Some belting results in the league there. I must say how much I hate the Under 23s in the Checkatrade Trophy in FM, there is no chance with the likes of Shane Long playing against you?!
Born and Bred: Colchester United
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Jack- Aye not kidding! The Checkatrade Trophy is a joke as mentioned - glad it's been scrapped and Coventry will go down as the only ever winners.
Goals Galore
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October was a month we looked forward to as a team. We went into it in good spirits and confident we could get some form going again. Other than perhaps two results that are rather displeasing, this month shown that we can score goals – albeit our defence can be leaky we ensure we outscore the opposition. The first game of the month was a trip to the North-West coast as we took on Carlisle – a side sat in mid-table in 14th. They took the lead through Conor Hunte early on, prompting us to seek for a quick response. Sean Murray has been in fantastic form and once again would find the goal to equalise.
The rest of the game was a borefest aside from the second yellow of first Gary Liddle for the hosts but then Richard Brindley for ourselves. In the 81st minute we would come away with all three points as Murray found a second, a shot from just outside the six yard box was turned in. This meant we would head into the Checkatrade Trophy match off the back of a good win. Again, I did not attend the game and were informed we lost 4-1 down to mostly the amount of first team quality players in the Southampton team – I stand by my point this should be evaluated.
Moving swiftly on, we would travel to Doncaster Rovers next and the Keepmoat Stadium. The hosts were relegated alongside us last season from League One but were very much struggling towards the foot of the table thus far. But it was them who got the early lead once again. Liam Mandeville tapped home from a low cross after 18 minutes and despite numerous attempts from both sides, the half time score would be Doncaster 1 Colchester 0.
It hadn't been a good first half and the players were informed to 'step it up' in the second. That's just what happened from the off. Sean Murray would bag his fourth goal in three games in all competitions this month to level the game and not long later the game would be turned on it's head as a corner from Craig Slater was headed home confidentially from Luke Prosser. The flurry of chances continued as straight from kick-off the ball was won and Slater hit a beauty from 35 yards out to give us a two goal cushion. Gary McSheffrey did make it 3-2 but quickly Fewster would make it 4-2 and then score a second after a further consolation goal to make it 5-3 at full time.
Our first home game of the month would end in tragedy as we would lose 1-0 to Newport County. It was a game in which we were trying to beat ourselves – Newport were nothing special at all and once they went down to 10 men as Joss Labadie was sent off we went for the goal to take our opportunity. We were and no disrespect to them, but the better team on paper. Soon after however, Sean Murray would stupidly get himself sent off levelling the teams once again and as we continued to attack, they were counter and get a rather undeserved winner through Ryan Bird.
A similar match followed against Morecambe, who were languishing in mid-table once again despite running into a lot of money issues through fault of the current owner who is looking to sell them. The off the field issues clearly weren't getting into the players heads however as they were a good footballing side – causing us to have to play our top football in order to remain in the game. Both sides had many chances in the first half with in fact both teams hitting the woodwork but just unable to find a way through.
Dominic Telford would find a goal with 14 minutes of play to go and Morecambe looked as if they would be coming away with the points. A late substitution was made to bring on Sammie Szmodics and he continued his theme of being an impact sub as in the 90th minute, as the board went up for 4 minutes of added time he would provide the goal to ensure we got a much needed point to keep us within the top three and the automatic promotion places.
The month was finally wrapped up with a trip to Home Park and Plymouth Argyle who were once again looking to find the promotion winning season after losing in the playoff final against Wimbledon last year. The Tanners found themselves directly below us in the table so this was a big game in both of our seasons at the current point in time. With ourselves struggling, we needed to make sure to pick up the win and try get some form going, as inconsistency is very much an issue.
Thomas Lapsile has been a key part to the jigsaw in midfield this season and he gave us the lead with just over half an hour played. Chris Porter, who returned in the Carlisle game, would finally find his goalscoring boots again scoring a quick fire double putting us 3-0 up. Yann Songo'o would score just before half time with a well placed effort, but we went in with confidence.
Sean Murray who was also returning to the team following his game suspension after the second yellow picked up against Newport, would score just after the break to give us a surprise 4-1 lead and when the game was wrapped up, despite a goal from Jordan Slew to make it 5-2 as Porter scored again to complete his hat-trick, it meant we would be moving back up to 2nd place and just two points behind Mansfield Town.
I like this idea of a follow-up episode to the monthly update, never seen it done before and you're making it work well at the moment. Lovely stuff Scotty x
Fate
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"Welcome to coverage of the Emirates FA Cup First Round Draw," Jake Humphries said to the millions of viewers watching the draw live. "I am joined by a couple of men who rather enjoyed this competition... Ian Wright, who won the FA Cup with Arsenal and Steve Gerrard who has won this competition twice – both have scored in the final of these games." This was followed by a quick speech from both men before a run through of the teams in the competition. The likes of Dulwich Hamlet and Sutton Coldfield were both talked about as they looked to continue their dream run in the trophy.
The FA Cup is such a prestigious competition and to be able to manage in this was a dream come true considering I watched so many legends lift the trophy as a child dreaming one day it would be me. I was joined by Crystal and her younger brother Dan, who had recently returned from serving in the army. He was a kind man with a strong accent and covered in tattoos. All our sides remained in the competition still – obviously Colchester, Braintree and finally Dan's side Swindon Town.
We were given the number 17 and the balls were tipped into the hat and the draw began. A host of numbers followed by teams were read out - "Dagenham & Redbridge of the National League will play... number 55, Gainsborough Trinity." We sat patiently waiting for our teams to be read out – I was hoping for a straight forward task, to ensure we could potentially reach the Third Round and get ourselves a chance of playing another Premier League side away from home. They say the magic of the FA Cup is dead, but for sides like us and non-league teams it's a goldmine.
Suddenly the number 54 was read out which prompted Crystal to shout, "It's us!" As she looked at the number followed by the team on the left hand side of the TV Screen. There was a long pause as we waited to see who they would be playing. Steven would then say, "number 17" and I knew exactly who that was. Humphries would confirm "Colchester United," and myself and Crystal knew that we would be facing each other.
"I can't believe that-" She said before being sharply cut off by Dan.
"Ahhh that's us!" He shouted as Swindon would face Barrow from the National League who had been playing some very good footballing and on a good run of form.
"You'll win that mate, he's a good manager is Luke (Williams) he knows what's he's doing."
"Hope so," he said.
The rest of the draw was made and we all went for a joke as Crystal cracked jokes about how she's going to dump us out of the cup. So much for moral support – can't blame her though, she was brought up a fan and I don't want her to stop being a fan. Braintree are a well run club and if she supports them, who am I to stop her. A lot of the boys from the squad recognised that she supported them and sent a few cheeky texts that made me laugh, wasn't it typical one was Sean Murray. It's lucky he was a good footballer and could back up his humour, then again I may just keep him around for that.
The magic of the FA Cup is the air for sure within this household, but for different reasons. The fact Crystal would wind me up so much if they got a result was a factor to make sure we won and do so comfortably. This was now war...
My Story
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I joined the army at 18 – it was the path I had chosen to fight for my country and make my family proud. Megan gave me a huge hug and kiss before waving me goodbye, mum and Crystal were in tears worrying for my safety and so remained inside the terrace house. "I'll miss you Dan... I can't wait to see you come home; I'll send letters everyday, I promise," Megan told me. That set me off and I got into the taxi, trying to cover my face as much as I could to stop her seeing what she did to me. My journey began from there – but how was I to know how my life would change so drastically.
Guns shots, everywhere. The bodies of victims lay on top of others and bullets flew second to none. The scream of pain echoed amongst the rubble left in the scene of complete carnage and massacre. I had lost my friends and the people I considered family over the years I served here, they gave their lives for the republic and for the people of our great nation of Great Britain. The name itself spoke of pride and we were honoured to fight for it, hence why we kept going through the rough times.
Fighting on all cylinders, on little food and little thought to my body as we pulled ourselves through the grueling pain. More and more bodies fell each day and each time a mother would lose their child and would have to be informed in some way – many would go missing in battle, often crushed by crumbling buildings which couldn't be cleared in the battle. We were all young men and women, our minds on nothing but getting to the end goal of ending the war and coming home victorious. Yet it would be many years until that would happen. It was simply not just a battle of the war, it was a battle of the mind to keep on going through the hardship every day and night. Many lose limbs fighting for you reading this, if I manage to get this out there. I am lucky enough to not be one of those unfortunate people and can count my sins, that I am still able to fight for myself, my family and my country.
Sleeping at night was tough, some nights we were plagued with thoughts of the people we killed. Although they were classed as the enemy, they were still humans who had a purpose in life. The children were the victims of war, along with the families who just couldn't escape the bloodbath created. The negative image portrayed by the media is all wrong – these people are the real victims who are trying to flee a place where they used to call home that they now can't. They have no option but to run and find somewhere, wherever that be.
Each day innocent lives were lost as the enemies tried to blend in with the host of people that passed through for water to drink and clean in. The tactic was of some success in their part, but it was a dirty method in order to try and kill our own men and women. In the end, many had to be simply shot on the spot to ensure they weren't a part of them – as they would often approach and shoot slyly. Children were used as a way to attack also, the lengths these 'people,' I use that term very loosely, were willing to do in order to rid of us was simply awful.
Years past by until the time the war ended. It wasn't just the British who were celebrating, it was the whole world as well as the people in the village of war and the other soldiers of other nationalities that helped us reign victorious in battle. The phrase 'victorious in battle' does stick with me though, realistically are there any winners in a war? You look back and see all the people who's lives were lost and for what? The reason of war is sometimes so far undercover and is never truly understood but for the words people believe of those in the authority roles like the government and the media. It is a thought that sticks with you.
En route home was a difficult battle again, just using the word 'battle' reminds me of the times on the battlefield. I was suffering flashbacks of the bodies that lay meters away from me, covered in blood with limbs ripped from bodies or faces now completely unrecognisable. Even the people who were carried into the medical center and then discharged as they simply couldn't go on, the tears they cried as they gave everything quite literally. Post traumatic distress is something so surreal and it plagues your mind full of the dark thoughts and you question life and all that it really is. I didn't recover for many years, I found myself overdosing on drugs and alcohol as a way to try and rid of the images in my head and the voices of the dead that seemed to come with them.
But, I turned away from them due to support of my family who came to my aid. Megan was the most supportive and always had been, sending pages and pages of letters most days trying to get me through the war days. She really was the best you could wish for in any family. It was her idea to use my body as a canvas – each tattoo that covers my arm is a symbolic reminder of my life and all I have have lived for. On it, along with the angels and little hidden meanings lay 'Mum,' 'Dad,' 'Megan' and 'Crystal' to show my gratitude of what they have done in my life.
The shear pride that overcomes me in my life everyday now is something I will treasure. I know that I gave my all to protect the secure future of our great nation and there's nothing nobody can do about that. I also know that Megan lay to rest proud of me and I will do the same of her someday. That is my story...
Holy shitball dude.
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EDIT: YEEY 100TH REPLY
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EDIT: YEEY 100TH REPLY
Michael- Thanks for the 100th reply
MJK- I'm a fan of Dan the Man too, notice the rhyme
MJK- I'm a fan of Dan the Man too, notice the rhyme
A Mothers View
Time went by so slowly. The tick and the tock of the clock went through the house as silence loomed over with it. This was the way it had been for weeks as I sat on my own, questioning why. Crystal went to stay with her nan and my husband drank his sorrows away, I couldn't. I blamed myself for it all, I wasn't there for Megan when she needed me the most, my own daughter killed herself in a strange wood because she felt as if she had nobody. It was all my fault.
I read that note she left behind everyday, my tears fell onto the paper making a mark each time. I would find slight memories of her around the house still – the mess she always left behind her wherever she went still remained there. I couldn't bring myself to tidy it because it just seemed to have a place and a memoir now. I simply didn't want to move on – I lost my daughter, my blood and my everything. I wasn't fit to be a mother was I, what sort of a mother would let their own daughter feel so low as to do that to herself?
Screams were frequent, glass shattered all over the floor from where I would simply just throw something or break something with my own force. I wasn't safe to be around and I was glad my mother let Crystal be with her and as for Dan, my dear son was still fighting and couldn't come home. I was left alone, broken and empty, was this how Megan felt when I abandoned her? I hope it did because this is what I deserve, I deserve to be punished and made to feel worthless like she felt.
Sleepless nights were common, haunted by the vision of the body in the woods. The long blonde hair with the skimpy coat, I remember telling her, "Cover up, you'll get cold Megan!" Instead she ignored me and left without notice of where she was going. Going to a wood to end her own life and I didn't for one second think to follow her and at least make her answer my question as to why she was leaving in a hurry at such a late hour. How couldn't I blame myself, my whole existence became a question of why? Why didn't I do this, or this... I was left regretting everything.
Some days the air felt heavy and I was lost for air, it was as if I was choking on nothing and I couldn't explain why. The doctors told me it was due to the mental state I was in and "it was a normal feeling in such a traumatic time," but I felt as if it was someone trying to tell me to join her. I felt so weak and fragile, left crying myself to sleep and unable to be normal again. I was trapped inside a dirty house, full of memories of happier times and the guilt she left behind for me.
Usually I would turn to her for support in times like now. She was my child but she was my rock... in fact she was everyone's rock. Without her I was exposed to who I really was, a pathetic excuse. Day after day the blame got worse and stronger with it increased the voices with it. The voices of blame, telling me it was my fault and I had no way to deafen them. The door would open and I would expect her voice to follow with her cheery "Hi mum," but it never came.
When you lose someone so sudden it comes as a shock to the system regardless. But when you hear it was down to themselves, that they caused their own death, it's something unexplainable. The news were reporting it for days, I would turn on the TV to try and at least blare out those voices but the other thing that did was the reports of her to add to them. It was as if the world was out to get me now. I didn't believe in fate until now, I was confident my fate was not to be here without her.
It had been nearly a month since her passing and I was still trapped in the house of nightmares, as I had now nicknamed it. There was a knock at the door and in came Tina, the one friend I had. "Oh love.. I'm so sorry," she struggled out before collapsing into tears and coming into the house with me as I did too. "It was my fault Tina, I shouldn't have let her go-" She shook her head and opened her mouth to speak but I silenced her, "Don't make excuses for me, my fate is now to join her I have getting signs for weeks."
"Love, please let me help you. I know that Megan didn't do this to myself, the police themselves aren't confident that she committed suicide." Tina explained, wiping away her tears with a tissue.
"Nothing can explain for that note, she planned this." I said to Tina, sobbing loudly.
"Sarah, you know she wouldn't have gone ahead with this and I for one are not letting this drop. We are going to fight for justice."
"Fight for justice in what? She ended her own life Tina, don't be so clueless! This was meant to be." I shouted, trying to make her understand the obvious.
"This case isn't over yet, trust me." She got up off the sofa and began boiling the kettle, "I'm staying and we are talking, don't you dare try to get rid of me."
Tina didn’t leave. She stayed the night and supported me through the whole thing, she also arranged to get support for myself and my family. She had always been this way, the day I met her she bought me a cup of tea out of nothing but kind will. She was a beautiful women of grace and far too good for any man, as I told her. Tina became my Megan and I couldn't have been more thankful. But she was also there to witness the most harrowing news I had ever received just days later...
You are reading "Born and Bred: Colchester United".
