FM Scout is the only community you can talk Football Manager in real time. Here are 10 reasons to join!

Born and Bred: Colchester United

Started on 14 March 2017 by ScottT / First Post
Latest Reply on 31 August 2017 by De Magere / Last Post
Hmmm not to be a dick but her sister needs a bit of a reality check if she is suicidal over some jackass cheating her.

BUT If shes going to murder or had murdered him then I just got to say holy shit Paddy better watch his back
Griffin- Well if they did then Christ.

Jack- Have Hollywood got the wrong number? ;) Much appreciated mate.

MJK- We'll see...


The hours went by and the door hadn't been opened nor shut. My parents came up to me and asked if I knew what was going on and once I shared that I had no idea either, all we did was panic. We had police on the scene, rushing round trying to find Megan as we ourselves jumped into the car in sought of her. I didn't understand what was happening, what had happened in our time together that Megan would just disappear soon after?

The search went on all night and we still had not found her. My sister was lost somewhere and I had no idea why. Having been with her the rest of the day I could only blame myself, it was something I had done. What else could it have been? That night, I didn't sleep at all and nobody else in the house did either. We were just expecting her to come through the door again and be with us safely again. This wasn't Megan at all, she never did this to us. She knew that she held the family together and with her missing well... we wouldn't survive.

It was the early hours in the morning and the phone rang, the sheer silence that went through the house was chilling. I picked up the phone, I had little idea what my parents were doing but I could only imagine the worst. A gruff voice came from the other end of the line, 'Police speaking,'

'H-hi?' I struggled out.

'I have some news about Megan... we believe we may have discovered her body in a nearby wood. I am very sorry madame.'

'There must be some mistake-'

'We are very certain madame, we believe this could have been a murder but we also have evidence to suggest this was a suicide.'

At this point I was lost for words, the phone dropped out of my hands and my parents must have answered the phone in their own bedroom as I heard a loud scream and a cry. It echoed my own and the whole house was in ruins. In a matter of seconds my pillow was soaked in tears, the line was ended I could only imagine from the police and a few moments later myself, mum and dad were all cuddled into a large ball, sobbing for our dear Megan and what we had lost on this night.

I left the note on the table and my life in that exact wood. I recited the note:

'Mum, dad and most of all Crystal. I will never forget you all, you all have done so much for me and made me the happiest girl ever. Please, don't cry reading this note for it's not your fault, it's my own for being so foolish as to believe the compulsive lies made up by others. I am nothing more than a child who will never be able to be a woman. I am nothing and I am ashamed of myself. I never set out to do this, but the voices are telling me to do it. I cannot ignore the voices, the deed must be done. For this is my time and it has come to an end. I won't forget you and I hope you don't forget me. I love you, I love you all. Love from your daughter and sister, Megan.'

But it wasn't me who ended my life was it?
Great story mate. Very dark
This is really gripping. Did Crystal tell Pat about this?
Man, you're tugging on the old heartstrings. Absolutely captivated by every update you're putting out!
Redvee- Cheers mate

MJK- I believe she did.

Jack- Aye, very upsetting writing this myself. I actually love the character of Megan (you'll see soon!) and much appreciated of course!

I was lost. Having spent the day with Crystal though made me finally realise something, that I couldn't go ahead with this. The suicide note lay on the bedside table, it had been pre-written for now, when I planned to go ahead with it. But I simply couldn't do this to my family, they were too much for me and I finally came to my senses not to let him win, not let that scumbag Ryan win. I needed to clear my head, so going back out was my way of doing it.

The town was pitch black under the streetlights by now and the cold came with it. I began shivering in my skimpy little jacket I brought with me. The streets became desolate and I was all alone as I walk over pastures I hadn't seen before. This town was rather large so I hadn't yet experienced all it had to offer. I had little idea where I were and how far I were from home, all I had was my iPhone in my handbag that must have been low on battery by now.

It was the least of my thoughts though, all I could think of were what I was going to go ahead with and how glad I came to my senses before I ended my own life. My head was simply somewhere else at that point and I don't know how I could just switch like this, but Crystal had some sort of effect on me. She was the younger sister of us two and so I was meant to be the role model, instead she was my rock and seeing how happy she was with me, well it changed me.

Twigs began to snap under feet as I went through some sort of forest. It was far too dark to determine where I was heading, so I just continued pacing through it until I came out the other side. I took my phone out my handbag, stopping to check over 10 calls and texts each from a number of people asking where I were. I opened my log to reply back to my mum, but there was no signal and by the time I found it, my phone switched off. Whether she got my text, I simply didn't know.

My heart raced as I continued to go through endless forest tracks, where was the exit? I looked around in a desperate attempt to find some light at the end but it came to no avail. 'Fuck sake Megan!' I said to myself before slapping myself on the arm. I often took my frustrations out on myself, it was just a way to calm down. So I continued on through, minutes went by that seemed like hours and my feet ached. All I could think of now was getting out and home to my family who I had to talk to.

A part of my brain was just hoping they didn't see the note. I was so silly to not get rid of that before I left but it was the last thing I was thinking of. I just wanted to escape again and let my head rid of the suicidal thoughts that plagued me the past few weeks and mostly the last couple days. I couldn't live without them, or in this case die without them. They meant too much, it took me too long to accept that.

I began preparing what I was going to say in the event they found the note. I couldn't imagine the pain they would feel if they read that and even more so if I came home after they did, it would seem like a kind of sick joke. Though it wouldn't be, it would be a time of my life I overcame the odds and survived a dark time. Ryan wasn't going to get the best of me no more, I was going to survive and become stronger because I was Megan O'Brian and I was better than this.

I looked deep ahead, I finally some sort sign of an ending and began to speed up slightly to get to the end of it. There was a huge sense of relief that overcame me as I got closer... and then further away. A hand grabbed me and pulled me back away from the light and my eyes blurred. My body became too heavy for my legs and I collapsed in sheer panic. I didn't know what I could do as my breathing was uncontrollable and I could only squirm across the muddy floor.

It was following me, I couldn't tell who or what it was – it was blackened in the thick night and I had no chance of escape. I couldn't see what it had in their possession, but I was trapped under the strength of them. The tears rolled down my face and with it my heart stopped. I was left for dead. With my last attempt I tried to get to my feet to just fall back down after getting to my knees. A last 'I love you' and it was over. I was gone, leaving behind a false suicide note.
Jesus dude that is so sad
MJK- It was, Megan is actually based on a real life story (I'm sure it'll be mentioned at some point.)

Looking Back and Forward

The death of Megan was something that took me a long time to come to terms with. I simply couldn't believe she'd take her own life, though everyone was saying that the note was there as pure evidence it just didn't seem right to me. I knew Megan would have doubted herself in the end and not gone ahead with it – she was too strong for that. But her death went down as self inflicted regardless and as much as would protest, nothing would be done.

Five years had passed since and I was now a young 20 year old woman, who many compared to her. My entire family had missed her as much as me and they found comfort in myself as they believed I was a gift and that I was meant to be. I look in the mirror and compare myself to Megan still today and I sometimes understand where they're coming from, but I am nothing like her inside. She was the most selfless person you'd meet, she donated her life to charities and would do anything to help other people over her own self.

The deepest thing that saddens me is that Megan when she died was believed to be pregnant. The one thing her whole life was based around was wanting a child and to hold them in her arms. They couldn't do anything, obviously as she died the child must have died to – she couldn't have been very long with child since it hadn't grown the doctors told me. But the fact I'm here with a child makes me feel guilty. I don't deserve to be here with a child, she does. She was always going to be the more successful of us and I still can't accept that this was meant to be.

Grief does a lot to you as a person, especially when it's someone like her you're losing. I was very dependent on my parents through this time and the thing that got me down was my parents blamed themselves. They were always so confident and so full of happiness but their whole lives were turned upside down with the loss of her, really we all depended on Megan in tough situations and with her gone it was like trying to find something that wasn't there. In the end, we all attended counselling classes in which benefitted us to the best they could. I really have to thank Eve, who much such a change to us all with her support.

I look back on the past five years with deep memories, I am proud that I'm still here as strong as ever and I want to make her proud. Sometimes life throws some massive challenges your way and it's your job to try and overcome them the best you can. It really is an obstacle course of emotions and tasks that test your mental endurance and I'm happy to say I got through it.

My parents are the same – I couldn't imagine losing a child like they have and the fact they had to look after me during the whole process must have made them feel so damaged. The emotional trauma they overcome makes me so proud of them, they are the people that inspired me today and I continue to try and make them as happy as Megan did. I don't want to make it a challenge, it'll be too hard as I am nothing in comparison but I want to be something. I want to leave a mark on people's lives like she did.

With that said, I now go through the challenge of pregnancy and cannot wait for the 8 month long pain to go. Honestly I write this in agony, even at the start you get these little cramps and pains – that's the worst part then the actual kicking in the months to come. I'm glad I can still travel around though, I'm allowed to continue going to the upcoming away games with Paddy – football is something that kept me together during the tough times and it continues to be now.

So I give back the writing duties to him for now, you'll see me again because I have a lot to say and that won't ever change. I'm that cow who doesn't shut up and that's the difference between me and Megan right there. Remember that life is beautiful and you should love you for you. On that note, that's me.
Excellent write up and pumped to see how Paddy is doing with the team. Will we find out what caused her to fall for Paddy and all that jazz?
Mate i love your writing but my god this is sad :(
MJK- Cheers mate, I'm sure we will at one point. A ton of storylines planned, I'm loving how open it can be!

Griffin- Cheers again, it really is sad I know - sadly that's the world we live in :P

October Review

Carlisle United - Colchester United

Doncaster Rovers - Colchester United

Colchester United - Newport County

Colchester United - Morecambe

Plymouth Argyle - Colchester United

League Two Table

Checkatrade Trophy

Colchester United - Southampton U23's

You are reading "Born and Bred: Colchester United".

FMS Chat

hey, just wanted to let you know that we have a fb style chat for our members. login or sign up to start chatting.