 Gillingham
Sheffield United 2-1 Walsall
Shrewsbury Town 1-1 Stevenage
Swindon Town 2-2 Crawley Town

-UNIIIIIIIINETED sack David Moyes after they lost 3-1 to Everton at Old Trafford. Serves the silly cunt right to be honest.
-Watford send Blackburn Rovers into the Championship relegation zone by beating them 10-2 at Vicarage Road
-Leeds are still bottom of the Championship after losing 6-0 to Charlton
-Leyton Orient are still shit
-Bradford, Tranmere and Peterborough are BEEEEAST!

Funny story.

2013-10-31 09:32#140447 Tellak : Funny story.

Thanks lad!

Johnstone's Paint Trophy

Carlisle United 0-0 Tranmere Rovers*

*We won on penalties. UMAD?

Kits:

After the match...

The Bloc Party were doing a gig up in Cumbria and were in the pub. John Kerr got drunk. He got into a fight with Kele from the Bloc Party. Kele won.

pǝuǝddɐ|-| ƃuᴉ|-|ʇ ɹɐlnɔ|ʇɹɐd s||-|ʇ uǝɥʍ ɹǝqɯǝɯǝɹ ʇ,uɐɔ |

˙ʇ,upɐ|-| | ɥs|ʍ ʎllɐǝɹ | ˙pɹɐoqʎǝʞ puɐ|-| puᄅ ɐ ʇ|-|ƃnoq |

Author's Notice

Alright, alright, since the arrival of FM14, I haven't actually played FM13. I'm NOT going to end this story, though, I'm just going to carry it on for fun.

Things will be REALLY WEIRD from now.

If you find something weird or confusing, please use this emoticon: http://lparchive.org/The-You-Testament-2/Smilies/emot-wtc.gif.

Alright, that's about it. Enjoy!

Why don't I just stop writing the date here? It would be easier. I can never remember it!

At the chip shop

Okay, so that twat Sheppard works at the new chip shop down the road. Unfortunately, Johnny Eastbound and I (Liam and John Kerr were at home) had chosen that particular chip shop to buy dinner from. I went and greeted Sheppard.

"Ben! Hello! Haven't seen you in a while..." I began.
"You! You fucking little cunts! What are you doing in my shop? I'll fucking shoot you!" He shouted at us.
"Ha! You daft cunt! This is England; guns aren't legal here!"
"I don't actually have a gun; I was just threatening you! Now go! Fuck off!"

We fucked off. We went to the old chip shop.

ahaha such a funny story ahaha

tfduvfdfjuygfffjfjgjkgg*

03:00 AM

*Subtle Keyboard Bashing is the only alternative to writing the date

There was a knock at the door. It woke me up straight away and I went downstairs. Liam and Johnny Eastbound were already down. They had answered the door. It was Zapdos and Seni from prison.
"Why are you here? Seriously, why are you in England?" I said.
"We just wanted to let you know," Zapdos hesitated for a moment, "We just wanted you let you know that Sheppard wants to kill you."
"He wants to meet you tomorrow at 11 PM near Edgely Park, the Stockport County ground," Seni said, "Make sure you turn up. We will side with you for this."
"Fuck Sheppard!" began Zapdos, "the man's out of his mind!"
"Okay," said Liam, "we'll be there. And thank you for your help, guys."
"No problem," said Seni.
And at that, they were gone.