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Mourinho: The 15 Year Plan

Started on 20 May 2014 by fmhunter
Latest Reply on 31 July 2014 by pokarioboy
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fmhunter's avatar Group fmhunter
10 years
TO EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED BEFORE THE PRE-SEASON UPDATE

I cannot thank you enough for all these kind words! It means a lot as obviously this update style takes more time and I really am putting the effort in. Probably too much, I've sacrificed my AS Levels to run this story all week ;) BIG thanks!!! <3
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AlexTHFC's avatar Group AlexTHFC
10 years
This is fantastic! One of the, if not THE best story around at the moment. :)
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fmhunter's avatar Group fmhunter
10 years
AlexTHFC: Thank you!!!
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Josh_MU's avatar Group Josh_MU
10 years
Gotta say mate that this is such a quality story, you have really progressed as a writer since you first started writing and I must applaud you not only for the content in this story, but the time and commitment you put in. This should be nominated for story of the month.
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Bst's avatar Group Bst
10 years
Like i said before the best story on FM Scout!! I can't wait for the next update,keep it up! #MonacoForLigue1 :)
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swanny8589's avatar Group swanny8589
10 years
Whats with signing all these english players? I thought you wanted success.. lol.
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fmhunter's avatar Group fmhunter
10 years • Edited

#7: Whisky & Cigars | 8 August 2014

I don't smoke. I don't drink. But I sit here in my kitchen, halfway through a bottle of Scotch whiskey Fergie bought me for Christmas in 2009, smoking my way through a box of cigars Carlo Ancelotti bought me for my 50th birthday.

I feel worn, dragged, useless. The French media continue to lambast and criticise me for my transfer dealings, for sacking Vasylyev who has apparently 'transformed Monaco and laid foundations for future success'.

No, he hasn't, he's done nothing. He was given the title 'Director of Football' - not at all reflecting his knowledge and understanding of the game, and then praised for as long as the sun will shine for it by French media as the 'saviour' of AS Monaco. They think he was the man behind signing Falcao, Moutinho, Berbatov, Rodriguez – the world class players brought into the side on massive money. Bollocks to him, the only thing he's done since I signed is give me a microphone to address the crowd with. Ranieri gave him a list of players and the contact details for their agents and so he rang round and asked about availability and release fee clauses. He knows nothing about the game.

It's a day before the first game of our season away at Sochaux and I haven't travelled with the team. I'll make my own way there in the morning. I'm drunk, and I'm love sick. My son still thinks the sun shines out of my rear, and that Matilde is being unreasonable - but my obessesion with winning and being the best has torn the family apart.

I hate French football. It is so boring and badly supported. The club have sold a thousand season tickets...a thousand season tickets. What is that? To win titles, you build a team. I start with a tactic, and then I train the players, starting from the back, moving forward to the midfield and then the attack, teaching each player how to play his role.

Individuals don't win titles, teams do. And in a team, there might be 25 players, and then in a team there is the fans. To me, fans are not on the outside looking in, they are part of the team. You can't win the title with no fans, because you only have 75% of a team. And the last thing, you need some luck.

I spoke to Cristiano about signing for the club last month – he said that he would have loved to. But he loves the Madrid fans. No player at Monaco can say they love the fans, because there aren't any. I spoke to Dmitry about extra funds for the transfer of Ronaldo, and he granted my wish to bid £96,000,000 for him. It was accepted, I speak to the boy, and he doesn't want to move, and I don't blame him. French football is rubbish, the fans at Monaco are rubbish - and he's right.

There were 18,000 fans packed into Stade Louis II to see the celebrity Jose Mourinho move into the area. Not the football coach Jose Mourinho. When it comes to football, Jose Mourinho and his new team pales in significance to the celebrity gossip.

I light up another cigar, and pour myself another whisky.

It's 3am, and I've been sat here doing this for three hours. I came across a video on YouTube of me with my Chelsea players – giving a team talk pre-matchday. It was the biggest game of the season as I recall, and the passion and desire in my voice – I don't know where it's gone. I can't achieve at Monaco because it is not the only thing on my mind. My 15 year plan, it is going out the window.



My wife has left me, I've not been at training all week because of 'flu' as far as the team knows. The truth is I just don't want to leave the house. It is all going wrong for me, and why? Personally, I blame that bastard Abrahmovic. I probably would have won the title at Chelsea, because I loved each player and they loved me. We had some unlucky results, and we finished 3rd and lost the UEFA Champions League Final to David Moyes' brilliant Manchester United team. These things happen. But the impatient bastard sacks me, without even letting me put forward my ideas to move the club forward – which, by the way, I had produced a twenty-five page document on.

Now, here I am. Managing in a poor league, with huge amounts of money but no happiness.

My phone rings, it's Jorge. Does this guy ever stop working?

“Mourinho.”

“Jose, how are you?” said my permanently energetic agent.

“I'll let you figure that out for yourself Jorge, my wife has just left me and the French media despise me. Other than that, life is a dream.”

“Good, good,” he said, completely disregarding my sarcasm.

“Jose, listen. The interview you gave to Sky?”

I vaguely remember it, urging him to carry on and let me drown my sorrows in peace.

“Well, the thing is. You've been quoted as saying that Monaco has 'no real fans'. You said this, right?”

“It is true, I wasn't in the mood for microphone being shoved in my face and then asked about the season ticket situation. Anyway, that was nearly a month ago, forget about it.”

“Well, I would, but Dmitry is mad. The Monaco Times are publishing the story today, the morning of your first game of the season. I did everything I could for them not to publish the story, but I failed.”

“It's not a problem, if we win they will forget Jorge, now go to sleep.”

“Jose you don't understand, the fans that Monaco does actually have are protesting outside the stadium, as we speak...the article has gone live on their website and Dmitry wants to see you first thing in the morning.” said Jorge, now panicking frantically.

Shit. Surely I can't lose my job over such a trivial statement?

“OK, Jorge, thanks. I'll speak to you after the game tomorrow. I'll meet Dmitry at the ground about 10am.” I said, almost panicking myself if I wasn't half cut.

The line went dead, and a message appeared on my phone. It was from Jorge, a link to the Monaco Times article set to be published tomorrow.


Oh, bollocks.
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captainbrickarms's avatar Group captainbrickarms
10 years
Hi dear, is mr mouriniho for the chop?
i think he should just punch dimitry for the banter :D
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Griffo's avatar Group Griffo
10 years
Very well written, leaves you wanting more! Brilliant!
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fmhunter's avatar Group fmhunter
10 years • Edited

#8: Summoned To The Boardroom | 9 August 2014

I'm not going to lie, I've got a sore head and a chesty cough. I look like shit and I've no excuse whatsoever for the inquisition sat before me.

Dmitry looks angry, very angry. There are actually still some 'fans' outside screaming 'Mourinho Out'. I noticed them initially when an egg splattered all over the windscreen of my car as I drove into the stadium grounds – remind me to get Vasilyev to wash that off. If only these passionate supporters would turn up on a Saturday.

These last few weeks, I fall so deep into a depression that I can't even think about football, running this club. I made a silly comment to the media and now I'm public enemy number one.

My wife had literally just left me, I mean come on, you're asking me about season ticket sales, or lack of, while I'm in this state of mind? I wasn't going to pretend things are rosy. I am man, a man who has been used to a sex life. Now, I have sex twice in four weeks. A very sexy Russian girl, don't get me wrong, but she is too young to settle down with 50 odd year old football coach, and besides, she tells me she has a husband. That really doesn't bother me, Matilde ruined my life, and I bet she feels better than I do. I couldn't give two hoots if I ruin some other poor blokes for sleeping with their wife.

“Jose you have made huge, huge error.” started Dmitry, sounding like a school head master.

“Unfortunately, as you can see outside, these fans do exist. One thousand season tickets, that is one thousand more than zero.”

Statistically correct, but I fail to recognise the point being made there.

“Dmitry I apologise for this mistake, and a slip of the tongue is all this was. I can make things up with the fans, if we win our opening few games of the season I will be hero and not villain – football fans forget easily.” I said through gritted teeth.

“You do not run this football club. It is not Mourinho show. It is Monaco show. I tasked you with taking this club to the Ligue 1 title, and of course you are judged on results. But if the fans don't want you Jose, you will go.”

I can't even believe I'm hearing this.

“Yes, of course, Dmitry. Shall I consider this a warning?”

“A written one, yes.” said Dmitry sternly, handing me an envelope with the AS Monaco crest embossed on the front. A classy touch for the rather dismal document within.

“Jose, you have made big mistake. On this occasion it is a warning, next time, you won't be so lucky. Make sure the results are fucking brilliant, too.”

“Yes, boss.” I replied, sick of listening to the testicles flowing from his mush.

I turned and began to make my way out of the boardroom where this meeting had taken place. I have game at Sochaux today and need to make a move immediately to be there for a couple of hours before kick-off. First game of the season is very important.

As I approached the door, it opened, revealing a beautiful young blonde woman who just walked straight past me without acknowledgment.


“Dmitry my baby! When do we leave for St. Tropez?” she said to the man probably around 30 years her senior.

“In a moment darling. Jose! Come, come.” he beckoned me back into the boardroom – I was trying to get out as quickly as I could.

“Jose, this is my wife, Margot.” he said, sliding his hand down her back in a perverse fashion she seemed to enjoy.

I know, I thought to myself.

She slept with me twice last week...
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Jer's avatar Group Jer
10 years
That update doe.
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Griffo's avatar Group Griffo
10 years
HA! Quality!
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Feliks's avatar Group Feliks
10 years
scandals at as monaco!
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Arvind's avatar Group Arvind
10 years
http://www.mcwisconsin.com/mcstateimages/operators/1000015005/imlovin3.JPG
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fmhunter's avatar Group fmhunter
10 years
Pauker, Griffo, fzemdegs & Arvind: Thank you very much for your continued support. Whilst today I do go on holiday for two weeks, I will continue to try and update this story as frequently as is humanly possible. Oh and Arv, I'm lovin' it too!
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